Based on what I understand, the US is not like the Uk or Canada when it comes to students settlement. What I mean is dependants (spouse or children) are not allowed to work. Even students, there are constraints around it. The major plus for the US is probably that there is more funding unlike UK.
That’s why you’ll see married people opt more for UK for instance so their spouse can work full time.
so many times, US applicants encourage and guide their intending spouse or spouse to enter via the student route too.
I’m not sure what the dynamics of your relationship are, but if you both were united and really wanted and are eager to get married, you could have made your research and pick what’s best for you but since you guys didn’t do that from the go, it’s difficult to say the lady should give up on a funded masters in the US and marry to go somewhere else together.
If it was the guy too, would that be the case?

okeke6969:


Leave all this your argument and follow the information I gave you. After all, you requested for help. You people sef.

You can be polite while offering the information you know..

Someone has spoken extensively to it. The best would have been to have gotten married before she left so you could apply as a dependant.
However, it should still be possible for her to come back and do legal marriage (as you'd need your certificate to apply for a dependant visa) but that would be feasible if she is not far deep into her studies yet such that her visa will soon expire and she would need to apply for a post study work visa. If she is already on post study work visa or closer to applying, I doubt the possibility of you being granted a dependant visa because as at last year, one's dependant(s ) is required be in the UK before your application for a post study work visa. Since you have someone of reputable character whom you have already purposed in your mind to get married to, it is advisable to come as couple especially since you haven't got kids yet. You can work full time and its generally more convenient I believe. Hence, I really wouldn't advice coming on your own student visa except there's no way around it. Loads of information exist online hence please do appropriate research so you can make informed decision.
Worthy of mention is the fact that if you've got a fulfilling professional job/career, think about the move more carefully because you may have to switch and take "random jobs" first.

Eriokanmi:
In most countries outside, bankers don't even have time to sit. You stand from morning till you're closed for the day. Dereliction of duty is so common in Nigeria. Nothing like dignity in labour here.

Go to Alausa Secretariat and other government institutions. If 9:30am never nack, dem no dey resume work and when they finally resume, as shoe sellers are entering, bag sellers would be exiting their offices, then gossiping till they call it a day. We need to get things right from next year onwards or we remain in same position

Definitely not developed countries right?

There’s no part where you talked about the sacrifices you are willing to make for your family too. Your story comes off as you are not willing to shift ground at all which may not be the best.
She’s got a govt job that gives her some form of security hence it’s not advisable to just quit without another potential offer.

If she’s still the one that comes back, cook, clean and take care of the home, it only makes sense to stay close to her place of work while you make the transport sacrifice. Compromise is a common part of marriage.

If it’s a short term plan, it’s ok though not the best to stay in different places with an arrangement for visitations but you need to have in view how long such would last.

However, trust is a core part of marriage and you both need to be able to trust each other if such arrangement must work.

Gracias

My thoughts are with the bankers ehn particularly frontline officers.
This implies they only get Sunday off for rest.
Banking that is ordinarily a stressful work in Nigeria before.
Are there no labour protection laws in Nigeria ni? Oga ooo...

I was coming from Winners Chapel, Ota on a Sunday with my boyfriend and we were heading to Yaba Lagos. I got down at Oshodi to get a connecting bus. I knew my period had started but I assumed I would make it home before it becomes so much. I also wore a white skirt.LOL..
As we were walking in Oshodi, one man kept calling Aunty, Aunty, I looked back and started walking faster cos I was scared as I didnt know him and you have to open your eyes wide in that Oshodi.
He later stopped calling and walked past my side and told me that my skirt was stained, I felt really embarrassed. My boyfriend gave me his backpack to cover it and we entered another bus.
As I was getting down at Yaba, one woman in the bus too started shouting Sister Sister, I just didnt answer cos I knew what she wanted to say and didnt want the whole bus to know but this woman was hell bent on embarrassing herself and not me..LOL.. The whole bus sha knew las las and I headed home.

blinking001:
Women supporting women lol. A species of the human race whose only contribution to humanity is centred around sex and self gratification. Women are like cancers to humanity.

You are really bitter. I pray you find healing.

lailo:
This guy is too young for this old woman

You are VERY foolish

Sound like Mikano, if so, run ooo....

