Headline amended...

Is it just me or are divorces becoming quite rampant in Nigeria?

These days, it is easy to see people contemplate leaving their marriages for one reason or the other. Does it mean that in the olden days, such things that cause divorces didn’t happen or just that people are becoming stronger by the day to say NO to unfair treatment?

Divorce is not sanctioned by the bible seeing as I am a Christian but there are situations that arise and you can almost hear yourself scream to the person; ‘Get a divorce’.

Read more here [http://jess2-chinwe..com/2012/09/how-divorce-is-claiming-marriages-in.html]

Compare to that of The United State?

KingOfNairaland: Compare to that of The United State?

Not at all compared to theirs but we are succumbing seriously to it here now. It is now very rampant.

fynejess:

Not at all compared to theirs but we are succumbing seriously to it here now. It is now very rampant.

God help us

How does divorce kill marriages??

I thought that marriages die, before divorce takes place not the other way round.And it happens a lot elsewhere.

If you shift your focus a bit to those getting married for only a week you will come up with new statistics.

Focus on what is good and you will not be discouraged.

Errm...how d heck is divorce killing marriages??!!

In the case of adultery, the bible allows for a divorce.....

fynejess: Is it just me or are divorces becoming quite rampant in Nigeria?

Yea I've noticed that too...its no longer news.

fynejess: These days, it is easy to see people contemplate leaving their marriages for one reason or the other. Does it mean that in the olden days, such things that cause divorces didn’t happen or just that people are becoming stronger by the day to say NO to unfair treatment?

Personally, I think one of the major reasons for the increase in the rate of divorce in Nigeria is a change in mindset.

Nigeria no doubt, it the most religious and ethnic country on this planet. Infact, there are times when I ask myself can one enjoy a decent marriage free from religion and ethnic beliefs in Nigeria...

Most Nigerians tend to be very traditional and religious these days...I've come across thousands of cases on daily bases, where a yourba man would forbid his daughter from getting married to and ibo lady and vice versa.

In the olden days, divorce was regarded as a taboo by traditional and religious standards.

But its very sad to note that in our days, the same religious and traditional laws that kept hundreds of marriages going, are the ones destroying marriages...as they have a way of giving a lukewarm treatment to people with different beliefs and culture.

Furthermore...civilization also plays another major role in Nigerian marriages.

Civilization has made most ladies realize their rights as women...their right to speak up, their right to dress the way they feel, their right to having a career, their right to owning their own properties...etc etc.

On their right to speak up...in the olden days, women don't speak up to their husbands. Infact, most of them kneel down when serving him...you can confirm this fact from your parents...lol

But in our days, civilization has given them (women) the right to speak up and challenge the authority of their husbands almost every now and then...most men, probably due to their arrogance, nonchalant attitude to the points the woman is trying to raise and pride, might see such action as rudeness on the part of the woman, thereby resulting in a physical assault or abuse on the woman...which eventually could lead to the end of such marriage.

Their right to dress the way the feel: I've come across hundreds of threads here on Nairaland in respect to this topic...most girls of our days feel that traditional dressing should be buried alongside their ancestors who invented them...I would have agreed with them, but the indecency of our modern day fashion, is a topic that needs to be properly addressed...

Most girls have lost eligible suitors as a result of their indecent dressing, and most women are on the verge of loosing their marriage as well...due to this bug...if you ask me, I'd say the good old days were much better.

A career woman: I'll merge with a woman's right to own a property.

Traditionally, women are not suppose to own properties...but as I stated earlier, civilization has removed the scales the covered the eyes of our women over the years.

If you ask is see nothing wrong with a woman owning a property or being a career woman...as we all know every good side, has a bad side. So the bad side or rather the disadvantage of this is that most Nigerian of today men have a low self esteem...they believe that women shouldn't progress in life...therefore any progressive attempt made by the woman, might lead to serious problems and even a divorce in such marriages.

fynejess:
Divorce is not sanctioned by the bible seeing as I am a Christian but there are situations that arise and you can almost hear yourself scream to the person; ‘Get a divorce’.

