Buy him snuff and cook pepper soup for him always and you will become his best friend.

Give your father in-law enough garri. He go understand. #Garri-revenge.

@OP,do always give him fried meat?

Billyonaire: Buy him snuff and cook pepper soup for him always and you will become his best friend.

enough fried meat would do the magic-believe me

Even a lion in the Jungle can be tamed
Same goes for your FIL........
His families attitude (gossiping behind him) is contributing to the problem, So don't follow their example
MY ADVICE -----Give him as much love and attention as possible...(gifts, phone calls, REAL respect, Try to befriend him) in time he'll love u in turn

As for the way he talks, just realize everyone comes from a differing background...... Simply Tolerate it (People that speak their mind like him are not usually known to hold grudges)
It might take some time but in time he'd reciprocate and treat you right...

Does your FIL live with you or how come you are in contact with him regularly?

If he doesnt live with you, then I dont think its too hard to pretend/suck it in for the few minutes you are with him

Trying to confront him is looking for trouble cos everything would be poured on your head even those you also think are tired of him would bone and turn against you. Even your own parents wont support you confronting your FIL. He is the head of the large Family

From the look of things,I think your husband is the problem. He should act like a man enough to put his father where he rightly belong. I know this parent overprotective attitude is unbearable but there is nothing you can do, if the man you call husband can't bail you out by standing up to his father to quit his overprotective attitude.
Mind you, any step you may want to take to correct your father in law may jeopardize your marriage. Bear it till your husband act like a real man

[color=#770077][/color]u nid God ma dear

That can be soo annoying! Do u want him beaten up? I can help u arrange some boys, they will teach him to behave. No body wud know u did it!

friedmeat:

enough fried meat would do the magic-believe me

I wonder why people dont just know simple tricks you need to use to handle situations. Treat people the way they are, do not try to change them. Tell the old man, he is the Boss. Give him fried meat, garri with better soup and snuff if he indulges. The man will start worshiping her and telling her secrets.

You knew what you were getting into from the beginning, but you chose to ignore it - now you're crying foul... You married an overgrown baby a la man-youth, deal with it - or get a divorce... I bet you didn't cry foul when the father-in-law was showering you with gifts and giving the man-youth weekly allowance, and allowing him to drive his cars...

Keep playing victim and the blame game.

lauyan Abuja: Give your father In Law some Ota pia pia. That will keep him quiet for good. And you will have rest and peace of mind!

Na wao

lauyan Abuja: Give your father In Law some Ota pia pia. That will keep him quiet for good. And you will have rest and peace of mind!

Na wao

Billyonaire: I wonder why people dont just know simple tricks you need to use to handle situations. Treat people the way they are, do not try to change them. Tell the old man, he is the Boss. Give him fried meat, garri with better soup and snuff if he indulges. The man will start worshiping her and telling her secrets.

You are always a wise man

Hope u are not living on the same roof with him? If so u must have your family outside of his

The best way 2 handle such a person is 2 always concur 2 whatever they do whether it pleases u or not cos countering there opinion can lead 2 another.

2mch: Did you get married to a boy still living in his parents house? Are both of you dependent on the parents? If this is true, you better keep quiet and take it since he is feeding you. Either that or you risk having the whole family turn on you with your need to correct a grand father. Keep out of his way if it is too much for you. Am sure your presence or family dependence on him is annoying too. If you don't rely on him for anything, then keep your opinions to yourself. Am sure you have bigger issues to worry about.

e be like say we be twins , abeg colect one bottle .

chaircover:

God bless you Mac.

Baba has probably been like this even before even the posters husband was born. Certainly he doesn't sound like someone who hid is real colour while the poster was courting her husband, so she knew what he was like before she decided to be a part of his family.

One should be careful and not let this begin to consume one; baba is enjoying his life and doesn't even know/care that he is upsetting anyone or if anyone is having sleepless nights over him. There are people like that; and if you cant change them, then one just has to reduce the time spent around them.

I do however also believe that even the most difficult people can be gotten through to and if one takes time out to understand them, one can break down the barrier. Try and show him real love and I believe that God sees and knows all, and one day your FIL will reciprocate.

Poster by not declaring war on baba You are also saving your husband having to go through the trauma of having to be in the middle of a war between you and his father; remember that you are both 2 very important people in his life.

All said and done, patience does have its own rewards in the long run. Dont also forget that this same baba may be the voice of reason one day if God forbid your husband goes off track.

This is wisdom and OP, I hope you read this. I believe your marriage is young and you are just settling fully into it. Marriage is about managing people - yourself, your spouse, your children, in-laws, husband's friend etc. At any and everytime, you should have a clear strategy for managing each of them and the kind of results you want to achieve with each group. Never let anger discuss what you do.

People like your FIL would even make me laugh, seriously, rather than get upset at him, I may find him funny and sometimes even join the others in gossiping about him. He is not your husband and he won't change because of you. If his wife cannot change him after all these years, you cant so you have to deal with it. What's the big deal sef. If he is a trouble maker so what. One day someone will teach him a lesson but that shouldnt be you. Just try and be nice and respectful all the time. My grandfather was somewhat similar, but my mum worshipped him whenever he was around and they became best friends. Even though mumsie will make fun of him behind him.

Remember you and your husband are married for the rest of your lives and baba probably has just 20 years left so just let him be himself. He wouldnt be there forever but your marriage should be for a lifetime.

OP, Ur case is very pathetic. Try and fire some shots of AK47 into ur FIL's head. U'll give testimonies next sunday.

