NAiRALAND ooo!!! So that is hpw the whole lots of you deviated from the vagabond topic to MIL. I stated in my post he didn't call me that because unsaid his mum shouldn't go with us to check the land. He called me that cause I refused to tell him his mum has asked to go check the land without the consent. The question here is should a HUSBAND call his wife a vagabond. Besides i dont have any issues woth my mother in law at all. I love her like my mother. Deviating from the topic won't bring the answer. It will only casue more problems btw us. TRULY sometimes nairaland isn't the place to.pour out your mind. They will only nicely compound your issues spicing it up with joy pepper sauce.

You all have spoken well. And yes the story isn't complete. But I didn't bother breaking it down cause I feel there is still no reason whatsoever to annoy you to the point of calling me a vagabond. It killed the love I have for him instantly at that moment. The fact an a wife makes my husband talk to me anyhow. If I made a mistake by calling him back a vagabond (I wouldn't have being able to call him that cause that word is just too heavy) but if I did. He would have called me a disrespectful wife. He is the kind of man who believes you must hold him in high esteem and with all manly respect, don't talk while am talking kind of man, the kind of man who wants you to give him a fatherly kind of respect. The kind of man who wouldnt talk to you for more than a day if you wake up in the morning forgetting to say goodmorning, the kind of man who doesn't believe a woman deserve to be respected, (hubby, if you see this correct me if am wrong) But how do you treat me?. Do i I have issues with his mum. Well that's personal, and i dont but he thinks i do. But was it because I refused to go check out the land with them he called me a vagabond? NO. He called me that because I didn't tell him his mum said she would be going to check out the land with us. I thought it was a decision they both made. So I decided I wasn't gonna interfere, and since it's not.like I have any money of my own yet to acquire a land, let him and his mum who really needs it more than I do go together. However I don't want to be there while she is making land decisions for her other kids. so his annoyance was why did i conclude that he asked his mum to go and check out the land with us and not discuss it with him first. That was what led to the name calling, but shpuld it warrant vagabond, calling me a FOOL almost 10times and topped it with vagabond. I can't deal. Too much for me. Dear hubby, if it happens you eventually find this post. I am not happy I was called that. That am smiling with you is because if i don't let go of grudge it's me that will still suffer but every time I i remember being called a vagabond. All I feel like doing is keeping to myself and not talking to you again you didn't kill my self esteem in anyway cause no man has the right to do that. But you have given me something to live with for a longgg time. No one has ever ever called me the kind of names you use on me many times you are angry not even my strict dad, and my keeping quiet is just because i don want you to call me a disrespectful wife again. Piece of my mind. A man, father and husband should live the life and say the kind of words you would want to hear your daughter's husband's say in future. I respect you and will always do but if I don't let you know how i feel now you will keep calling me names and I don't want. Let's bless each other more while angry than cause. Cause with time it will unconciously be depicted in our ways and we won't remember it was our mouth that caused it.

I don't think some men understands that no matter how angry you are there is power in the tongue and their are some you should never alter or declare on your patner. Correct me if am wrong.

Now this was what happened and I felt i didn't warrant being called that name.

I found out about a cheap land out for sale in lekki. Called hubby to inform him that we should go check it out and might just become land owners. So I think he also discussed it with his mum cause she also planned to buy land for her kids as gift..

So mother in law called me this morning and said she would like to go with us whenever we intend checking the land. I wanted to pour my heart out to my hubby immediately after the conversation but I thought it wasn't the right time.

So later that evening he raised an issue about us going to the land. Then I said i I won't be going since mother in law would be going. I think that got him angry. I tried explaining to him why I won't be going.

To cut the long story short. He started calling me all sort of names. The next word i heard was VAGABOND!!!! In my heart I thought too much. I cried bitterly. It would have hurt if it was just anyone but not the man you are married to who should be the one blessing you. I feel sometimes some men take their power for granted and don't even know the words to refrain from. He repeated this word almost 3times, then it dawned on me he didn't even see anything wrong. So many times he has used other hurtful words and while am trying to make him take back the words or even return the words back to sender am termed as a disrespectful wife. So I thought I seek others opinion.

Are our husbands allowed to use any word on us just because they can and if not this is the medium to let those who doesn't know.

Flyingngel:
Pls i will make this very brief. Since when i got married to my wife i have tried to be helpful in the home front but it seem she want to capitalize on that.

