Father: Why did your
Grammar teacher slap you?
Akpos: Because I asked her, Why
is Bra singular when it covers 2
items and Panties plural when it
covers just one

After dipping AKPOS three times in
water, Brother Peter said to him
"U are now a new creature, so
your name is no longer Akpos but
Paul. Frm now onward, no eating
of meat. Our church does not eat
meat! Only fish"
On arrival home,Akpos,now Paul
dipped his meat in water three
times and den said, "from now on
your new name na FISH

Keep it up

born2fuck: Little Akpors came in to the kitchen and found his grandmother eating breakfast.
"Where is mom and dad he asks?" His grandmother replied: "They'r still in bed." Akpors smiled and went to play.
Two hours later he came back and asked,"Where is mom & dad?" His grandmother replied: "They are still in bed."He
giggled and went back to play.
He came back at lunch and asked,"Where is mom & dad, are they still in bed?" His grandmother replied: Yea...Akpors
laughed. What d laughin abt?"asked his grandmother.
Akpors replied: "Last night dad came into my room asking for Vaseline and I gave him super glue

Veeeerrrryyy funny..chai!!hahahah

AKPORS WAS IN MENTAL HOSPITAL FOR 7 YEARS AND WANTED TO GET OUT REALLY BAD SO HE SPENT 5 MONTHS PRACTICING TO JUMP OVER THE GATE.

THE DAY CAME FOR HIM 2 ESPCAPE AND GAVE GOODBYES TO HIS FRIENDS..AND VANISHED AFTER 2 MINS HE CAME BACK AND HIS FRIENDS ASK IF HE HAD FORGOTEN SOMETHING
HE SAID" YES THE GATE WAS OPENED SO I COULDN'T JUMP I'LL TRY TOMORROW"

The Teacher was annoyed by akpors's habit Of Farting So Loud..
She Called Him in Her Office..

Teacher: Why Do you Always Fart too
Loud in Class?

Akpors: Its the Only thing am Best at!'
and No one can beat me On that..'
akpors poured some Chalk dust on the table And Dropped His pants,
farted and Blew almost all the Chalk dust..
(The Teacher Became Annoyed and Wanted to Prove to akpors that She can Do it Better.., she poured Some
Chalk dust, Dropped her Pants and gave a Big Fart that Blew all the chalk
dust, leaving the Table Clean..

Akpors Became soo amazed, coz
he always thought He was The Best..
As the Teacher was Dressing, akpors looked under Her and Said,
"No wonder you Have defeated me!"

Teacher asked, "Why?"

Akpors said, "You Have Two holes
Down there

Akpors was chatting wit his wife at dinner:

Wife: i wouldn't have married u if only i knew u were this poor.

Akpors: hahahahaha..... ...!

Wife: whats so funny n why are u laughing?

Akpors: when i told u "u were da only thing i had" what were u thinking abt?

AKPORS IN APTITUDE TEST

Teacher: 2 Books + 2 Books?

Akpors: 4 Books
...

Teacher: Now I'll ask you a tough one 1,789,365 Books +23,678 Books…?

Akpors: LIBRARY.

One day, Little Akpor's teacher, Miss Doris asked the class, "Children, if you know the answer, please raise your hand! Tell me things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, mam!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Mary." Miss Doris said, "Anyone else?”
"How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Akpors!” the teacher said.
Little Akpors, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!”

The teacher and all of the students wondered about Little Akpors answer. Then the teacher asked him,"Akpors, why do you think one can suck lamp?"
"Well, last night when I passed my parents' bedroom", Little Akpors answered, "I heard my mom say, 'turn off the lamp, honey and let me suck it.

Class Teacher: "Differentiate between Biology and Sociology"

Akpors: "If a new born baby looks like his father, it is 'Biology', but if he looks like his neighbor, then, it is called 'Sociology'

ROTFLMFAO...

