elisha820: Happy new week everyone. I decided to bring this up on this platform cos I want candid and lucid advice. I be brief on this.
I am a Pharmacist working with one of the government owned health care centre. There's this girl I've been with for more than 2years now. She is a law student in her penultimate year in university. Like most Nigerian relationships, we started with lot of distractions and lacked commitment but over time it remained just the two of us.
At the beginning of this year 2021 we made relationship goals and decided to be transparent to each other. We shared every secrets, went through each others phone and asked questions where necessary. All went well until last month when I went to check on her in the university, asked for her phone as usual wanted checking her whatsapp. She didn't let me, said till she comes for weekend when we'll have good time for that. I was surprised, had my doubts but let it slide. She later came for the weekend, I acted as if I don't care anymore and that was it.
Similar event happened last night after she went through my phone (whatsapp, facebook, twitter etc) cos she has my password but I don't have hers. I unexpectedly asked for her phone too, she said it's late and we should leave it till am back from weekend call later in the evening. I kept my cool last night but was bent on seeing her chat this morning not until she bursted into tears. I ain't perfect, have my flaws but I am free spirited whenever I am around her. It normal for a lady to have lots of guys in her dm, but I think it's a problem when it becomes secretive to your partner.
Should I play along, start having secrets too or what's your thought guys.
NB: I skipped so many things, decided being straight to the point.
Lalasticla...I remain loyal, hoping you'll do the needful
........funny thing is, u know that 90 percent of the opinion here will suggest she is either cheating on u already or about to and that's why she is hiding the chats from u....u know this but yet u don't want to accept it....u want us to be the one to tell u........ok bros, u want to know what she's hiding ? she is undergoing deliverance from her pastor and she don't want u to get delivered too.......hope we are ok now ? happy Easter sir
...no yawa bros...i no be regular church goer o but make i pray for u....that dream, whatever it is will turn to good for u in reality.....as far as u and ur woman have decided to do the right thing by getting married, na good news go end am...all the blessings of holy matrimony shall be ur portion....happy married life bro
LMS1: lol op the kind of comments you will get down there from nairaland religion warlords will make you sleep one eyed closed tonight. aswear Truth is that scientifically dreams are basically human mind inventing its own thoughts when the host is asleep. secondly dont spend your life believing in false prophecies cus your mind and life will be totally controlled by what you you hear and believe. I know you are religious but most so called PRIEST practices the bible doctrine in a different way thus injecting 5million cubic meter of fear into your soul there is nothing wrong with your wife to be, all the fault is in the religion you practice. stop letting someone else dream put you in 'THINKINGNATION' #Emanticipate yourself from mental slavery oh africans!..
......baba pray to God and leave the rest....let nature take its course......if u be a child of God, nothing shall happen to you...God reveals to redeem....pray nd go on with ur wedding...another thing u should consider is, maybe someone is trying to discourage either of u to ho on with the marriage...if u both love each other, go to God as a couple and pray and move on with ur wedding......i nor know ur place i for come chop party jollof....nothing sweet reach am!
Obaseki500: I have never been this confused in my entire life...
I have a girlfriend that we have been dating for 6 years now... We are not married because I was not stable financially but now things seems to be much better and next year should be the year....I reside in Ibadan so she came in last year after her education to get a job, she's a nurse and we were staying together up till now.
Sex has never been an issue between us up until December last year. We sleep on the same bed and we live in the same house but we have not had sex since December 2020 till date. She's right beside me as I type this message. Each time I go close to her, she tells me I am not entitled to sex because I have not paid her bride price. I just could not understand the sudden change in her attitude towards sex when wedding is next year.
She also locks her phone and even WhatsApp. Now, I am beginning to have doubt about marrying her.
...bros i no understand u self.....u nevr pay bride prize and u wan dey lay claims to her punny and her phone ? baba even if she is cheating (which is bad) , u no get right over her punny simply because she is living with u....if u want that right, do the right thing since things are now more stable with u....marry her and if she isnt ready to get married, do away with her and look for someone who is......she may be getting sexual satisfaction outside or maybe she has realized that cohabiting with a man u are not married to is wrong and decided to stop all form of sexual immoralities till she is married so she doesnt get pregnant outta wedlock ( that is if una never do abortion before)......as for her phone, she may not actually be hiding anytin serious.....maybe just advise from friends which may hurt u if u see them or maybe she is actually cheating...there are a lot of possibilities which u wil NEVER know until u make serious attempts to do the right thing because from the way i see u, u just wan dey lamba the babe till next year wen u go marry......bros if na ur daughter u go advise her make she open leg for man for a whole year before she marry am ? ...do the right thing bro.......
In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”
I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.
One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?
I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.
All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”
She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine.
The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.”
We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?” He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”
My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”
Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”
I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property y…her father’s name.”
I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions.
