flokii:
So it's fuel station banter that is making you depressed

TBH we Nigerians are part of the
problems facing Nigeria.. we can criticize others but when we get the chance to make a change, we do exactly like those we love to criticize.

@OP Go easy on yourself and try to ammend your ways.. noone is perfect afterall.

Lalasticlala

Double0h7:
The lesson here is to not judge yourself and others harshly. If you are gentle with others when they error then you could be gentle on yourself when you make the same mistakes.

But if you're critical of others then you'll be critical of yourself and this will lead to anxiety and depression. Just be kinder, patient, and more forgiving.

When you lack then you'll meet people who are kind and patient with you. We're human and that means we're capable of good and bad, positive and negative. That's what being human is.

Forgive yourself right now and treat yourself to something nice. Let go and move on with your new found understanding. It's a blessing in disguise

Thank you so much.

Franzinni:
Its in the DNA guy.

Everynigerian I mean every last one is a big hypocrite.

Everybody just dey package.

No I'm not.

It's going to be an intermediate-long read but please endeavor to read through.

It happened that I went to buy petrol at the filling station in my area and because of this present fuel scarcity, the queue was quite long as vehicles, motorcycles, and people with Jerry cans are being attended to by a single pump.

I had waited more than an hour without it being my turn and after some time, a guy just arrived and went straight to the pump to buy the fuel but the attendant didn't attend to him and he was asked to join the queue so he waited. But he happened to know the boy whose keg was directly in front of mine and he waited by him. I suspected that he was going to give the keg to him to buy on his behalf and that's exactly what he did when he was the only one left to buy petrol before me. I was angry, i raised alarm at the injustice and how what he did was terrible. I complained bitterly about how I've been standing for hours and how he can't just collect someone's keg and put it right in front. They issue was so chaotic that the boy before me threatened (and almost) slapped me. The other people on the que were all begging me not to answer them any longer and they all sided me. So I kept quiet and they were all attended to.

Not up to 5 minutes later was when someone i know who I hold in high esteem because of several things he has done for me and he's also like a big bro to me, came to me buy petrol for him. He gave me the keg and the money and I was right on the queue. Deep in my mind, I didn't want to collect it but i didn't want him to feel disrespected so I shamelessly collected it. After that, a guy who was about 6 position behind me shouted that "That's why Nigeria can never be better again!" I wouldn't have felt this bad but i made the matter worse by shamelessly trying to defend myself even when I was obviously wrong. Not long after was when this guy took his keg out of the queue and went straight to the pump to buy. Nobody was bold enough to stop him, even i was just bending my head and looking for how to cover my head in shame.

I later went back to the person who gave me the keg and I told me i can't buy for him again. He later collected his keg and was even later able to buy before I did.

I just bought my petrol and went straight home feeling very sad. I can't believe I became who i was criticizing within a split of a second. It happened so fast I couldn't get the chance to think of the right decision. I'm fighting the urge to believe that I'm that bad, corruptible person.

I feel terrible bad and I will henceforth seek to never find myself in such scenario again. Please if you have books or anything that can help, I'm really open to learn and move forward in life. I don't want to be a bad person regardless of whichever situation I find myself.
I'm depressed. Really depressed.

Lalasticlala