miztola: Most ridiculous assumptions about ladies ever seen.......OP clap for urself,u re getting there.

so you are one of them too. I GIVE UP!!!

alexdellafonte:

N btw, the thing dey bite you ni....ehyahh i dont knw u are one of them. I don spoil market for u na

ShirelleBaby: #EDITED#just went tru all ur posts and saw u only deal in ladies affair!!smh-mehn,NICCAQ,u are jobless

Good of you.U jst show your joblessness and lack of home trainning.
GUYS BEWARE OF THIS POO(ugly thing).
Im too busy to have ur time. u ar a lucky poo!!!

ShirelleBaby: U should use the habit of the gutter girl u dated to generalise ur gutter opinions-it is just like dating a rich man kid and she requests for juice to eat her meal and u say she is not a good option?grow sense into ur thick skull

alert!!! This is one of them, i don expose her. SEE HER GUTTER MOUTH, THIEF!!!!

Waspy:

did it keep u racking ur brain?
open your eyes and brain well well ooo b4 u jam urself for corner

shizzleStar: LMAO! enjoyed reading this, quite hilarious but very insightful as well

Na so ooo

As i went to my girlfriend's hostel on monday this week in order to kill the boredomness that wanted to sniff life out of me in my place. As i got there, she entertained me to the fullest beyond my wildest imagination. But something went wrong which accelerated my boredomness back in multiple folds. As i collected her new bb phone, logged into her facebook account and checked her timeline. I met the shock of my life. 3 consecutive status updates as thus:

1st Update:TGIF....Clubbing things on ma mind---Friday at 5:15pm via *Nokia mini browser*

2nd update:I can't believe ma ears..A 60yrs old guy is asking me out for a night with an offer of blackberry phone.Very disgusting, he thinks am cheap---Friday at 11:24pm via *Nokia mini browser*

3rd update:Wow, yesterday's night was real fun, I feel great this morning---Saturday at 8:15 am via *blackberry*

Are you thinking what i am thinking?

This may look funny to you but trust me, it will go a long way. Be gentle and Keep calm as you read this indispensable strategy before knotting the tie.

Invite her for dinner, eat together & watch out for the following;

*If she starts eating the meat before u it implies that, she would have planned for your salary/income before u collect it.

*If she wants to share the meat equally, she won't be obedient to u, she will always question ur authority.

*If she asks for juice and glass of milk, I am sorry for you, she is used to hotel quickies! Put her on voicemail.

*If she has a bigger spoon than u, it means u can't win any argument with her at all and she may end up beating you one day!

*If her mouth makes noise while eating, it means she can't keep secrets.

*If she asks for extra fufu, nna, you will need blood tonic to survive the marriage!

...my 50cents....

I was on my way to visit my girlfriend in Maiduguri, Borno state. As we were waiting for the bus to load, I noticed one Aboki sitting behind the driver holding a bag and sweating. The guy was so uneasy, shifting from side to side on his seat, wiping sweat from his face. Hmmm, at this point I no know wetin I go think, could this be.....,well no need to jump into conclusions yet. Now he started to look around, as if he was trying to access his environments, he would look around and look at his watch, look again and check his watch, and then all of a sudden he placed the bag under his seat, jumped down and started walking very fast away from the bus.Na that time I realize say no be only me dey look this man, as he jumped down, everybody scatter, me sef jump down go far place. Every single passengers abandoned the bus. Five minutes later,we saw the aboki coming back to the bus with tissue paper in his hands wondering where everybody went.... Na that time I come realize say na shit dey worry the aboki.
Since then i have not travelled to see her again because of the fear, i still dey young, i no wan die. Now she is complaining.
I need ur advice on if i should go or not.

Ceasar1:

If that's true, then you must surely be dead by now. Which means it's your ghost typing. Wow! Julius is right! There sure is Network in HELL!

#*** Mode ACTIVATED.

u must be kidding

#1. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..

#2. If you suck one nipple, the woman herself offers the other one. And that..was the origin of "buy one get one free"

#3. everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P"Peticoat, panties, pussy...No wonder men suffer from high B.P

#4. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're screwed.

#5. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got screwed to achieve it.

#6. 3 people having sex is a party, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment

#7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.

