ebosed: Mr Preacher you have to be careful of what you teach here, by my reckoning there are over 968,199 members on this forum right now. Miss guiding these multitude can be very dangerous. Please follow me as I read the full text of this bible verse and explain the truth Mr. Preacher is shying away from. Please note that this is not a debate but TRUTH i know can set you free.

Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

Let's stop there, may God bless His word in the Name of Jesus Christ.

Just to drop a word before we go forward today; we realise from the Scriptures we have read in Matthew Chapter Nineteen that when people have problem with their marriages, the natural thing and the normal thing is to say “Well, can I put her away, can I divorce her, can I be free from this?” Or someone else might say “Well, if marriage is this difficult it is better never to marry!” But we find that Jesus our Lord has remained consistent that in the beginning it was not so. What you see in marriages today is quite, quite different from what God intended it to be in the beginning.
As a result of that we find Jesus recommended one step for us when He said “have you not read?” This means that for our homes to be correct and for us to pattern our families according to God's perfect will, we need to read, we need to study, we need to go back to the Manufacturer's manual; the Lord pointed this out to us in our last edition.

Today, I would like to go back to that same Manufacturer's manual - we started to look at it in the course of the last edition of this program. We saw that God Himself said that it is not good for a man to be alone; which means in the mind of God marriage is honourable. God Himself instituted marriage and so your marriage cannot violate Gods purpose by whatever you might be experiencing right now - God intended that marriage is good!

Now, what has happened that the same thing that God created and He brought forth by His power and His wisdom, how did that same thing become trouble in our flesh especially as we are going to be comparing and contrasting some of the things that you meet in the scriptures that will appear as a contradiction to God's original intent? We are going to be pointing those out today. How did those contrary observations come about and what had happened? What is God wanting us to know about marriage and about the Christian home as He conceived it in the beginning?

So I want us to quickly move back to Genesis chapter two where the matter really started.

Last week in Genesis Two we were able to study verse eighteen and we went essentially as far as verse twenty one. I would like to quickly repeat verse eighteen to verse twenty one, to see if we can quickly move on to verse twenty five today as the Lord enables us. Let's read it from the King James Version

Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Gen 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Gen 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

Gen 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

Gen 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

May God bless His word into our hearts in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now I realise even from this simple Scriptures we have read that there is a lot that we are going to be learning about on the intent of the Principles of God's original marriage for His people. This we shall be looking at in detail as we go through this series by the grace of God. But today I just want us to run through it and look at what marriage was in the beginning and how problem came in, how the trouble entered into marriage so that we might know how to treat it and how to deal with as the Lord grants us understanding.

We have said in verse eighteen that it was God Himself that said “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make him an help meet for him.” Now, what we have said is that God Himself is the Originator and the Designer and the Creator of marriage, it is God Himself that said it is not good for the man to be alone and whatever reason God had by concluding that it is not good for a man to be alone, I believe that that wisdom of God is wiser than all wisdom we can put together today no matter how independent you feel you are and no matter how you have constructed your mind: it is simply because you do not really know that God had an intention for your marriage and that intention is not to bring trouble to your family, it is not to bring a liability to your life. You see that in verse eighteen God never called a woman a trouble, God never referred to your husband as an exploiter - God never brought a liability, a problem into your life by giving you that woman. Actually what God intends every marriage to be is a help: He said 'It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make for him an help uniquely fitting and uniquely qualified to meet the need in his life.' So I want you to agree with me here that every marriage instituted by God is meant to be a help, is meant to be a support is meant to enable a man fulfill the purpose, the call and the will of God for his life.

I would like to say immediately that your wife is not intended by God to be a trouble to your flesh; if she is giving you trouble today something else has happened and I want you to come with us carefully in order to find out how God will reveal where the trouble came about. If your husband is giving you heartache now, that was not God's intention and though you may think it is better for you not to be in that marriage, God still says marriage is good. So why don’t you seat down and say to God “how will you make my marriage work? How will you make my own marriage to become what you want it to be?” That’s the kind of thing we are trusting that the Lord will bring about in the Name of Jesus Christ as we continue this particular series of study.

I am coming back to deal with Genesis Two later on as we go on when we consider the principles of marriage by the grace of God. But at this juncture, I just want you to have an understanding that it is God that made this: He said “I will make him...” Gen. 2:18. We have spoken extensively about that.

Now in verse twenty one, we saw what God did and we saw a principle that the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. Here, we are seeing that in order for God to make your wife for you, you must allow God to have His way; you must let God step into it and you must not interrupt or interfere in what God is about to do in that relationship in any way. I want us to go on believing that the messages that we have brought you in the past week will help you to catch up with us because I want us now to see something in verse Twenty One

I would like to say immediately that your wife is not intended by God to be a trouble to your flesh; if she is giving you trouble today something else has happened and I want you to come with us carefully in order to find out how God will reveal where the trouble came about. If your husband is giving you heartache now, that was not God's intention and though you may think it is better for you not to be in that marriage, God still says marriage is good. So why don’t you seat down and say to God “how will you make my marriage work? How will you make my own marriage to become what you want it to be?” That’s the kind of thing we are trusting that the Lord will bring about in the Name of Jesus Christ as we continue this particular series of study.

