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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? (17529 Views)
Poll: If the wife is the breadwinner, is the husband still the "head"?Yes: 75% (93 votes)No: 24% (30 votes) This poll has ended |
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Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Tawak: 5:57pm On Jan 19, 2008 |
i beliv a responsible man should get his hands busy rather than sit on his fat ass demanding for unnecessary respect & makin unnecessary decisions bein a man of the owse is much more than d physical features u'v got,its beyond the human comprehension(alot of things are attached, ) |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by UkMale: 10:43pm On Jan 19, 2008 |
The man is inherently the head of the home. It's Biblical and not based upon one's circumstance |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 2:01am On Jan 20, 2008 |
I do not know what else to write to make you understand that after 6 months of unemployment, a man's jobless situation is inexcusable and pathetic. You watch enough of Nigerian movies to make you understand how children are made victims of parents' mis-planning. When you choose to be the head of the household, you have to live up to it. I really do not care what it takes. Because no man is going to turn me into a prostitute or work 200 hours a week to keep the house going. Bottom line, if you have children when you lose your job, you will understand the importance of FINDING A WAY, ALWAYS! ![]()
Tell your children who are supposed to be in school that "Katrina" was an act of God! I bet a 1-year old will ask you if "katrina" happened in all the other states in America too. What kind of example will you be setting for your children if you sit at home all day and claim unemployement till your benefits run out? Look, there is always something out there to do. You just have to go and find it. Like I replied Dalby, excuses, excuses and more excuses. If you claim to be the head of the of the household like most of you beat your chests from morning to night, please live up to your name all year round till retirement please. Most women like me do not care how you choose to do it. As long as you are not using anybody's head for rituals or stealing money from the unsuspecting as 419 victims. Please you men should stay employed always. Our job is to give you kids, while you "provide" for the family like your darling holy books preach to eternity!!!! We are only supposed to be "helpers" ok? Not "rocks of ages" or "vertebral columns"!!! Haba! I beg case closed! ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 9:10am On Jan 20, 2008 |
almondjoy: There is so much melodrama in Nigerian movies, I actually watch them for comic relief. I don't know howelse to explain it that the man is fully aware of his predicament, but could be incapacitated by circumstance. To conclude that this man is lazy and not doing anything about it amounts to labelling a dog a bad name, or better still removing the spec from someone else's eye and not seeing the log in you own. As humans, we have our strenghts and weaknesses, and it is the interplay of these two forces that results in our situation or circumstances. Do you think that the man enjoys the wife's constant bickering, or the insults. Life now is a living hell, please don't make it any hotter. Support him in his hour of need, so he can support you and the family. Don't cast him out like most people would here have wished the father do to the prodigal son in the bible almondjoy: When I was young I always had the dream of being chauffeured in a stretch limo, and escort riders in front and behind the car. I would throw money from the window to people on the streets. Also wondered why my friends house (fathers house) was so large with a swimming pool and a lot of games that kids could play with. I really did not understand, and no explanation that would have been given to me would answer these questions. Thinking of it now, I was not the only child in the world then. If every child then had these same dreams, then who would be my driver, my escort riders or the receive the money I throw from my limo ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 10:30am On Jan 20, 2008 |
Dalby: Oh boy na wah for you oh! It looks like this unemployment thingy don show you pepper. It is not funny I say. Especially when you have children to feed. Children do not understand you lost your job. So please see where I am coming from. Do not make this whole thing seem like the man is the one who has it rough. Children do not care about excuses. They want to go to school and want to be fed period! So what will you tell your children Mr. Dalby? I had a friend once whose husband lost his job for about 1 year on account of this IT contractor flash in the pan jobs. The poor man had 3 lovely daughters in private school. What did he do? He relocated temporarily to another state to drive "taxi"! A well read graduate here in America. With that, he put his wife through nursing school and kept his kids in private school for the next 3 years. His wife graduated and took over. He went to school and re-trained in another profession in less than 2 years while still driving this taxi oh! Now they are smiling at each other! That is what I am talking about! YOU MUST LEARN TO FIND A WAY! I can only afford to respect such a man for the rest of my life! He made sure his family did not suffer and they worked together! Now that is what I call the "real HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD"!!!! ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 12:25pm On Jan 20, 2008 |
