Dear nonylove,
My candid advise is that you send the girl packing. Personally, i might be able to cope with someone stealing from me but it becomes a big deal if she steals and also brings strangers to your home. Most unschooled or underschooled 20 years and bove wants to explore. She's 24 and there is every probability she's doing things with the guys she brings to your house and God forbid maybe even in presence of your kids.
I have a 22 year old maid but ensures she goes away on weekends, that way she has 2 solid days in a week to experiment or do whatever she wants to do thereby allowing some sort of freedom that they badly need.
Let's not fool ourselves, she's 24, sexually active and has got eyes for the goodies of this world but has no or limited time for herself. its a time bomb waiting to happen. She either masters the act of stealing and rob your house completely or get careless with her boyfriends in front of your kids and do indiscrimate S£x.
I agree with debrief that the 7-7 option is the best as regards house maids but they are also hard to find especially in Abuja, so you should try that option if you live in Lagos or other part of the Country.
Goodluck sis but you need to act fast.

Thank you so much! I totally agree with you.

mrs flawless: Dear nonylove,
My candid advise is that you send the girl packing. Personally, i might be able to cope with someone stealing from me but it becomes a big deal if she steals and also brings strangers to your home. Most unschooled or underschooled 20 years and bove wants to explore. She's 24 and there is every probability she's doing things with the guys she brings to your house and God forbid maybe even in presence of your kids.
I have a 22 year old maid but ensures she goes away on weekends, that way she has 2 solid days in a week to experiment or do whatever she wants to do thereby allowing some sort of freedom that they badly need.
Let's not fool ourselves, she's 24, sexually active and has got eyes for the goodies of this world but has no or limited time for herself. its a time bomb waiting to happen. She either masters the act of stealing and rob your house completely or get careless with her boyfriends in front of your kids and do indiscrimate S£x.
I agree with debrief that the 7-7 option is the best as regards house maids but they are also hard to find especially in Abuja, so you should try that option if you live in Lagos or other part of the Country.
Goodluck sis but you need to act fast.

mrs flawless: Dear nonylove,
My candid advise is that you send the girl packing. Personally, i might be able to cope with someone stealing from me but it becomes a big deal if she steals and also brings strangers to your home. Most unschooled or underschooled 20 years and bove wants to explore. She's 24 and there is every probability she's doing things with the guys she brings to your house and God forbid maybe even in presence of your kids.
I have a 22 year old maid but ensures she goes away on weekends, that way she has 2 solid days in a week to experiment or do whatever she wants to do thereby allowing some sort of freedom that they badly need.
Let's not fool ourselves, she's 24, sexually active and has got eyes for the goodies of this world but has no or limited time for herself. its a time bomb waiting to happen. She either masters the act of stealing and rob your house completely or get careless with her boyfriends in front of your kids and do indiscrimate S£x.
I agree with debrief that the 7-7 option is the best as regards house maids but they are also hard to find especially in Abuja, so you should try that option if you live in Lagos or other part of the Country.
Goodluck sis but you need to act fast.

Too much freedom isnt good except you have educated her on sex so it doesnt backfire, cos if she gets pregnant its even better than contacting diseases... so i advise u still caution ur maid on this issues. girls of now nd days are jst too desperate. God help us.

...

How is she desperate? I don't get it

You refuse to give her "freedom" and she has chosen to deal with you financially and what not, so yea, keep caging her. Your caging method has obviously worked for you hasn't it?

Madam Nonny, I really don't mean to "judge" you but so many things hanging out.
First of all you insisted at the begining of "needing" someone 24/7 when I spoke you said it was the maid who "insisted"
Secondly, I asked if you pay her a decent wage you said you gave her what she asked for, if it is decent or not is not the issue.
I am sorry but you come off as not wanting to accept any responsibility.
You cannot keep someone locked in serving your family 24/7 and not expect these kind of behavior especially someone whose character you can't vouch for. What kind of work do you do that you need someone to wait on you 24/7?
Before you say its the maid who insisted on 24/7 remember you objected to my suggestion of a 7-7 in the begining.
A 24 year old lady should be working on building her life and her future, its nature you can't control her. Please for the stealing let her go if you can't forgive it, but I will advice as I have done that you rearrange your time and work with having a non stay at home maid. I don't know how much money you can pay someone to have them waiting on you 24/7

