cococandy:


Exactly. Let her tell him she used to have a crush on his cousin or brother. let's see if her 'honesty' will stop him from feeling horrible that she used to fantasize about banging his brother.

People don't use their senses sometimes.

finally someone understands me. dear people, if you are married please don't go about crushing on your patners family, and If it happens you are crushing please don't bother telling her keep it to yourself and pray about it. tell it to Jesus, not your husband/wife.

[quote author=SirAweezy post=48073679]You are obviously jealous and over reacting, hubby was open minded, having a crush on someone doesn't mean... you want to be with that person. Now you have succeeded in making hubby to be mindful of what he says to you. Don't create unnecessary problem in your union. [/quote
I have forgotten this nairaland is a place of sin. they will even encourage a man to commit incest. and not have a problem with it. if a man has a crush on his wife's family, cousin or sister. idont think there is any news for him to tell his wife ooo. he should keep it to himself. okay now that he told me what happened? secondly the ones that he is meant to tell me, the ones that will help him flew from adultery, he doesn't discus that one with me oo, the times he had crushes on women outside our marriage, he doesnt sit me down to share it with me, now he has an illicit crush on my cousin he is sharing that one with me, so that what will happen, i will tell my cousin or what. or so that i will feel less beautiful than my cousin? or what? please kindly tell me how that information is meant to help this marriage grow.

PushPlay:
This story is not true.

I don't think anyone would be so jobless to write an untrue story 2am in the morning

MRBrownJ:
IMHO, any open/honest and comfortable husband or partner should have no problem in revealing such hidden feeling to their spouse. it is all about letting your spouse partner fully know about your desires, fantasies and/or what goes through your partner's mind. wifey should be surprised but not against such honest revelation, as it shows the amount of trust such person has for you, and how they are not afraid to open up and let you in their "secret world".

wifey's reaction to such info was wrong as it is not like anything has/will ever happen between them, and it must just be an ego issue from her part, knowing that he liked someone so closed to her etc. such crush cannot be dictated, and it can be towards just about anyone (yes, even your own family). the important point is how this man dealt with it, and NEVER crossed the lines. thinking that you can control who you find attractive/appealing is a joke.

hubby's reply that it was a joke is "normal" since his honesty brought an argument/negativity to the union... he now understands that, next time, he will keep such info to himself, and wifey can happily pretend that he doesnt have such feelings.

this responsenisnt on My side in anyway. but I kinda really like it. never saw it in that direction. ngbo hubby thanks for telling me about your crush on my relative. mabinu I overreacted please if you have a crush on anyone of my family kindly feel free to tell me ooo. no worry I no go vex again.

So on this peaceful Sunday afternoon while she was jejely doing hubbu's pedicure and manicure, we were jisting about buying intimacy gadgets to boost out sex life as man and wife. due to the fact that we have tried buying some in nigeria and we didn't really like them. So i suggested We get them from the US. but the bonenof contention was whom to ship it home for us. then hubby suggested we used wife's cousin who is based in the US. wifey laughed over it like she wouldn't even want her cousin doing that on her behalf. when hubby spilled out that he used to have a CRUSH on wifey's cousin. To God who made me I was sadly deeply shocked. NB, he has never set his eyes on my cousin, (and I really thank God shez not here )they have only spoke over the phone and then I remember him asking me to show him her picture., and I did. now I know why he asked for it. oh well, I was angry I walked away from him asking wondering what irritating statement that was.
Few hours into the day, I tried to raise up an isue on this matter again cause I really wanted to know why. then he said it was a joke; we both were meant to go for an outing togther on my terms but he didn't seem interested. So he claimed he joked about having a crush on my cousin so i would be discouraged as not to attend the outing again. (the usual unexcusable excuse they give after they have messed up). then he ends his staement by saying am emotionally weak and am jealous wife. Is my reaction jealously, am I over reacting, cause am so mad at him that even his apology is irrelevant . we are all humans at some point in life some men can decide to have a crush on anything,anyone but should it be his wife's cousin, (isnt that expensive a joke)and even if he did do you think it's a good idea to spill it out. am not jealous oo. cause this is my blood not a random person. am here because hubby thinks this is rightly funny. and it's okay for him to joke with stuffs like that. please throw corrections dart here whether to whoever you all think deserves it. myself with my overraection, or my hubby with his "illicit" crushing.

