the period

the kindergatten class had a homework assignment
to find out about something exciting and relate
it to the class the next day. When the time came
for the little kids to give their reports, the
teacher was calling on them one at a time.

The teacher was reluctant to call upon little
Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit
crude. But eventually his turn came. Little
Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and
with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on
the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie
had in mind for his report on something exciting,
so she asked him just what that was. 'It's a
period', Johnnie explained.

'Well I can see that,' she said, 'but what is so
exciting about a period?'

'Damned if I know,' said Johnnie, 'but this
morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy
had a heart attack and Mommy fainted.'

the Hot parrot

This guy is not getting along so well with his
wife and thinks maybe he'd like to have a pet he
can get along with. So, he goes to a pet shop in
search of a friend. After looking around he spots
a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't
have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud,
"Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a
defective parrot." "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It
sounded like this parrot actually understood what
I said and answered me." "I understood every
word," says the parrot. "I am a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Yeah?"
the guy asks. "Then answer this; how do you hang
onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the
parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but
since you asked I'll tell you. I wrap my little
parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like
a little hook. You can't see it cause of my
feathers."

"Wow," says guy, "you really can understand and
answer, can't you?" "Of course. I speak both
Spanish and English. I can converse with
competence on almost any subject: politics,
religion, sports, physics, philosophy , and
I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to
buy me. I am a great companion." The guy looks at
the price tag. "$200!" he says. "I can't afford
that."

"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over
with one wing. "Nobody wants me cause I don't have
any feet. You can get me for $20 just make an
offer." The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out
with the parrot. Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational. He's funny, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, sympathizes, gives good advice. The
guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from
work and the parrot says, Pssst," and motions him
over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the
cage. "I don't know if I should tell you this or
not," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife
and the mailman."

"What?" says the guy.

"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to
the door today your wife greeted him in a sheer
nightgown and kissed him on the mouth." "What
happened then?" asks the guy. "Then the mailman
came into the house and lifted up the nightgown
and began petting her all over," reports the
parrot.

"Oh No!" the guy says. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his
knees and began to look at her body, starting with
her breasts and slowly going down and down, "

The parrot pauses for a long time. "What happened?
What happened?" says the frantic guy.

"I don't know," says the parrot, "I fell off my
perch."

the genie

A man was walking along the beach and found a
bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so
he opened the bottle. A genie appeared and
thanked the man for letting him out. The genie
said, 'I am so grateful to get out of that bottle
that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant
one.'

The man thought for a while and finally said,
'I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never
been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes
are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see
all that water and I become very claustrophobic.
So I wish for a road to be built from here to
Hawaii.

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally
said, 'No, I don't think I can do that. Just
think of all the work involved. Consider all the
piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep
they would have to go to reach the bottom of the
ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that
is just too much to ask.'

The man thought for a few minutes and then told
the genie, 'There is one other thing I have
always wanted. I would like to be able to
understand women. What makes them laugh and cry,
why are they temperamental, why are they so
difficult to get along with. Basically, what
makes them tick.'

The genie considered for a few minutes and said,
'So, do you want two lanes or four?'

Nice joke abt the parrot

the period joke is cool

Nice one for the genie stuff women are too difficult to understand.So,ten lane road is easily constructed to Hawaii .

You guys really tried in your post.

I like funny stuffs . lol


cheers

@ poster
You got that genie joke right down to a 'T'.
I've lived a a woman or the other all my life and I've still not come anywhere near understanding them.

dem wahala too much,even genie know

Cool

the blonde


A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country
road in her new sports car when something goes
wrong and it breaks down. Luckily, she happens
to be near a farmhouse.

She goes up to the farmhouse and knocks on the
door. When the farmer answers, she says to him,
"It's Sunday night and my car broke down! I don't
know what to do! Can I stay here for the night
until tomorrow when I can get some help?"

"Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but
I don't want you messing with my sons Jed and
Luke."

She looks through the screen door and sees two men
standing behind the farmer. She judges them to be
in the early twenties. "Okay," she says.

After they have gone to bed for the night the
woman begins to get a little Hot just thinking
about the two boys in the room next to her. So she
quietly goes into their room and says,

"Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the
ways of the world?"

They say, "Huh?"

She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get
pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers."

She puts them on the boys, and the three of them
go it all night long.

Forty years later, Jed and Luke are sitting on the
front porch, rocking back and forth.

Jed says, "You remember that blonde woman that
came by here about forty years ago and showed us
the ways of the world?"

"Yeah", says Luke, "I remember."

"Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?"

"Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not."

"Me neither" says Jed, "Let's take these
things off!"

lol
rotflmfao @ d genie joke,
bt wait a min, guys arnt eazyyy 2 undastnd either,
i fink its eazya 2 undastnd a woman 1nce u undastnd ha feelings.

:d

Dani, the time keeper. Please don't lauf, it's 18+

nice one mikey, havent forgottn old times hve ya?

[size=13pt]Cooooooooooooooooooool[/size]

nice joke bro keep it up

clemcykul:

nice one mikey, havent forgottn old times hve ya?

i am planning to keep this thread alive till 3010.

so i'll keep resurrecting it.

hmm 3010 may God help you

Amen

You jamb electric pole ni?

Maybe

No wonder . . .i've been suspecting it.

collins465:

You guys really tried in your post.

I like funny stuffs . lol


cheers

me too. . . mostly so i could type in lwkm, lwkmd, lol, lmao, lmfao. . . etc

Na u sabi
Mykali i am fine now

how do i know you are fine?
you have to prove it.