*What's your take?*
.....who knows, when she has built her life and reduced urs, she will look for one silly excuse to seek a divorce and live free the way she wants.......maybe marry a younger man (who we dont even quite know if she is seeing yet).......the devil is a saint compared to some women...a woman that can hide buildings and salary and properties for years without her husband's knowledge will one day do the unthinkable.....what am i even thinking self....some women are scum!....but sir, marriage is for better for worse......u don enter be say u don enter.....manage am like that but sleep with one of ur eyes open so u dont get caught unaware wen she makes some moves u may never recover from!
...............one would see Nigeria as a country that is working when they see someone getting sentenced to death for stealing a mobile phone .......where as , top government officials, yahoo boys and company CEO'S steal billions daily, get a small sentence or fine and get away with it....even armed bandits and kidnappers are set free after settlement ....i am sure these guys got the death penalty because they could not raise the money they were asked for....i am by no chance justifying stealing in any form or magnitude but if someone who stole a phone can be sentenced to death by hanging, then government officials ,yahoo boys, kidnappers, cultists and armed robbers should be sentenced to death by chemical injection, hanging , firing squad and any form of death available......let nobody deceive u, with events like this, Nigeria will NEVER work!
Switchman: Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out
This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.
I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.
We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.
Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.
I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.
Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.
It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.
It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.
I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.
I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.
Thanks Switchman
...............lol, bros na wa for u sha...u dey woman house, u no get job and na the woman dey run the house basically and u expect make she dey do house chores join am ? and i sure say u dey lamba her steady self ......bros if i were u, i will be loyal.......if u dont like washing plates, hustle more so u can get a job and be leaving the house, but until then, support her in anyway u can and that includes washing plates and doing the house chores while she provides for the house...table can turn wen u get a well paying job.....i dont see any wrong the woman has done here apart from the fact where u stated she insults u and i believe u aint a saint urself....na something dey lead to the insult.......if u no like the chores, dey use ur vehicle dey go hustle before u get decent job and if u feel ur pride and ego wpnt let u cope with the situation, relocate back to lagos!
Congratulations though but very Funny..... You can't find their technicians to repair their products If your Apple device spoil....then you are on your own If you like carry it from Lagos to Abuja.... nobody can repair it..... especially their laptops..
Na so I use macbook air...as he spoil....I nor see who fit repair am....carry am go lagos and abuja...nothing....them even spoil am the more....I just gave up and bought a new MacBook pro
Ogbeni i know what am saying....I am a die hard fan and customer of apple...am using a MacBook pro now...I just pray make he nor spoil
...bros make them blow ur boy small thing for chop na...even if na 2k, boys no mind
Recall that Mike Davids, a former pastor of Omega Fire Ministries, claimed the General Overseer of Omega Fire Ministries, Apostle Johnson Suleman, slept with his wife and threatened to make him "disappear".
Mike Davids also threatened to expose the "truth" behind the Stephanie Otobo sex scandal and how Apostle Suleman got Otobo to apologize over sex scandal.
Following through on one of his threats, Mike Davids released an audio where Apostle Suleman was heard threatening someone, an audio Apostle Suleman apologized for but said was doctored.
...................the truth go come out one day........
.....see nations fighting over development and see 2 foolish people fighting over street name.....but sha , why e be say anywhere Muslims dey , them wan try dominate the area ? u see Hausa quarters in almost every nook and cranny of the nation but i have never heard of Yoruba quarters or Igbo quarters or ijaw quarters ....anywhere Muslims go, them wan dominate am...no be our fault say una dey reproduce like native chickens.......if other tribes fold their hands and watch, all these Muslims will turn Nigeria into a zombie land........u cant come into an area and attempt to dominate it with religion.........the elders are wise as them rename an on a neutral ground but from all indications it seems the Muslims in the area are still out for blood with thos silly stamps ...my best guess is that, its a mark for potential blood thirsty Muslims to know where to attack and where not to.....crafty zombies! ....they claim Islam is a religion of peace but look around the world today, most of the regions destroyed by violence are dominated by Muslims.....so how is Islam a religion of peace ? Northern Nigeria, dominated by Muslims, see blood everywhere.....see Iraq, see Iran, see Libya, see Afghanistan...Just name one place on earth where there are Muslims and u wont see a trace of violence .......
In as much as we buy tight jeans, we expect it to be less tight on us when we lose weight, but this is not the case of Moyo Lawal. Moyo Lawal is a Nigerian nollywood actress whose fashion sense is way out of this world. From the look of things, she likes rocking beautiful Jean outfits
This morning, she shared pictures of herself in a very lovely Jean outfit, where she made it known to her fans that it took her 20 mins to wear the jeans despite losing weight. This is funny right?