my mother in law does some few things that hurt me and the only person who is my solace on the matters cares less. am thinking is that he is just carefree about emotional issues as that, or he just doesn't want to hurt his mum that he loves so much by telling her the truth on my behalf.
my mother in law comes to our home at least 3 times a week but she doesn't live with us. the first issue i once had with her was she chews food for my babies and i had a slight problem with that, cos due to this one of my kids had bacterial infection in the mouth, so i begged hubby to tell her, he said he couldn't, that she was gonna feel bad, now when i saw she was still doing it i had to find a way to tell her myself.
another issue she had that i expected hubby to help with, she came visiting one day i had some stew in the pot, before i could say jack my mother in law had turned it to egusi soup. i felt bad, she didn't even ask me first. tho the stew wasn't much but it would still have made dinner for two more days. imagine thinking of cooking stew u didnt plan for. i told hubby this again, that please kindly tell mummy to tell me before she does stuffs like tha, its not like i had a right to refuse, never. but at least its my kitchen, funny enough i had egusi soup in the freezer. if only she had asked, he said okay i will. but he didn't. Another case that happened just yesterday, she came to visit as usual, only for me to come back and saw my stew looking upside down. i asked the nanny what happened and she said mama poured raw pepper into my stew and said it was over salted, this is a stew that i didn't even salt but just added meat stock (omi eran) to it. now note mama doesnt eat salt at all, i was furious, i was hurt, i went to hubby again as usual, mummy has poured pepper in my stew, why didnt she just take some from it, or ask the nanny to help her take some then she can do anything she wanted with it or something. he said okay i will discuss with her like he always say. this time i got so mad at him. because i already knew he wasn't going to.
i know wat my dad will say to his mum in a situation like this, i know what my uncles will also say to their mum, and mummy wont be hurt and wifey also have her share of the akara.
few minutes ago, he was telling me how his sister came yesterday and shouted at his daughter, he said he didn't like the manner at which she shouted at d little girl, so i asked him what he did, he said nothing, i said ooh you didn't want her to feel bad? he said no not even that. i didn't ask any further questions,cos na him way, he would prefer us dealing with our hurts than tell the in laws the truth. this lady in question is his elder sister, but she shouts at my kids so much sometimes that i wish he will just say something. not hurtful words, but respectful words that will pass your message and also prove to your kid that daddy got my back.
now here is my question dear people and mot likely husband if you are reading this. could it be because he is the lat bore, or he just not into family and having their back, or the percentage of love he has for us.
am not asking him to hurt mum in law, just asking him to help me let her know that their are actually boundaries in homes and it should be respected. to avoiding hurting the second party. in my opinion. please mum share your takes on this.....

prettyjo:
jux thinking...
why must she always pee each time the dad is in the bathroom.
next time ,just get a bowl or bucket for her to urinate then wash it later.
#na this small small thing dey bring problem for family#

I can just imagine where u live..... gross!!!!

rectitude:



i have giving you the answers you really need on my blog 'fixmeblog' its about dealing with issues such as this. am featuring your question there. i think you should check it out http://www.fixmeblog.com

how do I find d answers on ur blog

I called it hot topic be cos dats wat is hot in my home now and also hurting me.
They live in a one bed room automatically it's a one bathroom, seemingly I av observed hubby likes to lock d bathroom while doing his thing whether bathing or doing d major. Tho I had a problem with Dat but now I careless, now that we av kids i now observed he doesn't like to open d door for his 2year old to pee in her potty once he is in d bathroom . Several occasions this little girl has knocked on d door while her dad is there to pee in her potty, once in a blue moon he opens but majority of the time he doesn't, either she dances due to uncomfortability until he is thru bathing or I take her outside to pee once I realize she has gotten too restless.
Few hours ago same happened, she wanted to pee as usual, and then she started her knocking on d door, after few knocks I observed he didn't respond so I helped her knock, then he said pls go am praying.
I said okay but open d door for the little girl to pee, he said I shouldn't annoy him that am not deaf that he is praying. D door was locked, the two year old little girl whom was trying so hard to control her bowels from peeing on d floor, and then it was dark outside. Please kindly drop ur comments here what will u do MUM? Then i would say what I eventually did.
You know wat I did might av gotten him mad, but in a situation like this, just two of u, u definetly do not need a shrink to sort Dat out for you, but my action to help my baby has gotten him so mad Dat I don't think he even thinks he had done anything wrong, and he kind of hurt his daughter feelings at Dat moment. Because while she was knocking on d bathroom door, I saw d sad look on her face like why won't daddy open d door for me to pee. With her tiny innocent voice she said daddy please I need to pee pee, . Please MUMS kindly drop ur comments on wat u would av done. Then I would judge whether my action was a bad choice. Note we live in a MINI flat with one bathroom oo. GOD BLESS

