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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? (12078 Views)
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Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Kobojunkie: 6:03pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 6:14pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: Exactly! but the systemic corruption of our laws is the sole reason why our value system is so terrible. We do not need to create new laws, just enforce the ones we have. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Kobojunkie: 6:24pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: I don't think I agree with that. There is no guarantee that if we even get to a point where laws are effectively implemented, that Nigerians will become generous givers. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 6:32pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: I think if you you are able to curtail oppression, true empathy will develop which could potentially lead to people giving more but let's agree to disagree |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Kobojunkie: 6:42pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: How do you curtail this oppression you speak of? Give me an example of how the law can do this please? I assume by oppression, you are referring to people who look out for ways to get more and more for self, or am I wrong? For instance, we have the case presented earlier where someone handed a jacket over to a shop boy, only for the boy to vamoose with the jacket. . |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 7:01pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: Your assumption is right. Now would you agree with me that if the offender knew that there's truly a chance of getting caught and apprehended he would not think twice about pulling a fast one on a good samaritan? And could this not potentially stop the samaritan from second guessing herself the next time she finds herself in a position to help another ? |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by SisiKill1: 7:16pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Johndoe100: Couldn't agree more!!!!! It is so annoying and the worst part you can't get these people to see reason. They even accuse you of trying to "block" their miracle. Nigerians as a whole. . .we need a reorientation. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by SisiKill1: 7:18pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
lagerwhenindoubt: |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by dayokanu(m): 7:23pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Its due to the experience of people from others. I have several experience both with Nigerians in Nigeria and with nigerians in US. In Nigeria, I had a clearing agent whom I used to clear one car and delivered to my dad, which he did After that I introduced him to a Shipper in the US and they were doing good business. the shipper was doing about 2 containers per week and the agent was making good money. later I sent another equipment to Lagos for clearing and after 4weeks my stuff wasnt cleared. I called him like 100 times and later he said the money I gave him for the clearing was stolen from him and my equipment has now incurred Demurrage of 960K. I contacted the customs they confirmed and I had to pay the clearing fee again, the demurrage . I was planning to arrest him with Police but my dad told me to let go cos 1. He might resort to diabolical stuff. 2. He knows where my family lives and when I turn the heat on him, he might also find a way of attacking my people The other shipper I introduced to him later told me he also swindled him and is partially holding me responsible though I told him I merely introduced and they didnt carry me along with their business |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Kobojunkie: 7:38pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: But not all forms of this oppression is illegal. For instance, it is not illegal to accept help from others, even if all you are doing is accepting it to enrich yourself. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 7:46pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: Not all but most are! Dayokanu's example is nothing short of advance fee fraud, despite not gaining anything for himself! This singular act will no doubt reduce his empathy, which means other people who truly need his help will not get it. And the swindler did it because he knew he'd get away with it because as far as he's concerned, DK is a mugu and he must chop his $ |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by mavinc4u(f): 7:49pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
acidtalk: @uju, thanks a billion didn't see your post before commenting earlier but on the vices of people let me state my own two personal experiences from what you stated above. you took the words out of my mouth .givers never lack.before one can give,that person must have the spirit of giving.without that spirit,one can never be a giver.i always tell people any time i want to help them,that am helping them not because they will help me in future cos i know they will never help but i do it because God will always help me. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 7:50pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
in my case, chalk it to observations when growing up. my old man did a lot for a some of his relatives - housed some, put some through school, financed businesses for others - all to naught once when he was in nigeria on holiday (this was when he was still working in the middle east) thieves came to our house. they knew exactly where to go now i know it was probably the niece staying with us who gave them the info. after the thieves had gone, the girl disappeared one of my sisters necklaces he was housing a sister in lagos, the woman, her kids, her grandkids, paying all the bills, financing her business - and when i was in lag on it, he gave her money to feed me - see the rubbish food she was giving me. to make matters worse, she was doing her best t poison the minds of her grandchildren against me. my dad is back in nigeria now, and most of the people he helped out when there was serious paper just wasted it lagerwhenindoubt: na so e be o. that is one of the older tricks they pull. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by mavinc4u(f): 8:00pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