Decallionaire: A Twitter user identified as Sean Kessie on Wednesday revealed a conversation between some ladies who alleged that their female friend was having a secret affair with her boyfriend's flatmate. The boyfriend is said to be working in a popular bank in Marian area of Calabar.
Here are screenshots of the viral tweet. What do you make of this?
....if na guy dey cheat now, the stupid feminists for don come out with guns and sword to sentence am to death....see a stupid girl now cheating on a good man with a his stupid flat mates, nobody will see what's wrong about it...stupid country all the way
southniyikaye: 3 THINGS IS INVOLVED 1)IT IS EITHER SHE IS CLOUT CHASING 2)SHE MIGHT HAVE JUST STARTED HER OWN SKIT 3)SHE IS DESPERATELY SERIOUS.. IF SHE IS DESPERATELY SERIOUS, ONE THING IS INVOLVED. 1)SHE MIGHT DEFINITELY BE A WIFE MATERIAL
....lemme understand u sir, from the last point u made, as she dey look for job like this with this method, there is a possibility she is a wife material ?
emmanuel596: They always look hungry, dirty and skinny
...... exactly how they should look like na......u expect them to fresh before ? if them fresh how them wan take scare rivals and victims knowing alot of them are phone thieves, kidnappers and armed robbers .......
That's the Reason we Hammer on the very vital need for Preparation for Eternity.
Death has no respect or regard to class, Beauty, age or whatever. Preparation is Key! The Only way to be Prepared is to Completely come into a Genuie relationship with JESUS Christ..
....i would like to speak with u please, could u please drop your whatsapp number ?
triple996: most beautiful cities in northern Nigeria:
the north is a very beautiful place to be even though shekau and ko are trying to give it a bad name.the media is also trying hard to give it a bad name,funny enough those who go to the north will see that it is completely different from what they were told that been said here are the best cities in Northern Nigeria.
-kaduna Kaduna is the state capital of Kaduna State in north-western nigeria, on the kaduna is the state capital of Kaduna state in north-western Nigeria, on the Kaduna River. It is a trade centre and a major transportation hub for the surrounding agricultural areas, with its rail and road junction. The population of Kaduna was at 760,084 as of the 2006 Nigerian census Kaduna has a lot of cities within it of which include the following: Kaduna metropolitan Zaria Kafanchan Birnin gwari Zankoa Saminaka etc Kaduna is the industrial powerhouse of northern Nigeria and slight behind Lagos , portharcout and ogun. here are some beautiful pictures of croc city
...it doesnt matter how beautiful a woman ...if she doesn't have character, she will always be seen as a bad woman....the north is not safe to stay for now with all the negative news we see daily about insurgency here and there........people will rather stay in places that are safe and not beautiful than a beautiful place where the safety of their lives and properties are not guaranteed
Lol your analysis might be true and wrong at the same time.
It's very hard to say the salary came before the pre set date of her payment. He mum must have been aware when she collect her salary. The unusually process need to be investigated by the mum before collecting it .
...and what if her mum asked and her daughter lied ? as bad as what she did is, i still applaud the fact that she gave her mum out of the money...it goes a long way to tell u that even though stealing is bad, in a country like Nigeria, alot of people steal because they dont have and not because they want to add to what they have .....like i stated, its wrong to steal and notin justifies it !
IamHeWrites: Lilian Afegbai has called out Nigerians who judge others when they become successful and speculate on how they made their money, Igbere TV reports.
If the girl is saying the truth then her mom acts foolishly. she can't ask her daughter where she got the money she just collect.
Phone?? Imagine how in patience and lack of contentment has landed this one in gbese?
Phone she will be posting slay mama or calling of her lazy agbero boyfriend? By the time madam finish dealing with her she will use another phone to see her news on the internet.
Godliness and contentment is a great gain.
i guess u didn't understand the part of the post where they stated that she stole her MADAM'S ATM ...if could be that she told her mum salary came early or her madam gifted it to her..........before u abuse people next time, read to understand!
tyup: 80year plus old man suppose dey house dey chill not merrying round on a farm
...most of them go to farm to stay strong and healthy...its what their systems is used to and no amount of money will make them agree to JUST leave the practice
Ottyn01: I respect this woman Alot, Visionary Woman!!!
She's one of the Heroes we have in Nigeria
Sunday Igboho Aisha Yesufu Nnamdi Kanu
This people i mention are heroes of our time, They speak against the Bad leadership, without the fear of Government, They fight for their people at all cost!!! They are people that should be protected and not be forgotten!!!!!
...........u made sense until u mentioned KANU as a Nigerian Hero...the only Heroic thing he's done is putting the herdsmen where they belong and that's because others have come out before him to stop the menace ....that aside, all he's ever done is use cheap tactics to seek relevance in Naija!
Romance / Re: Trust Issues, Should I Continue The Relationship? by Wilespo: 2:20pm On Apr 04, 2021 