I'm also a christian as well...and if you read your bible properly, you'll notice that it (the bible) charged men with the responsibility of being loyal, loving, caring, adoring and providing for their wives.

Women on the other hand, are expected to honour and respect their husbands...if both parties adhere strictly to this command, believe me, there won't be any need for a divorce.

On the case of US, I can't really say much...they live their lives the way they want, and are ready to call it quits once they hit a rock...from my opinion, they're the kings and queens of divorce...and because they have no culture, I won't really blame them.

Therefore, we Nigerians shouldn't emulate them...

CrazyMan:
Yea I've noticed that too...its no longer news.


Personally, I think one of the major reasons for the increase in the rate of divorce in Nigeria is a change in mindset.

Nigeria no doubt, it the most religious and ethnic country on this planet. Infact, there are times when I ask myself can one enjoy a decent marriage free from religion and ethnic beliefs in Nigeria...

Most Nigerians tend to be very traditional and religious these days...I've come across thousands of cases on daily bases, where a yourba man would forbid his daughter from getting married to and ibo lady and vice versa.

In the olden days, divorce was regarded as a taboo by traditional and religious standards.

But its very sad to note that in our days, the same religious and traditional laws that kept hundreds of marriages going, are the ones destroying marriages...as they have a way of giving a lukewarm treatment to people with different beliefs and culture.

Furthermore...civilization also plays another major role in Nigerian marriages.

Civilization has made most ladies realize their rights as women...their right to speak up, their right to dress the way they feel, their right to having a career, their right to owning their own properties...etc etc.

On their right to speak up...in the olden days, women don't speak up to their husbands. Infact, most of them kneel down when serving him...you can confirm this fact from your parents...lol

But in our days, civilization has given them (women) the right to speak up and challenge the authority of their husbands almost every now and then...most men, probably due to their arrogance, nonchalant attitude to the points the woman is trying to raise and pride, might see such action as rudeness on the part of the woman, thereby resulting in a physical assault or abuse on the woman...which eventually could lead to the end of such marriage.

Their right to dress the way the feel: I've come across hundreds of threads here on Nairaland in respect to this topic...most girls of our days feel that traditional dressing should be buried alongside their ancestors who invented them...I would have agreed with them, but the indecency of our modern day fashion, is a topic that needs to be properly addressed...

Most girls have lost eligible suitors as a result of their indecent dressing, and most women are on the verge of loosing their marriage as well...due to this bug...if you ask me, I'd say the good old days were much better.

A career woman: I'll merge with a woman's right to own a property.

Traditionally, women are not suppose to own properties...but as I stated earlier, civilization has removed the scales the covered the eyes of our women over the years.

If you ask is see nothing wrong with a woman owning a property or being a career woman...as we all know every good side, has a bad side. So the bad side or rather the disadvantage of this is that most Nigerian of today men have a low self esteem...they believe that women shouldn't progress in life...therefore any progressive attempt made by the woman, might lead to serious problems and even a divorce in such marriages.


I'm also a christian as well...and if you read your bible properly, you'll notice that it (the bible) charged men with the responsibility of being loyal, loving, caring, adoring and providing for their wives.

Women on the other hand, are expected to honour and respect their husbands...if both parties adhere strictly to this command, believe me, there won't be any need for a divorce.

On the case of US, I can't really say much...they live their lives the way they want, and are ready to call it quits once they hit a rock...from my opinion, they're the kings and queens of divorce...and because they have no culture, I won't really blame them.

Therefore, we Nigerians shouldn't emulate them...

I absolutely agree with your very expository comment. I actually get scared looking at how fast 'civilization' is seeping into our nation. Our lifestyle, music videos, dressing, speech....almost everything is being dominated by the so-called civilization!

fynejess: Headline amended...

Is it just me or are divorces becoming quite rampant in Nigeria?

These days, it is easy to see people contemplate leaving their marriages for one reason or the other. Does it mean that in the olden days, such things that cause divorces didn’t happen or just that people are becoming stronger by the day to say NO to unfair treatment?

Divorce is not sanctioned by the bible seeing as I am a Christian but there are situations that arise and you can almost hear yourself scream to the person; ‘Get a divorce’.