IfeLuvely: I know i probably should not say this as a repectful person, but I cannot contain it any longer as my FIL gets on my last nerves, he really winds me up. His manner of talking and behaviour gets on my last tits, and I feel he is the one running our family instead of my hubby. The man is soo pompous,rude and obnoxious. I knew this before i got married to my hubby but i tought I could handle it, but I cant. I have been trying to ignore him, but i think my hubby is suspecting that something is up, please any advice on how to deal with such people. The man talks just anyhow...the other day he was telling a grown man that he will slap him, i dont get how some people are like this ooo...

The solution lies squarely with your hubby. He needs to be a man enough. Be a sound decision making engine. Be ready to stamp his feet on ground and stand by himself even if the whole world thinks differently in as much as he is doing the right thing. Every marriage would face a problem like this. How you get around the situation depend on the man. It is after this he will definitely earn his respect and becomes a voice that matters in the whole family.

It is not only you that have such. You are matured too. Life on earth is but for a while. Just bear him and remember that God loves you. That will give you more pleasure while it lasts. Take care dear.

@ op When he start his nonsense just try to ignore him, if that doesn't work, praise him and act like he is the only one in the world that knows everything. That's how you treat people like that. Like the elders say "If you see a mad man on the street you have to praise him/her in order to get by."

@IfeLuvely

I totally understand how you feel as that is exactly how my wife feels about my father at the moment. Like a lot of people have said it lies with your husband to liberate himself just as am doing at the moment and have told my wife to no longer pick his call or call him after he told her he was going to beat me when i return to the country soon... can you beat that? Some fathers need to know where their place in life is and if they refuse avoidance is the best approach...

IfeLuvely: @ mowire, they just keep quiet(and then gossip about it behind him), cos apparently if they don't he will refuse to pay their school fees or will not give the wife any money. the way i was brought up in my own family, my father is a respecter of all n doesnt just talk anyhow to people, so that annoys me that the wife n the other kids cannot defend themselves cos they are solely dependent on him financialy, but since me n my hubby are not depending on him wetin be his problem?

An example of what happened: he sed i hadnt call him, i sed sorry I was at work and being so busy with work (at least we have bills to pay nau) he got angry and started teling me how much do i earn that i am feeling like somebody...

My dear Ify, you are to blame here for your gross ineptitude at handling this 'light' matter, but I'll pardon you only if you apply patience and use my psychoanalytical recipe, forget what the dogs say- muscle for muscle, that won't work here. This is what to do, buy him a crown to acknowledge his 'kingship', get him a king's robe and profess his long desired wish, then in turns your shall become the 'kingmaker' and the only one to earn his immense respect. Get this done as soon as possible else a smart wife does it and become his(FIL) queen and heir to his wealth and authority. Remember every lil thing is important, do it for you and your kids, imagine, 'he even needs your call' so much that he is mad you don't call.

i don't think portraying the husband as a weakling is fair to him. he has his temperament. it wont be wise for him to confront his dad as some of you are insinuating. it has to be done diplomatically.

dominique:

but some people are incredibly hard to please and will always find fault somewhere else no matter how much you try to please them. i think thats the person Ifeluvely is describing here. this kind of person will reject a gift without caring about the feeling of the bearer. if its possible for her and her husband to cut him out of their lives completely, they should go ahead and do so. whats the point in trying to please someone thats constantly cause you and your loved ones head/heartache?

some of you are like the police, magnifying the least of problems, why are many ladies so hard-headed? Arrogant men are the easiest to handle, the lady 'must' pay her dues, its an obligation, do it! mclatunji is hell right please spare the blushes.

kill him

ceejayluv: i don't think portraying the husband as a weakling is fair to him. he has his temperament. it wont be wise for him to confront his dad as some of you are insinuating. it has to be done diplomatically.

Don't mind them, OP is being rather petty and immature.

From the example you gave, the man has not even insulted or bitten you up otherwise you would have given such example. My feeling is that you are the overbearing type who does not want your husband family to come near your door step. Please change your ways because sooner than later you yourself will become mother in-law

Make him feel that he is realy not as important as he think..respect in this our generation is not to be demanded but earned.

IfeLuvely: @ kobojunkie, thats why i posted this, thats why i am asking how to cope with it, he talks to everyone like this, but i find it shockingly annoying and i personally cannot tolerate it any longer, because owo die die laran n fe nau...it means everyone deserves a lil respect for none yoruba speakers

Oh! No wonder!! I knew ur hubby was a yoruba cos it's only yoruba boys that get married and still live in their father's house. See what u got urself into? Continue to live with it.

Nosa-Henry:
From the example you gave, the man has not even insulted or bitten you up otherwise you would have given such example. My feeling is that you are the overbearing type who does not want your husband family to come near your door step. Please change your ways because sooner than later you yourself will become mother in-law

Thank you my broda. The old man going about being rude to other people should not make you feel resentful. That's how he is period and you won't change that! As long as he has not insulted you then how he talks to others isn't your business

ceejayluv: i don't think portraying the husband as a weakling is fair to him. he has his temperament. it wont be wise for him to confront his dad as some of you are insinuating. it has to be done diplomatically.

Thank you sir, lots of fathers of that generation were like that and the fact that the OP's father wasn't like that does not mean her FIL is a devil. The son are all used to him and tired of him cos he won't change. As long as FIL had not insulted you personally you have no right to disrespect him. even if he is rude to your husband, leave your husband to deal with it, he's his father and it's not your business

Always do press up when he's around.and do weight lifting too.let him know that u are a black belter in karate.tell him u'll break his nose if doesnt behave.or just wait age is no longer on his side by the time u r 50 nature will take care of him.