Mynd_44:
then hang on

Not really Bro.

A good number of the commentators here are on point.

But, this is not about the moment.I am positive that we will patch this up. Now,who wants to patch up their furture?.

We are talking. But the trust I have for her has departed from me, and that is the full measure. I gotta have trust.

So, we make this up, everything goes back to where we were, the question will continue to linger, what is she up to?.

Again, I actively invested 5 straight years of my life in all ramifications in this project, so i beg to understand that its a little difficult to throw away at a moments notice.

In the fullness of time, which must be real soon, I need to answer this question for myself and I think I know what my answer will be.

I get you bro but the fact that you dont trust her anymore has just made it hard to imagine why you are still with her. Thinking about the time you have spent and not wanting to throw that out is also understanding but just keep us posted

nicky4lif: The truth is she is nolonger in love with u,the time she is asking u to give her is to know is the other guy will propose nd once he does,she will leave u without looking back or caring how feel at that time.nd she is also keeping u in case the guy dumps her,she will use u to heal her pains.she doesn't even care how u feel anymore that's why she didn't give u any responds when u asked where she went to. She doesn't want ur money for the business because she doesn't want to feel like she has sometin that belongs to u nd needs to pay back later with(marriage)being that she is nolonger sure of marrying u.she did not only kiss they guy,they hav made love nd I'm sure she doesn't let u tuoch her anymore.I'm sure this is what she says when ever u call her(why can't this boy leave me alone,why can't this boy stop disturbin my phone)nd when u go lock at her door,she will be like(when u finish locking u go). Now this is what u will do-never call her again becuase the more u call,the more irritated she gets.nd when u stop calling,she will start thinking u might hav found someone else nd will look for a way to come back nd make it up to u. If u ask her to make up her mind now,she will tell u to go on with the marriage plan nd after getting married to u,she will still be seeing the guy or even run away with him,because they will feel u stopped their love. Leave the girl,do other things nd stay with friends.it will be very hard but u need to,if not she will be gone 4ever. As for the guy,once he sees there is a competition,he will fight to finish.so stay off nd u will have her back.goodluck.

Ignore every other person, and listen to this man. Best advice so far.

@op..I know ow u feel man...I've been there bro..you know she is cheating on you,you know she has changed and doesn't love you like before..you know in your heart that she is gone..but you still believe she will come back..that's the sad truth bro..ur gal is so far gone..I can bet ma salary that ur gal is gone..no woman dat loves her guy goes off with anoda guy for 4days straight..just accept ur fate now..infact stop callin her cos d more u call,d further she drifts..u need to face reality and heal urself cos dis gal is gone for good..lemme give u d therapy that worked for me...just enter a closed room and cry..bro..cry and cry till u fall asleep,grab a bottle of red label or johnny boy when u wake up nd drink urself to stupor..this will induce more tears,just let it flow man..then tk a decision nd remember all her bad attributes..omoh u go just hate am...try it bro..it worx.

deshclones: @op..I know ow u feel man...I've been there bro..you know she is cheating on you,you know she has changed and doesn't love you like before..you know in your heart that she is gone..but you still believe she will come back..that's the sad truth bro..ur gal is so far gone..I can bet ma salary that ur gal is gone..no woman dat loves her guy goes off with anoda guy for 4days straight..just accept ur fate now..infact stop callin her cos d more u call,d further she drifts..u need to face reality and heal urself cos dis gal is gone for good..lemme give u d therapy that worked for me...just enter a closed room and cry..bro..cry and cry till u fall asleep,grab a bottle of red label or johnny boy when u wake up nd drink urself to stupor..this will induce more tears,just let it flow man..then tk a decision nd remember all her bad attributes..omoh u go just hate am...try it bro..it worx.

Laugh wan tear my azzzz...
Mehn, u badt gan o.
Though i ve experienced same b4. Ur therapy is not a gud resort to fall on bro. It will wreck u d more!

omotola1:
Laugh wan tear my azzzz...
Mehn, u badt gan o.
Though i ve experienced same b4. Ur therapy is not a gud resort to fall on bro. It will wreck u d more!

Wotever worx for u bro...the cry,sleep,drink therapy worked for me man..don't knw for u.

deshclones:

Wotever worx for u bro...the cry,sleep,drink therapy worked for me man..don't knw for u.

Lolzz...
Well, u are right in a way. Individual differences.
Owkay owkay owkay.

