This is a complex and difficult topic, i believed the best person to treat this topic properly should be somebody that has been in the school of marriage for at least a decade, an individual that has exprienced the ups and downs in courtship before proceeding to the altar.

I don't even know where to start because the following relationship terms have caused heated controversy so much that many youths ended up more confused: dating, courtship, wedding, marriage.

The truth is, marriage is a vow, and those words called vows, that are read to the would be couples on the day of the wedding are just like a covenant made between a man and woman or an initiation into an unending relatioship that only death can seperate them, not even infidelity or any other reason whatsoever. You may ask why? The reason is that the two people involve have made a promise or a pledge, termed vows, that they will be together until death do them part. Infidelity or unfaithfulnes is not an issue. So, it is a serious matter. It is huge and neccessary risk one has to take in life. It is as delicate as handling an egg. Once it is broken, the scar will never be removed. Then you start hearing my "ex".

When i wanted to get married, i made up my mind, i will only marry the person that God has chosen for me, no other person, except the one God has assigned for me. It was a tough decision. Hard, i mean very hard decision that came with a lot of discouragement, test, trials and powerful temptations from sisters. The Lord made it happen for me because i was desperate for the will of God, the resolution was, if i don't hear from God, i will not marry. God had to test me. What did he do? I prayed, i saw a sister, and i proceeded to inform the leader in the church, the sister was told, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a failure. I continued with my Job for about 4 To 5 yrs, until the appointed time. As usual, i sought the face of God in 3 days fasting and prayers with Vigils. The problem was that God was talking and i was not getting the sign, so, i thought, God was not speaking. I broke the fast to continue the the next day, i started again, after the six days, God spoke to me about my wife, it was a great experience, up till now, after ten years, i can never forget that divine ministration on my heart. Now, you may begin to ask, how did the sister or my wife received her own conviction? She was also involve in prayer, God spoke to her, and she went on to inform the leader of the church, they called me and i responded in the affirmative. I have done my homework. The rest is history. The marriage is still wonderful by the GRACE OF GOD.


Now, why am i telling you my experience? I am telling the christian singles that are still searching, that Good thing does not come easily, it takes time. Whichever way you look at it, you need GOD, when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Why do you want to marry? Is it because others are getting married and you are lagging behind? A big NO. Are your parent pressurizing you? Do not allow them. Have you just graduated and you feel that the next thing to do is to wed. A big mistake.

First thing first, be happy that you are still single, i repeat it, celebrate your time of single, it is the priviledge given to you by God. Why? You have enough time to get ready for the greatest event that is coming, YOUR MARRIAGE. It is time to PREPARE for marriage. What do you do?


Develop a good relatioship with God. It is very vital because you will need God before your marriage and in your marriage. Not only that, marriage is an institution established by God. Without God, your preparation is zero as a christian single. Love God with passion, work for God, do the work of evangelism, give your money for the establishment of the Kingdom of God on earth. While doing the will of God, you can be sure, you will be highly favoured.
Let's open the Book of all Books, the BIBLE, Proverb 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtain favour of the Lord"
So, when it comes to choosing a life partner, you need the favour of God. Do something for God today. It will go a long way. The same thing is applicable to the sisters.

Books,Books,Books. You have to read. Why do you have to read books on courtship and marriage? You need to learn about this ancient institution called marriage. Learn from those people that have succeded in marriage. Examine their mistakes and errors. Work on these things. Be knowledgeable about what you are about to do. Read at leats five books on courtship and marriage. You need knowledge to excel in marriage. Wisdom is the correct application of knowledge. You need a great deal of knowledge to stay together as husband and wife.

Again, i ask why marriage in the first place. The reason is to fulfill God's purpose for your life. God created marriage to meet needs. There is a gap that only your spouse can fill, Genesis 2:18c" i will make him an help meet for him"

wait for part 2.

Good thing we have the christian approach to relationship on this section. I celebrate you sir.

ur post is insightful.wish peep will consider it seriously.But its a very difficult thing to remain focused on purpose for marriage when as a single xtian sis u are already 35.the only thing that matters @ that point is "get married" which is wrong I supposed.May GOD help us both single bros & sis

lillyveezy: ur post is insightful.wish peep will consider it seriously.But its a very difficult thing to remain focused on purpose for marriage when as a single xtian sis u are already 35.the only thing that matters @ that point is "get married" which is wrong I supposed.May GOD help us both single bros & sis

I just realised how much work I have to do before I settle down.M only 22 and all my friends have steady relationships m lacking behind.But its all in the goodness of the Lord because one thing I know is a man without God,nomatter how,rich,educated,handsome and the likes if he is not a man who fears God/would choose God before me is the man I can live without.

