Thanks so much guys for the advice. I have learnt a lot from here and I'll consider some of your options and make my home a sweet one. Thanks again.

It's amazing how much of an issue this is becoming. . . . a woman NOT having a job!

God originally intended for man to be the sole PROVIDER. Women are considered HOME-MAKERS and HELPERS; not am associate PROVIDER!

I really do not think men should make it a big deal that their wives do not work, afterall, taking care of the family, financially, is originally the man's sole responsibility!

why do you want to get married so quickly,I don't know your age, but it is good a lady gets a job before marriage because employers will surely discriminate against u. Furthermore, it all depend on your husband, is he very buoyant financially, to be able to take care of all your needs without complaining? what is his temperament level, cos when the chips are down, madam that is when you will understand men. Remember, anytime he doesn't have money you don't have either. you have to depend on him for every kobo you want to spend, ladies paraphernalia, money to your siblings your folks e.t.c.

But not so bad, you may decide to not get pregnant immediately after marriage and mount pressure to get a job or let him set you up in a small business if you have business acumen. I was once there for about 5years of my marriage, my sister u need a very mature hussy and Gods prayer.


But consider everything prayerfully, I wish you well.

you beta luk 4 something 2 do rather than be a liability 4 ur husband...
wait until he gets married n see how he`ll roar @ u

dammytosh: That you are not bringing money does not mean u are not adding to the family. I prefer a wife holding the house than a 50k per month salary earner. If u take extreme good care of the house and make sure everything is in place, he should place u on salary as if he empoyed some one to do dt for him.


After your marriage just try as much as possible :

1. Do not nag.
2. Do not conclude that everything happening in d house was as a result of u not having a job.
3. Do not leave things undone while watching dstv.
4. Be diligent,
5. Keep fit and don't explode (fat)
6. Use this time to read about being a wife and parenting
7. Time to give birth to ur first child.
8. Pick interest in whatever he is interested in d little time he spends at home. You watching superstory when Real Madrid is playing Barcelona will add to d time ur man will spend outside d home.
9. Be extra patient and dnt be unnecessarily sensitive.(that he has really changed thinking)
10. Time to know more about what he likes. Imagine u chatting ur baby dt is a politics freak and analyzing Michelle Obama's speech or u being the first to tell him Michael Essien has moved to Real Madrid.


The list continues ............ More about financing shortly.




- My Opinion.

.

OP please don't listen to this first class crap. He'll lead you astray. Please flee from the devil I beg you IJN, he is one. Without a JOB, you can NEVER earn that respect from your husband and even the society, you can NEVER be right in decision making at home, even in the kitchen, your husband sees you as a burden, maybe not immediately but later, its not healthy for a woman to be idle in marriage

I aint married, so, no experience. But i believe you should get something doing to support your hubby..its goino get tougher when the kids start coming.

And even if he can foot the bills alone (wt a crowd of kids) without complaining, you should still get a source of your own income..

That said..so, when/where e dey hapun na? Abi we no go shop rice? Congratulations in advance!!

elimokhai:

OP please don't listen to this first class crap. He'll lead you astray. Please flee from the devil I beg you IJN, he is one. Without a JOB, you can NEVER earn that respect from your husband and even the society, you can NEVER be right in decision making at home, even in the kitchen, your husband sees you as a burden, maybe not immediately but later, its not healthy for a woman to be idle in marriage

Sooooo NOT true!

Getting Married without a Job? For me its scary n since u ve always being an independent woman. I think you should try as much as possible to change ur situation because being married n jobless is frustrating. u will ask ur hubby for practically "everything", even somethings that you should be able to do, u will ask him give u money for it.

My advice is try get a job n help ur not only ur hubby but also ur future children.

maryini: My Sister bikonu...GO and LOOK for a JOB or start a trade!!! Don't say nobody warned you...cause when your hubby's eyes opens and he start resenting you for draining his financial resources and making no contribution to your family welfare we will hear another story. Your conscience is already giving you warning signals. Ignore at your peril.

Can't she help with her husband's business? I know many women who run their husbands' businesses and they are happy together. I have a friend that pays her wife monthly salary.

bigx:

You are not alone.

Stop copying the poster. Just drop your response.

stagger: The natural order is for the man to be the provider. So I do not see this as an issue. I would be more worried if the reverse was the case.

You are right on point. A man shouldnt even think of marriage when he has no job.