lola.luv: please go back to your original person,it is good to give.there is blessing favour and joy that follows giving so don't give up. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by dayokanu(m): 8:02pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: Thing is its very hard to help ppl. The guy I have never seen him before, I just decided to help him and he turned into a fraud. I would call him and he would come up with the most ridiculous stories. that he knows its the handiwork of enemies who were envious of the strides he was making in the business. One day he called and told me his "Oluso" pastor wants to talk to me so that the pastor can confirm to me it was indeed a spiritual issue, When the Pastor got on the phone I just said, "Sir, Pastor, I am a Christian and I dont want to insult any man of God. Can you return the phone to Bosun" On December 31 last year, He called again and said as he was doing prayers the spirit said there was someone he has wronged and unless the person forgives him he would never make it. "Mo mo wipe Oloore mi ni yin, Ise Esu ni gbogbo eleyi" Meaning I knew you did good to me, But it was the devils work I just told him to only call me when my money is ready |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by SisiKill1: 8:05pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
dayokanu: |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by chic2pimp(m): 8:08pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
dayokanu: ROFLMAOOOOO!!!........Chei Uncle Bosun |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 8:09pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
If you want to help someone financially, please do so but have it at the back of your mind that most times people will try to rip you off even as you help you. Once you get this clear, you can always protect yourself from their antics eg like securing your possessions when you give lifts, lol |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 8:10pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
dayokanu: Original badu guy |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Kobojunkie: 8:24pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: But not a lot of laws to really nail the guy in this case. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 8:31pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
Kobojunkie: Advance fee fraud is still illegal, and Dayo affirmed that he was going to report to the police but for his parents who stopped him. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by dayokanu(m): 8:34pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: I was going to report but my dad just said i should bone also because the Police would probably collect money from me before they go after him, They would pick Bosun collect money from him and the case would die a natural death I would end up losing more money and Bosuns family would be going to my parents house everyday that they should release him. And should anything happen to Bosun in police custody, I would partly be held responsible |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Kobojunkie: 8:35pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
naijababe: Oh, I think I don't understand his story there then. I thought he gave someone help for free. Not certain why he is filing a case though. Let's not go off topic. If he had given someone money for free(as in truly giving) but he later found out that the person was not really in need, there are really no laws in place to charge someone for collecting such help. Any what we are discussing here are what the law considers to depend on the society's value system, and hence cannot police this in the way you continue to suggest that it can. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 8:38pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
dayokanu: Which still proves the point that Bosun knows how the system works and simply played it. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by lolaluv1(f): 9:21pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
mavinc4u: Well, I try my best under the circumstances. Thanks dear. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Flaix(f): 10:55pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
@op its because no good deed goes unpunished |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 11:21pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
My Parents have helped so many people and they have been betrayed, Me and my hubby have been duped severally but as my husband will say dont count the cost of helping but count the cost of not helping. By helping I dont mean buying BB for Neices and relatives but basics, food, education, book supports, financial support to people who cant pay medical bills, etc, I give not to get back or even to get a "God Bless you" but because as instructed in matt 25: 36 it is the only way to live as a Christian. If I give and you dupe me or hurt me, you are hurting yourself, however I investigate the reality of the need first. I am suprised sometimes when people who refuse to give to the people in need because they dont want to be duped take money they donet even have and give to add to pastors Jet lifestyle. Anyway< different strokes |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by kittykat1(f): 11:26pm On Aug 13, 2012 |
The first time armed robbers came to my father's house, they were brought by his niece whom he trained. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by emsquare(m): 12:08am On Aug 14, 2012 |
If I may ask what is the motif behind you giving or lending help to the needy? 1 Like |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by Nobody: 1:36am On Aug 14, 2012 |
math-diva: wise words. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by brabus(m): 3:11am On Aug 14, 2012 |
acidtalk: Personally, I will speak for myself. You must have been raised by good parents with good values. |
Re: Why Do We Refuse To Help People Financially? by brabus(m): 3:29am On Aug 14, 2012 |
I give willingly because God gives me without conditions. Life is too short to be playing demi-god. I give to that Muslim faithful who's looking for help even though I'm a christian. I give to that security man who's keeping night watch while we sleep not because he deserved it but because I felt its the fairest thing to do. I give to that under-privileged neighbour who cannot afford to sink a borehole. I give to that community which cannot afford electricity pole even though I can afford 3 Mikano generator. I give to that friend who's struggling to keep his family together even though he's driving a Nissan Murano. I give to that family with a newborn baby whose house was flooded and needed shelter. I give to that neighbour who definitely cannot afford to pay his child's school fee. I give to my community not because I seek attention but because I want to make an impact. I give to anyone in need (be it fraud or genuine) because no one knows tomorrow. A tree does not eat its fruit. Give and you'll be rewarded. |
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