It's a pity but that's the way most roadside vendors do. They use traditional methods and quite unstructured in their approach. In some cases, you would spend the first few months running errands.
If it were fashion design for instance, I would suggest you first go to a fashion design school and you can then go to a roadside to learn more. Otherwise, you would spend 6 months not knowing how to sew iro and buba.

More importantly, there is a vast amount of resources on the internet today, nobody can hoard knowledge again.

Back in those days when I decided to learn sewing before going for NYSC, I registered with a woman who runs a typical traditional shop. Long story short, the girls I met there wanted to show me seniority. They believe the newest in the shop should do everything including running their personal errands but NO, I wasnt having it. I would just decline and say no more. Hence, there was no physical fight or messy drama. The downside is they wont teach you nada but I didn't bother. I gathered my mum's old clothes, dismantled them and sewed them back and then went on youtube and I paid close attention when they are working in my presence.
My skill improved so much that I was sewing with techniques they didnt understand but were too proud to ask until my boss told me one day that she's been trying to breakdown how I put together a dress I wore on that day. They all were quiet.

In summary, don't rely on your boss solely if all you've got is a traditional vendor. Buy/Download books on paid and free websites, check youtube (it helps if you know technical terms so you know what to type and get good videos), invest in personal knowledge and you would be amazed at your growth and skill development.

StormpyBee:
Marriage is not all about sex and food. You have to bring something to the table.

I am the table

Omihanifa:
All these children of the rich sef
What's the big deal in completing thesis in a UK University? Maybe she's actually referring to her fellow rich men children sha.

Some of us here went through hell during our BSC and MSC here in Nigeria and we still no cry.

Asides the better facilities in place, bagging MSc in the UK is mentally demanding. One of the most difficult things I’ve done as well. It’s a big deal especially for a school like Oxford. Schools and courses definitely play a role. The schools with much lower ranks (cheaper, smaller and mostly used for japa technique) may be a little bit easier but overall, MSc in the UK is an herculean task. The 1 year is not necessarily the best, maybe 18 months would be easier on students. Anyways, I made it through God and my support system.

This your brother is an adult fah asides being a husband and father oo..
You're lucky he still has huge reverence for you else he would have beaten you black and blue and you wont be here typing rubbish.
You owe him an apology, respect is a two-way thing and you have disrespected him.
I hope the wife and kid forgive you in their heart sha.. The wife sef deserve a gold medal. Watching you beat her husband without a word.

I suggest she finds a way to go and write the KPMG test.. call in sick on the day or think of something to tell GTB..
If I were to advise her though, stanbic pays graduate trainees way higher than GTB and others. Also, graduate trainees in stanbic start off as assitant banking officers (ABO) and all things being equal are promoted to the BO (banking officer) grade after 2 years regardless of your unit, also, most placements are in Lagos. On the other hand, except GT has changed their modus operandi, they could post you outside lagos which might limit career growth in a way. Also, they enter from a lower grade ETs (executive trainees) and might not be promoted for years as it comes mostly from your team where many people have been there sef without promotion for years. I don't know so much about Meristem but given their line of business, she's likely to have a better career path relative to banks.
Summarily, bank jobs may not give you a well-defined career path so to speak especially when you are not sure of your placement as a graduate trainee. An institution such as KPMG offers you that opportunity to have a career path hence its easy to develop expertise, create a niche for yourself and be better placed to change jobs in the future. Banking on the other hand can limit you in terms of the ability to change jobs and industry. More importantly is the international recognition, for instance, there is now a new wave of people in the big 4s (KPMG, PWC, EY and Deloitte) taking on roles in other countries like UK and Ireland.
Please advise her to think beyond now or speak with someone who knows better in the field. some decisions are very crucial and years down the line, she doesnt want to look back and wish her choice was differnet. similarly, i know someone who was offered nursing but chose biochemistry because according to him/her nurses are "slaves to doctor", an uninformed ideology which could have been avoided if he/she had good mentorship. However, the same person is back in nursing school after finishing biochemistry.
If she must pick banking, stanbic is better please.

Skyview01:
My nephew sent me similar message and I blocked him. Your parents are responsible for you.

you have done well my brother/sister..

Owootori:

Thank you for your input. If you are to put a figure, how much do you think will suffice?. I'm not including cost of rent in the estimation, just feeding and normal running expenses.
Once again thank you for your response.