^ ^ ^ just stay focused. Work and develop yourself and above all, fear God. The right/perfect man will show up someday (it may be anyone)..with 100% convictions. One thing God hates is hypocrisy. But when your dependant on Him, I tell you..he will never fail..

Acidosis: ^ ^ ^ just stay focused. Work and develop yourself and above all, fear God. The right/perfect man will show up someday (it may be anyone)..with 100% convictions. One thing God hates is hypocrisy. But when your dependant on Him, I tell you..he will never fail..

sometimes I just think m over doing it.Maybe m too welcomin

Proverbs 24vs3:By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is establish.
I concur with all the op wrote.Acquiring knowledge is very vital,divorce is very predictable.
People are just so eager to get engage without even discovering their purpose.

HumbledbYGrace: I just realised how much work I have to do before I settle down.M only 22 and all my friends have steady relationships m lacking behind.But its all in the goodness of the Lord because one thing I know is a man without God,nomatter how,rich,educated,handsome and the likes if he is not a man who fears God/would choose God before me is the man I can live without.

You are not alone,am 21 and am still yet to have my first relationship.My best friend always tells me,the more eager I am about getting into a relationship the more unprepared for the relationship I am(that simply means am attaching a lot of importance to the relationship).I have made up my mind to be a blessing to my partner,so all am doing is just enjoying my singleness,concentrating on my degree,working on my goals,reading books on relationship etc.
So have fun.

k2039:
You are not alone,am 21 and am still yet to have my first relationship.My best friend always tells me,the more eager I am about getting into a relationship the more unprepared for the relationship I am(that simply means am attaching a lot of importance to the relationship).I have made up my mind to be a blessing to my partner,so all am doing is just enjoying my singleness,concentrating on my degree,working on my goals,reading books on relationship etc.
So have fun.

m glad and happy to know that m nt in this alone

It is well. Let me tell u a story. 2 farmers wer praying 2 God 2 send rain 2 them. One wil wakeup early in d morning go to d farm,clear d land,prepare d ridge, decorate d plants. While d oda stayed at home, slept off expectn d rain. When God later sent the rain,1 ws prepared 2 receive it yl d oda wsn't.
This story changed my approach. GOD IS NT A WASTER, he wil never give u what wil kill u. If he sends u d wife/husband wil u be able to keep,maintain,cherish her?
@op thank 4 dis piece.

Acidosis: ^ ^ ^ just stay focused. Work and develop yourself and above all, fear God. The right/perfect man will show up someday (it may be anyone)..with 100% convictions. One thing God hates is hypocrisy. But when your dependant on Him, I tell you..he will never fail..

Great insight there bro.

beylinko: It is well. Let me tell u a story. 2 farmers wer praying 2 God 2 send rain 2 them. One wil wakeup early in d morning go to d farm,clear d land,prepare d ridge, decorate d plants. While d oda stayed at home, slept off expectn d rain. When God later sent the rain,1 ws prepared 2 receive it yl d oda wsn't.
This story changed my approach. GOD IS NT A WASTER, he wil never give u what wil kill u. If he sends u d wife/husband wil u be able to keep,maintain,cherish her?
@op thank 4 dis piece.

A looot θf wisdom in this!

HumbledbYGrace: sometimes I just think m over doing it.Maybe m too welcomin

You should read the above quote again. You can never really prepare too much. From experience, I have learnt that the extent θf your preparation will attract the kind θf opportunity you seek and will also help you to retain and make the most θf it. So just keep maximising your singlehood because no thoroughly baked brother would go for a halfbaked sister. Remember God calls the woman the helpmeet, if you are not on the same frequency with the one you are to help, you would become a liabilty rather than the asset you were designed to be.

k2039:
You are not alone,am 21 and am still yet to have my first relationship.My best friend always tells me,the more eager I am about getting into a relationship the more unprepared for the relationship I am(that simply means am attaching a lot of importance to the relationship).I have made up my mind to be a blessing to my partner,so all am doing is just enjoying my singleness,concentrating on my degree,working on my goals,reading books on relationship etc.
So have fun.