She has been doing these many times and i overlook, yesterday own got me mad which i begin thinking if marrying is bad. I came back frm work and she ask me to help her with our baby which i did; but when she came she now told me that i am going to cook the soup, which i told her it has been long i did that rather she can tell what what do - like preparing the ingredients then she will cook. Pls note i wake up everyday by 5am wash d plate, sweep the house and d outside even wash her cloth anything she can't.
Yesterday she said if i don't cook which i stood my ground, then we are going to sleep empty stomach and that was what she did.
My people pls is there any wrong i have done. I am a faithful husband, i assist her in anyway i can but she alway want me to submit to everything she says.
Pls help me with ur opinion because i am weak.

Modified: to those that says am lying, well it is up to you to believe but i need ur opinion. I seldom post since 2012 i registered officially here.

If u are not married, pls pray to whatever God that u serve to give u a woman that understand and respect u no matter the circumstances.

Your wife is the reason many men don't help their wife's with home chores. He who has a head has no crown and the one with a crown is looking for head. If my hubby helps me with chores I will adore him like a king. However does your wife what you to look outside nìì or why is she misbehaving.

Hubby and i got into a brief convo but had no resolution. You know many don't know until they probably hear other opinions.
My hubby is a zero domestic helping person as in he can't help you with anything chores, it's so not a part of him. I met him that way; he doesn't do dishes, he doesn't do laundry, he doesn't do cleaning. Infact his underwear am now wondrring who washes them when he was single, i fear it was his mum. So When it comes to chores forget my hubby and I knew this before i got married so i made up my mind i would just get a maid to ease my life. And that I did when my second child clocked 1year, I couldn't go on. Cause the first 3years of my life was just me, even while I was preggy for my second son I forced myself to be strong cause I knew it will be left undone if I didn't, or he would ask me to call his mum to come and help me and that I really didn't dig, it as bad as even when one of my kids fell ill and i needed help with the other. the first thing he does is call his mum to come over and take care of our kid. Didn't like all this before but I noticed to get more peace and NO argument I should just concur. Thats hubby weakness; the chores; but his strength he provides EVERYTHING; I mean EVERYTHING, from kids needs to MY own needs to his mum's needs to external relative needs,. He is a very wonderful giver, kind hearted fellow. The financial aspect of the house he handles it WELL; so i make sure i handle him and the house chores too WELL, yes I work; i run a mini creche that is still growing; the monies aren't heavy yet, the monies I make basically go into the creche's bill and just little home miscellaneous. Now hubby's job can also be tedious, he can be on his laptop working from the beginning of the day till 3am the following day And that's like enough reason for me to understand my hubby's zero to helping with chores.
Now recently I haven't had a maid so have been under so much pressure with chores and my business place. Having to clean, cook, take care of the kids, put things in place at my work and many more has not being so easy but am not complaining, am good, but someone is complaining and that's my Hubby, He says I drop my wig(hair) @ the wrong place, and drop my kids towels at the wrong place after giving them both their bath and some other little details.
So I was trying to explain to him tonight that he needs to chill on me, when i had a maid it wasn't like that,however it's not always like this just once a while. but now am so over whelmed, for instance as I returned ffrom work fagged out and tired, on my way back i had branched the market to get stuffs for dinner; as I got home I just dropped my bag on the floor,removed my wig on the chair and went on cooking, while I was cooking the gas finished, I stepped out again with my two sleeping children to get gas only then again i realised I didn't hold my phone to make a transfer, I drove back home again to pick up when phone, just then my second son began to cry of hunger, I quickly fed him; thank goodness while feeding him hubby came to my rescue and went to pick up the gas; so I started doing the dirty dishes we used in the morning, as he returned with the gas i quickly completed my cooking, while hubby was waiting for dinner he observed my wig was on the couch; and I nicely explained to him that i would still clean the living room and have it all cleared once am done. But he didn't understand
But hey guys I said something to him that he disagreed with, I said he could actually be helping me with my wig by just putting it inside the room, help me replace the kids towel;you know if thats all he can hell with to ease my life. And he said " as long as am the one paying all the bills then do all your chores yourself" i agreed with him to a certain extent but I only asked for a little help of removing what my tiredness made me forget instead of complaining soo much.Even God knows once the money starts coming into my business I will make sure I ease him of all the stress, but even if I pay bills too the truth is he isn't a domestic helping person so am sure it's not about the bills I don't pay and am sure he doesn't even have plans on helping me wiv chores not now or in the nearest future. So dear NL is it too much to ask him to at least stop complaining so much about my Little mistakes and just cut me a slack since it's me that will still clean the house after all. My maid isnt going to be available till march so till then i need you all to help me beg hubby to stop complaining, am doing my best and I will keep doing my best but am not too sure i won't forget again and drop my wig on the couch tomorrow or next and I bet once am done with my chores I will fix all the mess i made. Goodmorning y'all