Read more here [http://jess2-chinwe..com/2012/09/how-divorce-is-claiming-marriages-in.html]

By your submission, we are to believe that everyonne who divorces s strong? And if so, strong in what context? Also, why was this strength not applied in the spouse-selection process?

back in the day, people divorced less freuquently due to different reasons.
economic, religious for example
I am not a fan of divorce and I wish everybody would remain happily married. but life can be tough sometimes. and I think it is better to divorce than stay in a destructive and unhealthy marriage.

CrazyMan:
Yea I've noticed that too...its no longer news.


Personally, I think one of the major reasons for the increase in the rate of divorce in Nigeria is a change in mindset.

Nigeria no doubt, it the most religious and ethnic country on this planet. Infact, there are times when I ask myself can one enjoy a decent marriage free from religion and ethnic beliefs in Nigeria...

Most Nigerians tend to be very traditional and religious these days...I've come across thousands of cases on daily bases, where a yourba man would forbid his daughter from getting married to and ibo lady and vice versa.

In the olden days, divorce was regarded as a taboo by traditional and religious standards.

But its very sad to note that in our days, the same religious and traditional laws that kept hundreds of marriages going, are the ones destroying marriages...as they have a way of giving a lukewarm treatment to people with different beliefs and culture.

Furthermore...civilization also plays another major role in Nigerian marriages.

Civilization has made most ladies realize their rights as women...their right to speak up, their right to dress the way they feel, their right to having a career, their right to owning their own properties...etc etc.

On their right to speak up...in the olden days, women don't speak up to their husbands. Infact, most of them kneel down when serving him...you can confirm this fact from your parents...lol

But in our days, civilization has given them (women) the right to speak up and challenge the authority of their husbands almost every now and then...most men, probably due to their arrogance, nonchalant attitude to the points the woman is trying to raise and pride, might see such action as rudeness on the part of the woman, thereby resulting in a physical assault or abuse on the woman...which eventually could lead to the end of such marriage.

Their right to dress the way the feel: I've come across hundreds of threads here on Nairaland in respect to this topic...most girls of our days feel that traditional dressing should be buried alongside their ancestors who invented them...I would have agreed with them, but the indecency of our modern day fashion, is a topic that needs to be properly addressed...

Most girls have lost eligible suitors as a result of their indecent dressing, and most women are on the verge of loosing their marriage as well...due to this bug...if you ask me, I'd say the good old days were much better.

A career woman: I'll merge with a woman's right to own a property.

Traditionally, women are not suppose to own properties...but as I stated earlier, civilization has removed the scales the covered the eyes of our women over the years.

If you ask is see nothing wrong with a woman owning a property or being a career woman...as we all know every good side, has a bad side. So the bad side or rather the disadvantage of this is that most Nigerian of today men have a low self esteem...they believe that women shouldn't progress in life...therefore any progressive attempt made by the woman, might lead to serious problems and even a divorce in such marriages.


I'm also a christian as well...and if you read your bible properly, you'll notice that it (the bible) charged men with the responsibility of being loyal, loving, caring, adoring and providing for their wives.

Women on the other hand, are expected to honour and respect their husbands...if both parties adhere strictly to this command, believe me, there won't be any need for a divorce.

On the case of US, I can't really say much...they live their lives the way they want, and are ready to call it quits once they hit a rock...from my opinion, they're the kings and queens of divorce...and because they have no culture, I won't really blame them.

Therefore, we Nigerians shouldn't emulate them...

very arrogant to say that a nation has no culture. this is EXACTLY what colonizers said about the colonized. from Africa, over Asia to North and South America.
in fact, there are different cultures within one and the same nation.
and just because Nigerians (still) divorce less frequently, it does not mean that they are a good example of happy and healthy marriages. wake up.

carefreewannabe: very arrogant to say that a nation has no culture.

If you have any disagreement with my views concerning America, then prove me wrong. If you can't...I would suggest that you remain mute.

carefreewannabe: this is EXACTLY what colonizers said about the colonized. from Africa, over Asia to North and South America.