See what I mean? You can't tell me that this dude will settle for just any pretty thing after all the investment he has made on himself! Miss pretty has got to have the corresponding substance that resonates with his. Once again, I say singlehood is a temporary period θf investment on self! Maximize it.

Thanks for ur words of encouragement.while waiting and praying on d lord for 'gods choice'.d only thing i kept hearing was dis verse 'trust in d lord with all ur heart and lean not upon ur own understanding,in all ur ways acknowledge him and he shall direct ur path (not friends,family or society) and God remains d wisest person who sees things dat can happen in marriage 1o yrs afta weding dat we cant see.am not yet married though,but am still leaning on God cos he remains my unconditional lover,i advise christian sisters not to be moved by things u can see and like d bible says who can find a faithful man,certainly u cant find him on ur own wisdom alone,because flesh will fail u.d man u tot u knew and was too impatient to wait to hear from God,could turn out to b a beast in human clothing

A girl must have Christ first so that having her will also mean having Christ. A relationship without Christ will crash!

Pls God does not give people wife. U jst quoted proverbs which say "he who findeth a wife" and not he whom I giveth a wife.

What are d signs that God was giving to you that made u realize the she is your wife? How did God speak with u and the girl u married. Pls tell me what God actually said to u and stop being ambigous. Didn't u like her when u saw her? Was it God that forced u to like her. If the marriage is working perfectly are u not making effort to make it work? Are u jsut sitting down and God is makin it work? Aint there hard times? Is it a perfect r/ship since she was sent from God?

Look my friend it takes ur both effort and understanding and likeness and respect, patience, Christian virtues etc for relationship to work. God only blessd it, just the way ur parents blesseed ur marriage. The rest is up to u.

jammyng: A girl must have Christ first so that having her will also mean having Christ. A relationship without Christ will crash!

Pls stop talking anyhow because u are a Christian. Look around u, there are so many relationships that are witout Christ that have not crashed. Christ does not make marriege work, people do.

Even my hausa neighbour has four wives and it has not crashed. Stop living in denaial

frank3.16:


Pls stop talking anyhow because u are a Christian. Look around u, there are so many relationships that are witout Christ that have not crashed. Christ does not make marriege work, people do.

Even my hausa neighbour has four wives and it has not crashed. Stop living in denaial

that is just your opinion just like i've expressed mine! you can decide to have as many wives as you deem fit but know you're living in sin. And dont wait until you see a physical manifestation of a 'crash' before you believe a relationship isn't working!

@ Frank The Bible from Genesis to Revelations never says "figure it out."But over and over again it says "Trust God." He has already figured it out.
To begin, the Scripture affirms that life begins at conception. Psalm 139:13-16 states, “For you formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.” The plain sense of this biblical text coupled with the fact that an omniscient, omnipotent God is the personal Creator of all life clearly mandates that life begins at conception.So knowing that God created us for his own purpose we have to know that even the man/woman we marry/or gonna marry is made for us by him.

From birth we are already chosen a path but as we grow up,we hv a tendancy of going astray,doing things the way the world does and never minding God but if we turn away from sin and seek God then we will find that his perfect plans for our future still remains.

Believers and unbelievers see life in a different way so I wouldn't argue with you for saying ur neighbour has four wives and they r stll working because us Believers don't share a man/women.when God created Eve he didn't say Adam needed a lot of females around him but he said he needed his other half,a companion and a friend.

When there was a great flood in Noah's time God said One male and one female not five females and one male.For a man should leave his mother and father and become one with his wife.

But its end times and the devil is at work but what I won't let him do and play mind games with my life,Never!

I am not sayin we shuld sin and forget God. All I know is thatGod created everybody and cannot say, another is not good for u. He loves us all and expects us to mk decision and bear d consequences. Even if u marry street prostitutte and both of u decide to make d marriage work it will work.

We Christians must understand that we are not the only ones on earth. A lot of born again sisters in churches are getting old while waiting for their so calld God sent husband. perhaps God does not want them to marry early. Pls we are proactive pple in this world. We see people, fall inlove and marry them. If it does not work out its our fault and nt Gods.