My wife no go suffer oo. Adam knew his work right from Eden so she should take care of the house and any other job i deem fit for her in my business.

scribble:

LMBO! Guy u talk am, but to be sincere there are some gems in the dirt that we call Nigeria, some really good women, with good hearts and great minds.

The overflow of devils taint their luster so much but they are there. May you find such a queen too my brother

They are 1 in a 100. Count yourself lucky if you get one like me.

@OP,this shows how hardwrking u r,I appreciate ladies like u,u do need a job nd datz gonna go a long way in building d kind of home u so desire,marriage has its ups n downs,u nvr can tell n alwaz xpect d unxpected,sumtyms u wud b shocked buh shits do happn...Hv an uncle hu is well 2 do,he had an hlth challnge,a complicated one @dat buh being dat his wyf z in d labour mkt,she took ovr, u deserve a job so dat d potential won't be wasted,it pays nofin 2 be a huz wyf,u need 2 get out n find sth 4 urself,I blv u r young 2 stay home all day long....Best of luck in ur marriage not 4get 2 give ur hubby his deserved attention,u know wat I mean #Chuckles#

sdiq: me never marry so i no fit talk jare

Because you dont make plans. Some people have planned their lives 5 years ahead of time.

I overhead my sweetheart telling her friend on phone that she hopes to marry next year, maybe because I was behaving uninterested. But i proposed to her 3weeks later telling her it will be in November, 2012. How does that sound

It doesn't seem sensible- but it has been said everything isn't straight forward. Your husband obviously knows you are without work I just hope he understands he is going to be taking care of the both of you.
IMO marriage should involve 2 income generating parties, esp with a Nigerian man simply because I can't imagine having to deal with any biases that might arrive as a result of the wife 'not working' or 'earning less' automatically turning her into a domestic housemaid whose only place is in the kitchen. Unless the husband is bastardly rich of course hey I did say everything isn't straight forward!

My dear,

Please try to get something doing.

Keep trying to get something doing, if not a job,

Then a business.

I really don't think its a very good idea for a man to provide everything.

And then please don't let this disturb your wedding plans!

Wishing you a successful wedding.

It is well dear

coogar:

so if it takes 10 yrs, she can sit back n do nothing for 10 yrs? come on, be realistic..... she doesn't have to be in a 9-5 to make income. there are plenty of stuff she can be doing by the side to make ends meet!



wait for 5 yrs to get a job? na chevron job? no wonder the average nigerian marriage is hubris these days. why wait 5 yrs to get a N50,000 per month job? this is nigeria we are talking about with no job security - let her go into business and make income instead of waiting forever at home piling up adipose tissues!

did u read biochemistry ? Guess why i said so ?

Ujujoan: It's amazing how much of an issue this is becoming. . . . a woman NOT having a job!

God originally intended for man to be the sole PROVIDER. Women are considered HOME-MAKERS and HELPERS; not am associate PROVIDER!

I really do not think men should make it a big deal that their wives do not work, afterall, taking care of the family, financially, is originally the man's sole responsibility!

Well, what can I say?
Since feminism demanded that women be accorded certain duties, privileges and responsibilities traditionally accorded to men, certain privileges accorded to women are no longer seen as necessary because women and men are one meant to share equal responsibilities notwithstanding the gender.

401kk:

Well, what can I say?
Since feminism demanded that women be accorded certain duties, privileges and responsibilities traditionally accorded to men, certain privileges accorded to women are no longer seen as necessary because women and men are one meant to share equal responsibilities notwithstanding the gender.

funny you are blaming 'feminism'!

Poster in no way suggests she is one!

Ujujoan:

funny you are blaming 'feminism'!

Poster in no way suggests she is one!

I'm not saying she's a feminist and I know she isn't. I'm just pointing out why its "much of an issue" in these modern times.

dammytosh: That you are not bringing money does not mean u are not adding to the family. I prefer a wife holding the house than a 50k per month salary earner. If u take extreme good care of the house and make sure everything is in place, he should place u on salary as if he empoyed some one to do dt for him.


