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Hello everyone,
Pls how do one start grass cutter farming. If u are into it or have knowledge, do let me knw

zomby:
If you don't carry yourself well, none of these girls wants to give you a chance. Therefore, the issue is more than how you carry yourself...

95% of Nigerian girls are directly or indirectly materialistic...Even when they have a lot they still want more. And this can be blamed on our society, up bringing and poverty level in the country. I'm not sure if there is anything one can do about this state of mind...Even my gate man has the same issue with Nigerian girls (which means this materialistic state of mind is at every level). I will advise you to simply try ladies from another countries...

And FYI: Nigerian guys too are starting to be materialistic...They are quick to propose to marry those of you that are from a wealthy family or American citizens.

marry from another country, guy u no be better person. Who will now marry us? Take time oooo, no come spoil our own.

Saying Female in Nigeria member did not add up. Why putting the FIN there, this is individual thing oo. If u had said Woman nags husband to death, it will be OK. Proudly FIN. FIN did not send anyone message. Be properly guided. Mbok

Mr Adam may God give u the heart to forgive but all I knw is dat things will never be the same again. My ex sexcapades were so much that I left for good with my girls, we settled later but my people to trust again became a problem, every word, every step he took is under suspicion. I prayed for God to give me the heart as I was recovering , another hit followed, my dear I had to dust my shoe and shared the grace with him. To build trust takes time but it takes a second to kill it. I wish u find happiness and understanding in ur marriage but no go die of marriage oo. Life no get duplicate. Man die go, woman nd children go live.

adviserseeker:
Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. I have ( if I am honest ) given up on things ever changing. I was point blank told she was forced into the marriage - coming from a woman who I held talks with 1 full year before we got married.

I can remember January 1 2015 6 days after I had forced her to do a genotype test ( I wonder what AS man will force a lady to do a genotype test if they were not going to marry them ) held a serious long discussion with her. Asking her repeatedly ( I had to ask repeatedly because I had gone through somethings relationship wise which I do not want to go through when married - including losing someone I was to get married to 3 days before I engage her ) if she is ready to get into marriage of which all the answers were in the affirmative.

I also remember before we got the result of the genotype test we were bother very tensed yet she said I forced all because she got pregnant while we were planning our wedding - I planned for August but end up getting married 6 months earlier as she got pregnant along the line.

When I decided she was the one for me, I spoke to a mother figure of mine who has been married for over 28 years and she guided me properly and our wedding was only brought forward because of the pregnancy, it was not as if it was as a result of the pregnancy. Now she says she was not ready for it. Yet monitors my phone to see if I am seeing someone else.

I honestly do not know what else to try. She also complained that she wants to work. I have decided to provide 2m naira for her to start something and if not enough will add to it but I am 100% sure she would not change. If things are this bad when she is not working, it will only become worst. Which sadly means my greatest wish will never be fulfilled.

She has resort to one blackmail to the other and each time I burst it and ask questions she fails to come up with any tangible answer order than coming up with another blackmailing tactics.

I already within me give up on her. Will just take solace in having my wonderful daughter.

its a pity that some people did not know why they have until they lose it. Make urself happy always cos no one can make u. Take care of ur child and her still but I must say don't kill urself cos of marriage ooo. Talking from experience. Wish u luck.

Aquariann:


It's usually not abominable or forbidden until our brothers, sons, cousins are the ones in the Op's shoes.

Op, learning from experience doesn't have to be personal. You learn from the experiences of others too. From the little info you've shared, she's bad business. Flee while you still can.

Why is she a bad business? Cos she has kids or past mistakes? U talk abt experience , what abt those that married single mum and they ended up happy, is that not an experience? Is only the op that knows her, all am saying that u can find love anywhere. Thanks for quoting me shaa

alignacademy:


Seems your mind is already made up.

So why EXACTLY are you asking for advice?

destinel:


I know almost virtually everything about her, there are some of her life experience she shared, although quite unbelievable but I see it as a past.
She's entirely a different person now.

this harsh jorr.

