Thank you all once again but I want to clarify some things. The maid was brought to me by her mother not a trafficker, the mother gave birth to 6 girls and 3 boys and she can't cater for them all. No husband and no profitable income. My wife was kind of against the idea but I just felt that the maid will help her the more, with a new born baby at hand. I didn't know I have committed a child abuse by employing a teen less than 18,I didn't know until now. So sorry about that.

I told her mother what happened and with the way she replied, most of her girls have been exposed to such so it's basically from home. She apologised and I also did for cutting short our terms. I gave her some money just to help

I don't even know who to say sorry to for committing a child abuse.. Maybe the mother, the girl, the people here or my wife. I'm so sorry and I won't have anything to do with any teen. I'm deeply sorry

Thank you all for all your inputs,i truly appreciate.
I've talked to him this evening, I asked him questions. He was trying to lie and do some sorts but I found my way in.. He said its not his first time of touching the girl's breast and she too do touch his pen.is sometimes. I was seriously down when he said this. He said more than thrice. I asked him why he didn't tell me or his mum, he said did day he wanted to tell me I was on call and mom was busy also then later mom called for night prayer. I was like, you could have told me still but I guess he's was afraid or ashamed to talk because I always give him attention when he calls me.
Well, I have talked to him like a son and brother, I've told him the implications of what he did and how bad it is,I've told him that he should report anybody that touches his manhood to me. He was close to tears though but I didn't threaten him throughout our conversation.

I've changed his plans, limited TV, more time with me, siezed his ball (still have some toys with him) and I'll have to make him spend more time with his books.. Hopefully he will change.. He was kind of relaxed I didn't beat him though

I haven't informed my wife about anything cos she's also faced a lot .. I seriously don't know how she will react and I don't want her to bounce on the maid, I just looked for something to make sure the maid goes and I've called the person that brought her that she's done here. I didn't even talk to the maid. I don't want to let anger take a high toll on me.. I just left her.

When they pick her up tomorrow, I'll tell her ward about what she did. I'll also take him to school tomorrow and tell his teacher talk to him and watch him too.

I pray he change...thank you all.. May God keep us and our children safe

Modified

Thank you all once again but I want to clarify some things. The maid was brought to me by her mother not a trafficker, the mother gave birth to 6 girls and 3 boys and she can't cater for them all. No husband and no profitable income. My wife was kind of against the idea but I just felt that the maid will help her the more, with a new born baby at hand. I didn't know I have committed a child abuse by employing a teen less than 18,I didn't know until now. So sorry about that.

I told her mother what happened and with the way she replied, most of her girls have been exposed to such so it's basically from home. She apologised and I also did for cutting short our terms. I gave her some money just to help

I don't even know who to say sorry to for committing a child abuse.. Maybe the mother, the girl, the people here or my wife. I'm so sorry and I won't have anything to do with any teen. I'm deeply sorry

Pavore9:


Beating him is not a remedy as was suggested. Have a one to one talk with the maid, to get information on how long the molestation has been going on and before sending her away, you should have spoken to your son what you have seen him doing with the maid and why it is wrong and pre-inform him that the maid will be leaving so that when she leaves he would not become withdrawn because his mind has associated her presence to "pleasure".

Thank you

Aidejay:
okay okay I agree. From my experience the next best thing is to sit him down and talk it out. It's done already u can't erase it but u can ensure that he finds solace in the fact that you are there to protect him. And love him irrespective of his errors, also d girl u can't just abandon the poor child due to your fatherly instincts pushing the reject button let her be there too let both of them talk and reveal what's behind the curtain. Most boys strive to make sure they don't disappoint their fathers and that's a fathers greatest tool the fear of dissappointment use it at will but don't over do it cause it starts wearing off
Plus children see and do it's not enough to just switch back to d movies when he is asleep how sure are u that he's asleep or unattentive try news, football and good TV shows they work better. Religious programmes start becoming a drag. More attention is needed pay more attention to what he is saying, watching, playing with, looking at, doing. In d end he's going to be okay honestly u can't protect him from everything but u can make sure he knows where to go to when he's in trouble or confused and that place should be you

. Thank you for this.. He sleeps in my room alongside with my wife, so I'm very sure about him sleeping.. He's even afraid of darkness so there's no way he can crawl out to watch TV even though I keep the remote in a place his hands can't reach.. There's time for him to watch TV.. I don't deny him that.. I just don't watch the TV with him except football.. We watch that together all the time I'm around.. He's still angry about Nigeria's loss to Madagascar sha.. So I just tune in to a cartoon station and off I go with the remote... No way for him to watch any other thing unless they show another thing on the cartoon station

Modified
Me and my wife do not have sex in the presence of the boy, me and my wife don't work under anyone so we decide the day we will have it and all the time we have sex, the boy is always in school.. Only morning and afternoon, we don't have sex at night

We are never careless about showing much affection in his presence. So no way he got it from us

genq:


Good.

But just so you know, that 14 year old girl you employed is a CHILD just as your son is. It could very much be a mutual affair between them.