I had my first maid when she was out of secondary school, she worked weekdays and got admission for part-time college, friday afternoon I or my husband will pick up our son and drop him at day care so she could go for her studies, her personal life was not mine to monitor and intefer with.
When she asked for advice I gave it, apart from that my only concern is if she worked well and did what I asked her too. At 24 I spent most of my time with my then husband even though we were not married, that she is a maid doesn't make her desperate to be dating at 24. My former maid got married before 24, she is about to have her baby and I will have to do omuguo because she is an orphan.
However, I treat employees as my boss treats me, professionally, if we build a bond fine, but I find that most Nigerians see their employees as people they need to control totally. The ones that are particularly annoying are those who keep teenagers and start screaming because the girl is showing her teenager behavior, maids are not emotionless robots. They want the things you and I want too

Slave labour. Asking a 24yr old woman to work 24/7 and paying her peanuts. Send her away let her practice her sewing. Open a shop and pay her off, she is human and needs a luv life too like every young adult.
If u are not spoilt and lazy then a 7 to 7 maid should be ok for u. Get ur gadgets to make things easier at home. The days of live in maids are over.

My former maid/nanny comes in 6.30am n leaves anytime around 6-8pm depending on when she done. At times I let her go 4.30 or 5pm if she is done for the day. She even works on some saturdays too. I had rest of mind when she was working with me, it was really proffessional. She is mature n always knew what to do at the right time.She is on maternity leave now, she is married and she is abt 26years old.she was happy working for me, the best nannies to have is the 7-7 nannies, you will have peace of mind and you will really enjoy their services.

debrief08: I had my first maid when she was out of secondary school, she worked weekdays and got admission for part-time college, friday afternoon I or my husband will pick up our son and drop him at day care so she could go for her studies, her personal life was not mine to monitor and intefer with.
When she asked for advice I gave it, apart from that my only concern is if she worked well and did what I asked her too. At 24 I spent most of my time with my then husband even though we were not married, that she is a maid doesn't make her desperate to be dating at 24. My former maid got married before 24, she is about to have her baby and I will have to do omuguo because she is an orphan.
However, I treat employees as my boss treats me, professionally, if we build a bond fine, but I find that most Nigerians see their employees as people they need to control totally. The ones that are particularly annoying are those who keep teenagers and start screaming because the girl is showing her teenager behavior, maids are not emotionless robots. They want the things you and I want too

See from my point of view, i never referred to my maid as being desperate, If i could ask her to bring her boyfriend to introduce to us means i want the best for her as well! that reply was for Mrs Flawless if u go back to read it.... if i insisted she leaves today it will be like i am wicked i have had a lengthy talk with her and even her parent the agreement was for a period of time, she is not the only one staying with me so the issue cant do without her is not an issue at all. If sm1 doesnt like to go back to where she came from and u wnt me to push her out for the sake of beein considerate so she live her own life, where do u want her to go? if i can raise money for her to get a shop to practice her profession, how about the money for accommodation in lagos? If i send her away now and pay her off even when she doesn not want to go yet i really dont know how her parent will feel towards me.

I guess the best thing i can do is to encourage her to go and start with whatever we can raise for her even after paying her. her fear of not wanting to go back to he village might not really be a big deal if we can convince her to go back and start a life there. because as i can see u guys are assuming i cant cope without her. i have other people around me and besides i wonder the work she does if not to sweep and wash plate, she doesnt do the laundry nor cook , i do my cooking except am not around. she can get a husband too in the village and live a happy life. thanks guys for opening my eyes to see other things i never saw. All I was thinking was she could get sb to marry in lagos while she settles down and practice her profession, but if she is too desperate to marry she might fall into the hands of those that cant do anything for her but collect from her. thats my point guys. thats cos i wasnt brought up to be in a hurry for everything to avoid making mistakes. patients is the key, focus on what you know to do best and your dream and other thing will fall in place. men dont want lay about ladies again, they want responsible women that can support the home.

happimis: My former maid/nanny comes in 6.30am n leaves anytime around 6-8pm depending on when she done. At times I let her go 4.30 or 5pm if she is done for the day. She even works on some saturdays too. I had rest of mind when she was working with me, it was really proffessional. She is mature n always knew what to do at the right time.She is on maternity leave now, she is married and she is abt 26years old.she was happy working for me, the best nannies to have is the 7-7 nannies, you will have peace of mind and you will really enjoy their services.

