naturalwaves: If OP's family is a closely knitted one,it will be very difficult to take d harsh and 'I don't send' decisions that a handful of u are suggesting.For them to come stay with him shows that they are close and d relationship is a cordial one.

Sarcoc: Just reading this trend I can tell the married men here from the single men! All these people shouting "be the man and do this and do that - tell him this and tell him that" clearly havent run a home for a second. My brother simple reminder -a car is only but metal as u noted when it is damaged you simply pass by a garage and it is fixed but remember that relationships cannot be fixed that Easley and even when you think it's fixed the memories lingers a life time. A price can be fixed on your car but not on any relationship

Just bear the pain and desist from anything that would dent any relationship.

werepeLeri: leave the car for them - if you can, just buy yourself another car and keep the key with you. There is no way you can keep an automobile from an adult in the house. or you want your marriage to begin shake maka SUV? Biko.

Sarcoc: Just reading this trend I can tell the married men here from the single men! All these people shouting "be the man and do this and do that - tell him this and tell him that" clearly havent run a home for a second. My brother simple reminder -a car is only but metal as u noted when it is damaged you simply pass by a garage and it is fixed but remember that relationships cannot be fixed that Easley and even when you think it's fixed the memories lingers a life time. A price can be fixed on your car but not on any relationship

Just bear the pain and desist from anything that would dent any relationship.

Abali1:

My dear, You are the least person to preach to me about RESPONSIBILITY.

I was responding to the OP's story of having ONLY ONE CAR & was able to allow his BIL use it. And he equally went the extra mile of still bearing the cost of maintaining the car...

I can't even remember the last time I went to someone for financial assistance. Rather people do come to me now for Help.
Life is a Journey sis...

Abali1: op, I wish I hav your kind of brother In Law. My sis' husband has about four cars and it took a lot of pleadings and forming vex(cos I stopped helping out with house chores) before I was eventually given access to a car. [/b]And for the duration of my stay with them, [b]I dare not go to him or my sis for money to fuel or mentain the car. I have to squeeze out my own little funds to keep the car runn[b]ing. Did I hear you say scratch.... bros it is high time you put your feet down and take charge of your home.
Today it is car, I wonder what it will be tomor[/b]row.
I still wish my brother In Law was free with me like this when I was staying in his house.

ferhyntorlah:

Hey bros, I'm not even interested in doing such. From your initial post, you came across as someone who felt his BIL shouldn't have any problem letting him use one of his cars since he has enough cars to use and letting you drive one and also incurring the cost of the damages on the car in your care shouldn't be a big deal.
v
As you replied the poster based on what he posted, I also in likewise manner did same to your post; I guess we're even .

It's good to know you're doing well yourself and being privileged to extend your benevolence to others.

webdezzi: My friend, you need to be a man.
let him bash it one more time and take the chance to boil everywhere up.
when done, apologize to your wife.
you think your wife will let your relative mess with that same car like that?
she will call you in the bedroom and start plotting.

Abali1:

ferhyntorlah, that was my initial post, and the bolded shows that I ddnt feel my BIL owes me. I have to plead and form vex, cos I was also helping with washing of those cars and other chores and it was affecting my primary purpose which at that time was STUDY/SCHOOL.

Anyway, am not offended. Am only trying to contrast and compare, as was shown in the last paragraph.

nahinbdis: My brother-in-law has been living with me now for about 8months as he is awaiting the outcome of his visa appeal having been refused on first application. Along the line, he attended a driving school for two weeks so that he wouldn’t have to start from scratch by the time he relocates. However, he has now taken a liking to my SUV (my only car at the moment) to improve his driving skills. Much as I would want to see him improve, an SUV in my opinion is not a car for learners looking at its relative size and maneuverability. This is evident in the damage the car has suffered the several times he has manned it.

The very first time, he drove too closely to a parked bus and the side mirror was damaged; this I fixed at my cost. This made my wife and I to resolve that he should not drive the car and I more or less told him so. However, due to the nature of my job, I usually leave my car at home and join the staff bus. His strategy now is to convince my wife that he wants to teach her how to drive, or they should drive to church or he wants to drop her off at the office. The next time he drove the car, he drove over the spikes at a filling station and punctured the right tyre through the side wall. Though they bought a secondhand tyre to replace it, it does not tally with the other tyres making the car to look funny. I was quite upset at this but held back. Another time, he scratched the side of the car while backing out of the garage. That damage has not been fixed. Then another time I found that the middle hand rest was broken because they leaned on it too much and the horn also stopped working (this has also not been fixed). Then yesterday, he went to make some deliveries for my wife and run his own things with the car. I met him on my way back from work pushing the car because fuel had run out (of course the fuel indicator was on!) but he usually never wants to spend a dime of whatever funds he has. I had to bring out money for him to buy fuel as he said he was going home to collect money from my wife. By the time the car was fuelled and I took over driving, I felt much vibration and heard so much noise from the car suspension. I asked him why he was flying over potholes on bad inner city streets and his response was that he was under pressure to deliver my wife’s goods.

I do not want to lose my cool with him or wifey but I think I have run out of options. My latest resolve is to keep the car key in an undisclosed location when am not around. What do you think?

dasparrow:

Take your car from him. Agh! Here in the united states he can't try that crap because everything here costs alot of money. Is that how he is going to act like an uncivilized baboon when he gets to the united states and run his car into people's cars? Not only will his car insurance go up through the roof but he could get sued should the driver of the other vehicle he runs into get's injured. Its not mandatory that he learns to drive. He should go and learn how to ride a bike or a kiddie tricycle

nahinbdis:

Another car is not on the books right now. Just started a business for wifey and the focus now is on building it.

nahinbdis:

Another car is not on the books right now. Just started a business for wifey and the focus now is on building it.

GboyegaD: You need to let your wife know how you feel and stand your ground that on no reason should he drive the car. If he isn't comfortable with your decision, he can as well go back to his parents.

Tinkybabe:

The bolded got me roflmao ..For heavens sake and for the umpteenth time..the brother-in-law in question is his ELDER SISTER'S HUSBAND.English scholars had better found a different word other than brother-in-law to describe that relationship