opokonwa:

There could be a 'Good side' to this girl and we are all crucifying her simply b/c she is too good to be true

You have said it all, "she is too good to be true".

There are two sides to it, could be she is definitely too good to be real, or pretending and not being her real self, if you really want to know if she is for real I would advice you not to tell her a thing yet but be in a her company more often, and watch her closely see the way she relates with other people, unguarded moments if she is as patience as she is with you, generally her countenance, but in actually fact there are girls like that, too docile, extremely submissive real women who are too scared to speak up.

But really if she persists with this goodly attitude. I don't know, but people like this can do very terrible things.

I once heard a girl i admired as good, gentle & many of the niceties, that made me even composed when beside her, say "If i get a good knife, i'll kill my uncle" When asked the reason, she said "'cos he has three wives". Till date i don't know how dat's related.

If this goodly attitude persists, Pls run. Yes of course we have good people but they get annoid abeg.

abeg give her phone number.
thats the kind of woman i like to be with
id appreciate.

[b]I am breaking up with my girlfriend because she is too perfect” was the out cry of a frustrated man in a 9 month relationship. Some people may ask,” are you crazy?” or “can we swap girlfriends”? But what would your reaction be if you were in his situation?

In my opinion these is nothing like a perfect relationship, there must be conflicts. Having conflicts isn’t the problem but how the conflict is handled has always been the issue.

No matter how identical two individuals are, they must have areas in life where they differ in opinions, interests, ideologies or beliefs.

In a relationship if both parties are exactly the same, on person is irrelevant and has seized to exist as an individual. Rather he or she is a reflection of the other person in the relationship.

It is possible that one person is laid back and not really into arguments or conflicts. He or she might just give in to prevent further arguments. In my opinion peace at all cost is no peace at all. Avoid arguments may seem to be ideal in the short term by the effects on the relationship would be felt in the long term.

In some societies, having the so called perfect relationship would be a perfect scenario, especially in societies where the man is regarded as the Alpha and Omega. He barks jump to the woman and she replies how high. In such cases, she seizes to express her feelings, disapproval’s or concerns for fear of retribution. She exist as a figure head an in most cases a sex object. To everyone else she is the perfect and obedient wife, loving caring and probably a references point by jealous neighbours and relatives. Only if they knew what the situation really was.

Why would a woman subject herself to a lifetime of misery, depression, slavery and emotional denial? Definitely her marriage to her husband would be wrong model to her children. Could it be because of:
Religion

Some religions regard women as lesser beings and require them to be subordinate to their husband. Hence thy have no voice, vote or opinion.
Tradition

There are traditions and cultures that also regard women to be lesser than the man. They are given as gifts to worthy friends or business associates. In some cases they are presented to the ruling monarch as wives. There is a practise in a tribe whereby men entertain their guests with their wives. All you have to do is visit a friend that believes in that foolishness and you can have his wife for the night.
Desperation

Would you blame a woman that has been in numerous relationships and everyone ended in a fiasco leaving her heart broken. Besides her biological clock is ticking fast. This time she has decided to deny herself her liberty, voice and opinion in order to please her husband. She fears she stands a better chance if she goes with the flow and do exactly what he says, thinks or feels.
Intimidation

Can any one identify with this? In a situation where one person is intimidating, the other person seizes to exist because he or she believes he/she doesn’t stand a chance in the argument or conflict. So to keep the peace, he or she just obeys whatever the command is. Most women married to soldiers fall in this category.
Lack of self esteem

It is possible that inferiority complex and lack of self esteem can contribute to how one reacts in a relationship. When you feel that you are being done a favour by being in the relationship then you would always be subservient side doing every and anything possible to please your mate. These are 5 reasons why people remain in a bruised and battered relationship
Hidden intentions

Well, its possible he or she is after something, hence the reluctance to oppose or disagree with anything. There are gold diggers around looking for whom to devour. It could be for financial gains, immigration purpose or to conceal damaging medical history.