Gen 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

Gen 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Let's pause here.

There is something that I notice God has done here in His original plan for marriage which if you begin to understand and you begin to apply your heart to it will turn your marriage around even as you listen to us.

The first thing I noticed is this - as the man released his life to God and he agreed to sleep, no longer worried and anxious, no longer running up and down, the Lord did something. He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof (and you will see something there) and from the rib which the Lord had taken from man He made a woman and brought it to the man. He looks to me as if in God's eternal wisdom for a correct marriage to take place and for a correct joining to take place God decided that the woman that must become the wife for Adam must originate, must have the same texture and the same nature as Adam himself. So you see God went ahead and took one rib out of the man and that rib He used to make the woman.

Now what is the implication of this? The first implication I want you to note here is the fact that God doesn’t make mistake when He chooses a man and a woman to become husband and wife. If you allow God to work on your marriage, He will never make a mistake, He normally will choose someone that is compatible with your life. God will normally choose someone and bring someone who will normally fit into your life, someone who can share your lifestyle: someone who can share the same vision, the same burden with your life. If your wife has not become that I am trusting God that this will happen in the Name of Jesus Christ.

Hear what the Word of God says - the Lord took one of his ribs, closed up the flesh instead thereof. What does that mean? It means that in order for marriage to actually become effective, God had to create a loop-hole in the life of that man. I would like to say to every man listening to me here that there is a missing rib in your life and the only person that God has made to bring that completeness, to restore that loss to your life is your wife - the woman God has made for you! It doesn’t matter how educated you are, it doesn’t matter how rich you think you have become and how independent you have become over the years - the truth is that there is a missing rib in your life, there is something that is missing in your life! You may not feel it because the Bible said God has closed up the flesh instead thereof. I want you to see the wisdom of God here that though God closed the flesh instead thereof, God only closed it until the right person will fit-in so that wrong things are not used to block it! I realise that God covered it not wanting you to be under pressure and not wanting the environmental circumstances to just come and fill your life! But that covering was only waiting until the right woman will be brought to fit in.

I pray that you will understand that e-v-e-r-y man has a need in his life and that need is the need for his wife, the need for a woman to come and fit-in and fill-up! You may be very good in many things and you may be perfect in many areas of life but there is a missing rib and it is only your wife, the woman that God is preparing and has made for your life, that can provide that missing rib. If you would see clearly in the Scripture where it said - and the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man - that is the miracle of the Genesis Two marriage and that is the miracle of all Christian homes where-ever you allow God to handle the need of your life.
So you see that the Genesis Two marriage is not a competitive relationship but rather a complementary one: God prepares and God makes the woman to come and fit into the loop hole in the life of that man! God prepared that woman to come and provide that lack. You see in every home that God had instituted, that is what God wanted. Listen Madam (I want you to listen): God has not brought you into the life of your husband to compete with him - you are not supposed to compete with him! God has created a loop hole in his life so that you can fit in, so that you can supply that missing link! Some of you complain and say “my husband is not like this, my husband cannot do this and he is not like that.” Listen! those things that you are complaining about concerning your husband may be the missing rib. Would you look in to your own life and into your own make-up to check and find out if those things you are complaining about and those things that are missing in your husband are not the things God particularly built and emphasised in your character so that you and your husband could come together and become one flesh, so that everything in your marriage becomes complete and whole? Whatever we don’t find in your husband we should find it in your life!

That is the plan of God. Whatsoever your husband seem to have left undone, God's intention is that the supply, the completion, the fullness be brought into that man's life through your own life. That is the purpose of God. Now Madam, I want you to think as I go ahead. Husband! I want you to seat down and listen carefully - have you been bragging and believing that 'Well, I can do without my wife?' One of the things you need to recognise is that there is a place God particularly created for your wife! And that is why there is a missing rib in your life. That missing rib ought not to be the issue of quarreling! That missing rib ought not to be an issue you use to intimidate each other or you use to abuse each other. No! Madam, those things that you discovered to be missing in your husband's life, you were meant, you were created and designed by God to supply it.

So when I see a man complaining and saying “Well, my wife is not like me,” let me tell you: your wife was not designed nor made to be a duplication of yourself! You can see Jesus when He was answering that question in Matthew Nineteen, He said “Have you not read that He that made them at the beginning made them male and female.”

What is the meaning of that?

