Efemena_xy:

True stealing is wrong and this girl knows it. However, the "love" thing is pulling her in the wrong direction. I can almost picture the scenario... She goes to visit her "love", he tells her: "Babe, I'm dying here o! Hunger don finish me, I never eat since yesterday morning. Pls help me, anything no matter how small would be truly appreciated..."

She's torn between her loyalty to Nonylove (her employer) and her sweetheart.

This is no easy one. No one even knows if this guy's intentions are honourable, or if he's simply using the girl as a free meal ticket. Nonylove, I think you should discuss this matter with your husband. You might be surprised he may see things in a different light and possibilities you haven't thought of / explored...

chaircover:

It is well. Our people say that one person gives birth to a child but many are involved in the childs upbringing

This young lady is under your care, regardless of how she got there, and you have a moral obligation to lead her down the right path. If you can, maybe you get your husband involved to advise her from a mans point of view. you never know, it may sink in when she hears it from another view.

BTW Does she steal other things apart from food for the boyfreinds?

debrief08:
True, I know of a Lady who stole 6million from her employers a bank because her husband wanted an RR SPort, when she was caught she said he put so much pressure on her and even coached her on ways of taking the money without getting detected, she was kept in a none finance department, made to work of the funds they couldnt recover and sacked. Like I said this foolishness of people in love trying to impress their bad spouses is not limited to maids.

debrief08: When we advice that people stop looking for cheap labor with adolescent girls and hire professional maids they will say no be so.
If you are not ready to deal with teenage drama and raging hormones then hire a real maid, with spefic work hours on pay and who you can deal with professionally. If you insist on getting a live in teenage then handle it the way you will handle a misbehaving teenage that was your blood.
We just want them to come and work and don't consider this stage of their lives a stage we as women have all passed through but because we were in the comfort of our homes our mothers handled and managed us well, when it is a maid it is national headline.
Girls at that age will be intrigued by boys, have you spoken to her about s3x, pregnancy and contraceptives? Are you just orried about your stolen food? Having a live in teenager is beyond paying school fees and paying agent, God will hold you responsible for her formative years, that is why I advice those always claiming "help" to either go the full lenght or leave the child with their parent and help.
That girl may get pregnant, contract a disease or get invovled with bad company that will ruin the rest of her life and your concern is stolen food. Anyway, its the Nigerian way, as long as she works her life and what she does with it no concern you.
Sit her down and talk with her, tell her about s3x and what she needs to know, if you insist on a teenage maid be ready to raise a teenager

debrief08:
Most of them are 7-7, 24/7? there should be a day off na
If you will take my advice, try to work out a schedule around 7-7 because with that you avoid drama and unnecessary issues. too much familiarity breeds contempt.

nonylove:
My maid has been stealing my food stuffs and provisions to give to her boyfriends whenever am not around. she has 2 boyfriends that she feeds with my food regularly.
I just discovered and she confessed to me. am not even sure she doesn't steal my money as well. please NLS what do I do with this girl?

ifyalways: Long lool @ lock up your food. That's pure waste of time with grave consequences. The OP's kids would pay for it.

@OP, what's really your situation? You have an adult(over 20), female, living with you, earning above 15K right?also you said you've equipped her . . . , how?

When you entrust your family(obviously you have little or no time) welfare, kids to anyone other than family, you have to force yourself to accept/ignore certain things.if its just small tid bits, so long as your kids are well taken care of, shrug it off.

If however the quantity is affecting your pocket, call her and subtly tell her that "you know she's been taking foodstuff from your house but right now, things are tight for you and you demand she stops"#2

Make her understand you, talk to her like you would to your sister.

Use gra gra would backfire on your kids.
Whatever you do, plan towards getting a work-and-go nanny. That's simply the best. . . For Naija.

Efemena_xy: CC, that's quite easy.

I think @poster's kids are of school age. So this girl would have a couple of hours available each weekday to see her boyfriend.

But the security issue you mention is such a serious point. Jeez! The thought of a strange man/men entering the home?? And sizing up what their property / household items are worth??!! Haaa! That's one step from armed robbery o!

The mere thought of it makes me panic! Naija armed robbers can do & undo...

Nonylove, if this is true, then better find a very diplomatic way to send this girl packing, abeg.

chaircover: I wasnt even thinking about the kids; which even brings a new dimension into the story.

If the girl is stealing repeatedly to satisfy her boyfriends needs, then there is also the possibility that the kids arent being looked after as well as they should be anyway. Where are the kids when she hands over the food? do the men come in (in which case she is entertaining strangers in the house) or does she leave the house to go and deliver the items (in which case are the kids left on their own while she goes off)? Are they safe in the house alone?

Anyhow, all these issues need to be addressed properly so that it all doesn't escalate into something else past a cup of rice. There are security issues, safety issues name it . . . ..

Have you considered meeting the boyfriend(s)? If she was serious with one, have you considered meeting him and see if there is anything you can do to equip him so he doesnt have to relay on stolen food?

Richvkunt: @OP,
Good morning,brother rvk reporting for duty.
Your maid steals food to satisfy her boyfriend? Secondly you are not sure if she steals your money,because you have so much that you do not know the amount in your purse?
My sincere advise: Watch your husband around this 24 year old,firm breas.ted, big bottee,coke bottle shaped,succulent skinned and delectable house girl.
A word is enough for the wise-remember man is a polygamous animal.

Efemena_xy: CC, that's quite easy.

I think @poster's kids are of school age. So this girl would have a couple of hours available each weekday to see her boyfriend.

But the security issue you mention is such a serious point. Jeez! The thought of a strange man/men entering the home?? And sizing up what their property / household items are worth??!! Haaa! That's one step from armed robbery o!

The mere thought of it makes me panic! Naija armed robbers can do & undo...

Nonylove, if this is true, then better find a very diplomatic way to send this girl packing, abeg.

minute: She probably thinks-these people have a lot more than i do, they wont miss just some food

which would help my friend/family a lot. The trouble is stealing a few things turns into

more and more, then perhaps stealing from shops . . . She needs to be told privately, we

want to trust you,please do not steal from us,if you desperately need help please talk to us.

pak:



We had house maids for some time while growing up and have always been a bit uncomfortable with the concept of house maids as practiced in this side of the world.
I think I go with Debreif on this issue.




And by the way - @poster - what are you doing with a 24 year old woman, who is not a relative, sharing your house with you 24/7 ? ? ?

A relative brought her because they know her family>

baby_123: Your own is small o. . But if you have little kids, having this strangers around them can be dangerous. And she is also promiscuous. Hope she doesn't get HIV and infect your kids unknowingly. You've got to be careful sha. I don't think I would like strange men around my house when I have kids.

Rukemi291: Mrs. A once gisted me about how terrible her househelp was too.

She said whenever she sent the househelp on errands, it took her like forever to finish them. One Sunday, she was to have visitors, so she sent her househelp to the market, to buy a few things to entertain the guests with. You can guess when she (the househelp) returned... after the visitors had gone.
She said this girl is also fond of talking to grown-up boys in the neighbourhood, though she has never caught her doing 'something' with them.

All these things infuriated her and she sent the girl back to the village.

Do you know the frustruating thing right now? Her 13 year old daughter washes the plates in not less than 5hours and Mrs. A once caught a love letter with the her (the daughter).

She was then asking me, would she send her daughter packing? To where?

So, Op, pls look critically at ur maid's case and don't just send her packing like that.

debrief08: Seriously sha, I think it is a little selfish to expect a 24 year old or anyone else to be at your beck and call 24/7, taking care of your family, when does she get to go and build her own?