almondjoy: For the employment thing you mentioned, I work for the United Nations System in Nigeria, and before that had worked in 2 Oil companies based in Port Harcourt. I did my NYSC with one of the Oil firms above and was retained after my service year. As for what to tell the children, you tell them the truth. They might not understand now but the beautiful thing about life is that they will someday. They will be able to see why papa was called the rolling stone ![]() What we have been told above is the summary of the storey, and nothing about the internal wrangling following this state of in-equilibrium (resulting from the job loss). Anyway I gather that you are not residing in Nigeria thats why we have not been able to see eye to eye on the subject. Over there it is for you to decide to let pride go and humble your self and something will work out. Here no be whether or not to drive the taxi na wey the taxi to drive ![]() I know of a guy we went to University together, he studied Chemical Engineering and has not gotten a job till date. Everytime I see him, he tells you he heard that there is an opening here and that was where he was going to or there was an interview in this company last week and so on and so forth. It is running to a decade and you are talking about six months. The luck though is that he is not married. Maybe this might be appropriate at this time KJV, Bible - Ec:9:11: I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by gentlegg(m): 2:40pm On Jan 20, 2008 |
@Almondjoy Ur too miopic with all these ur long jaggons here. In as much as it's bad for a man to be jobless, that shouldn't turn the woman as head of the family. Men don't struggle to be head of their family, it's a privilege they just earn from God and nature. A man being financially paralysed or jobless for long is an entire different problem and SHOULD have nothing to do with his headship of the family. Is most unfortunate that for most women, the only yardstick for respecting a man is entirely on the man's financial power. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Nobody: 2:47pm On Jan 20, 2008 |
gentlegg: That is the problem. Nothing is free in this world. If you don't deserve it, you won't have anything. We have had people who were born kings but that didn't stop their subjects from beheading them when they didn't do their duties right. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by spoilt(f): 2:59pm On Jan 20, 2008 |
Its very easy for an unemployed man to resign himself to fate and be discouraged. When you are unemployed, your full time job should should be looking for a job. You should go out armed with resumes, pounding the streets looking for employment. You should also on the other hand be resourceful as to how to start a business or something. One year is too long not to make 10 kobo. children do need to be fed oh! . |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 8:00pm On Jan 20, 2008 |
michelin89: We have also had countries that are impoverished and for the last 30 years and more been ruled by 2 people or less. What a balanced world ![]() spoilt: un-easy lies the head that wears the crown ![]() wey the money to start the business now. If the guy in question had it we would not all be involved in these arguments and this would not have been an issue ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 5:57am On Jan 21, 2008 |
michelin89: spoilt: I rest my case. Only a woman who has mouths to feed can understand the pains of a jobless "head of the household"! It is not surprising that men see things one way and women see things the other way. Men make excuses and women have no patience because they do not want to be forced to step into that role as "breadwinner" out of respect in most cases to save most men's egos. For you guys know we are extremely resourceful abi? ![]() Please guys do not fall into that trap of excuses. For we are tired of hearing them ok? Get out there and turn water into wine, if you value your marriages. Or the woman will learn to make lemonade out of her "lemons"!!! ![]() ![]() As for you guys, it is one thing if a guy is not married. He can be the head of his jobless "under the bridge" household. But when you have a wife, wives, concubines and kids, it is a different ball game. Please do not attempt to get married and have kids without securing a future for this household you so proudly claim to head. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 6:07am On Jan 21, 2008 |
Dalby: You are a born Joseph the Dreamer. I pray your wet dreams do not turn into blood curdling nightmares. In your own case any dose of reality constitutes a nightmare. If you choose to live in a world where only 2 people rule the empire you have yourselves to blame for that. Why do you think most of us are seeking greener pastures? To avoid the abuse of a combination of hopelessness and helplessness. People like you sit in one corner of the church paying tithes to wealthy spiritual Shylocks and hope that golden manna would fall from heaven without moving a dead finger nail to the trash can. gentlegg: In your own case, you do not have the slightest clue, so my advice to you is to keep celibacy a priority, till you understand what it is to be "real man"! Men or women like you should not have sex at all--not even with yourself. ![]() ![]() ![]() Besides, I suggest you take some courses in Language comprehension or provide your own "criteria" for "headship of a family" if being the Financial Gibraltar is not one of them. May any of my female relatives never cross the path of any male relative of your generation--even in the afterlife! Frankly ma dear. you constitute a spiritual riskto all of mankind including yourself. Men like you will make women sell their bodies and souls to the devil or worse to keep you fed and your conscience would not even prick you for a split second. The most dangerous of all types domestic leeches. Absolutely no salvation for your kind. I pray that none of my sons or daughters end up like you in any way, shape or form. Amen! ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 6:40am On Jan 21, 2008 |