Is only in this country that we condemn single mother thing, if this guy loves this woman let him his heart. Why all this question abt the father of the kids , so if he is irresponsible she shud die there?
Wht if its the guy that has kids, no one will complain. Pls poster follow ur heart and if u have the means to help train those kids, do so. Some re fathers by donating sperm only while some can be a real father that nurtures, cares. Wish u luck.

martyns303:
This is going to be long, I hope you endure to the end.

I know what I am about to say will be controversial and not "politically correct", mostly for the feminist and others. I expect a lot of backlash, abuse and calling of names, it is a burden I am willing to take on.

I expect everybody to come here and call this man names, he's an animal, a coward (I agree on this), woman beater and all sort just to be accepted. But I have decided to share a different opinion.

First, people don't just go about attacking other people, not a woman you are married to, not the mother of your children, even mad people don't frequently attack people at random.

The thing is everybody have a breaking point, no matter how much you try to endure and try to be the better person, there comes that point you just can't take it.

Have I hit a woman b4? Yes, twice. It is not something I am proud of, I feel ashamed of myself afterwards. Now I have had my fair share of relationships but one stands out and I pray no man finds himself with a woman like that. This girl's words are venom, she rain abuses at the slightest provocation. If anyone knows me outside NL will know that I am extremely quite, an introvert and avoids confrontation at all cost.

If we agree to meet somewhere and she gets there before, am dead. No matter the reason, she will call me and start abusing me, in fact if you are to hear her, you will call me a fool for staying with that kind of person. But she is not always like that, when she's not angry, she's one of the nicest person ever. Well educated and from a decent home so there's no indication that she will be like that.

The first time I hit her, we went to buy something together at the market. We ended up having a different opinion about an item and that was when she got angry, she started abusing me right there in public. It was as if the ground should open and swallow me, I was so embarrassed I decided to leave and go home. When she got back, she started yelling at me for leaving her behind at the market and the abuses begin. At that point I lost it, already am fuming from the market incident and now this, she has said worst things to me before and I simply walk away but this time I don't know what happened and I slapped her. Of course I apologized and begged and we got back to being normal, I noticed the abuses even stopped for sometime.

Now I don't want to mention what happened the second time, because not even a pope would have been able to handle the situation. At that point I ended the relationship.

Am i going to mention the times she gets angry and begin to damage my properties? Anything she gets her hands on she will destroy it. We all heard about Tonto Dikeh damaging properties worth millions of Churchill's.

The ultimate question is, why didn't I just leave the relationship, answer is, beside her bad moments she's a nice person. Plus I had to endure to keep up the relationship. Now it would be even more difficult for married people.

I am no way encouraging physical abuses by men, but before you crucify the man, have you considered what the man has been through?

No man should raise his hands on a woman, however we shouldn't be quick to throw the men under the bus either. This man is languishing in prison, some of us wouldn't have been able to walk half a mile in his shoes.

May God give us all compatible partners.

I understand wht u re saying but its d best to leave the relationship than trying to change or endure abuse. I wish them well. When my ex hubby slapped me one day, I was pregnant then with our first child. I personally called family meeting oo, telling them that they should warn him, that if such repeats itself that I will retaliate in a very bad way. My papa and my brothers has never raised their hands on me let alone him, I told him that wht beating does to me is to make me more stubborn. Since then he stopped. All am saying is that if abuse step in both physical and verbal abuse, I will just share the grace with the person.

chronique:
No;nothing inappropriate in that. Being a driver doesn't make him less of a human being. I think we need to evaluate how we relate with people around us and give them a sense of belonging. Don't always treat people like they are condemned to be below you. I relate and joke around with my cleaner and mechanic and if not for the way they address me,you wouldn't know they work for me. Each time I use uber, I don't relate with the drivers like they are "drivers" except when the person is rude. I've even had to tell a driver to come down and allow me drive to navigate past a place he couldn't drive through, and I drove him without hassles. Being a driver doesn't make them not to have feelings and emotions like every other person. It doesn't mean they are condemned to a particular status. You might not fancy his advances but that doesn't make his text message wrong. He's just being human. Let's stop acting like we just woke up one day and got to the level we find ourselves in. Yes, some of us were born with silver spoon but that isn't a license to automatically downgrade anybody.

pls tell her oo,, everyone is important. Keep being good bro.