An ideal relationship is one where there is true love with no fear of intimidation. Both parties are free to express themselves and express their innermost thoughts, dreams and aspirations. In areas of disagreements, they both seek a middle ground or agree to disagree.

In life we are bound to face conflicts with relatives, friends, work colleagues and in places of worship. It is crucial that both parties master the act of fighting fair, conflict resolution and diplomacy without having to compromise ones believes and values.[/b]

Culled from
http://www.peleodiase.com/blog/do-perfect-relationships-exist#more-130

guy, this is wat to do. .

like someone said earlier, bring a gril over to your house and let her catch you making out with the other girl. . .
dismiss the other girl. then tell your girlfriend you are sorry. if she forgives you within in a day. then RUN AWAY FROM HER!! At least, a woman needs like a week to 2 to forgive a guy for that. .

My take is, she has been jilted so many times before and she is blaming herself for the failed relationships. maybe she was too hard on her previous guys so they left her, so she promised to be soft to the next guy who came along which unfortunately is you.!!

Jus let her catch you with ur draws down. . .

cheers. .

Haa I know what u mean arguing can be fun, or at least the making up part is
But it most def. lets u know that she is a strong person if she can argue her views and many times it can be sexy to know u have a girl who is willing to fight for what she wants!!
I have a friend who is very passive when it comes to her bf. I think she is that way because she is scared that there will be no making up after a huge fight. So she avoids having fights with him, because she is scared it will give him an excuse to walk away from the relationship. But I guess in ur case the opposite is true ur willing to walk away because there is no fighting going on.

I've Been there. Trust me,i got freaked out too. The Truth is you're getting bored of something people have spent thier life looking for(and trust me,if you break up with her,you won't find another one again)
There are people like that. It's just their nature.that's all there is to it.If you can't accept them for who they are (that phrase has been used mostly for people who have flaws),then go.it simply means that you want more than an obedient,trustworthy,kind,committed and loving individual to spend your life with,
WHAT THE Bleep IS WRONG WITH YOU!?
Dude,your bachelor blood is screaming. Sit her down and tell her your mind. There has to be something or two she has to talk about you, If she still remains the same, do as you wish.but seriously,i'll bet you'll be suprised what she has to say if you bare your mind.
Then people like you will start singing with pdiddy and usher 'i need a girl'. Rubbish!

Buddy, please have me for a 24-hour session only. Maybe u'll learn to appreciate ur girl beter.
Men self!

she cant be dat perfect,cos no one is.

mmmmmmmmm na wa o. the wahala with the violent environment some people grew up in. an angry person is a dangerous person. my illiterate grand mum told us years ago that anger and poverty are first cousins. anger as a spirit only ever destroys and never builds anything good. some people by Gods grace and nature do not allow the irrelevant things that work most people up get to them and can be very easily mis-understood.

if you got a very quarrelsome lady you would have been very grateful. but trust me on this one unless you have not chosen to rise above the level of the environment you are at the moment it is better to live with this lady than quarrelsome always opposing things for the sake of opposing sake.

have you not watched most people who fight and have what they call little arguments all around them. they are always borrowing and living below what they are supposed to be. it is not that people wont do things you don't like or approve of but you owe yourself a duty not to be offended. Jesus said be angry but do not sin. most anger moves you into outright sin and trouble always follow sin.

my brother rejoice because whatever excuse you may have to suspect she is too good to be true bible said it is better to live with a woman like that than one whose mouth is opened 24/7. it sends people to frustration that may lead to early grave or a life of showing nothing for the 7o+ years they existed.

your life and destiny are too great to waste arguing. the mind is a terrible thing to waste as the Negro college mantra says.

darkness is not darkness unless you knew the force of light. check out peaceful living it is always better than strife and arguing environment. try it you will begin to enjoy it. it makes you produce great things. majority of the people you and i admire today could only succeed that much because of the peace and serenity that surround their homes.

Pour hot water on her and she if she'll scream at u. If she says "Oh! Dear, am really sorry. The water must have scalded your palms, are u alright" Run as if u life depends on it, Actually it does.
But seriously, talk to her about it. I feel ur pain. I need drama in a relationship as well or else ill go crazy.

