2011 Presidential Debate: Atiku, Shekarau, Jonathan Goodluck, Ribadu, Buhari, Okotie Etc - 4


By Sunday Njokede



Ribadu: President Barack Obama started visiting public schools in the USA in less than two weeks after he moved into the White House. Capital City Public Charter School in Columbia Heights - Washington, was the first school Obama and his wife visited to uplift and buoy up students educational interest. Ribadu told the presidential Debate audience in Abuja with the audacity of presidential hopeful who's well-versed in the sociopolitical history of USA. Our own president in Aso Rock, is a clueless lame duck and lapdog put together he added, as the audience went wild with cheers. Chittering and chattering to one another in the manner of an organised confusion. It took the moderator hard hustle to quiet the participants of journalists, society's higher-ups, busybodies and all-comers.



Onetime US president Bill Clinton once said, 'if you think education is expensive, try ignorance.' Tony Blair, erstwhile British prime minister was asked to mention three areas he'd give priority and he said 'education, education, education.' Education is the lifeline of any country. Any leader who trifles with it, is an outcast and core enemy of society.



Woes betide Jo, ! Sorry. I beg your pardon ladies and gentlemen. Shame upon president Jonathan regimes for wanting to 'deregulate' university education as if the bitter pills from petrol deregulation isn't enough for now. Ribadu told the attendees. I've news for you. It's not true that parents worldwide pay expensively for university education as Mr. Goodluck's minister of state for education Kenneth Gbagi had lied. Education is flatly free across board in Finland and plenty more countries in Europe and sundry other continents around the world. I will read to you now, ladies and gentlemen, a clipping from a university in Finland that I copied, from their information website on the Internet.



Now listen to me read: ", Since higher education in Finland is funded by the state through the Ministry of Education, students enrolled in regular Bachelor's or Master's degree studies pay no tuition fees. Students have to pay for their books and other materials, as well as accommodation and living expenses. The cost of living is comparable to the rest of Europe on average. The monthly living expenses of a single student are around EUR 700 per month, " You all heard me correctly, Ribadu told the participants - education is wholesomely free in Finland.



If Jonathan Goodluck could buy three jets at the same time, this country could afford to comfortably, give free and rock-solid education to all who yearn to learn. Ribadu said with sober reflection of genuine intention. Free and qualitative education is a must for this country if you Nigerians, would kindly vote me as your president in 2011. People who passed via Nigeria universities should be able to compete with people in China, USA and other countries in today's workplace worldwide. He continued. To start with, Ribadu would go to primary schools across Nigeria to read readers with them and encourage students to stand up and be counted as tomorrow's leaders and experts.



Our president is now in Gabon on wasteful wanderlust aka Gabon's independence, isn't it? Ribadu asked the Presidential Debate audience with high desperation. Jonathan Goodluck should've used the time wasted on aimless knockabout in world capitals to visit our dilapidated schools firsthand and plan how he'd better our educational system like most leaders do worldwide. Visiting schools and showing genuine concern. Another four-year for Jonathan Goodluck would be general funeral for our beloved country, ladies and gentlemen. Vote for me and see what it's to be young, dynamic, well-read, levelheaded and simple-minded. I'm the next president that Nigeria needs, Ribadu shouted aloud into the podium microphone as he left with the confidence of a scholar.



Atiku: Kenny Martin who stole police equipment fund and sundry government monies has been set free from criminal prosecution by Jonathan Goodluck. Because Mr. Martins is an in-law to ex-president Obasanjo. President Jonathan is seriously indebted to OBJ and others who godfathered him into Aso Rock despite his cluelessness, lack of confidence and lustre. Any attempt to give him another four years would be our collective race to the bottom. Atiku said with the hot emotion of a betrayed man. Nigeria would be sold to the lowest bidder so long that person belongs to the OBJ-Jonathan axis of evil. Atiku continued. Atiku was going to study and carry out the crime-fighting tactics of former New York mayor Rudolf Gulliani to checking crime in Nigeria. To start with, he'd sack Farida Waziri and purge himself of his criminal-mindedness. Donating all he stole including selling off his private university and ploughing back his total loot to the government and people of Nigeria. A daunting task though, but Allah will see me through! Atiku sobered. He pleaded with Nigerians to vote for him that he is going to banish the culture of impunity in Nigeria. Nigeria is full of too many political sacred cows, he regretted as if he's not one of them. He'd put Obasanjo in jail plus his corrupt journeymen for their corruptions. The Presidential Debate participants did not believe Atiku full hog because he has been inconsistent always. Always looking for the political party with ready-made bread and butter to hook up with. Atiku almost mentioned the Siemens, Halliburton and Daimler corruptions, but he quickly realised he's one of the criminals. He 'coded' as they say in Nigeria parlance. That was how he left the Debate podium with quick-march as if he's being hunted by his past misdoings. True, no one could match the gutful temerity with which Atiku braced the odds to announce his presidential candidature to the belittlement of OBJ and other PDP tribesmen who want him dead. Atiku could fight dirty any day, a thing that impressed the attendants of the Presidential Dedate but his shortness in morality and political harlotry feared everyone.



