The greatset entertainer of our time.

Finally, a forum where most of the people are smart and logical. Thanks to you all for pointing out to people who are delusional that Nolly is in a class of its own, Last.

I just got these stats from forbes, Bollywood generates Almost $2 billion in revenue a year (will generate $4 billion by 2011 due to huge deals being signed between Holly and Bolly), While Hollywood generates almost $10 billion a year. Nolly on the other sorry hand with 200 home videos a month generates $250 million a year (according to former President Obasanjo not Forbes). So where is the comparison. When they are collaborating with The Largest and highest grossing film industry (Hollywood) why would they waste time with nollywood that is if they were not begged to come so the Nolly punks can brag in the press, I don tire jo.

Glad i could help.

All of them, plus the producers, marketers and even people who enjoy the rubbish they act.

The great American actor; Spencer Tracy once said and i quote "Acting is making the other actor look good". Nollywood actors just make each other look silly, so you question should be who is the worst?

That was hot.

Adewale Agbaje (LOST)
Chewetei Ejiofor (Insideman, American Gangster)
Caroline Chikezie (Mistress of spices)
Sophie Okonedo (Hotel Rwanda)

These are probably the most popular ones we got there although some of them shuttle between U.S and U.K for productions.

As per Nollywood people, anyone who tells you he or she is a nollywood actor and acts in American movies or American based is a fat black liar.

@Sisi Kill
There you are, been a while o' i see you are still at it. Thumbs up.

@everybody else
Jacob's Cross, men i don't like it, you know why? It reminds me how far behind we are. That show is the last straw, and Nigerians are bragging that no other country has a channel dedicated to it (African Magic). Who ever heard of someone claiming he has written a good story when it has been shifted to the recycle bin of the desk top? Thats all African Magic is A bin. Lets make stuff that can get onto Series channel or Mnet without us having to apologise to the foreigner sitting next to us on the couch for the terrible crap they just saw on TV.

@Captured and everyone else,
I am not trying to be a player hater or Naija hater or nolly h, but all you have to do is really sit down and try to imagine Jim Iyke (with his lousy acting) in a scene with a Bolly or Hollywood actor or actress. U must be laughing.

I am not saying a Nigerian can never star with a foreign star but it surely won't be these wack jobs. Mind you we have Nigerians making waves abroad e.g Adewale agbaje (LOST) and Chiwetei Ejiofor (Inside man). As a matter of fact if you have seen the movie Mistress of spices by Ashwarya Rai one of bollywoods hottest actresses, you'll find 2 Nigerians in there namely Adewale Agbaje and Caroline Chikezie but unfortunately they are not nollywood products. Till Nollywood steps up their game or allow people who can enter and step it up for them, nothin nothing for them. As far as i'm concerned this bolly nolly thing is like Nigeria delivering grain to Niger during thier famine.

@Captured
I never said i was against bollywood coming to Nigeria, but i say it should be under sensible circumstances. We should be learning from them and not trying to compare our selves with them, World position aside we cannot match their movies, even the ones from far back eg Disc dancer. So what do we have to offer them? a working relationship should benefit all parties involved. If Bolly is to come it will seem like charity cos we might gain, and i say might because we might just try to pose that we are working with Bolly instead of actually learning but what will the gain? definitely not money and definitely not fame.

After what u said about Forbes, i researched it and there was nothing on nollywood on Forbes, but i was able to learn that Bollywood is finally working with Hollywood, raking in big bucks and deals worth billions are being signed. Now this is because they improved by stepping up their production to near hollywood standard.

Let me ask you a question, If you start an airline and did a good job and had to enter a joint venture with Arik or Nigeria airways, which would you choose?

Logic!

@Captured

Guy/Girl are you for real?
Forbes and Mnet? I bet you are one of the people who believes that Nollywood is actually the third/second largest film industry instead of third/second largest film producing nation. Forbes focuses on Cash and net worth, check it again. I am not just taking for the sake of talking i have written for international and local magazines and the movie s is my specialty and i actually want to see things get better here. Thank God for this forum where we can exchange views.

Ask yourself what kind of story are we going to come up with that will need the appearance of Bollywood stars? Are our styles similar (singing and dancing)? Will the films be in English?

It is not just enough to bring the stars, the move has to be justified. Its houldn't just be a way to boost Nolly cos if it goes wrong, it will be a blemish on the industry and such a collabo will never happen again, you get me?

How awful, how can betrayal be faithful? The name of the movie speaks for itself,

When the term 'Giant of Africa was coined i believe they just meant in terms of population. cos thats all we can brag about and nothing else. Agbaya of Africa suits us better sha.