There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Apkor sight him from a far. Then, a big trouble-making Akpors steps next
to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. Apkors was laughing, says, "why you crying because of drink? Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand
seeing a man crying."
The man replied"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave
the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I
remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife sleeping
with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my
poison."

Apkors fainted

Im gonna keep following until u run out!

Little Apkors catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey,
Pop! What are you doin'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Apkors says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning

Apkors; Thank God, you for witness smartness wey I play dem arm robbers today, dem enter my house, demand for my money or HIV injection

Ekiaite: wetin u come tell dem?

Apkors :Wetin u expect?

Ekaite; Money of course

Apkors: I know say you mumu like dem too,how I go let dem cast away the remaining 5000 wey dey house, I use sense for dem, I tell dem HIV injection and dem give me two for arms

Ekaite: yeahhh, you don kill me oooO

Apkors: Wait, make I finish,I tell dem robbers make dem give me one minute make I enter my room before injection, dem no know say I quickly run go inside room go wear condom

Ekaite fainted

(Apkors and Ekaitte at ATM)
Apkors withdraw 5,000 and a single 5000 note dispensed from ATM ,(Apkors changedd face) he withdraw 4000 again to ensure he avoid dispensing of single note, after successful with #1000 4 pieces, Apkors open the mouth of the ATM and force tried to pull back the single #5000,

Ekaite: why are you disposing the money, did you want to waste fund? are you blind that is a new #5000 and not ordinary

Apkorsakpors) I know but even if I want to dispose,will I force back into ATM?

Ekaite: what magic are you doing then?

Akpors: Did you not hear the latest news that Sanusi the CBN governor said we have the right to reject back the #5000 single not to the bank, so I am rejecting it to the Bank back through their ATM machine

Never force children to pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At dinner, akpors was forced to lead the family into prayer...

Akpors : But I don't know how to pray

Dad: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc

Akpors : "Dear Lord"."Thank u for our visitors and their children, who finished
all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again. Forgive our neighbor's son,
who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with he ron her bed. This coming Christmas, pliz send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my
daddy's blackberry & Provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work..AMEN

Good job here!

KNOW UR HISTORY! It is the first day of the session and a new Direct Entry student, Mensah, a Ghanaian, joins the class in one of Nigeria's universities.
The Lecturer says, "Let's begin by reviewing some Nigerian history."
Then she asks who said, "I shall return to die in the land of my fathers?"
No one, except Mensah, has his hand up and he answers, "King Jaja of Opobo, 1875"
“Very good!" say the Lecturer.
She asks again, “Who said ‘the land use act will feed the nation?"
Again, no response except Mensah who says,"Obasanjo, 1976."
The Lecturer snaps at the class, "You should be ashamed that Mensah, a foreigner knows more about our history than you do."
Someone in the class whispers, "Ghana must go".
She asked, "Who said that?"
Mensah put his hand up, "Buhari 1984."
At that point, a student at the back scornfully says, "Hmmm, you think you are smart?"
The angry Lecturer asks, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Mensah say, "Babangida to Abiola, 1992."
Furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah! Eat this!"
Mensah jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the Lecturer, "Indian mistress giving an apple to Abacha, 1998".
Now, with almost mob hysteria, someone says, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Mensah frantically yells out loud, "Chris Uba to Ngige, 2004!"
The Lecturer faints, and as the class gathers around her on the floor.
Someone says, "Oh shit, we're in Big trouble now!"
Mensah whispers, "Chimaroke Nnamani, Ayodele Fayose and Lucky Igbinedon 2007."
A student hisses, "Don’t answer him, he is a fool."
A smiling Mensah replies, "Obansanjo to IBB, 2011"
The Lecturer manages to get up and asks Mensah, “Please, who're you? Show yourself.”
Mensah jumps, yelling, “Jonathan to 'BOKO HARAM 2012

Ekaite was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Ekaite was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Ekaite's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"

Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Ekaite told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and she proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.

When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered ! and exclaimed "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it? "

"I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry."..

The policeman fainted.