I know your madam will beat that girl once she hears of it but I must warn you that if she lays a hand on that girl child, she will never know joy over her own children. Mark my words.

I'm just warning you ahead of time. Protect and guide that girl like she is your own. If your wife cannot correct her in love, then send her back peacefully.

Me and my wife have never laid a hand on the girl.. We treat her like own.. We don't maltreat her at all

Ishilove:
Kweeeke! Epechime...

No leave me like this

Aidejay:
Beating him will solve many things I assure u
Okay don't best d young man but punish him at least don't let this thing become a thing out of control a little correction is needed here and there
Alright alright I don't like beating but seriously u need to do more like punish both of them together so they understand that it's a two way street they both eired.

To beat him is not the issue.. My fear is what has been deposited in him.

LadySarah:
I have 2 sons ,a 2 week newborn and a 14 yr old help.He has never bathed My kids.It is solely between My husband and i.His job is strictly companionship afterschool hrs .We decided it because few mins of bathing them in the mornings and at night will not remove anything from us.
As it stands,he is gone and we shared the job between us.If we told You our fears escalated when My Aunt's 3 sons under 8 were anally molested by her help then we decided no more help.
Send her home immediately,have a Sex Talk with your son. Change your Dstv pg settings to his age range and lastly pray for him.

Thank you... I'll up my sex talk with him

genq:
I don't mean to gloat over your son's misfortune but this is what happens when a mother leaves the raising of her children to outsiders. Let me guess your wife is too busy to take care of the kids right? Because shes a "modern working class woman".

Go and ask women abroad how they manage to work full time and still raise their own children without househelp. Unlike these ones in Nigeria who after just one child, they can't do chores again. House helps are then put in place to assume the duties of a wife and mother.

Your son is one of many children out there suffering the consequences of these lifestyle choices.

She's not... We didn't have maid before.. We just employed this maid because she just gave birth and we just relocated few months ago....our plan is when the baby is old enough, the maid will go.. The maid's work is limited

GrabHisBalls:
Before sending the girl away, you should question her. The information you get from her would help in knowing how all this started and from there, you'll definitely know how to approach it. One thing is certain, he's likely to practice whatever he's into now with other kids. Act fast before it's too late.

I'll do that... The fear of his smartness is what I have to overcome

Libo45:
You need to correct and guide your son. He's still very young so he's still very malleable. Spend time and have regular talks with him. Teach him how about morality and decency. Educate yourself on how best to give your children sex education. It's your responsibility.

To be father no be beans. Channel your sadness into finding how best to help your son. It's worth every effort.

If you don't man up and give him the needed love, discipline and guidance today, he go give you headache tomorrow.

' Na when iron hot dem dey turn am to any shape'

Thank you

ifex370:
For the first time in a while.




I really don't know what to say.



But since your son is smart, call him and talk to him like a man.



He's still your best friend.

He is bro.. He's my nigga.. That's why i relate with him as if we are mates

I'm very disturbed now

This might be long

I don't know if he's the one assaulting her or she's the one doing so.. I don't even know what is going on

I got back from work, went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my son entering a room. He was calling her name and entered. I've been suspecting something like this so I used the opportunity to peep. I saw my son sitting close to her, putting his hand across her neck, this time she was giving a faint smile while putting her palms on her face. Later the boy went to her back and started squeezing her breast from behind. Mehn.. I'm sad, shocked, bad.. Everything. I called him and I pretended not to see anything, why? I know if I react, I'll severely deal with him and that won't change anything because he's been poisoned already. I feel like I've failed as a father already.

He's 7 turning to 8,the girl is 14. I seriously don't know what to do about my son, in fact I can't eat to think well. I'll be sending away the girl though but I'm sure that won't stop my son from doing things. Especially in his school. I'm afraid of anything that may happen.

First time I noticed a strange relationship between them, i called him, talked to him about not showing his pen.is to anyone, to keep himself covered and all sort, asked him questions about anyone touching him in any manner and he said no. I asked him about his friends in school.. He named 8 of dem and 2 of them are girls.

I've failed as a father. My wife is not yet back but when I tell her, she will beat the boy and that won't change anything. I don't know where I went wrong. The maid bathes the boy, dresses for him too. Maybe that's where the issue lies. My wife just gave birth and that's why we employed a maid to help her and take care of the house till the baby is old enough.

I don't know where he got it from, I've stopped my wife from watching movies on dstv anytime he's with her.. She only watches redeemed channel and maybe news then when he's asleep, she face her movies. She asked why and i said there was a day I came back from work, and the way he greeted me was very strange... Normally, I relate with him as if we are age mates.. I can say my guy, how u dey na and he replies with daddy, I just gentle... Just normal guyman things but this one is totally different and no one needs to tell me he got it from the movies.. No one.

Maybe I have to take charge of bathing him

He's a very smart boy.. Very very smart and that's my fear.. And for him to be exposed to this has duely affected me.

Please help me.. Abuse me, curse me.. I don't have a choice.. Just help me

Pardon my English pls.. Just help