[quote author=deshclones]@op..I know ow u feel man...I've been there bro..you know she is cheating on you,you know she has changed and doesn't love you like before..you know in your heart that she is gone..but you still believe she will come back..that's the sad truth bro..ur gal is so far gone..I can bet ma salary that ur gal is gone..no woman dat loves her guy goes off with anoda guy for 4days straight..just accept ur fate now..infact stop callin her cos d more u call,d further she drifts..u need to face reality and heal urself cos dis gal is gone for good..lemme give u d therapy that worked for me...just enter a closed room and cry..bro..cry and cry till u fall asleep,grab a bottle of red label or johnny boy when u wake up nd drink urself to stupor..this will induce more tears,just let it flow man..then tk a decision nd remember all her bad attributes..omoh u go just hate am...try it bro..it worx.

OP should also pic d nasty things dude has done to his chic within those 4 days...like pulling her hair while he cumz on her face..do u xpect her to tell u all dat.

And i ask again, why keep someone who doesn't want to stay? Dude, pick yourself and move on. Give yourself good reasons to be happy, do not be idle lest you think 'bout her. You should be grateful it's happening now and not after your marriage. One of the finest way to revenge is to prove, later to her by means of calculus, why she was wrong to leave. You, surely, will laugh at the end as we all know the new guy just need a slice of the middle leg juice. Stay alive.

OP should also pic d nasty things dude has done to his chic within those 4 days...like pulling her hair while he cumz on her face..do u xpect her to tell u all dat.

BOLOSKY: OP should also pic d nasty things dude has done to his chic within those 4 days...like pulling her hair while he cumz on her face..do u xpect her to tell u all dat.

Are u trying to say that u can do that too?

BOLOSKY: OP should also pic d nasty things dude has done to his chic within those 4 days...like pulling her hair while he cumz on her face..do u xpect her to tell u all dat.

Lmfao....u wan give op hbp..but its d truth sha..@op..ur gal for don even use dat same mouth wey she use kiss u give the guy better head..infact d guy for don even c0me for him mouth...chaiii...women..lawd hv mercy.

andromida: I actually think you are beginnimg to sound like a funny. Its not a competition of who can hurt the other the most or who has the last word.

If there is a chance that your rship can be saved go for it. If it can't kindly walk away.No point going for the kill just to write a romance story on NL.

i totally agree wit this. It seems d op is bein cajoled to leave his girl. Op, im not saying u shouldn't, but u should ensure dat u make d ryt decision... Tins r not always wat dey seem.

@ OP,
Bleed no more.

Wash your mourning raiment.

Get your swag on. Act differently.

Do some turn around to everything around you.

Your relationship is obviously unhealthy at this time.

Efforts to address this issue will make you two drift apart more.

It will be seen as nagging which is very unattractive for a man. Nothing is unusual.

Spice up your life with or without her. New cologne, new shoes, clothes, gadgets, work out, smile etc are all you need.

Though you may hurt deep within, it does not kill, try nd shun it.

Thereafter take her out on a very romantic date with the new you. Laugh all through, play all through, look into her eyes affirmatively all through d date with absolute forgiveness. It is important you do not fake it.

Please endeavour to resist every attempt to bring up the gory topic of her ineptitude. I forsee a very passionate night afterwards.

This may mend your relationship and put an end to her new found place of exciting solace OR may result in complete confession of her undying love for her new found lover which will enable you both part amicably. Please note that she has a right to be happy irrespective of the nature of events that lead to same. It is safer than marriage under pretense.

If she opts for the latter, that is confessing to love the new guy more, there is a high probability that in 5 yrs she may regret the decision especially if the romantic date and passionate night unfolds accordingly. The graphic image of the new you will never leave her memory. When you eventually find someone else, she would grief with envy because she would notice a trasure is lost, if indeed you are a treasure.

If you both choose the option of mending your relationship which implies that the new you worked, please do not be regimented. Be dynamic in everything.

To answer your question, pend any discussion on Marriage with both families for a few more months and please disregard any attempt to cajole her back to you by sharing the ongoing with her family members. What happens between two dating or married couples should be kept within.

We all have failed at one time or the other. Expect less, Love her more!

BOLOSKY: OP should also pic d nasty things dude has done to his chic within those 4 days...like pulling her hair while he cumz on her face..do u xpect her to tell u all dat.

On point dear. Not only dat, the new guy must hav had her skn2skn for dat 4dayz. The Op shud picture his gurl screaming while being shhagged skn2skn by anoda man.

holyeye: @ OP,
Bleed no more.

Wash your mourning raiment.

Get your swag on. Act differently.

Do some turn around to everything around you.

Your relationship is obviously unhealthy at this time.

Efforts to address this issue will make you two drift apart more.

It will be seen as nagging which is very unattractive for a man. Nothing is unusual.

Spice up your life with or without her. New cologne, new shoes, clothes, gadgets, work out, smile etc are all you need.

Though you may hurt deep within, it does not kill, try nd shun it.

Thereafter take her out on a very romantic date with the new you. Laugh all through, play all through, look into her eyes affirmatively all through d date with absolute forgiveness. It is important you do not fake it.