I wish I can get more responses form others.

hello, its been years I left Osogbo although I've got family there. Hence, I may not able to give first-hand information.

Kind regards

While things might be a bit more expensive now, living costs will still most likely be way lower than many other towns and cities.
I grew up there and I must say that its a lovely town, I heard transport is no longer as cheap relative to past years. Houses are not expensive too.

This post shouldn’t be taken serious.
It takes two to work on a marriage.
Submission is not the same as not interrupting him when speaking.. that’s a communication etiquette. Submission also doesn’t mean you should not have an opinion or never disagree with your husband ( not in a rude way though)..
Also, respect is a mutual.

The benefits are numerous. Sometimes, you don’t know you’re missing on something until you experience it and you keep asking yourself why you waited too much before getting it.
Marriage with the right person and with Christ at the centre is everything beautiful.
Having someone you call home (not house) in it’s true sense is great. Having someone you enjoy your life with and to whom you can be vulnerable is tremendous. I could go on and on, marriage is beautiful. It is true companionship, it is commitment, it is work, it is learning and unlearning, it is selflessness, it is giving and receiving, it is many things!!.. It does have its challenges like any other thing, but with great communication and conflict management skills, you can make the best of it. Until, you experience it WITH THE RIGHT PERSON with family values too, you may never truly know how it is different from a baby’s-mama/girlfriend relationship.
And to ladies too: stop sharing some “marital benefits” outside marriage… lol..

Iyaebe:
Hmm maybe you are not strong enough to satisfy her because I don’t know how 2 to 3 times a week is too much. I’m against premarital sex sha but when I start having sex I won’t let any day waste.So if you can’t handle her,please let her go and don’t you call her names

talk is cheap my brother/sister�.. marry first and let’s see�… I come in peace

BigBashiru:


It's not jealousy it's entitlement. I'm free to be with whoever I want even after marriage

please don’t get married with this mindset. Marriage is commitment.

[quote author=Onyeziokwu post=110439194]

Not the same thing actually.
Lectures are still ongoing and the semester keeps running. Again, joining for lecturers is optional in which case, many don’t.
In summary, the calendar is still the same so the impact is minimised.
Cheers

4reala:
When she marries now wouldn't stop her from achieving her goal.
If she is really in love with you, Tell her you can only wait a year for her to finish her university program, while u start arranging a side chick, so that after that 1 year, she is still not ready, then tie the knot with your side chick.

worst advice of the year�

Could work if both parties are not extremists and are very open minded I.e not “very” devoted people who take religion lightly…else na “yawa” be that. I’ll strongly advise against it though.

I love this. Thanks for sharing

There’ll be friction in such a relationship..especially marriage..

Yours is even 2 months, ours was almost 6 months. It could be vaginimus such that the penetration is almost impossible. What helped me was first pelvic floor exercise, (learning to control how to relax my pelvic), second and really helpful was the DILATOR therapy. I started from the smallest to get the vagina used to having something enter and then proceeded to the biggest after which hubby could penetrate. I’m not sure you can get one easily in Nigeria but check out SexwithDrM (I think she changed to “becomingmorewithDrM) on Instagram or Oloricoitus on Instagram or any other sex therapist who could help her..please be patient with her. I’m sure she’s not faking it. I’ve been there. It’s just that awareness around that isn’t much in Nigeria, the media mostly portrays magical sex but it’s not always the reality especially for virgins. Sex is a skill too , she’ll get better with time and you’ll be amazed..

For one, God's standard hasn't changed regardless of what is widely accepted nowadays.. That being said, you still have a choice.. But abstinence is doable if you have settled it in your mind.. One helpful way of looking at it is to see it as an act of worship/reverence to God according to His word/...Second is to protect your interest especially as a lady.. Everybody is first self-interested hence protect your interest.. But this is more feasible if you have some self esteem of your own, independence especially financially and of good character.. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.. If its something you want to do, I'll say put boundaries in place of course with your partners commitment and understanding else...

FalseProphet1:
I see white racial competitors behind this man's suspension, I see them conspiring to pull him down because he's a Nigerian and ahead of them, I see them fighting this case with every penny they have. I see the man not coming back to practice anytime soon. This I have seen.

BS!!.. you haven’t seen correctly