Johndoe100: @Guitarlife

They don't get it probably because they don't want to . At some level they understand.

We will always fight the good fight.

I see that our resident witch (iya aje) has become a self appointed moderator giving orders left and right, so sad.

Guitarlife: Was he lying ? As long as he is saying the truth honey, he is welcome. By the way is he ?
We need to drum it into the ears of people preparing for marriage that they will not have a covering over their head if they petulantly make a wrong choice of spouse as a result of effemeral things and divorce them latter.
Infact, we need to make them realise that on here, the punishment for such cowardice is the gallows. This will make them look beyond the brazillian and peruvian hair.
What moral stand does debrief has to put up such a satirical thread. How can you possibly give something you don't have.
If she felt the need to post on here albeit compulsively nothing stopped her from using far more ethical headings like 'The facts I failed to acknowledge going into my first ever marriage' or 'Avoid this mistakes and I am talking from personal experience' you get my drift do you ?
Johndoe, congrats and may you live long enough to enjoy your marriage into it's 70th and 80th year.
You don't know how much of an inspiration you are to us single lads. Now we know holding down a family is not rocket science.

Efemena_xy:

The heck!

Sorry Debrief / Jenny...I just have to respond to this.

Guitarlife, since you wanna get personal instead of focusing on the message behind this thread, then let's do it your way.

Guitarlife, if EVER there was a more apt description for a gullible / mumu person, you sure fit it. To a "T"! Nor let follow-follow or the need to "belong" kill you. At least try using your braincells for once!

Going by your analysis, then your pal Richknvut should be sent to the gallows too, abi? Afterall, he's in the same boat as Debrief. You do know that, don't you?

Do you honestly believe JohnDoe practises what he preaches? You seriously "think" a mature man who claims to have > 20 years worth of matrimony to the same partner does half of the junk he spews out here on an anonymous forum? Do you not realise he most likely laughs at you? You, who still dey find marriage? Why do'you think it's taking you so long to settle? I mean going by the thread you opened seeking advice on here?

You really displayed your immaturity here. You're not married. You don't know what it's like to be married, nor do you know what it feels like to be married. So how can you offer advice on something you haven't got an inkling on?

Nor be by force to comment. This thread is way beyond your comprehensive capabilities. Next time you come across such threads, just read, hold your peace and MOVE ON!

Shikena!

Icherishu: I have learnt a lot from this forum eventhough I might not comment all the time. Debrief please forgive me if am to reply to the likes of Guitarlife, I am really pissed off at the way he comes to this forum to portray an holier than thou attitude. For God sake, why do some people have self esteem issues and feel that their opinion must count and stand rather than others without looking at the points raised objectively.

Guitarlife, if it is taking you 7years to look for a spouse that means you need to do self appraisal. Maybe you are looking for the miss perfect in which you might not find. Debrief decided to walk out of an abusive marriage and then what, must she have died there like the likes of Skye bank lady or she should have waited for her hubby to bath her with acid like the woman the hubby suspected she was sleeping with the father in-law (yet to be proven).

For God sake, what is the hype you and Johndoe is creating about this lady. I am very very young in marriage but I don't believe that people should stay in abusing n violent marriage. You can't keep on massaging or petting a grown man's ego that has refused to change or work on his character simply because he is a man. I am not an advocate of "walk away without giving it a try" but when all channels have failed and walking away is the last option. So you should stay and die simply because you took vows.

Let me ask you, will you tolerate a wife that brings another man to your matrimonial bed simply because u took a vow? If you end up marrying a woman that physically she has an upper hand and she gets to abuse you or rather she abuses you emotionally. Will u stay? Stop acting as if you are God and you know the heart of a man, a perfect woman to you today might turn imperfect tommorrow. If you like take 20years to look for that kind woman, when it gets worst then it is worst. People don't change cos someone out there forced them to change, they change because they want to change.

So young man cut Debrief this holier than thou attitude and face realities of life. Remember the only constant thing in life is change. Keep searching for your miss perfect, when you find one let us know.

bjcole: @ maclatunji, sorry i took time 2 answer u, i ve been busy wit RDM & chelsea issue, to answer ur question: YES, one can walk out or leave a marriage dat is not working, but there r conditions for it. My argument is this: marriage itself is not all rosy rosy, there r so many ups & down, hence d vow: 4 better 4 worse, d ability 2 manage those tough times is d enduring spirit. I speak like this becos i ve had & seen so many divorced ladies & their reasons r just unfounded.......... contd

Abali1: This is what I hate about NL. Someone will come out of know with know other intention but to derail/spoil a beautiful thread. It is not as if the person has a better opinion.
My aunt was married for twenty years or more, but it didn't stop her husband from bringing in another woman who eventually caused so much trouble in an otherwise peaceful home and forced my aunt out of her matrimonial home.
A year or two later the man has to chase the woman out his house and after about three years or more, the man died without a woman in his home.

so someone having two decades of marriage does not make him an expert in expert in marriage councelling.

debrief08: Efe you reply again I will take serious offence. What "reasoning" do you want?
It is the same old issue thread after thread, you drag it on any longer I will be upset. Don't derail this thread anymore.

bjcole: some one onced asked, do u stay in marriage when u r constantly being abused, d issue is d husband cannot just start abusing his wife 4 no cause, though i dnt support this, but d one that wants out wil always magnify this issue, it take 2 to tangle & it takes 2 to fight, i read some f Debrief comments in d past, & i ve seen her controlling nature, which i think so many guys woundnt take, so i m nt too surprised she was once married. I usually say dat d only reason i can divorce my wife ..... contd

Efemena_xy:

The heck!