False...when the colonizers (the british) entered nigeria, they observed the saultan of sokoto. Most of them were even given traditional titles...this means they acknowledged the fact that culture exists in Africa. Your theory therefore has no basis

carefreewannabe: in fact, there are different cultures within one and the same nation.

I pointed out that fact...read my post

carefreewannabe: and just because Nigerians (still) divorce less frequently, it does not mean that they are a good example of happy and healthy marriages. wake up.

I never said they were a good example of a happy and healthy marriage...I was comparing traditional laws with modern civilization. And the major effect of civivilization, religion and tradition on Nigerian marriages.

Next time, take your time to read and understand a post properly before hitting on the reply button.

Una dey try with una epistles ooooo

CrazyMan:
If you have any disagreement with my views concerning America, then prove me wrong. If you can't...I would suggest that you remain mute.


False...when the colonizers (the british) entered nigeria, they observed the saultan of sokoto. Most of them were even given traditional titles...this means they acknowledged the fact that culture exists in Africa. Your theory therefore has no basis


I pointed out that fact...read my post


I never said they were a good example of a happy and healthy marriage...I was comparing traditional laws with modern civilization. And the major effect of civivilization, religion and tradition on Nigerian marriages.

Next time, take your time to read and understand a post properly before hitting on the reply button.

the term culture can be broadly defined as a distinct way of living of certain people(s) including their customs and beliefs, art, social organization etc. Americans have their way of living, even diverse ways of living (subcultures). they have their customs (e.g. thanksgiving day) and they have their believes (e.g. quite liberal economic system, in which each individual can attain the fullest acccording to their own capability = American Dream --> quite liberal economic system), they have art and great artists, in film literaure and painitng and they have a certain way of social organization, which again is quite liberal but very often based on a conservative view of the family unit.

when the British entered Nigeria, some of them surely acknowledged a culture / different subcultures, others claimed the people were savages with no culture. Nigerian literature contains very good examples of how (some) British saw Africans.

carefreewannabe: the term culture can be broadly defined as a distinct way of living of certain people(s) including their customs and beliefs, art, social organization etc. Americans have their way of living, even diverse ways of living (subcultures). they have their customs (e.g. thanksgiving day) and they have their believes (e.g. quite liberal economic system, in which each individual can attain the fullest acccording to their own capability = American Dream --> quite liberal economic system), they have art and great artists, in film literaure and painitng and they have a certain way of social organization, which again is quite liberal but very often based on a conservative view of the family unit.

Agreed

carefreewannabe: when the British entered Nigeria, some of them surely acknowledged a culture / different subcultures, others claimed the people were savages with no culture. Nigerian literature contains very good examples of how (some) British saw Africans.

I pointed that fact out...therefore I rest my case.

fynejess:


I absolutely agree with your very expository comment. I actually get scared looking at how fast 'civilization' is seeping into our nation. Our lifestyle, music videos, dressing, speech....almost everything is being dominated by the so-called civilization!

Civilization is seeping into our nation?
Correction please.

Globalization is not the same thing as civilization.
What we are witnessing are the negative fallouts of increasing globalization.
Now, being a people who are still at the primitive levels of mental dvelopment(civilization), we tend to rapidly asborb everything coming from the west hook, line and sinker.
Most other races, such as the Asians, tend to absorb new trends slowly and with a grain of salt. They take what they need to advance and discard the rubbish.
This explains their rapid rise in progress in all areas such as in education,science and research, medicine, technology and inductrial productivity.

Our young men and women would rather imitate the gang culture,hip hop fashion trends and bling blings of urban American ghetto culture, than to imitate the studious and tech savvy Asians that dominate most science and engineering faculties of American and European Universities.

These days in our streets, its getting harder to distinguish a housewife, a university student, and lovepeddler, on account of indecent dressing and the madd rush to acquire whatever is seen as the latest trends from the ghettos of the America and Europe. .

More and more epistles

I totally believe that people should have the freewill to get out a marriage they know is not working.

claremont: I totally believe that people should have the freewill to get out a marriage they know is not working.

I agree

CrazyMan:
Agreed


I pointed that fact out...therefore I rest my case.

impressive

Mynd_44: Una dey try with una epistles ooooo

as in eh..