The reason why i always need someone around is cos sometimes am away for a week, or even two as my job demands, i even ve a cuz that stays with me as well but only away on weekends. Like i said i will have to rethink and fashion out how to go about this, maybe it is time for her to go. my plans might not work for her.

Gaggi: Slave labour. Asking a 24yr old woman to work 24/7 and paying her peanuts. Send her away let her practice her sewing. Open a shop and pay her off, she is human and needs a luv life too like every young adult.
If u are not spoilt and lazy then a 7 to 7 maid should be ok for u. Get ur gadgets to make things easier at home. The days of live in maids are over.

Sometimes it is better to ignore people like you.

Madam na wa oh, why the vex? You want us to criticise your maid but you don't want to take any of the constructive criticism to you.
Who will force you to take any decision? If you are not ready to hear from different people and differnt veiws you shouldn't have come here.
You want us to heap the blame on the lady and make you out to be a saint?
You were the one who employed a maid and earlier insisited that only a 24/7 maid will work for you. What did you want us to say? If you like send her away na, who are you firing? Are we the ones who will stay in your house for you?
All we did was work with what you said. Calm down

Ha, i bet the girl will even give me better sex education! She's a notherner and her younger sister is married to my office assistant with 2 kids. The girl self by now wants to marry, i know she's seeing someone and they have concluded plans on getting married. she's 22 and 2 days off work is not too much freedom. she doesnt want to furher her education so i'm sure pregnancy and marriage are the next major things she's pursuing. before

nonylove:

Too much freedom isnt good except you have educated her on sex so it doesnt backfire, cos if she gets pregnant its even better than contacting diseases... so i advise u still caution ur maid on this issues. girls of now nd days are jst too desperate. God help us.

debrief08: Madam na wa oh, why the vex? You want us to criticise your maid but you don't want to take any of the constructive criticism to you.
Who will force you to take any decision? If you are not ready to hear from different people and differnt veiws you shouldn't have come here.
You want us to heap the blame on the lady and make you out to be a saint?
You were the one who employed a maid and earlier insisited that only a 24/7 maid will work for you. What did you want us to say? If you like send her away na, who are you firing? Are we the ones who will stay in your house for you?
All we did was work with what you said. Calm down

Madam Debrief hmmmmmmmm.... OK OOOOOO.
Thank you all the same

mrs flawless: Ha, i bet the girl will even give me better sex education! She's a notherner and her younger sister is married to my office assistant with 2 kids. The girl self by now wants to marry, i know she's seeing someone and they have concluded plans on getting married. she's 22 and 2 days off work is not too much freedom. she doesnt want to furher her education so i'm sure pregnancy and marriage are the next major things she's pursuing. before

Lolzzzz... Thats the thing with so many young people this days. Its a good thing if they have both got what to sustain a family with because marriage is an eye opener.

It is not a young people thing oh, any 22 year old girl should have at least a boyfriend and start learning how to be with someone. Like madam said Northerners marry early, those who delat do so because of school or have not found someone they want.
Its better to be married when you feel you have found someone than to be messing around.
Besides we were all young once and at 22 surely had boyfriends, so its not a young people of today thing

debrief08: It is not a young people thing oh, any 22 year old girl should have at least a boyfriend and start learning how to be with someone. Like madam said Northerners marry early, those who delat do so because of school or have not found someone they want.
Its better to be married when you feel you have found someone than to be messing around.
Besides we were all young once and at 22 surely had boyfriends, so its not a young people of today thing

You are always missing my point ooo. i believe b4 a woman should start thinking of marriage or pregnancy if u dont have opportunity to have a degree, at least have a profession u can support yourself with. i know at 22 for some people is not early for marriage but are they mature enough to handle marriage? or is it just the fact that all their friends are getting married or some will say they have younger ones who are already married with kids and so they must also rush into it.

Whatever age an adult chooses to marry its her choice we can only advice but that's where it stops. People marry early and late bot fail and both succeed, its their choice decision and they will live with consequencies

Na wa oh . . .

We condemn when they are underage and complain when they are of age . .

If an adult of 24 yrs old CHOOSES to work as someone's maid for an agreed sum, she's bound to live by the rule!

Nothing jsutifies a woman bringing strange men into the house of her employers. She's no more a kid for God's sakes, she should know better!

@ Poster, I think you should just let her go for the following reasons . . . .