Psalm 23 in Pidgin
1.The Lord na my shephard, i dey kampe.
2. E make me sidon for where betta dey flow, and come put me next to stream make my bodi thermacool.
3. E panel beat my soul come spray am white, come dey lead me dey go through express road of
righteousness sake of Him name.
4. Walahi !, even if I waka pass where Boko Haram, arm robber, 419 and juju people gather, come even
join okada and trailer reach valley of the shadow of death sef, my bodi dey inside cloth. Your rod and
staff nko? Na so dem dey like back bone dey comfort me.
5. You don prepare Egusi and Pounded yam make I chop. All my enemies jus sidon dey look waa waa
waa like Dog. You rub me for head with vaseline intensive lotion & Goya olive oil. my cup con overflow
lik bar beach water.
6. True true, beta life & mercy go de folo folo me 4 back till I quench and man pikin go stand fit lik
elephant 4 God house from lai lai till lai lai...

Apkors hired a vehicle to take a relative's corps home for burial around 1 am.
As they approached a regular police check point on their route,
Apkors asked the driver to stop and help unload the coffin from the Vehicle unto his head.
A very surprised driver tried to talk him out of it for fear of what the police will do to him at their check point. And the following conversation ensued between the Apkors, the driver and then the checkpoint policemen.
Driver; Oga those police no go gree you pass with that coffin
for ya head o
Apkors; No be me get my head and the coffin? I beg put di thing
for my head jo.
Driver; Na real trouble you wan put yaself so
Apkors; I beg come meet me for front after the check point.

Apkors walks towards the check point.

Police 1; hey you, stop there. Na wetin you carry for head
(pointing a touch in Apkors face)
Police 2; Hey no be coffin him carry so come here (cocking a gun at him)
Akpors: Yes o na my coffin. I no like yonder wey dem bury me so I wan go bury myself for another place.
All the police men at the check point scamper away so fast in fear some leaving their guns behind not to return for a long while

That was beautiful and lovely...LOL!

Well done OP more please

Little Akpors was crying standing outside his house.

A passer by asked: Why are you crying?

Akpors: My parents are fighting inside the house.

Passer by: Who is your father?

Akpors: That is what the fight is about.

GBAM!!

;Dkia...

borntofuck kip them coming

finally got reason to laff ;Dkia...

borntofuck kip them coming

finally got reason to laff

Apkors: mom, do angels fly ?
Mum: EHm... Yes.. They do but why do you ask ?
Apkors: yesterday, dad called our house girl an angel...
Apkos: will she fly?
Mum: Yes! She will fly back to her villiage tommorow morning

A man, after 'bedmatics' with his cook, exclaimed "Ekaite, you are sweeter than my wife!" She smiled and said "I know oga,
even Okon your driver dey always talk the same thing"

Akpors saw his father and mother in bed "at it" so he asked,
"daddy, what are you doing?"
His father replied,
"I am beating your mummy"

Akpors thought for a while (with a sad face) and said,
"Mama, but what offense at all have you committed in this house? Today four different men have beaten you, first was the gateman Idrissu, then Abuga the painter, that albino postman also beat youand now daddy, WHYYYYY?"

Akpors' father had a heart attack.

Akpors goes to the post office, he buys an envelope from the cashier and then screams into envelope.

The cashier asks him, "why are u screaming into the envelop"

Akpors answers,
"I am sending a voice mail"

Suzie: Nice phone baby. Where did you buy it?

Akpors: I won it in a running race!

Suzie: How many people participated?

Akpors: It was the MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME

Akpos was being chased by two men for one of his numerous crimes, Akpos ran into d forest and d men followed him into d forest. Akpos got into d forest and climbed a tree. The two men got to d tree where Akpos is and did not know where he ran to angrily one of d men said dis boy don escape again, d other man said, no worry I know dis boy he is just a mumu if I call his name like 3 times he must answer....
Akpos laughed from d tree and said to d men "hahahaha if u like call my name from now till next year I no go answer u, U think say na Akpos of before be dis?...=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°