After your marriage just try as much as possible :

1. Do not nag.
2. Do not conclude that everything happening in d house was as a result of u not having a job.
3. Do not leave things undone while watching dstv.
4. Be diligent,
5. Keep fit and don't explode (fat)
6. Use this time to read about being a wife and parenting
7. Time to give birth to ur first child.
8. Pick interest in whatever he is interested in d little time he spends at home. You watching superstory when Real Madrid is playing Barcelona will add to d time ur man will spend outside d home.
9. Be extra patient and dnt be unnecessarily sensitive.(that he has really changed thinking)
10. Time to know more about what he likes. Imagine u chatting ur baby dt is a politics freak and analyzing Michelle Obama's speech or u being the first to tell him Michael Essien has moved to Real Madrid.


The list continues ............ More about financing shortly.




- My Opinion.

.

wack advice. its time for wives to be industrious and productive. the era of housewives/sit-at-home mums is gone.Imagine, a family with 5 kids the man is a security man while the wife doesn't do anything; as at of now only their 1st child goes to school.

nicesunshine:
wack advice. its time for wives to be industrious and productive. the era of housewives/sit-at-home mums is gone.Imagine, a family with 5 kids the man is a security man while the wife doesn't do anything; as at of now only their 1st child goes to school.

elimokhai:

OP please don't listen to this first class crap. He'll lead you astray. Please flee from the devil I beg you IJN, he is one. Without a JOB, you can NEVER earn that respect from your husband and even the society, you can NEVER be right in decision making at home, even in the kitchen, your husband sees you as a burden, maybe not immediately but later, its not healthy for a woman to be idle in marriage

You are getting it wrong. She did not say she will never work but pending the time she is not doing anything and she needs to keep the family together some simple things should be done. Except you are of the opinion that irrespective of your age as long as you are jobless, you should not marry.

Or if 3years into marriage, your company folds up and you are sacked, you will walk out of your marriage until u get a job years later.

It is the guy's job to take good care of her whether she has a job or not.

Nobody is saying she must not work and not working should not in anyway reduce respect if not for our bloated ego and useless African Men mentality we carry about.

Like i said if you read between the lines, i will prefer my wife at home to her doing a 50k permonth job in Lagos that after transport fare and lunch she will be oweing everybody in her office and transfer the aggression to me.

There are better ways she would add to my life than the money.

okpara ugo:

Stop copying the poster. Just drop your response.

Stop copying me. Just drop your response.

Hi! On reading your posts, i realised that u may have the urge to need to do something for yourself. The truth is, i do not have a job for you but i surely know that a direct selling business is what you need. Be it as it may, u can conatact me via e-mail: uyorabi@gmail.com.

I also understand from ur profile that u are based in prt-harcourt, a few business partners of mine will be hosting seminars there on d 22nd of september,2012. will communicate the venue to u.

.

It depends on your understanding sha else your partner might underrate, mistreat or disrespect you if you're wholly dependent on him..here's a lil somfin for y'all, check my signature.

uyorabi: Hi! On reading your posts, i realised that u may have the urge to need to do something for yourself. The truth is, i do not have a job for you but i surely know that a direct selling business is what you need. Be it as it may, u can conatact me via e-mail: uyorabi@gmail.com.

I also understand from ur profile that u are based in prt-harcourt, a few business partners of mine will be hosting seminars there on d 22nd of september,2012. will communicate the venue to u.

Thanks for your concern..I'll email you asap

cheksbry: well...i could link you up to a homebased job if you are interested...heres my email...cheksbry@gmail.com

Thanks i do appreciate your help. I'll contact you asap

Ujujoan: It's amazing how much of an issue this is becoming. . . . a woman NOT having a job!

God originally intended for man to be the sole PROVIDER. Women are considered HOME-MAKERS and HELPERS; not am associate PROVIDER!

I really do not think men should make it a big deal that their wives do not work, afterall, taking care of the family, financially, is originally the man's sole responsibility!

I take it then that you wouldn't marry a man who is incapable for of catering for your needs even if you love him to pieces!!?

Depends on the understanding existing between you.
My wife was unemployed when we married in Nov.97
Our daughter, born in Dec 98 got the best attention as a result.
My wife was able to attend to the baby full time and breastfed her(without any supplement) for one & half years.
Even today, my wife is glad and appreciates the fact that she had that opportunity to give her that level of care.
Our daughter is 14 now and was ill only once in her life and she recovered within 3 days.
My wife is employed now,over 12 years in employment but no additional baby has come since.
That is our own experience.
There is nothing wrong in your case as long as it is temporary and your husband fills the gap meanwhile.

Ujujoan:

Sooooo NOT true!

defined true