hi

I live in Maryland Housing Estate and right now am very very mad and upset i have come to observe that almost all the stores especially this store named Medlink in maryland, jesuoyingbo area precisely sells EXPIRED grocery especially coca-cola products either their five alive, sprite, cocacola or fanta.
last Christmas i observed that all the coca-cola we purchased from the stores around Jesuoyingbo where all expired, that period a promo was even going on buy 1 get 1 free. i had a feeling then that it was a conspiracy among workers from the company that probably still allowed those products to get out of the company, or may be not cos when i went back to make a complaint at the store, the worker said the products were just delivered, whereas this products has expired 3 or 4months back.
Today again i purchased a pack of five alive opened it and realized the content was darker than usual, after which i had already had some and also given my 2year old and my 8months old, then i decided to check the expiry date again, i realized the item has expired since 10/02/15.
i for one am an up to date person on checking expiry date of an item before i purchase it but sometimes i forget. Note that not everyone remembers to check the expiry date of an item, not everyone knows how to read, and trust me some has even had probably stomach upset or one health challenge or the other due to expired products but ignorance wont give them a clue. if anything had gone badly wrong isnt it sorry that will end the matter except i want to draw a long case with the court but will it undo the deed..... but thank God nothing went wrong, but will someone else somewhere else be lucky. way back in secondary school i was lost a classmate who ate expired milk.
As for this store, once am able to lay my hands on nafdac contact, i am ready to put a call thru to them to put this store on check before they waste innocent lives with their carefree, cos i believe the priority of any grocery store should be clearing of expired product from the store, but their greed no go gree them.
please no matter how busy we are lets take time to check grocery before we purchase from any store. No matter how Porsche it looks. That person next to you might never be so lucky.

Thank u all!!!

[quote author=tbaba1234 post=30018513]Hmmm... your husband probably said that as a joke, you took offence and failed to communicate with him. Ladies are just complex creatures.[/quote
Am not as complex as him funny enough. He for one complex pass me. Its just that I would take a little offence if my husband molests me on a matter I dont expect. Especially matters of my body changes that was probably caused due to bearing his children or breastfeeding his children. No man is allowed to mock a woman based on that. It wont be fair

Its my first time on nairaland, dont like ere much but am here because of how I feel now. Its not like I eat much but there are some certain foods wen I eat I eat it well. Now my appetiete seems to be increasing, I dont know Its because am a breastfeeding mum, my son feeds alot,once I breastfeed him eventhough I just ate I immediately feel hungry again. I dont know if its me or there mums with such change in their diet due to breastfeeding. Please share with me, may be it will stip my husband from making my life miserable.
Yesterday I bought myself a loaf of bread, I ate a quater of it, my husband didnt seem interested but wen he saw me eating I think he got interested. HE said I should serve him some and I said d rest wont satisfy him so I offered to make him something else. Thats how I became his huge topic. He lamented and lamented and ended it saying ,"you eat like a thief" and also said my tommy has grown bigger due to too much eating. If I had my way i would post a photo of me , I am sexy and fit as a lady who has never had kids, men still make passes at me so sorry to say that, and even women walk up to me and admire my shape, am not saying I av a totally flat tommy, but after two kids still looking this way then I tried. Those words hurt me so much that I went into d kitchen and cried. I felt really bad, you know it gets to a point where u just feel its not necessary to tell him how u feel about something he just said or did. So I just moved on acting strong. But I tell u since then I dont eat around him, even if I will eat in d same plate with him I would just take 2_ 3 spoons and leave. And am almost having Inferiority complex like am nt good enough or appealing to him. I am beautiful in my own way but I dont know if he still sees me that way.
I want hear breastfeeding mums lifestyle to diet. So I can compare to mine to know whete and how to fix me. Cos I know my appetite wasnt this bad, I had d appetite quiet alright but not this much. Please mums share ur opinions with me.