dear landers,

please how involved should a working class lady be financially in the family expenses? or is it entirely left to the man? your views please.

A lady should contribute according to her financial capacity but she shouldn’t subdue that of the husband’s or else he might get jealous.

I am a man.Biblically, A man must provide entire needs of his family. But realistically, the economic situation of Nigeria and any other economy in the world does not permit a man to provide solely for his family needs.

I would advise any woman who wants a peaceful home to always be by her man side in all areas. Bot I would not support the idea of a man looking unto his woman for the family up keep.

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!

this is why you dont marry someone who would be totally dependent on you which means that she has to come up with 50% of the family expenses. I mean a man is not the only person in the house hold so why should he carry everything on his back.
If you are a man in this day and age and you are still looking to marry a house wife you will have problems

It's the guy's job to provide for the family; the woman does not have to contribute a single kobo! If she wants to, then of course she can contribute but it isn't to be expected of her. You guys amaze me. You want your wife to contribute financially; how many of you share the household chores? Do you split the cooking. the washing up, the cleaning? Do you divide up who gets up when the kid is crying at night? Who stays up when the kids are sick with flu? Who carries the baby for 9 months in her belly with all the pain and trauma associated with it? Who undergoes the pain of labour? Who spends more time raising the kids, teahing them morals, putting up with their misdemeanors?

And after all that, you ask her to contribute to the family's upkeep! And you will say that is gender equality! I call that sexism; the double slavery of women. If you want your wife to contribute to the family's upkeep, then be prepared to share her wifely and motherly duties!

Of course, if the wife chooses to help (without anyone putting pressure on her), then that's generous of her and the husband should acknowledge it too and not take it for granted.

@stranger26

If I know who u are, and if u are not married, I will never touch u with a long pole as far as marriage is concerned.

As far as I am concerned, My future wife must be a working class person and must contribute to family upkeep. In fact we must agree on the proportion as part of the courtship process. I can not be slaving alone while my wife spends all her money on buying jewelries and taking care of her people.

And for ur information, I will share certain chores with my wife e.g cooking, cleanin the house, taking care of the baby (to the level I can go), afterall I married her to be my life partner, not my slave.

See, yeah, if you ARE going to share the household chores, then it is more acceptable. I get mad at this topic because stupid guys want their wives to contribute while they are not ready to do anything around the house. One guy said he would help his wife only if she was really sick! And he expects her to help him out financially! Does that seem fair?

Actually, as a muslim, it's the husband's duty to provide for his wife and children, feed her, clothe her, and give her an acceptable standard of living. And yeah, I'm not married but I'm sure I wouldn't want to marry you either. The guy I marry is gonna be special,,,,and lucky to marry me! I was just stating my opinion; you didn't have to get personal.

I think it should be 70% for the husband and 30% to the wife, remember an adage says for every successful Man, there's always a Woman.

At least a woman should contribute 45%

stranger26:

See, yeah, if you ARE going to share the household chores, then it is more acceptable. I get mad at this topic because stupid guys want their wives to contribute while they are not ready to do anything around the house. One guy said he would help his wife only if she was really sick! And he expects her to help him out financially! Does that seem fair?

i hope this is not trade by barter!!!!!!!!! do me i do you, do this or i wont do this. personally, i feel a man has got more dignity when he can provide for his family without any aid from the wife, but what if

ayeesha:

she earns more than he does?

then i believe there is absolutely nothing wrong if she contributes more while he tries to up his game, afterall if i may say, she probably knew his worth before they got married and i feel there shouldnt be any relationship between financial contributions and house chores if the couples have good understanding, these shouldnt be a problem.

