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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Guapo's Maybach Jokes (4521 Views)
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Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:36pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
Ok. Am doin' tis for my fans who've been clamoring for my return to Jokes Section and in a different style am doin' it with my new Label Guapo's Maybach Jokes [All Jokes are products of the Guapo's Maybach Label -- No Copyrights] |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:38pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
Akpors and Gideon entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, Gideon steals 3 chocolate bars. After leaving the store, Gideon says to Akpors: "Man I'm the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, you cant beat that". Akpors replies: "You want to see something better, lets go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing." So they went to the counter and Akpors says to the Shop keeper: "Do you want to see magic?" Shop keeper replies:"Yes." Akpors says: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shopkeeper gave him one, and he eats it. He asks for the second, and he eats that as well. He asks for the third, and finishes that one too. The shop keeper asks: "But where's the magic?" Akpors replies: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them." |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by iyatrustee(f): 12:43pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
how funny! |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:47pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
iyatrustee: how funny! Sweetie am doin' tis for Ya -- Xpect More from Maybach Productions |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:58pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you 200 dollars to drop that towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 200 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "Did he say anything about the 200 dollars he owes me?" |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:11pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
A woman was having sex with her lover in her apartment, 20 floors high. Suddenly she heard her husband arrive, She told her lover, stay like a statue and Don't move. Husband: Who is this? Wife: This is a robot I bought to have sex with when u're traveling. Husband: Ok, let's have sex now! Wife: No sweetheart, yesterday I got my period. So I will go & make a cup of coffee for u. After she left the husband said 'Damn it I'm so Hot, I will f*ck this robot! He tried f*cking. The lover started talking in a metallic robotic way: 'SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE! SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE'. Husband: Damn it! Robot is not working properly. I'm throwing it out of the window. The lover realized that he was on the 20th floor so he said:'SOFTWARE UPDATED' PLEASE TRY AGAIN!' |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:15pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
Some Pics for Now -- All Jokes are Products of Guapo's Maybach Label
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Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by larride(m): 9:52pm On Sep 11, 2012 |
Guapo, return back from where you crawl out from.. mtchew |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:41pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
larride: Guapo, return back from where you crawl out from.. mtchew So i wont Share Papa's Land with u abi? |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:22pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
Classic. . . Dear Sugar Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why this miraculous thing happened is because honey I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl Darling please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medular-oblangata also stops functioning. Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off here because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them. Yourz Ever, REPLY Dear Honie My Love, My Sugar, I was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when I have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why I am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to make it Schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart. My honie, I am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that I write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then I would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then I know that I will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Carey sanged it, you know that it is my favourite song honie. The one day that we were boarding the transport and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie. If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against mariah carey Anyways, I will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today. Please always be writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea. Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood.
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Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:22pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
i like the picture of davido and his brother |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:28pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
^^ Watch Ya Mouth Hun -- Their Papa Get Moni OoO Three absent minded writers were busy discussing a writing project on the platform, while waiting for the train. The announcement was made, and the train finally arrived. There was complete panic among eagerly waiting passengers as the train made its way to the platform. Passengers rushed inside the train, and the train left. However, one of the writers was not able to catch the train in the confusion. A passerby who saw all this came up to the writer and told him not to worry and catch the next available train. The writer replied, “I am not worried for myself, but the real problem is that I was the one who was suppose to catch the train, and the two of them who went on the train, actually came to see me off”. |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:34pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
An old man walking along the river bank suddenly spotted a boy drowning in the river. The man started shouting "HELP! HELP! I can't swim", a man passing by the road shouted back "Will you ever grow up! I also can't ride a bicycle but you'll never hear me yelling about it in the street" |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:38pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
The drunken defendant appears yet again before the tired judge, who says, "You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years." Replied the drunk: "Can I help it if you can't get promoted?" |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:40pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
All jokes on this web site are property of Guapo's Maybach Label -- Copyrights are Warned Off |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:52pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
El Guapo: All jokes on this web site are property of Guapo's Maybach Label -- Copyrights are Warned Off hehehehe...u stole my joke...."the classic letter"...i posted it b4 ya |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by larride(m): 11:07pm On Sep 12, 2012 |
lol @ vicky |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 11:14am On Sep 13, 2012 |
~vicky~: Oh Lady! Thats Called Print Coincidence |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by shakara4u(m): 1:13pm On Sep 13, 2012 |
EVEN EL GUAPO IS OPUT OF JOKES ABEG GO BORROW FROM YINKALINK NOW ABI YOUR SPORT JOKES WILL DO MORE GOOD SINCE GEN MUKINA REFUSE SEX JOKES |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 4:59pm On Sep 13, 2012 |
shakara4u: EVEN EL GUAPO IS OPUT OF JOKES Evolution |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by shakara4u(m): 5:44pm On Sep 13, 2012 |
lmao from whaat to what |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 1:36pm On Sep 15, 2012 |
^^ Lol -- U're Good at Guess Work Na, Ur Jamb and Waec are Good Testimonies |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 2:14pm On Sep 21, 2012 |
Son asked his mother the following question : "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure." The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white." |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by bright007(f): 6:32am On Sep 22, 2012 |
Guapo,where is d joke?You left yoke section with your dryness and now that you are back,you have becom drier...even driest self..mtchewww |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Rextab(m): 7:33am On Sep 22, 2012 |
Same jokes,js difrnt days n Tiltles *slapin poster* |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Exponental(m): 7:37am On Sep 22, 2012 |
El guapo, if u claim dat dis jokes are all urs, then something is wrong somewhere. It's either ur brain functions as an after effect of someone elses work Or The person u synchronized ur brain with has pirated ur work. ........ |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by BB013(m): 8:05pm On Sep 22, 2012 |
El Guapo: A woman was having sex with her lover in her apartment, 20 floors high. Suddenly she heard her husband arrive, She told her lover, stay like a statue and Don't move. |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:13pm On Sep 24, 2012 |
Exponental: El guapo, if u claim dat dis jokes are all urs, then something is wrong somewhere. Never Said they're mine but said they're Properties of 'Guapo's Maybach Jokes' - Jxt ma Label! Rextab: Same jokes,js difrnt days n Tiltles |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 12:51pm On Sep 29, 2012 |
A couple go on holiday to a fishing resort. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap, although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Madam. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies (thinking it was obvious). "You're in a restricted fishing area" he informs her. "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I am reading" she replies. "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and make you charged with Illegal fishing'' the warden says. "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault" says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you!" says the game warden. "That's true," said the woman, "but you have all the equipment with You." Case Closed |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 10:32am On Oct 01, 2012 |
A wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. While I was driving along the highway, I saw this young girl here, looking tired and bedraggled, So I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had only some worn-out sandals on her feet, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style. She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I bought you for your birthday that you never wore because the colors didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good but too small for you now. Then, as the young girl was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, "Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore? |
Re: Guapo's Maybach Jokes by Nobody: 10:53am On Oct 01, 2012 |
El Guapo: Ok. Am doin' tis for my fans who've been clamoring for my return to Jokes Sectionwho says you were ever missed?? El Guapo: and in a different style am doin' it with my new Label Guapo's Maybach Jokes [All Jokes are products of the Guapo's Maybach Label -- No Copyrightsbeht howcome all ur yokes are copy and paste?? I tot they were YOUR product?? #just wondering. |
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