I dont why some people like to embrace violence instead of peace.She's been peaceful why cant you live with that?I understand pretence could be part of it but like the adage goes "attitude is like a smoke" so i think you just need to be patient,sooner or later she'll show her true colour,that is if she's pretending.

Funny Quote of the Day - Zsa Zsa Gabor - "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished."

You don't deserve this kind of person.Anyway i dey sha in case of transfer.I know exactly what you want PATIENCE OZOKWOH kind of person .I pity you.NO BE YOUR FAULT!

u must really be going gaga cos my boyfriend always complians abt mii i dont just understand if a girl is reserved she is too reserved if she is on the other side she is on the extreme side of life which one una own gon self "men" if i have my way i think i will not fall in love but seriously she might be trying to br herself or just playing along which ever way stay strong and take your time if u really love what do u say about mii i av been in my relationship for about 8 yrs and i a think i av started avoiding my guy becos i cant just put up with the complains

so be strong give her time.

@ poster,
I did something like dis back in school, & trust me, i've lived to regret that 4 as long as i can remember. i've searched 4 a girl like dat & nothing 4 me. pls don't do it, i understand ur situation, just find a way of dealing with it

temitire:

u must really be going gaga because my boyfriend always complians about mii i don't just understand if a girl is reserved she is too reserved if she is on the other side she is on the extreme side of life which one una own gon self "men" if i have my way i think i will not fall in love but seriously she might be trying to br herself or just playing along which ever way stay strong and take your time if u really love what do u say about mii i av been in my relationship for about 8 years and i a think i av started avoiding my guy because i can't just put up with the complains

so be strong give her time.

Sister, no vex, but 8 yrs? HAAA! And now you want to quit? This gold is for you

sagitarius:

@ poster,
I did something like this back in school, & trust me, i've lived to regret that 4 as long as i can remember. i've searched 4 a girl like that & nothing 4 me. please don't do it, i understand your situation, just find a way of dealing with it

Same for me here. But i'd rather keep searching and not marry my reflection

@ Disturbed;

This is quite an interesting topic, I'll advise you based on my personal experience.        

While I was in school, I dated a girl who in every sense of the word was "someone you can take home to Mama". 
She was very polite, humble and gentle. She was also very submissive and would hardly ever object to things I say or suggest.

I see some similarities between the relationship I had then and yours because in your post you said "she was polite, very humble, very gentle, very neat, very submissive. We have never had a single quarrel. we have never argued on a single issue. we have never disagreed on any issue. and now I'm getting scared. if i suggest anything, she quickly agrees. she never disagrees with me. this is really gettin on my nerves because it is making the whole relationship boring.
i even tried picking up fites with her deliberately but she would apologise for what she did not do and the intended quarrel would end."

Initially, I was enjoying the whole thing, but as time passed by, I began to see some flaws in her. I loved the fact that she wasn't giving me any stress, but I loathed the fact that she agreed to everything I said without raising an eyebrow.
I needed her to be a bit more objective, but rather she would subject her everything to my command.

In my opinion, that's not an encouraging behaviour. though I can't remember if I ever really spoke to her about it.

I knew her friends and family, and I had the opportunity to be in their midst so many times. She was a different person while with her siblings and her friends; but whenever she was with me, she had neither a voice nor an opinion.

Sadly, I ended the relationship after 18 months (September 2001 - March 2003); and the girl still dey beef me till today.

Now, I've been married for almost 4 years and my wife happens to be someone who is more vocal and more colourful, and that had added loads of colour to our relationship, and to my life.

Now here's the difference, if I said to the girl this is what we're doing, she'll gladly say "Yes Sir!"; if I say the same to my wife, she'll say "Honey, have you thought of doing it this way and adding this and that to it?". I may say NO to my wife initially, but if I sit down and have a re-think I'll see one or two things to add or even go entirely with my wife's suggestion.