1. You are obviously not capable of managing her. Not because of her age, but because the both of you need different things from each other and will only keep hurting yourselves cos you are not getting them!

2. You dont like her and she doesnt like you!

3. She's very irresponsible!

Like debrief suggested, get a 7-7. You dont need someone working for you all day long. Trust me, it's easier that way!

nonylove:

Am not sure of when she goes to see the boyfriends according to her confession she goes when me and my family are not around. The first time i discovered she had a bf i asked her to bring the boy we met in another place to talk with him, low and behold when we asked the boy his intentions for her he said only God can say for now that he still has a lot of thing to achieve. lol that got me thinking for the moment that she was being fooled but after so much advise am sure she couldn't break up with him.

Your posts showed that you have made some effort to treat this maid of yours like your sister----I have seen people that maltreat maids and some treatment you said that you give to her are nowhere near such maltreatments, don't relent you are not doing a bad job with her she happens to be moving with the wrong ones. Young men that will take things money/food from someone's maid are no decent persons neither are they mature enough to marry her if she is looking for a man to settle down with. Enlighten her more on making good choices, tell her the shame/disgrace that an irresponsible man may bring her in Life (with irresponsible actions) if she ends up choosing wrongly and settling with such. If you know what you will do to ensure that your own sister stays away from men that are not good for her do same for her, okay?

nonylove:

The reason why i always need someone around is cos sometimes am away for a week, or even two as my job demands, i even ve a cuz that stays with me as well but only away on weekends. Like i said i will have to rethink and fashion out how to go about this, maybe it is time for her to go. my plans might not work for her.

If you are sometimes away from home for a week or two, then you should think more seriously about your post below and work at closing in any loophole of such happening (like having another mature adult in the house say a relative of yours/your husband)-------

nonylove:

Welcome brother rvt, but really i know what my husband can do! i dont have any problem with that aspect... dont call me foolish..

-----because anything can happen. Don't be too confident of that if you spend weeks away from home. Guess you catch my drift.

nonylove:

Sometimes it is better to ignore people like you.

Truth hurts. U brought ur shiit to d public, u have to deal with all d opinions. U have a slave in this modern era and ur proud to say it. I wish u were a maid while growing up. Send her to d village indeed like u would do that to ur own daughter.
U are a stingy and self centered brat. Open a shop, rent a house and pay het off. All these wicked church going folks. Practice what is preached, luv thy neighbor as thyself.
Wetin she thief sef? Maybe a tuber of yam and few cups of rice and garri. No big deal aftertall women here endorse stealing from husbands wallet.

Ivynwa:

-----because anything can happen. Don't be too confident of that if you spend weeks away from home. Guess you catch my drift.

Another thread in d offing. HUSBAND IMPREGNATES MAID, HELP

Gaggi:

Truth hurts. U brought ur shiit to d public, u have to deal with all d opinions. U have a slave in this modern era and ur proud to say it. I wish u were a maid while growing up. Send her to d village indeed like u would do that to ur own daughter.
U are a stingy and self centered brat. Open a shop, rent a house and pay het off. All these wicked church going folks. Practice what is preached, luv thy neighbor as thyself.
Wetin she thief sef? Maybe a tuber of yam and few cups of rice and garri. No big deal aftertall women here endorse stealing from husbands wallet.

Some pple need to grow up if u come here and call me names i dont blame u, it is obvious u dont even understand this thread, u probably read a comment and concluded. like i said i will not in return call u names cos i was brought up well....and it is not a must u contribute if u must abuse people.

Ujujoan: Na wa oh . . .

We condemn when they are underage and complain when they are of age . .

If an adult of 24 yrs old CHOOSES to work as someone's maid for an agreed sum, she's bound to live by the rule!

Nothing jsutifies a woman bringing strange men into the house of her employers. She's no more a kid for God's sakes, she should know better!

@ Poster, I think you should just let her go for the following reasons . . . .

1. You are obviously not capable of managing her. Not because of her age, but because the both of you need different things from each other and will only keep hurting yourselves cos you are not getting them!

2. You dont like her and she doesnt like you!

3. She's very irresponsible!

Like debrief suggested, get a 7-7. You dont need someone working for you all day long. Trust me, it's easier that way!

Thanks@ujujoan just that i wont agree with ur statement that i dont like her, have treated her just like my sister. but like u said,we both probably want diff thngs frm each other that we may not get.