ARE YOU SERIOUS, NOLLYWOOD AND BOLLYWOOD HAVE GIVEN HOLLYWOOD A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY? hOLLYWOOD MAKES MORE IN A YARE THAN BOLLY AND NOLLY COMBINED, INFACT HOLLYWOODS BIGGEST HIT FOR A YAER MAKES TEN TIMES MORE THAN ALL NOLLYWOOD FILMS OUT TOGETHER, SO DON'T THINK THAT HOLLYWOOD IS WORRIED ABOUT A SILLY RANKING, WHAT'S THIS PRIMARY SCHOOL?

AS PER YOUR NOLLYWOOD AND BOLLYWOOD COLLABO, GO COLLABO WITH SOUTH AFRICA FIRST. HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK YOU CAN PAY A BOLLY ACTOR WHEN THIER SALARY WILL MAKE 100 NOLLYWOOD FILMS.

crap

I am totally disappointed in most of the things i just read in this forum,
First and foremost, this should wake the Nigerian film industry up, cos if it was a scene that was to depict India, they would have used indian actors, but they never used a single nollywood actor.
Secondly, the movie is not directed at the nigerian market so its not important that they get it right, i mean if they made a chunk of their movie revenues from Nigeria they would have cared what we think, but they lose most of it to piracy, i bet you most of the people complaining here watched this move on pirated DVD.

And COME ON, UBA building? Any smart thinking person can tell that was shot in a studio, hello, CGI.

Am i dreaming? i can't believe there are Nigerians that will watch Hollywood movies, watch Nollywood movies, then begin to imagine that anybody in Nollywood, with the fake accents, bad acting, unconvincing portrayals can bag them spots in Hollywood movies.

Did you people ever wonder why Bollywood actors were used in films like Slum dog millionaire, Bride and prejudice, Mistress of the spices, etc. Chinese actors are used in American kung fu movies, South Africans used in movies based on South Africa, Rwandans used in Hotel Rwanda (and a slew of South African TV stars) but they never use nollywood actors when it comes to stories that remotely concern Nigeria?

The answer is they don't respect nollywood actors because nollywood cannot be compared with other movie industries of the world (India, America, China/Hong Kong. France, Germany, Australia, Egypt, South africa, etc.

When many Nigerians brag that we are 3rd or 2nd largest in the world, it is only in terms of the number of films we produce, not the size or power. So let's groom our people and start litle befroe we get carried away and start talking nonsense. Can you ever imagine a scene in any movie with Denzel Washington and RMD, i know you can't.

My fellow Nigerians, Season 4 will be the last season of PRISON BREAK. production will not continue and the creators say it is better to bow out gracefully cos the series was such a blast while it ran. Google it if you don't believe me.

Oh yeah before i forget.

Jim Iyke
Tony tetuila
Eedris Abdulkareem
Artquake
ZAKI AZZAY (this guy is so terrible he makes Ivan the terrible seem like santa Clause)
Eddy remedy ( well thank God he's faded)
Kenny St shit

I could go on forever cos i believe 99% of these guys should be something else other than musicians.

@obinna5000
Thank God o', i thought i was the only sane person in Naija. Tuface really made a bad move appearing on that whack track. I went totally red with embarrassment when i heard it, i mean, after all the hullabaloo about jim iyke recording all over the world and coming with a bang, we get a new version of Eedris Abdulkareem. That guy better respect himself and his family and fade.

The dance 'Alanta has existed for a while now, but the song by Artquake is a very silly and terribly made song, imagine the crap has almost 5 verses and no bridge. No wonder they never had a hit in their 10 shitty years in music.

Sisi, Why you kill Baby leave jinx?

I don’t mean to sound like an enemy of progress, but all that yarn no make me feel anything. As far as I’m concerned Emeka Mba is no Soludo, so he can’t do for Nollywood what Soludo did for the banking industry. I strongly believe that what the film industry needs is a total overhaul, new blood, in one simple word a REVOLUTION. I know some people for don tire to dey hear that word, but that is the truth. New people with new ideas, people that have not been blinded with the few naira notes they can make from Nollywood as it is. Quite frankly Emeka Mba is not it. Why, you say?

I don’t mean to sound too “enemy of progressy” but hear me out. If you can go back and find THE GAURDIAN newspaper of July 13th 2006, you’ll find an article on page 66, In this article Nollywood darling Emeka Mba was ordering cinema houses in Nigeria (Silverbird, Nu-Metro, City Mall, etc.) to show Nigerian films or be fined in a stupid move called “play or pay”. Now isn’t that the daftest thing I ever heard. The guy is actually trying to force people to watch Nolly as it is. Instead of finding ways to make the films better, he is actually trying to make the crap we produce more popular. They even went to Cannes Film Festival in France a couple of years back, to do what? I don’t know. From what I heard they apologized to the small audiences through all their screenings. Now tell me if it wouldn’t have been a better move to tell filmmakers that if they met a certain standard, their films would be screened at the cinemas. That would have made many of them serious and that would have improved the quality of the films they make. His silly order was issued 2 years ago, If it had been to film makers I guarantee we will be writing different stuff here.