Please endeavour to resist every attempt to bring up the gory topic of her ineptitude. I forsee a very passionate night afterwards.

This may mend your relationship and put an end to her new found place of exciting solace OR may result in complete confession of her undying love for her new found lover which will enable you both part amicably. Please note that she has a right to be happy irrespective of the nature of events that lead to same. It is safer than marriage under pretense.

If she opts for the latter, that is confessing to love the new guy more, there is a high probability that in 5 yrs she may regret the decision especially if the romantic date and passionate night unfolds accordingly. The graphic image of the new you will never leave her memory. When you eventually find someone else, she would grief with envy because she would notice a trasure is lost, if indeed you are a treasure.

If you both choose the option of mending your relationship which implies that the new you worked, please do not be regimented. Be dynamic in everything.

To answer your question, pend any discussion on Marriage with both families for a few more months and please disregard any attempt to cajole her back to you by sharing the ongoing with her family members. What happens between two dating or married couples should be kept within.

We all have failed at one time or the other. Expect less, Love her more!

Wrong advice bro...no offence but u r wrong..d more d op stays on his own,d more d gal clings to the new guy..dats d bitter truth..the no contact technique doesnt work for people that have been in a long term relationship..it is for people dat dated for like 4-6months nd broke up..in op's case,d gal don see am finish..nothin is new unlike her new guy dat she is discoverin new things about him daily...gosh..don't u knw ow a new relationship is?how all u do is hangout with ur new catch,all d dates,s3x,games ,outings etc...abeg put urself in d gals's shoes..wouldn't u be so keen on knowing ur new gal than ur old gal...abegi tell op d truth..his gal is gone full stop...think d best advice we can give him is on how best to heal..not giving him hope where there is none.

deshclones:

Wrong advice bro...no offence but u r wrong..d more d op stays on his own,d more d gal clings to the new guy..dats d bitter truth..the no contact technique doesnt work for people that have been in a long term relationship..it is for people dat dated for like 4-6months nd broke up..in op's case,d gal don see am finish..nothin is new unlike her new guy dat she is discoverin new things about him daily...gosh..don't u knw ow a new relationship is?how all u do is hangout with ur new catch,all d dates,s3x,games ,outings etc...abeg put urself in d gals's shoes..wouldn't u be so keen on knowing ur new gal than ur old gal...abegi tell op d truth..his gal is gone full stop...think d best advice we can give him is on how best to heal..not giving him hope where there is none.

U jus read my mind. The gurl is gone. Op shud get a new gurl.

deshclones:

Wotever worx for u bro...the cry,sleep,drink therapy worked for me man..don't knw for u.

The wie wie up in smoke Nko? That did work for me to get a good long sleep at one point too.

Why guys take women, especially Naija women, serious is beyond me. This species of beings are confused, not trustworthy and simply not worth the stress. Just use them to satisfy your cravings and that's all. That way u never get disappointed.

deshclones:

Wrong advice bro...no offence but u r wrong..d more d op stays on his own,d more d gal clings to the new guy..dats d bitter truth..the no contact technique doesnt work for people that have been in a long term relationship..it is for people dat dated for like 4-6months nd broke up..in op's case,d gal don see am finish..nothin is new unlike her new guy dat she is discoverin new things about him daily...gosh..don't u knw ow a new relationship is?how all u do is hangout with ur new catch,all d dates,s3x,games ,outings etc...abeg put urself in d gals's shoes..wouldn't u be so keen on knowing ur new gal than ur old gal...abegi tell op d truth..his gal is gone full stop...think d best advice we can give him is on how best to heal..not giving him hope where there is none.

You misconstrued my post.

The theme of my post was not for the poster to get his woman back, but to ensure whatever decision he is taking ends up a win win, hence reference to both scenarios.

Often atimes during our relationship cycle, we tend to get too comfortable with our partners in long term courtships that we end up quenching the flame that cooked the relatonship in the first instance. Thus my emphass on the pertinence for him to 'change' in all ways possible. This may endear her to him or may not. But his ego would be boosted and she would definitely realise he has changed. The sooner he faces the fact that she may be gone the easier it is for him to heal and move on. The earlier he moves on, the greater the posibilty that she would feel the vacuum his absence has created. Her new found solace has a cycle too. It starts great but transcends gradually to other realities.

Having spent 5 years with the poster, it is only natural that someday very soon when the next phase of her new relationship starts she would feel the absence of the former.

Nevertheless, I reiterate that her attitude is not unusual of a relationship that spans that long however, my concern is that she is drifting so far away by the day with her grave actions. To this end the only win win scenario is for the poster to propose an end to the relationship in a more amicable manner void of the nags. He needs to stop playing the victim to ascertain the true state of events.