@almondjoy Why are you getting your hackles up ![]() I am staying back in Nigeria to salvage the country, I know it will be better some day, and those that have gone for greener pasture will come running back to reap what they did not sow ![]() Can't even remember the last time I went to church those shylocks ain't getting rich on my tip. I actually read the bible on my own. Also read the Quaran too. I have never lived on handouts or free lunches, because nothing is free even in FREETOWN ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by playmate(f): 8:38am On Jan 21, 2008 |
of course he is still d head of d family jst nt d breadwinner,money or no money dat title still belongs 2 him cs it was ordained by God nd nuthin cn change dat.some men actually make der wives 2 treat dem like a piece of rag cs if a man turns 2 drinkin nd oda bad habits or is a kind of soft spoken man or jst lazies around instead of findin sth 2 do his wife will turn him in2 a wife. @almondjoy u re postin frm ur xperience abroad,y nt come down 2 9ja one day nd u'll no dat its nt easy 2 get employed cs in most countries,a jobless man cn still get an allowance,a roof ova his head etc bt in 9ja,evry1 2 himself even d govt 2 demselves.wen we're talkin head of d family we're talkin makin decisions affectin d family,financial responsibility etc so u d man shuld still maintain dat position or do u think its a pride 4 a woman whose husband is jobless 2 take ova all d responsibilities of d head of d family,if so u're wrong cs no mata wat modern values we av adopted,we will still remain africans. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 9:09am On Jan 21, 2008 |
Dalby: Good for you. Please take care of your wife and kids and do not plan to stay unemployed for more than six months ok? That constitutes negligence of extremely paranormal capacities! Men should be men not boys! I am glad you do not fit the criteria of what is being discussed here, and you are not the universal epitome of "the jobless head of the household"? ![]() Can the jobless "heads of the households" in the house speak for themselves please and tell us their experiences so we can really understand what the real issues of an "extended unemployed" status is? I am not a self-appointed representative for the "oppressed women" who are burdened by inexcusable jobless men globally. But we can discuss this topic anyway without pride or prejudice. Thank you for your contribution! ![]() playmate: My experience abroad? ![]() May I please ask you what you plan to do when your chosen one is out of a job for over a year and how you plan to handle the finacial quagmire you find yourself while he is still the "head of YOUR household"? Talk is cheaper than one cent and come a "gross a dozen"! Nigerians are generally emotionally attached to titles like your royal highness even when they are the most diabolical of royals or least royal under any cirumstances or "your excellency" when your chosen ones are looters and pilferers of state coffers. You glorify "titles" even when[b] "honourables"[/b] of your upper and lower houses of government are dishonourable from birth. So why should it surprise me that you are chanting that a man be the sole "ordained ministerial head of the household" because it makes the typical Nigerian man feel like a king. Thanks to girls or women like you. I am not in that league ok? If you want a title, you have to earn it in my household. So you can give out your accolades to "lay-abouts" just because the designated gender happens to be male as ordained by your holy books--power to you and your likes. I have no problem with that. Afterall, your kind of guy can never be the head of my household. Whether I am wrong or right is irrelevant. My choice. You make your bed and lay peacefully on it. I do not plan to ever wake you from your "nap"! It just has to do with "the right to choose and express yourself the way you see fit"! When it comes to running my own household, I don't think you can tell me what to do in that respect. I respect your religious conditioning to believe what you want. Your prerogative, not mine! This is not a moral or religious issue ok? And what has being "African" got to do with the price of oil in Saudi Arabia? If you want it to be all of these and more, that can only happen in your "compound" not mine! ![]() Stay blessed! |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by efuah(f): 10:04am On Jan 21, 2008 |
Chei!! Militia. . . . aw my gawd! In fact i hail u. . . . i bow ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 12:47pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
@almondjoy almondjoy: You are ever so aggressive when you write. Sounds like you will be very impatient ![]() almondjoy: My point exactly ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 1:59pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
efuah: I say your brother knows a good thing when he sees one and vice versa! I think you owe me about $5000 dollars for this thread. ![]() Thanks for having me on your thread. ![]() Dalby: Sorry, I am not the "trust and obedient" type. Anything against a strong, aggressive American-Nigerian woman? I would have loved to show you how patient and accomodating I can be, but those are reserved for "bedroom duties" only. Too bad! ![]() I think I was born with more balls than most men. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 2:26pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
