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alaoeri: Op abeg wetin be satire?

Satire is, "the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc."


Source: Dictionary.com

Thoughts?

The Nigerian Business Partner
So you had heard of the numerous horror stories but chose you to ignore it. You, a loyal and patriotic citizen of your beloved Country have chosen to bulldoze through all the bad “belle” stories to forge ahead with the business venture. You, a loyal and patriotic citizen has chosen to give your good brothers and sisters, fellow patriots of a great Country- the giant of Africa, the benefit of doubt.

Or so you thought…

After forcefully clamping down on your doubts, you forged ahead. It would be well. Your brothers and sisters cannot disappoint. Disappoint? Your Nigerian business partner echo with a look of distaste on his face as though the very word was distasteful to him. God forbid!

You are convinced!

How could someone who prophesies to have such a close relationship with God and whose every other word was praise or a prayer be duplicitous. Impossible! You surge ahead.
It is time for the business brainstorming session.
You are coming up with some good ideas, and your Nigerian business partner concurs with you or so you think. Things are going well.
You’re thinking, “How could people have said all those mean things about Nigerians?” None of it is true. People are so mean! See what you could have missed out on.
Your Nigerian partner’s thinking, “Ehen, so you think you would show me up “shebi”? Let me praise you to your face! We will see how you will achieve this now. Let’s see how this plan would come to fruition! Hissssss.” (wide smile on lips, eyes are slits).

You get to the business appointment.

After so many hits and misses because of the many activities of your Nigerian partner (how can one person be so busy?), you finally agree on a day for the appointment. The Heavens be praised! Progress is being made.
You show up on the day and the time that you AND your Nigerian business partner set up only to hear, “Oh, you’re here! You didn’t even call to see if I would be here, “na wa o””, this after an appointment that you had already scheduled and reconfirmed the day before. Wonders!

The business proposal stage

Your Nigerian business partner hounded you and burned your phone line- communication was open, response was fast. You are highly impressed- things are looking great!
Until you put down the capital and products for the business venture… after that,if you got a flash call, one-thousandth of a ring, you were grateful. At least it meant your Nigerian partner still acknowledged your call, right? They might have been out of call credit, right? Then you call right back immediately, only for the phone to ring…ring and ring. You’re in awe. What happened? Did the person drop the phone and run away?
Still yet, your faith in your Nigerian partner will NOT be shaken. You forge on, after YOU are finally able to reassure your Nigerian partner that none of it was his fault. It was just situation; in fact, it could have been your fault for misunderstanding.
On to making the business venture work..

You’re thinking, “How can I make this business work so we can both benefit from it?”
Your Nigerian partner’s thinking, “How can I get this thing for free? How smart can I be?”
The “awoof” mentality of getting something for nothing…or perhaps wanting to cheat you right out of your possession or property.
Or is it the African time? Please save that for a different day- there are stories to tell.
By now, your faith in your Nigerian partner has taken a hit, but you shake your head and pull your shoulders back and shoulder on bruised but persevering. It’s just one of those things.
After a series of misfortunes none of which never seemed to be your Nigerian business partner’s fault, the business venture remains where it started, never having fully left the ground, you finally throw in the towel and admit it to yourself- it was a lost cause.
Sadly, you realize the futility of doing business with the Nigerian Business partner.

The Nigerian Business partner is a mirage.
http://www.tobechistyle.com/2013/01/satire-futility-of-doing-business-with.html