I am still waitin for the poster to tell me how God told him that the lady he married was his wife.

Iam happy reading this post. Patience and trust in God cannot be over emphasized when you really want to get the best. Many people become impatient and end up not getting the very best and then trouble and disappointments follow

frank3.16:
I am still waitin for the poster to tell me how God told him that the lady he married was his wife.

Are u insinuating that God does not speak?

dagr8:
Are u insinuating that God does not speak?

God speaks bt we are making a caricature of the whole thing, everybody now claims God speaks to him. If we decide what we intend to do, we say its God speaking.

How many people did God speak to in the bible and told them the woman to marry or not to marry?

Let the poster come and tell me how God spoke to him and told him the woman to marry. God didn't jst appear to every Tom dickk and Harry in the bible even on marriage issues.

frank3.16:


God speaks bt we are making a caricature of the whole thing, everybody now claims God speaks to him. If we decide what we intend to do, we say its God speaking.

How many people did God speak to in the bible and told them the woman to marry or not to marry?

Let the poster come and tell me how God spoke to him and told him the woman to marry. God didn't jst appear to every Tom dickk and Harry in the bible even on marriage issues.

God bless you for this.. A lot of peeps just over rate relationships and marriages.. So you wanna tell me that pagans don't have successful relationships or atheists? Or some pastors (that claim God spoke to them) don't have failed relationships??
So God now speaks on every trivial matter? I think if a relationship is to work out depends on both parties and not your so called pastor or church..it depends on you the effort you put into the relationship.
Me thinks the God that placed pheromones in human beings knows that we ought to attract each other(I know lust exists too) but if we just go beyond the facade of lust and just build relationships on mutual, trust, love, and hope it will work out... I think that is better than waiting till ya 39yrs old and still' waiting on the lord' IMHO.

I knew it. People will always disagree. Anyway, that is life.

Who established marriage? God. Again, Genesis 2:18 " And the Lord said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I- I- I- WILL MAKE HIM AN HELP MEET FOR HiM."

SO, why should God be put aside when it comes to choosing your life partner. Why?

Proverb 18:22 " whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord"
YES, you can decide to do whatever you like, it is up to you, it is your choice. Obama was lucky to have a good wife, clinton said, a great sense by obama to pick a girl in a car that was rusted out. I am not disputing it. Man is mysterious in nature. We are different. Some are highly intelligent, some are not that smart. At times, Our judgement in terms of decision making as to who to marry can put us in serious trouble. WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT WHAT YOU NEED. For example, you admire a beautiful sister in your church, but God said, you need a sister, who is not ugly but at the same time not so beautiful, averagely, so to say. God is saying that beautiful sister is a serpent under sheep cloth. You are saying the Bible says, 'he that findeth a wife' therefore, i do not need God to speak to me, i know what i am doing, like Samson in the Bible, i must marry her. Ah! AH! AH!, you are playing with fire. God is saying, i have a great sister for you, not perfect, but she will be a good wife. God is saying, i will make everything glorious, if you continue to obey me, after the marriage.

How did God speak to me? Infact, i do not know why it is a strange thing for God to speak people concerning marriage. Guys, IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL. How can the creator find it difficult to speak to the men he created. How? I want you to check out this thread on how God speaks:
www.nairaland.com/831812/how-god-speaks

God spoke to me by impressing the name of my wife in my heart. A great impression. It kept on resounding in my heart continually. I guess it was as a result of the fasting. The fasting really helped me.

As for where God did it for people in the Bible. If you can read the whole of Genesis chapter 24. It will answer your question. If you are not convince then wait for part 2.

@Frank3:16, I couldn't agree more with you. You nailed it all and I loved your approach to this whole marriage thingy especially for Christians. A lot of people have walked into terrible marriages because they FELT they heard from God. Most have made mistakes with these over zealousness of I must hear from God and ended up marrying people they never loved or understood. However, I do agree with the poster that without God nothing can be possible or right but I also Belive God has God has given us our own minds to choose what is right. And please Mr Poster, am really interested on how u heard from God about your marriage and if there were signs that followed. This isn't to ridicule you but ur insight may help others waiting for such unique revelations. Bless you.