As far as I'm concerned, the woman must contribute even if the man earns millions.
It is one way in which she can show her commitment and devotion to the relationship.

the percentage does not matter. but she must contribute something.

stranger26:

It's the guy's job to provide for the family; the woman does not have to contribute a single kobo! If she wants to, then of course she can contribute but it isn't to be expected of her. You guys amaze me. You want your wife to contribute financially; how many of you share the household chores? Do you split the cooking. the washing up, the cleaning? Do you divide up who gets up when the kid is crying at night? Who stays up when the kids are sick with flu? Who carries the baby for 9 months in her belly with all the pain and trauma associated with it? Who undergoes the pain of labour? Who spends more time raising the kids, teahing them morals, putting up with their misdemeanors?

yes, its the man's duty to cater for his family, but the woman, while it may not be expected of her, has major roles to play. who says men dont stay awake when their kids are sick with flu? who gets up when a strange sound is heard at night?

Who carries the baby for 9 months in her belly with all the pain and trauma associated with it? Who undergoes the pain of labour?

asking this is like asking who pays the bride price, their isnt any provision made by our creator  for a man to take up that role, otherwise men would, for some reasons like this, some would say its a man's world,no matter how you try to manipulate things a woman comes out unfavoured in most cases.

I find it very interesting that when it comes to general equality between men and women; ladies are quick to shout out that it's the 21 century, women are equal to men . . . .  blah de blah

But when it comes down to who pays for the meal at dinner date or as the poster has proposed; HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD THE WOMAN CONTRIBUTE  ladies are quick to quote the bible or say things like the man is head of the house.

does this mean that some or most of the new age women are hypocrites ? ?

where are the feminists in nairaland . . . . .  I think it would be interesting to learn your contributions and your arguments in defence.

Personally I would contribute as much as i can because i think it takes two to build up a home and sustain it.

NaJa HaJe:

I find it very interesting that when it comes to general equality between men and women; ladies are quick to shout out that it's the 21 century, women are equal to men . . . . blah de blah

But when it comes down to who pays for the meal at dinner date or as the poster has proposed; HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD THE WOMAN CONTRIBUTE ladies are quick to quote the bible or say things like the man is head of the house.

does this mean that some or most of the new age women are hypocrites ? ?

where are the feminists in nairaland . . . . . I think it would be interesting to learn your contributions and your arguments in defence.

Personally I would contribute as much as i can because i think it takes two to build up a home and sustain it.

well said!!!!!!!!!!!.

I'm not saying that I personally wouldn't contribute. I'm just questioning what right a man has to expect his wife to contribute when HE is not ready to help with household chores and in taking care of the kids. If the guy was willing to help cook, do dishes, clean the house, etc and not see it as a "woman's job" then of course, the wife can reciprocrate.

But, yo, when a guy is ego-driven, chauvinistic, thinking that even washing his own clothes is un-manly then he has no right to expect his wife to do the "man's work" since he aint ready to do the woman's work.
FYI, I'm not gonna marry a man who has issues with doing housework (if I can't help it). Therefore, we won't have issues over who contributes to the upkeep of the family. I never said I want to be a housewife; in fact I want to get a Ph.D after marriage and work after that so it's not as if I'm gonna be dependent on any guy.

I maintain that a man has no right to expect anything from his wife if he isn't ready to help out with housework and other stuff.

fabiyi:

I am a man.Biblically, A man must provide entire needs of his family. But realistically, the economic situation of Nigeria and any other economy in the world does not permit a man to provide solely for his family needs.

I would advise any woman who wants a peaceful home to always be by her man side in all areas. Bot I would not support the idea of a man looking unto his woman for the family up keep.

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!

@ fabiyi
Biblically a woman also supposes to contribute to house hood
read ecclesiastic's 6 or proverbs 6 among the two.
the bible say a good wife must cata for food in her house, must weave cotton in order to make clothe for the children
must not seat and wait for the husband to close with food from his working place.
infact what the bible require of woman in that chapter for me is too much if really we are to follow it i pity for women
but then we have to less the burden.

stranger26:

I'm not saying that I personally wouldn't contribute. I'm just questioning what right a man has to expect his wife to contribute when HE is not ready to help with household chores and in taking care of the kids. If the guy was willing to help cook, do dishes, clean the house, etc and not see it as a "woman's job" then of course, the wife can reciprocrate.