Thinking the major problem plaguing Nollywood is the distribution is plain silly, Can you confidently try to push sales of unclean pure water instead of just making it more suitable for drinking? Well, that is exactly what’s going on here, cos the product being sold is not good enough for local consumption, talk less of exportation. Just like what happened to the banks, introducing standards is the best bet. I hope I made a point.

Now to address another issue; Like I said a while ago, I am a player in entertainment, to people who feel this is all talk and no action. I can’t count how many letters I have written to some of these people. I have discussed with my people in entertainment, musicians, directors, animators, etc (No actors, because they are so terrible nothing I say will ever help them). So know that I know what I am talking about. When a group of people have something locked down and are having a ball, they will not let anyone come spoil their fun even if you are offering them a lifeline. That is the state of the industry. There are people who actually have good intentions but they are being out muscled. A wind of change is coming (I Didn’t get that from Obama).

My people. Why do I feel like I walked in on the royal rumble?

How come I feel like some of you missed some of the issues I raised here and also some of the questions I asked about the way forward? I don’t know how to do that quoting thing, abi who fit teach me? Anyway just rewind or go back or whatever and re-read some of the stuff.
I know “some people” think maybe this is all we are going to do, yap yap and no action but this is where it may start, know that you just don’t go into a fight without understanding anything about what you are going to fight. Where do you start? Where do you attack first? Where is the weak spot you have to strike to bring Goliath down?

Solutions can be suggested and practical solutions can be proffered, maybe some nolly people might pick up on them and start implementation or we do something ourselves I don’t know but a spark has been ignited sha. Am I blabbing?

Nollywood is about 20 years old and has grown as crap, changing it will not happen overnight but that’s not to say change won’t happen.

@Lucabrasi, You have tried to push a point, ok. Howz about you take the lead now. What should we do? And please don’t just say let’s be pro-active, what do we actually do?

@Vesc
you don't believe that $1,000,000 crap do you?

@Sisi/Baby jinx
Honestly i thought it was you cos the writing styles and wittiness but then i checked out the number of posts you had up here as Baby Jinx and as Sisikill, they were too much so i just guessed i could be mistaken. Girl! How the hell did you manage to balance it all. I guess i am not as smart as Dr. HOUSE. Anyhow sha glad to know its you, thought you bailed on us.

OK let the REVOLUTION continue.

Wow, you just about got it all there.

Where the Nolly lovers at?

MEN! I knew i could rely on you guys to tell me the truth unlike some of those crappy articles some nolly lovers wrote. you'd think the movie was nominated for an oscar the way they went on and on about it. They even went as far as saying the movie cost $1,000,000. I tire for naija people o'.

1) In movies you really like, what do you think was most important?

The script
Who does the movie star?
The characters
The plot/storyline
Special effects
Music/songs
Visuals (does it look good on the big screen?)
Action
Romance
Suspense
Actually feeling the characters' emotions


2) What do you think spoils movies most?
A bad script
Irritating characters
Poor storyline
Themes that have been done too many times
If it's too long or slow
If it's too short
Noticeable mistakes (continuity, seeing cameras when you shouldn't, etc)
Having to yell `Just kiss him/her!'
Overplayed action/romance scenes
A stupid or radical ending
Being based extremely loosely on a book
Being too predictable
Being too radical
In other words all of the above

3) Have you stopped watching a movie before the end of it?
Yes
No
I try not to, but if its a Nollywood movie , sometimes i stop before i even start.

4) What is your opinion on movie sequels?
Every movie should have a sequel!
Some sequels are good e.g. Aliens 2, Terminator 2 (T2), etc
No, any sequel is rarely as good as the original
Can nobody think of something original?


When it actually comes to Nollycrap, everything always points to the negative. By the way did anybody ever see Amazing Grace? i was going to but when i saw The first Nigerian film on 35mm boldly written on the cover of the DVD case, i got pissed and walked away. Was it any good?

@Baby Jinx
I'm drowning still.

My people, i wanted to pose a question to all. Do you believe that a new professional body like DGA (Directors Guild of America) should be created? With a few serious rules of course.

All films must meet a certain standard.
All films will be shown to a test audience before release to test audience reactions.
All films must be shot with standard equipment.

The list can go on and on (Una fit add una own). I know our usual haters will insult the hell out of us and say we want to kill the common man, there are no funds, blah blah blah. Remember that Nigerians will never push hard until you force them. During the banking sector reforms, when banks were told they'd go poof if they didn't have a capital base of 25 Billion, sure they cried for Soludo's head but look where we are at now, all banks are bragging about their pockets and images. Imagine what something similar will do for the film industry. It's quite simple "meet these standards or your films will not be screened".