Many years ago, one of my ex-girlfriends told me that God has spoken to her about us. She said that God has specifically told her that I was the one she would get married to. I was yet to be an Atheist then, so I wondered how come God only spoke to her and did not speak to me. . .; suffice it to say that it turned out to be the worst relationship episode I ever had.

Ladies and Gents, a so-called higher being has no role to play in decisions made amongst human beings. The earlier we recognize that we are in total control of our lives, the better for us. I like to think that I make my decisions via a carefully and logically thought out process of analysis, this process leaves no room for input by a supernatural deity. I don't believe in the existence of a God anywhere; but even if a God were to exist, I totally believe that it will be foolhardy for this God to ignore the pains of the 25,000 children who die everyday in Africa due to starvation and disease, but concentrate him/herself with who a random Joe/Jane chooses to be a partner.

God2man: I knew it. People will always disagree. Anyway, that is life.

Who established marriage? God. Again, Genesis 2:18 " And the Lord said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I- I- I- WILL MAKE HIM AN HELP MEET FOR HiM."

SO, why should God be put aside when it comes to choosing your life partner. Why?

Proverb 18:22 " whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord"
YES, you can decide to do whatever you like, it is up to you, it is your choice. Obama was lucky to have a good wife, clinton said, a great sense by obama to pick a girl in a car that was rusted out. I am not disputing it. Man is mysterious in nature. We are different. Some are highly intelligent, some are not that smart. At times, Our judgement in terms of decision making as to who to marry can put us in serious trouble. WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT WHAT YOU NEED. For example, you admire a beautiful sister in your church, but God said, you need a sister, who is not ugly but at the same time not so beautiful, averagely, so to say. God is saying that beautiful sister is a serpent under sheep cloth. You are saying the Bible says, 'he that findeth a wife' therefore, i do not need God to speak to me, i know what i am doing, like Samson in the Bible, i must marry her. Ah! AH! AH!, you are playing with fire. God is saying, i have a great sister for you, not perfect, but she will be a good wife. God is saying, i will make everything glorious, if you continue to obey me, after the marriage.

How did God speak to me? Infact, i do not know why it is a strange thing for God to speak people concerning marriage. Guys, IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL. How can the creator find it difficult to speak to the men he created. How? I want you to check out this thread on how God speaks:
www.nairaland.com/831812/how-god-speaks

God spoke to me by impressing the name of my wife in my heart. A great impression. It kept on resounding in my heart continually. I guess it was as a result of the fasting. The fasting really helped me.

As for where God did it for people in the Bible. If you can read the whole of Genesis chapter 24. It will answer your question. If you are not convince then wait for part 2.

Hmnnn.. I'm not trying to be sarcastic here, but I would love you to answer my questions, I'm a christian and I delight in describing myself as an open minded christian open to logic, reason e.t.c.
1) The name you heard, are you sure it was not your mind just thinking about the sister thereby giving an impression that you are hearing from God?
2) The term hearing in itself as described in the bible(not the adulterated one we see these days) implies the recipient hearing loud and clear the voice of God and not just 'God laying it in my heart'
I still have more questions but I rest my case for now and would love if you could answer the ones above. Thanks.

Gracious10: @Frank3:16, I couldn't agree more with you. You nailed it all and I loved your approach to this whole marriage thingy especially for Christians. A lot of people have walked into terrible marriages because they FELT they heard from God. Most have made mistakes with these over zealousness of I must hear from God and ended up marrying people they never loved or understood. However, I do agree with the poster that without God nothing can be possible or right but I also Belive God has God has given us our own minds to choose what is right. And please Mr Poster, am really interested on how u heard from God about your marriage and if there were signs that followed. This isn't to ridicule you but ur insight may help others waiting for such unique revelations. Bless you.

My thoughts exactly, its the extremism and hypocrisy that accompanies 'hearing from God' that I do not support. So many people ignore some physical characteristics such as aggresiveness, incompability, attraction and just 'dive' into the marriage claiming I heard from God/My pastor.

God2man: This is a complex and difficult topic, i believed the best person to treat this topic properly should be somebody that has been in the school of marriage for at least a decade, an individual that has exprienced the ups and downs in courtship before proceeding to the altar.

I don't even know where to start because the following relationship terms have caused heated controversy so much that many youths ended up more confused: dating, courtship, wedding, marriage.