Looking back over the years, I think my character and person was sort of overwhelming for her.
I think she was kind of insecure in the relationship because I was very popular in school, and I was sort of a bit out of her league.
Though I was very reassuring and I was determined to see the relationship grow, she wasn't helping matters.

Looking at my life now, I've got no regrets cos life is brighter for me and no longer Drab and Dull as it used to be.

Na my two pence be dis O!!!!! Please pick what you think is beneficial and apply it to your situation.

Regards,

Skybaba

you are lucky to be dating MR PERFECT

But for sure you are right to think about this.
Even most Pastors ask u if u and ur partner have ever had any fights or arguments during your courtship (when u go for pre marriage counseling).

For sure it sounds too perfect.
She doesnt have to be rude, but u need someone who can see things objectively sha - not one that will agree with everything.

She doesn't like arguments, so she should be with a guy who doesn't like arguments. In other words, the two of you are not compatible. Personally, I think the problem is that you two don't have much in common, so the only thing that could spice up your relationship is a fight. What a pathetic 'relationship'.

perfect people get on my nerves.
I confess i stir up stuff just so my husband can give me attention and pacify me.
I will pout and pout for attention.
A perfect wife is boring. like a perfect robot with a perfect smile. meals ready at the same time everyday. her skirts the same length, predictable, predictable. A little imperfection or flaw is welcome.

i once had the most imperfect relationship ever. Everyday a new drama . . . if she wasnt sick and demanding i come see her at the expense of my exams she was busy pouting and putting up a good tantrum while i tried to concentrate on reading.
I think i broke up once . . . na lie, she got her friend in tow and marched right to my reading room and dragged me out. We made up kia kia.
But beneath that tough exterior was a completely different side of her that others never saw. She would go beyond the limits of her ability just to make me happy . . . later i came to realise that each time she put up her drama all she wanted was a hand around her shoulders and she'd be herself again.

You may dislike her attitude today but once you let her go somehow sometime you'll wish u could roll back the hands of time and get her back. With all the wahala that little vixen put me through . . . she's one woman i wont forget in a hurry.
think about it hard before you take a decision bros.

At topic: ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
All the same

I hope I am making some sense here becaues I could not finish reading all the posts. I just saw it today. I tried to contact the poster privately. Alas, his address is not available. Please I want to say one or two things privately to you.

However, all I can say is that you have found a real GEM. Don't let all those pple decieve you. You don't need to test her by bringing a woman et all. One: She is seriously in love with you. Two, that is her nature. Don't take her for granted. I have been in that situation about 3 TIMES now. I met three (3) different girls who are just like that. The first one, got married in 1995. She always wanted to please me. I was the envy of all my peers then. She went with somebody that was better the way he treated her. She is somewhere is US now. I am very happy for her. I hope she will be happy. She deserves it anyway.

The second one used to kneel down to great me. Don't laugh. That was the situation. She is not dumb. She is highly educated, intelligent and God fearing. Perhaps you may say that she was seriuosly looking for somebody to marry her and she had become 'anfani adugbo' or an 'animasaun'. Far from it. VERY VERY DECENT. She was a VIRGIN. Men were always toasting her then. May be it was because I was her first love. There was a time we had to call it quits because she decided to give her life to Christ. We came back together simply because of fate.

The third person is also well mannered. Tall beautiful and educated. Plus she was a virgin. She gives me MAXIMUM respect. She says sir to me. "What do you want to eat sir? Welcome sir." That kind of stuff. And for your information, I am not a rich dude. So they are not after my money. I am not most handsome guy on earth. In short, I am plain average.

My opinion is: Take proper care of her. Show love to her. Give her No 1 consideration. Believe me, you will enjoy your marriage. You need to be on your guard however. You need to make double effort to make her happy. It will not be easy. Please for the sake of love and all those things that you hold dear, treat her well. It will not be easy because the tendercy to take undue advantage of her nature will be there.