He did not make them male and male. May I say to you Mr. Man as you are flexing your muscles and you are bringing all your might to fight your wife, remember that she is only one rib and you are several ribs. God wanting to seal that vacuum in your life brought her into your life: that was God's eternal purpose for bringing that woman. She is not there to compete with you. So don't you keep on comparing and contrasting yourself with your wife. No! You are meant to complement each other, designed to fill up and compensate for each other! You know He said “a help meet...” May God help you to understand that word “...a help fit...” - a help that will just fit in … as if there was a socket and there is this bone that would enter in and everything will be complete. That is God's eternal purpose.

The Bible said “the rib which the Lord had taken from man made a woman and brought her unto the man.” You see God is planning to bring your woman, your wife, that particular woman He has been preparing. I told you that if you will allow God, He can work on your life, He can work on your husband, He can work on your wife so that God Himself will bring her to fit-in, even as we speak, no matter what might have gone amiss. And there will be no loop-hole again. God's intention for every couple when the two of them are joined together is that there should be a fitting-in and that there should be a joining and a cleaving and that they become one flesh, inseparable.

So the word of God said “And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” Gen.2:23. You see in Genesis chapter two, the man realised (and for your marriage to be correct you need to come to this realization) that this woman you are seeing is not another person, she is not another personality, she is not just another woman coming from somewhere just to come and compete with you and you yourself are struggling with her. This is the bone of your bones! This woman is actually part and parcel of yourself and until she is brought in there will always remain a loop-hole in your life. Until your wife is integrated into your life there is always going to be a loop-hole in your life no matter how great you are, no matter how popular you may be in the society there will always remain a loop-hole in your life. There is only one person that can fit in - it is that woman.

Adam saw it and said “Ah-ah this now is the bone of my bone” (which means I have searched up and down for what could fit into my life and there was nothing that would fit, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh). “She shall be called woman...” not because of anything, not because she is beautiful nor because she is hardworking but because she is taken out of man! I will be dealing with these principles much more when I am dealing with the roles, the responsibilities and relationship within the Christian home.

But what I am dealing with today is what is marriage in the beginning. I saw that marriage is not competitive – it is not a struggle between a man and a woman - and that God didn’t make them to be the same: they are not a duplication. Madam! God made them male and female: and so for you to keep dreaming when your husband will exactly become like yourself is a mistake - you have already missed the purpose of God for marriage if you do that. God had decided that those strong points of your life will be the weak point in your husband so that you could fit in. God deliberately made no husband and his wife to be equal. Are you understanding me now? None of you was particularly made to be at the same level. What God decided to do in His eternal wisdom is to create a gap (there is a gap in the life of the man) that the woman will fit into, and there is a need in the life of the woman that the man will come and complement. That was the purpose.

God now says “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife...” Gen 2:24 By the time we come again I would like you to follow me and we will look at - the therefore of marriage, the therefore of relationship. God will cause that to come as we study together in the name of Jesus Christ.

But meanwhile before we leave, Jesus said “have you not read?” Now, one thing that will solve the problem in your marriage is for you to go back and see what is the Manufacturer's manual. Let's study together, let's pray again and say “God! show me your eternal purpose.” Maybe you have been thinking that your wife is competing with you and you are competing with her in return. Stop that! She is supposed to complement you. Madam! you are supposed to fit into that man's life, his weakness is not supposed to be the basis of your quarrel!!

Bow your head right now and accept the man God gave you, accept the woman God gave you. Embrace her right now and say “Yes! you are my bone, my weakness you will supply, my strength I will pass on into your life so that the two of us might grow together and nobody would know who is strong and who is weak between me and you.”

guy, u get time o

Smallville4live: Both of them should remain in the marriage. For God does not support divorce. Marriage is a lifetime thing.

If there is threat to life, you have the option of seperation. You can be seperated from your partner for as long as possible, but not divorce them. If you divorce them, the two of you shouldn't be remarried to another, because the reason for the divorce was not infidelity.

Crownvilla: @ OP and all;Aren't we missing something here? Jesus the authur and finisher of our faith talks specifically about fornication and NOT adultery as the condition that allows a person to divorce his/her spouse in Mat 19:9 (At least in the King James Version) Are we saying that Jesus doesn't/didn't know the difference between fornication and adultery?

[size=14]Kill your confusion by reading as many translations as possible[/size].

emmanwandud: If ur wife is been disturbed by marine or forest spirit under such grounds do we classify it under anullment or outright divorce

[size=14]Prayers, and faith in GOD can save her. Please don't ask me if you should divorce your partner if they have fever![/size]

otooro: 5. If you must divorce due to infidelity, then you can't re-marry, hence it is adultery.

[size=14]Please don't contradict Matthew 5: 32; "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for intimate immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits
adultery."[/size]

@ charlsecy4,

Matthew 5 verse 32 and Mat 19:9 (King James Version) quotes Jesus as saying: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

The vesion that you have quoted replaces "fornication" with "intimate immorality" (I'm not trying to drail the thread and talk about bible transalations).