The truth is, marriage is a vow, and those words called vows, that are read to the would be couples on the day of the wedding are just like a covenant made between a man and woman or an initiation into an unending relatioship that only death can seperate them, not even infidelity or any other reason whatsoever. You may ask why? The reason is that the two people involve have made a promise or a pledge, termed vows, that they will be together until death do them part. Infidelity or unfaithfulnes is not an issue. So, it is a serious matter. It is huge and neccessary risk one has to take in life. It is as delicate as handling an egg. Once it is broken, the scar will never be removed. Then you start hearing my "ex".

When i wanted to get married, i made up my mind, i will only marry the person that God has chosen for me, no other person, except the one God has assigned for me. It was a tough decision. Hard, i mean very hard decision that came with a lot of discouragement, test, trials and powerful temptations from sisters. The Lord made it happen for me because i was desperate for the will of God, the resolution was, if i don't hear from God, i will not marry. God had to test me. What did he do? I prayed, i saw a sister, and i proceeded to inform the leader in the church, the sister was told, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a failure. I continued with my Job for about 4 To 5 yrs, until the appointed time. As usual, i sought the face of God in 3 days fasting and prayers with Vigils. The problem was that God was talking and i was not getting the sign, so, i thought, God was not speaking. I broke the fast to continue the the next day, i started again, after the six days, God spoke to me about my wife, it was a great experience, up till now, after ten years, i can never forget that divine ministration on my heart. Now, you may begin to ask, how did the sister or my wife received her own conviction? She was also involve in prayer, God spoke to her, and she went on to inform the leader of the church, they called me and i responded in the affirmative. I have done my homework. The rest is history. The marriage is still wonderful by the GRACE OF GOD.


Now, why am i telling you my experience? I am telling the christian singles that are still searching, that Good thing does not come easily, it takes time. Whichever way you look at it, you need GOD, when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Why do you want to marry? Is it because others are getting married and you are lagging behind? A big NO. Are your parent pressurizing you? Do not allow them. Have you just graduated and you feel that the next thing to do is to wed. A big mistake.

First thing first, be happy that you are still single, i repeat it, celebrate your time of single, it is the priviledge given to you by God. Why? You have enough time to get ready for the greatest event that is coming, YOUR MARRIAGE. It is time to PREPARE for marriage. What do you do?


Develop a good relatioship with God. It is very vital because you will need God before your marriage and in your marriage. Not only that, marriage is an institution established by God. Without God, your preparation is zero as a christian single. Love God with passion, work for God, do the work of evangelism, give your money for the establishment of the Kingdom of God on earth. While doing the will of God, you can be sure, you will be highly favoured.
Let's open the Book of all Books, the BIBLE, Proverb 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtain favour of the Lord"
So, when it comes to choosing a life partner, you need the favour of God. Do something for God today. It will go a long way. The same thing is applicable to the sisters.

Books,Books,Books. You have to read. Why do you have to read books on courtship and marriage? You need to learn about this ancient institution called marriage. Learn from those people that have succeded in marriage. Examine their mistakes and errors. Work on these things. Be knowledgeable about what you are about to do. Read at leats five books on courtship and marriage. You need knowledge to excel in marriage. Wisdom is the correct application of knowledge. You need a great deal of knowledge to stay together as husband and wife.

Again, i ask why marriage in the first place. The reason is to fulfill God's purpose for your life. God created marriage to meet needs. There is a gap that only your spouse can fill, Genesis 2:18c" i will make him an help meet for him"

wait for part 2.

grate one man. I don't know if u are comfortable wit communication via mail. I will luv 2 discuss some tins. My e-mail is okiesdavid@yahoo.com

God2man: This is a complex and difficult topic, i believed the best person to treat this topic properly should be somebody that has been in the school of marriage for at least a decade, an individual that has exprienced the ups and downs in courtship before proceeding to the altar.

I don't even know where to start because the following relationship terms have caused heated controversy so much that many youths ended up more confused: dating, courtship, wedding, marriage.