Sorry Debrief / Jenny...I just have to respond to this.

Guitarlife, since you wanna get personal instead of focusing on the message behind this thread, then let's do it your way.

If EVER there was a more apt description for a gullible / mumu person, you sure fit it, to a "T"! Nor let follow-follow or the need to "belong" kill you. At least try using your braincells for once!

Going by your analysis, then your pal Richknvut should be sent to the gallows too, abi? Afterall, he's in the same boat as Debrief. You do know that, don't you?

Do you honestly believe JohnDoe practises what he preaches? You seriously "think" a mature man who claims to have > 20 years worth of matrimony to the same partner does half of the junk he spews out here on an anonymous forum? Do you not realise he most likely laughs at you? You, who still dey find marriage? Why do'you think it's taking you so long to settle? I mean going by the thread you opened seeking advice on here?

You really displayed your immaturity here. You're not married. You don't know what it's like to be married, nor do you know what it feels like to be married. You know zilch about marriage. So how can you offer advice on something you haven't got an inkling on? Just quit dishing out the small-boy advice here.

Nor be by force to comment. This thread is way beyond your comprehensive capabilities. Next time you come across such threads, just read, hold your peace and MOVE ON!

Shikena!

Efemena_xy:

The heck!

Sorry Debrief / Jenny...I just have to respond to this.

Guitarlife, since you wanna get personal instead of focusing on the message behind this thread, then let's do it your way.

If EVER there was a more apt description for a gullible / mumu person, you sure fit it, to a "T"! Nor let follow-follow or the need to "belong" kill you. At least try using your braincells for once!

Going by your analysis, then your pal Richknvut should be sent to the gallows too, abi? Afterall, he's in the same boat as Debrief. You do know that, don't you?

Do you honestly believe JohnDoe practises what he preaches? You seriously "think" a mature man who claims to have > 20 years worth of matrimony to the same partner does half of the junk he spews out here on an anonymous forum? Do you not realise he most likely laughs at you? You, who still dey find marriage? Why do'you think it's taking you so long to settle? I mean going by the thread you opened seeking advice on here?

You really displayed your immaturity here. You're not married. You don't know what it's like to be married, nor do you know what it feels like to be married. You know zilch about marriage. So how can you offer advice on something you haven't got an inkling on? Just quit dishing out the small-boy advice here.

Nor be by force to comment. This thread is way beyond your comprehensive capabilities. Next time you come across such threads, just read, hold your peace and MOVE ON!

Shikena!

bjcole: if she is an infidel,but that is if she is nt remorseful abt it & stop completely, though d marriage cannt be like b4, but its better 4 me 2 forgive becos there r nothing that says d next woman would nt do worse. & 4 d sake f my kids, i woud not want. i can practically seperate 4rm an infidel if i cant cope, but i wouldnt marry again or ve other kids else where, i ve seen 2many polygamous wahala, that i m nt ready 2 create any, stay in ur marriage & work it out, God is able

Guitarlife: This has nada to do with debrief it's all about educating our young ladies who will give their pinky finger to marry an abuser just cause he could afford to buy them a BB.
If you don't know how pathetic these present generation of ladies are, go to the romance section and see the manner in which young ladies are throwing themselves at men shamelessly for a months subscription.
Is it this same women that you will pity when the chicken comes home to roost? They shamelessly declare that thier love is for the highest bidder and go ahead to act like so. I am just concerned that's all, and to give them a reprieve that they reserve the right to walk away when the tables turn is at best traumatic .
People should learn to take responsibility for their actions whether Man or woman and this is the fact I am trying hard to drum into the ears of peeps like your self. Marriage vow is not by force and if you decide to take it without doing your assignment and end up divorcing, don't expect that the society or me will look up to you like a role model.
You wanna be a role model then pay the freacking price, hold your marriage together, raise your home, respect the sanctity of matrimony and there you have my respect but you skedaddling and expecting me to respect you no matter how sweet your mouth is forget it. I do hopet this is clear enuff.

Guitarlife: Don't you get it? She stood before God and man and made a convenant .She swore that she was gonna stand by a man 'in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health till death did them part' . What kind of woman makes a meal of such words.
Was she not aware that things could go awry when she was saying those ?
What am on about is that if she knew quite well that she was gonna skeddadle when and if things hotted up. She shoulda keep her mouth shut.
She could have asked the priest to skip that part and not gone ahead to bellow into the mic when she knew she was just there for the good.
Yeah! What I'm saying is that when she took those vows, she already signed up to die if that was what it would have required to stay in the marriage.
Why don't you read the marriage vows again and then tell me if it's not bondage yes it is. If you can't stand the freaking heat then don't even walk into the oven.
Is that too hard to comprehend ? In conclusion all divorcees are cowards simples especially those who walked out on a marriage cos their lives was at a risk.
They don't have any respect for their words so don't expect me to have any respect for them.