Aren't we missing something here?

Jesus the authur and finisher of our faith talks specifically about fornication and NOT adultery as the condition that allows a person to divorce his/her spouse in Mat 19:9 (At least in the King James Version)

Are we saying that Jesus doesn't/didn't know the difference between fornication and adultery? A previous poster asked how can a married person commit fornication? (a very good question, in my humble opinion) only to be brushed aside/dismissed with the wave of the hand by another poster!


Your comments please.

bamto: @ OP. Your deductions are sound but your premise is confusing. You mixed up the conditions for divorce in a Christian marriage with the conditions for annulment in law.

*Title adjusted to better reflect modified content*
However, those conditions for annulment are very applicable, especially in the Catholic Church, which is a Christan sect.

bamto: The trouble with many christians is the foundation. When you get unequally yoked with unbelievers or nominal christians, divorce is not far from you. No two sincere children of God marry and get divorced cos God is not the author of confusion.

I agree with you. People marry for very wrong reasons these days!

Crownvilla: @charlsecy4,
Matthew 5 verse 32 and Mat 19:9 (King James Version) quotes Jesus as saying: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. The vesion that you have quoted replaces "fornication" with "intimate immorality" (I'm not trying to drail the thread and talk about bible transalations). Aren't we missing something here?

Go through http://bible.cc/matthew/5-32.htm and http://bible.cc/matthew/19-9.htm

I put s.exual immorality. It's Nairaland word censor that changed it to intimate immorality.

charlsecy4:

If there is threat to life, you have the option of seperation. You can be seperated from your partner for as long as possible, but not divorce them. If you divorce them, the two of you shouldn't be remarried to another, because the reason for the divorce was not infidelity.



[size=14]Please don't contradict Matthew 5: 32; "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for intimate immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits
adultery."[/size]

I don't think i'm contradicting the Bible. Just like you quoted (in italics) "anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery" - whatever the reason. Remember: "Till death do us part" except for death no remarriage.

otooro: I don't think i'm contradicting the Bible. Just like you quoted (in italics) "anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery" - whatever the reason. Remember: "Till death do us part" except for death no remarriage.

[size=15]The passage says, ""But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for intimate immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

When a partner is involved in marital infidelity, they break the "one flesh" covenant!

The portion in green reflects that the divorce happened for a reason other that infidelity, in view of the text in blue. It could be due to abuse, gross disrespect, etc.[/size]

1st Corinthians 7 vs 10 and 11. There's no room for divorce in a REAL Christian marriage according to the bible.

jammyng: 1st Corinthians 7 vs 10 and 11. There's no room for divorce in a REAL Christian marriage according to the bible.

That says, "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."

It is wrong to say, "There's no room for divorce."

charlsecy4:

[size=15]The passage says, ""But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for intimate immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

When a partner is involved in marital infidelity, they break the "one flesh" covenant!

The portion in green reflects that the divorce happened for a reason other that infidelity, in view of the text in blue. It could be due to abuse, gross disrespect, etc.[/size]

broda, a xtian isn't permitted to divorce. if for ANY reason, he/she does, he/she can't re-marry except the spouse is dead.

1 Cor. 7:10-11

charlsecy4:

That says, "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."

It is wrong to say, "There's no room for divorce."

like i said in a REAL Christian marriage. All i want to point out is that a Christian CANNOT re-marry even for infidelity.

...

I agree with to some extent. Adultery means someone who is married and he or she is having affairs outside the marriage. (Matt: 5:27-32; Mark 10:4-12; 1Corin 10-11) Fornication is anyone that is yet to be married but have more than one partner. It is only permitted for such person if he/she discover with undeniable proof that his/her partner is no longer faithful. Such relation can be discountinued and look for someone no matter how long the relationship has been in existence.

;

(

livethinme:

guy, u get time o

u wey quote am are a waste of pple's time!>:

jamp: Anybody dt divorces his/her partner on the groundsd of infidelity is not ready for marriage. The person has been looking for a way out of the union else why can't he/her forgive the person??
.[color=#006600][/color]
A good christian should not encourage divorce

My Dear brother or sister, what if the cheating continues to cheat with reckless abandon and is not repentant to the extent that he moved out of their bedroom and has been denying his wife sex. ...is that
not living in bondage? .

All these long legal analysis will not be necessary if people who are godly in thought, words and deeds are joined in holy matrimony...all these are the reactions of Christianity to the antics of satan against the church and for how long must we always be on the reactionary side...May GOD help her weak bride!

As far as I'm concerned, there could be no room for divorce in a real Christian marriage.

In a situation where the life of either the wife or the husband is in danger as a result of violence from either of them,what would be your submission?