![]() ![]() ![]() almondjoy:You have any to spare, have some guys overhere that are in dire need ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by pahtahkee: 2:40pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
almondjoy: Good night ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Chai, you too yarn ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 4:54pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
pahtahkee: You dey krase? ![]() mrpataki! |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Nwaka77: 6:15pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
I really enjoyed reading this thread ![]() Almondjoy, you have said it all. Nothing more to add, nothing to subtract. Kudos! |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Nobody: 6:47pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
Some women here screaming divine order are the ones who are running away from the title because they are too afraid of not being able to meet up with the expectations. ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by dremoney(m): 8:45pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
@ efuah, what concerns u with your neighbours affair? Is being jobless got anything to do with HEAD OF THE HOUSE? oh, u mean a jobless man isnt fit to boss u, yea? reason i always say TRUE LOVE DOESNT EXIST and there can never be ordinary love sef witout money!!! u spend your jobless time as well sniffing into other pples trouble!!! y not learn to carry your cross n leave others to face their's. madam CNN, |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by dremoney(m): 9:14pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
almondjoy: haha Aunty Joy, check d number of men (nt guyz oo) u don abuse on dis thread!!!! wats d shape of ur mouth sef abi na ur finger wey type all dis rubbish? as u dey yap Africans, dey enter Nigerian's, honourables, other women and men on dis thread, na God go purnish u weneva u decide comin to stay fully in Nigeria oo. make u die put 4 America and 4get d slump u came 4rm, muthafucka!!! over-skill go soon kill ur monkey no worry, |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by Dalby(m): 9:39pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
almondjoy: Is your dad American or have we lost you to civilization ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by playmate(f): 10:36pm On Jan 21, 2008 |
@almondjoy wateva u say doznt bother me cs u dnt no me ![]() ![]() ![]() Dalby: am wondering d same too. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by efuah(f): 10:57am On Jan 22, 2008 |
dremoney:I simply don't have ur time ok, if u wonna fight, fight on. . . when u get tired u rest!! Send abusive words, insult me. . i don't give a hoot!! Arguing n exchanging insultive words wt someone u barely know is useless. gat a meeting to catch up ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by publicview: 12:44pm On Jan 22, 2008 |
From Scriptural point of view he is, 1Cor 11:3,(QED) the fact is he havent come to learn the mind of christ, on how properly he will be leading his family. The fact of his being lazy, is another serious issue from bible view 1 Timothy 5:8 says "if anyone do not know how to provide for his family he is worst off than a faithless person". Remember the bible said if anyone, it can mean the wife(who has a secondary role) or the man (whose the primary role).Laziness is not tolerated in the christain congregation Another area that maybe viewed is when do this man stopped providing? Has he looked for work and there re none, that have made him disillusioned? Who re his associates? His cultural upbringing, it is a fact that some tribes in Nigeria depends on their wife/wives to fend for them. The only remedy for men in his position is to learn christ leadership quality, which can only be obtained form accurate study of God's Word. This site can help www.watchtower.org |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by floxyrangy: 1:06pm On Jan 22, 2008 |
In my opinion, a wife ia a helpmate for her husband. Help mate means someone who assists. I see nothing wrong in a woman being the breadwinner, circumstances could have made her husband out of a job, it doesn't make him any less the head of the home. |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 2:20pm On Jan 22, 2008 |
playmate: Like a spaceship with a real captain of course! Unlike yours with a shitty jobless head of a cardboard box of a house hold! ![]() dremoney: dremoney: I see your pre-occupation here is to pick fights with other posters even where you do not have anything to contribute here no matter how juvenile it might be. I have retired from that insult trading shit ok? Maybe by June you would have got on my nerves enough to slug it out with you. For now, I am too happy to worry about your problems. efuah: Thank you for your kind and civilized response. You are a role model anyday and I am going to be like you when I "grow" up! ![]() Dalby: Yes! Better than being lost in the "wilderness"! ![]() |
Re: Is A Jobless Man The Head Of His Family? by almondjoy(f): 2:26pm On Jan 22, 2008 |
floxyrangy: May I let you know in advance that jobless heads of the household usually have the "weakest" of all kinds of erections!---because of low self esteem ![]() Mine stays strong all year round because the power of a sexy man is in the ability to "provide" for his family without fail! But of course, you guys will settle for anything at these ages here on Nairaland---(23-30) in your lives since most of you have a hard time finding a husband! ![]() I hope your campaign on Nairaland works! ![]() ![]() I beg make una carry go jo! Helpers of Jobless heads of "the shoe box households"! |
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