The truth is, marriage is a vow, and those words called vows, that are read to the would be couples on the day of the wedding are just like a covenant made between a man and woman or an initiation into an unending relatioship that only death can seperate them, not even infidelity or any other reason whatsoever. You may ask why? The reason is that the two people involve have made a promise or a pledge, termed vows, that they will be together until death do them part. Infidelity or unfaithfulnes is not an issue. So, it is a serious matter. It is huge and neccessary risk one has to take in life. It is as delicate as handling an egg. Once it is broken, the scar will never be removed. Then you start hearing my "ex".

When i wanted to get married, i made up my mind, i will only marry the person that God has chosen for me, no other person, except the one God has assigned for me. It was a tough decision. Hard, i mean very hard decision that came with a lot of discouragement, test, trials and powerful temptations from sisters. The Lord made it happen for me because i was desperate for the will of God, the resolution was, if i don't hear from God, i will not marry. God had to test me. What did he do? I prayed, i saw a sister, and i proceeded to inform the leader in the church, the sister was told, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a failure. I continued with my Job for about 4 To 5 yrs, until the appointed time. As usual, i sought the face of God in 3 days fasting and prayers with Vigils. The problem was that God was talking and i was not getting the sign, so, i thought, God was not speaking. I broke the fast to continue the the next day, i started again, after the six days, God spoke to me about my wife, it was a great experience, up till now, after ten years, i can never forget that divine ministration on my heart. Now, you may begin to ask, how did the sister or my wife received her own conviction? She was also involve in prayer, God spoke to her, and she went on to inform the leader of the church, they called me and i responded in the affirmative. I have done my homework. The rest is history. The marriage is still wonderful by the GRACE OF GOD.


Now, why am i telling you my experience? I am telling the christian singles that are still searching, that Good thing does not come easily, it takes time. Whichever way you look at it, you need GOD, when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Why do you want to marry? Is it because others are getting married and you are lagging behind? A big NO. Are your parent pressurizing you? Do not allow them. Have you just graduated and you feel that the next thing to do is to wed. A big mistake.

First thing first, be happy that you are still single, i repeat it, celebrate your time of single, it is the priviledge given to you by God. Why? You have enough time to get ready for the greatest event that is coming, YOUR MARRIAGE. It is time to PREPARE for marriage. What do you do?


Develop a good relatioship with God. It is very vital because you will need God before your marriage and in your marriage. Not only that, marriage is an institution established by God. Without God, your preparation is zero as a christian single. Love God with passion, work for God, do the work of evangelism, give your money for the establishment of the Kingdom of God on earth. While doing the will of God, you can be sure, you will be highly favoured.
Let's open the Book of all Books, the BIBLE, Proverb 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtain favour of the Lord"
So, when it comes to choosing a life partner, you need the favour of God. Do something for God today. It will go a long way. The same thing is applicable to the sisters.

Books,Books,Books. You have to read. Why do you have to read books on courtship and marriage? You need to learn about this ancient institution called marriage. Learn from those people that have succeded in marriage. Examine their mistakes and errors. Work on these things. Be knowledgeable about what you are about to do. Read at leats five books on courtship and marriage. You need knowledge to excel in marriage. Wisdom is the correct application of knowledge. You need a great deal of knowledge to stay together as husband and wife.

Again, i ask why marriage in the first place. The reason is to fulfill God's purpose for your life. God created marriage to meet needs. There is a gap that only your spouse can fill, Genesis 2:18c" i will make him an help meet for him"

wait for part 2.

grate one man. I don't know if u are comfortable wit communication via mail. I will luv 2 discuss some tins wit u. My e-mail is okiesdavid@yahoo.com
if u accept, mail me n i we ask u some tins.

frank3.16:
Pls God does not give people wife. U jst quoted proverbs which say "he who findeth a wife" and not he whom I giveth a wife.

What are d signs that God was giving to you that made u realize the she is your wife? How did God speak with u and the girl u married. Pls tell me what God actually said to u and stop being ambigous. Didn't u like her when u saw her? Was it God that forced u to like her. If the marriage is working perfectly are u not making effort to make it work? Are u jsut sitting down and God is makin it work? Aint there hard times? Is it a perfect r/ship since she was sent from God?

Look my friend it takes ur both effort and understanding and likeness and respect, patience, Christian virtues etc for relationship to work. God only blessd it, just the way ur parents blesseed ur marriage. The rest is up to u.

Your head is very correct!
But sometimes, GOD choose for pple too sha. I like ur dimension anyway.