#8. When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "Congrats!".But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters..Now that I've educated. you, go ahead and click on likes/comment

True yawn.
In other news:

-PDP blames APC for Brazil loss.
- APC blames Fifa for changing their ref due to lack of Penalties.
- Naija girls switch to german hair as against brazilian hair.
- Super Eagles (excluding mikel)forgiven for their early-yet-honourable exit.
- PSG tell Chelsea; we want our £50m back, take your David Luiz; we no buy again.
- Pele changes nationality to Ghana says he has a brother there.
-Fifa says the 7-1 loss was just a training match the real match date will soon be announced as Brazil weren't ready.
-Scolari sack letter being typed at this moment.

wahalai, cortana na virgin. She fall my hands when she talk say argentina go win

Dey be fish ni??
No wonder they have fish-brain!!!

GINGER77: Need battery powered vibrators, and other intimacy gadgets call: 07035589345 (WHATSAPP) Then BB PIN: 26B5DE9E

why now?

mstik: hahaha You lie! We shall see

smh for u

can i take my o' level result with me?

If A Carpenter Was Enough for Mary, The Mother Of Jesus.

Then What's The Problem With Girls Of Nowadays that wont give you audience unless you have a ride and money bags.

IamDejman: Nobody's answered d guy question.


My guy, its not customary. Lyk lomaxx said, try to roll with girls with class!!!

tnx bro

lomaxx:

Then why are you worried??
You know something isn't right.
I went back to your first post.


Do you buy these things(hair , toiletries, recharge cards, provisions) spontaneously or she demands for them ??



I'm just curious.

I am worried bro. This is because when we are just platonic friends, she neva asked of a penny from me.

JesDivine: Does she give you any reason to believe you're a mugu? I mean, does she love and care for you the way you love and care for her? Some guys will be like, 'spending on your girlfriend automatically makes you her mugu'. And I wonder if sleeping with your girlfriend also makes her your sex machine. Have you stopped to think that she might really love him but just needs the money to keep fit? When a girl asks money from her boyfriend, he's termed a mugu, but when a guy asks sex from his girlfriend, it's justifiable? Guys, please grow up. Yes, some guys are mugus to some girls but I believe that in cases like that, the signs are always there, staring the guy right in the eye. So, spending on a girl you love (and who loves you too) does not make you a mugu.

She has never given me any impression that she just wanted me for the money i do give her.
Moreover she happens to care alot about me.

Dygeasy: ROTFL

make I dash this guy one e-slap?

From the topic, all i ask is, do they have customary privileges from the boyfriends.
Nobody has answered that!!!

decode55:

are you sure you're male?

wat made u say dt?

lomaxx:

What is sustaining their relationship is his role as the provider. The day OP is broke or can't bring the usual money as needed, his ars.e will be dumped.

Or if the girl finds a better mugu with more potential, he'll be streamlined to second position on the scale of things. He will come back here and open another thread lamenting how the girl isn't picking his calls and replying his messages.

she does understand when i dont have much on me too

decode55:



& you're spending cash on a girl you probably won't get married to



[size=30pt] MUGU [/size]

N may i ask wat are the privileges she is supposed to have from the relationship

decode55:

& are you a student also?

No

decode55: if she's a student, there's probably 1 dude in her hostel she's giving the punny for free sef

Almajiris

yes bro. she is a student of OAU.

lomaxx: Have you f.ucked her yet?

I rep intimacy after wedding.

This has kept me thinking for a why now.
There was a girl that i met a couple of weeks ago(approx. 6wks). We have been platonic friends ever since then. She possessed all the qualities i have always desire to have in a girl in this world and world beyond.
But something happened few days after she gave in when i proposed to her to be my girlfriend.
You know what happened? YES, your guess is as gud as what transpired between us. She has been asking me for money for her clothes, toileteries, hair, feeding, recharge cards and many more.
This has been giving me sleepless night, wondering if these are the customary privileges girlfriends are meant to have from their respective boyfriends. Or may be i am just one of her mugus she took to play the role of her father!!!

I NEED YOUR CANDID ADVICE, NAIRALANDERS.

frankben: What's funny about this?


*moves away from thread*

u be bad belle ooo,dt other girl don also break the remainning pieces of ur heart?
SMH, mtchewwww