We have all been there. I courted my wife for 9 years and I would only lie if I say she didn't give me suspicion cramps once in a while. Though not as bad as the OP's case, I ventured to walk away many atimes. Today we are very happy together amidst the challenges of marriage. The key was that I had to change into a more appealing, less nagging, sexy, outgoing, fun loving, top of the notch fiance. The business of chasing was no longer mine but hers to keep me at bay.

Finally relationships work better when the woman has a higher level of affinity for the man than vice versa. A last straw to set things right through 'change' by the poster will harm him in no way except there is a sexual deficiency that the OP didn't inform us of; then it can be said, that the woman is on a 'no turning back' sojourn.

AmBeautiful: Am sorry to tell you that your madam is having second thoughts about you.

My advice, is give her enough space for her business and concentrate on something worthwhile, while observing her closely without her knowledge.Put your marriage plans on hold too for now!

I think Something is unfolding!
Be patient!

That's you people's way.So Op should wait to be fully dumped. Rubbish! Op you're just a spare tire or backup plan should what she's working on fails.You see fire and at your age you want us to assume it's water. Sorry ..

Greetings.

There has been a few developments since my last update.

Following marathon discussions, verbal diarrhea and the resulting tears, my Girl and I resolved that we are better with, than without each other.

Now, I know that it is not uhuru yet and I will be on my guards for a while. We came a long way and I personally think it will be foolish to throw away all that we had and shared over the years for a little infringement.

Yes, I said infringement. Now, you're now probably asking if I have a confession?, No. A confession helps none at this time. If she was unfaithful to me, that confession will naturally come as we go. I know, we have been there before, although not at matters like this. To myself I say, let him that has no sin cast the first stone.

Regarding the other party, I demanded and was assured a complete severance of contacts in a veryfiable manner, and for me, an unfettered access to all communication medium for verification of compliance.

In fairness to her, I think the lenght of courtship was at the core of issue here. But, given where we now stand, we will both need a little patience. Let me add that I did told her when we met that I need a minimum 3 years before marriage can become an issue and she had a choice to accept or do a Ben Johnson.

This will be on a probationary basis for now. Matrimonial plans stands suspended. wounds will need to heal and we'll take it from there.

I thank everyone for their contributions and commentaries. Yes, even the puns.

A number of you contacted me privately, to you, I say thank you.

We will not always agree on ideas, still, none is lesser.

@Deshclones. Bro, I had several pots of my favourite whiskey, courvoisier with me all the while. We went and are still going through this hard times hand in hand.

I hope your sunday is good so far.

Only you decides.

Arsenate: Why guys take women, especially Naija women, serious is beyond me. This species of beings are confused, not trustworthy and simply not worth the stress. Just use them to satisfy your cravings and that's all. That way u never get disappointed.

you are such a FOOL. i hope your momsi and sisters should be used the same way. Anuofia!!!!

dubezj: Greetings.

There has been a few developments since my last update.

Following marathon discussions, verbal diarrhea and the resulting tears, my Girl and I resolved that we are better with, than without each other.

dt's fair enof! Wish u guys d best.

How come I dont get a drink too?

Op...wots the latest on your babe??....oh..i know...she has finally left you abi..she has finally broken the news that you dread so much...hahahaha....you are hurting man..guess thats why you have not come on NL for a while now...cheer up bro..some of dem gals are b1tches man..try log on lets cheer you up man....peace..

@desh, my broda i dey here o. The wounds are healing, Things has slowly returned to where we had it. The tears has been shed and the I'm sorry's are in place (Although, my inquisition is in high gears to accertain weather the congo was shined or not as claimed). Hopefully, it will be well.

dubezj: @desh, my broda i dey here o. The wounds are healing, Things has slowly returned to where we had it. The tears has been shed and the I'm sorry's are in place (Although, my inquisition is in high gears to accertain weather the congo was shined or not as claimed). Hopefully, it will be well.

Dude never trust a womans tears. They have no big deal using a lie to protect their interest and even when they are caught, if a new lease of lie presents it self they would gladly take it and play us a fool. I have learnt the hard way, a lesson I wouldn't even wish on my enemies

I hear ya. eyes wide open.

women tears r tools of manipulation. trust at ur own peril.

dubezj: @desh, my broda i dey here o. The wounds are healing, Things has slowly returned to where we had it. The tears has been shed and the I'm sorry's are in place (Although, my inquisition is in high gears to accertain weather the congo was shined or not as claimed). Hopefully, it will be well.

Nuffin iz gon b well. Afta suckn d oda man's c*ck nd swallowin hz spe*m u stil wanna kip her. Pssff! Iz she ds only woman on ds earth? Kick her out das y ur d man.