Jonathan Goodluck: I gave Mr Martins pardon from criminal wrongdoings due to his closeness to OBJ, so what? Jonathan asked his debate opponents with the mien of a winner. Presidential pardon is a universal issue. George Bush pardoned 14 criminals shortly before he left office. The only mistake I made is that, while pardon is doled out as a last resort after the tenure of the leader expires, I gave Kenny Martins his while I'm still in office and asking to be reelected. Said the president with serious regret. Although Jonathan is aware that George Bush refused to pardon one of Dick Cheney's staff named Lewis "Scooter" Libby who lied under oath after revealing that Valerie Plame Wilson was a CIA agent. George Bush's vice president Cheney, had lobbied him to free Mr. Libby his staff and alter ego, but Bush turned down his request bluntly. A thing that made Cheney go ape in anger. Inwardly, Jonathan now thinks that he should've acted like Bush and rejected Obasanjo's request to freeing his in-law. I've screwed up big time by letting my personal interests override national advantage he kept thinking. He prayed to God for forgiveness and he was sure his wayward God has answered his prayers. Even as Jonathan plans further how to rip Nigerians off. In the end, Jonathan managed to beg Nigerians to vote for him after promising not to condole corruption anymore. The audience was unsatisfied with Jonathan's fake repentance however, they managed to contain and restrain themselves. Jonathan was gone with the wind in a flash without giving the audience the normal decorum. A thing that made most believe that Jonathan has capitulated, losing the 2011 election.



Buhari: Ordering three more aircrafts in a go, is indicative that president Jonathan Goodluck is ready to ride and die, at least in the figments of imagination of most Nigerian. Buhari told the presidential debate audience with surprising shock and awe. Or should we say that Jonathan is on a fly and die mission, instead of ride and die? Because, ride is for car and fly for jet.



Buhari had watched Jay Z and Beyonce sing and perform the "ride and die, me and my girlfriend" song somewhere in New York. He was convinced now that the song was the very prophecy that Jonathan would in 2010 propose to buy jets in a country plagued by artificial poverty masterminded by Mr. Goodluck's knitted robber politicians and spendthrifts. Only politicians and Mafia group living on borrowed time indulge in such senseless fast lane do or die, get rich or die trying lifestyles. Come to think of it, Jonathan is living on borrowed time because in 2011, I, Buhari, would take over statecraft from him. But must Jonathan live flashy with our collective wealth? This is criminal, Buhari lamented further.



The ride and die title song done by Jay Z and Beyonce was an imitation of the lives of Bonnie and Clyde. A male and female criminal couple whose criminality and daredevil tactics took America and the world by storm as the proposed buying of multiple airplanes by Jonathan has kept the ears of all, ringing as a Nokia phone.



Everything about buying these jets is criminal negligence on the well-being of have-nots Nigerians who eke out living as guttersnipes in a country flowing with crude oil, able and capable men and women, Buhari echoed further. He told the participants with all truthfulness to Allah, that he was going to banish the spirit of spending Nigeria's hard earn thrift with careless abandon from Aso Rock, when he gets yonder in 2011. That demon of spend-mania planted in the presidency by ex-president Obasanjo must be uproot by the special grace of Allah! He sermonised. To a cheering audience who believe every word spoken by Buhari. To run small, smart and accountable government derelict of corruption is Buhari's election motto for 2011. Buhari is said to be making headway Nieriawide as his popularity is hitting Northern Nigeria like tsunami. A nightmare scenario for the PDP tribe of politicians who have no workable or sane manifesto to present to Nigerians. Unless endless goofs, corruptions, poverty and wastage of our monies and goodwill both home and abroad. Buhari want to change all that as he begs Nigerians to elect him in 2011. He thanked the organisers of the 2011 Presidential Debate for their socio-engineering of Nigeria in the positive. He left the debate podium with a 'thank you all' respect.



Shekarau: He is so pissed off with the way the Jonathan government is handling the about 12 billion dollar IBB scam as indicted by the Okigbo Panel. Shekarau swore to Allah in all truthfulness before the audience, that he'd not be able to take on Banbaginda because both of them are co-Muslims. But he went out of his way as presidential aspirant to state categorically that, he thinks that Buhari is honestly the only one who could bring IBB to jail. He swore that Buhari would locate the missing Panel's report for sure. All Shekarau would do if elected president is make sure IBB's loots are confiscated and given back to the Federal Republic of Nigeria. He cannot jail him, he said with adequate frankness. But all the same, he begged Nigerians to cast their votes for him in even though he thinks that only God could make him president in 2011.



Sunday Njokede writes from The European Union



www.rig2011electionyoudie@rocketmail.com

an average Nigerian believes if you don't engage in sharp practices, you're not smart, queuing up to get something is a sign of dumbness, a Nigerian will just bypass everybody to get to the front. greed and self-centeredness is d bane of Nigeria.

the saga are yet to be uncovered, very soon, there will be fake head of state in Nigeria.

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Thanks Mbeki

When they say Nigeria is a corrupt nation, people will be making noise. Everything in Nigeria is corrupt