Forget the advise some people tell you. She is not neccessarily frustrated. I made an example of myself. None of those three people were frustrated by any meaning of the word. There are people like that. Count yourself lucky. She is not hiding anything. That is her true nature. Love her. Cherish her. You will never regret it. Yes I will tell you the truth: It gets on my nerve when my wife will not express her opinion. Always counting on me. At times I find her too submissive. But that is her nature. I can't change that. Look at that as her strong point. If you truly love her, you should not let that be a big deal.

Do you know the bottom line: You need to be very careful. Don't take any rash decision. Your decision may hurt somebody who dearly loves you.

please mail me at tianshihotguy@yahoo.com. By the way, I forgot to mention that I am happily married to the third lady. Bless you. Love your woman and protect her FIERCELY. You will be happy you did.

MisterMan:

I hope I am making some sense here becaues I could not finish reading all the posts. I just saw it today. I tried to contact the poster privately. Alas, his address is not available. Please I want to say one or two things privately to you.

However, all I can say is that you have found a real GEM. Don't let all those people decieve you. You don't need to test her by bringing a woman et all. One: She is seriously in love with you. Two, that is her nature. Don't take her for granted. I have been in that situation about 3 TIMES now. I met three (3) different girls who are just like that. The first one, got married in 1995. She always wanted to please me. I was the envy of all my peers then. She went with somebody that was better the way he treated her. She is somewhere is US now. I am very happy for her. I hope she will be happy. She deserves it anyway.

The second one used to kneel down to great me. Don't laugh. That was the situation. She is not dumb. She is highly educated, intelligent and God fearing. Perhaps you may say that she was seriuosly looking for somebody to marry her and she had become 'anfani adugbo' or an 'animasaun'. Far from it. VERY VERY DECENT. She was a VIRGIN. Men were always toasting her then. May be it was because I was her first love. There was a time we had to call it quits because she decided to give her life to Christ. We came back together simply because of fate.

The third person is also well mannered. Tall beautiful and educated. Plus she was a virgin. She gives me MAXIMUM respect. She says sir to me. "What do you want to eat sir? Welcome sir." That kind of stuff. And for your information, I am not a rich dude. So they are not after my money. I am not most handsome guy on earth. In short, I am plain average.

My opinion is: Take proper care of her. Show love to her. Give her No 1 consideration. Believe me, you will enjoy your marriage. You need to be on your guard however. You need to make double effort to make her happy. It will not be easy. Please for the sake of love and all those things that you hold dear, treat her well. It will not be easy because the tendercy to take undue advantage of her nature will be there.

Forget the advise some people tell you. She is not neccessarily frustrated. I made an example of myself. None of those three people were frustrated by any meaning of the word. There are people like that. Count yourself lucky. She is not hiding anything. That is her true nature. Love her. Cherish her. You will never regret it. Yes I will tell you the truth: It gets on my nerve when my wife will not express her opinion. Always counting on me. At times I find her too submissive. But that is her nature. I can't change that. Look at that as her strong point. If you truly love her, you should not let that be a big deal.

Do you know the bottom line: You need to be very careful. Don't take any rash decision. Your decision may hurt somebody who dearly loves you.

please mail me at tianshihotguy@yahoo.com. By the way, I forgot to mention that I am happily married to the third lady. Bless you. Love your woman and protect her FIERCELY. You will be happy you did.

not everyone seeks a subservient woman.
seriously the whole kneeling down to greet thing, virginal persona is not for everyone. Some guys may feel like kings when you kneel to greet them, for others it will embarrass the out of them. strange as it may sound to you some people are not down for that. you seem to be happy with your kind of woman. good for you! original poster wants some fire!

Funny how someone implied that it takes a woman 1 week to forgive cheating! Na wa o

I feel u brother, i used to be in a similar situation but u dont need to pack up d relationship
some ladies re brought up to 've much respect for older pple or men rather,i suggest u and her have
a heart to heart talk,tell her ur fears and expectation and i believe if she really loves u she 'll open up .

who be this one, trouble dey sleep yanga dey go find am, throw yourself come my side no be person go tell u, okada speed no go reach to carry you go back from where you dey come.