I'm Nike by name and I come from a Christian home, surprisingly, I was even told I had a call of God upon my life. I wish it came so easy for me to accept the first line of this paragraph but it didn’t.

For many years, being with my parents I felt like a burden, I was an asthmatic patient and as such required a lot of medications and care. At many instances, I kept my family at the edge, the victory over my health was usually short-lived.

On a particular instance, my mother couldn’t swallow it in again, I remember how out of frustration, she said, “Nike, you are a liability to your father and I”. I practically drained the resources of my family while battling with asthma, I was the hole in their pockets. It took me no time to conclude that I didn’t belong there. I craved love from anyone, I just wanted to feel important.

The situation at home caused me to search for love. It was during this period, I crossed paths with Hakeem, a muslim. Compared to my parents, he was there to listen to me aside worrying over my health. The point was that he saw me as important. There wasn't anything wrong in the relationship, the fact however remained that I could feel God's presence slip out of me. After dragging the relationship for a while, I lost my interest in it and called it off.

My university days, however ushered me to a relationship proper. Being freshmen (Jambites) in the university (I and a couple of friends), students in the higher levels had an interest in us and it was through that I got introduced to Segun. They came as mentors and Segun was a good one amongst them. I really had no attraction towards him though I respected him a lot. We had outings and whenever I needed something, he was always there for me. I wouldn't forget to mention that he was really handsome and he was the kind of guy I wished for.
I somehow let out my thoughts to my friends on a particular occasion and they made a mountain out of it, "Nike this guy is good and we feel you make a good match", they said. I didn’t see my period for a while due to change of environment or some other reason and after sharing it with them, they unfortunately used it against me. In their rather innocent hearts, they were in the process of match-making. They started off by telling anyone willing to give them an audience that I was pregnant for Segun, perhaps it was all Segun’s plan but it worked.

The news took off as a joke till I succumbed to getting into a relationship with him. I must confess, there was nothing godly about the relationship but since he matched my picture perfect view of the man I wished for, I continued. I did really unthinkable things, a kiss progressed to romance, and I couldnt get enough till we finally had sex. It didn't end there, I became a sex addict. In a nutshell practically, I had sex at least every day of the week.

As much as I felt that a lot of people didn’t care, they began to show up like they were being triggered. The spiritual friends in my circle warned and cautioned me, pastors did too but I just didn’t give in. Why did they have to take so long? I was already a sex addict and all their efforts were useless till I almost lost my life in that relationship.

The near-death experience began a turning point for me though it wasn't visible as much. I did repent and broke off the relationship but in no time I found myself walking back to it. The pleasure attached to it seemed to draw me with both hands. It felt so much like I was driving a car with no brakes.

Through the help of God, I was delivered from it but I realised aling the line, another problem came in as I also began battling with masturbation.

Masturbation was a point of release for me, I hadn't totally given in to God. Getting out of it required my openness about it to my family and best friend. It was hard but I was greatly encouraged, some of my pastors in church also helped in counselling me.

It was goodnews finally meeting with those who truly cared though I wish the circumstances were different.
My turning point finally came when I was made an executive in my school fellowship, I let God in completely into my life and I can boldly say that I’m free by His grace. I’m better and I can tell of my experience, the true source of love embraced me with both arms.

We need to be true to ourselves, we need to hold each other up. In every way possible, no one can love you as much as God would.

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I wish I could take away the pains that bring tears down your face, because seeing you in this state puts me in worries. I would love to tell you this face to face but since you are far away I decided to write this to you.

I have seen aged men and women weep over the loss of a close person, I have seen beautiful ladies cry over broken relationships, I have also seen handsome guys cry over a confused life or a carryover in a university course. This has explained alot to me. Everyone goes through one difficult obstacle or the other in life.

It might not be your fault that you are currently in the mess you are in now, but it will now be your fault if you remain in that state. What actually makes a situation worse than it's real image is our reaction. We often aggravate little issues and give ourselves headaches over it. I'm really happy that you haven't give up, am grateful to God that you didn't allow the situation make you commit suicide. It's enough reason to praise God that there is hope for a solution.

I learnt alot from one of my mentors, Bro David in the Bible. After he had soaked himself in tears before God expressing his pain, at the end of his expression, he always stood back to challenge the situation. That's what i want you to do today.

It's time to challenge the situation, it's time to make a new plan on how to move the mountain away, it's time you take some new actions. It's time for you to make some critical decisions that will change your life.

Life is only at wits end when you call it so to yourself. There are so many opportunities still waiting for you. While covering your face in tears, you would walk past your doors of opportunities without knowing. Pick up your pieces and move on. No one can help you as much as you can for yourself.

Till we meet again, dear friend you are better than your yesterday, the earlier you wipe away your tears, the better. Friend, this is also a reminder to our friends who are sullen and depressed, help them up- the future is for those who are ready to take hold of their day.

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