But, yo, when a guy is ego-driven, chauvinistic, thinking that even washing his own clothes is un-manly then he has no right to expect his wife to do the "man's work" since he aint ready to do the woman's work.
FYI, I'm not going to marry a man who has issues with doing housework (if I can't help it). Therefore, we won't have issues over who contributes to the upkeep of the family. I never said I want to be a housewife; in fact I want to get a Ph.D after marriage and work after that so it's not as if I'm going to be dependent on any guy.

So how much will you contribute financially?

stranger26:

I'm just questioning what right a man has to expect his wife to contribute when HE is not ready to help with household chores and in taking care of the kids. If the guy was willing to help cook, do dishes, clean the house, etc and not see it as a "woman's job" then of course, the wife can reciprocrate.

I maintain that a man has no right to expect anything from his wife if he isn't ready to help out with housework and other stuff.

You sound very ambiguous. _{its just my summary so don't take it personally.}

So what right does the woman expect that the man should shoulder the brunt of the finances in the home?

When you're married and doing your PhD who will shoulder the house chores. . . .  your husband? its sounds like thats where you're leaning towards. will he be contributing financially as well. (albeit largely?)

I believe a woman should also contribute.

She shouldn't leave everything to her husband to do just because the Bible says the husband is the head of the home

The main point is that the husband should be the one to make decisions, ofcourse he will contribute

Woman! Let us rise up to every challenge in our homes

We are capable!

Let the woman contribute according to her financial capability

@topic

my candid words to young is not to go into marriage expecting what their ladies is going to contribute.go in if u are ready, its not out of place if she contributes though in the spirit of building the family of their dreams

wife should contribute according to their capabilities
it doesn't have to be named like house rent or up keeping, buying unbugetted clothing for the kids , augumentng the budget without being asked are all contribution, even making speacial treat for the family all from her purse are all contribution. wives the these daily
But men should know it is Duty of the man to do the major contribution

This is how we do it in our home:
Made up numbers

His income plus my income = Total
30K + 40K = 70K

Total amount of bills = 3K per month

Difference in income = my income/total income
= 40/70 = 57%

Total amount of bills * .57 = amount to contribute
3000 * .57 = 1710

In the above example I would contribute 1710 to the mantaince of the house budget and he would contribute 1290. The rest is yours to spend or save.

thats in baltimore .

As much as she can afford to bring out.

A lady can assist in her own capacity.

dyabman:

thats in baltimore .

so tell me how it is done in your neck of the woods.

And they asked how each person did it, so i offered our forumla that works for us. It is up to the poster to decide what to do with that information.

ifyalways:

As much as she can afford to bring out.

supported

Poster, in my culture, we dont think or consider how much the women is suppose to contribute. We would usually just come out money whenever it is needed as long as the family eats well and gets enough supplies.

Sista woman that is the best one. My husband and I use that technique. We used to keep whatever is left over but Suze Orman talked about splitting whatever was left equally and my husband makes much more but he felt it was fair since I do my hair and nails and things like that. So I end up with more but the percentage based on what you both bring in makes more sense and it works

d good book says dat a man dat cannot provide for his family is worst than an infidel. i believe we know wat dat means. nevertheless, a woman is meant to be a helpmate to the husband which means that since both of them have become one, they are helpmates to each other. in our world it is ideal for a man to provide for his household but since the world's economy is not helping out, it wouldn t  be  bad for the woman to assist the man.
she is under the man, he allows her to go out every morning and be  back in the evening so at month end she should be able to share the national cake. though that does not mean that the woman is under obligation or must be pressurized to do so. all the same i dont understand how a woman will be earning salary at the end of every month & will have the mind to sit on it. i will call that wickedness & witchcraft. men on the other hand should equally learn to fulful their own obligations as helpmate by helping in the house.

as for me i've vowed not to be a housewife, to work hard and ensure that most importantly my kids have the best life can offer them. infact that is where most of my money will be channeled.

LOL at witchcraft. I think it is just the way some people are raised. Some men are even ok with it.