Jenny abeg forget that one jor!

I don move on jare...

^^ I am but a silent observer Just yesterday abi the day before, he dragged my name into a Convo he was having with Debrief "the thread starter" on that "Rccg day care thread". No one queried him for mentioning my name on that thread. Why my name was even mentioned, I have no idea. Someone "dragged his name" here and lo and behold people are going on their knees apologising. I have never been so jealous in my life

Yeye dey smell. and to think that just last week I almost asked tgirl to reopen my thread I asked her to lock a few weeks ago , so I can continue asking those that glamorise divorce more questions I had already jotted down on a sheet of paper.

Truth is that there was no point for that, if we had ignored the circle of having to defend our oppinions and "attacks" e for no reach begging level.
Some people will always be who there are, I have made peace with that and learnt to skip because go through 20 posts it is the same issue. Even if they do somethings I see no sense in mud rolling and tit for tat.
About dragging your name, I saw it for what it was, attention seeking from you and I trusted that as you did you would ignore it. It is a familiar trap, some people can't go a sentence without your name, e get name wey them they call that kain thing.

Anyway all said and done, am sure you are back to enjoying your kpekus which keeps you away from us these days.

So in summary what I gathered from the 3 priest cos OMG !!! I've never talked for that long in my entire life

Moses ( one even said Jesus) allowed divorce because of the hardness( abuse) of someone's ( spouse's) heart and when there is no more softness ( remorseful/ change) to that heart.

I'm sorry but that's word for word

They quoted Matthew 19 and 1 Corinthians: 7( where Paul talked about divorce)

They all said NOBODY should stay in abusive marriage

But it now depends on what each spouse's definition of abuse is which is the most sensitive Topic to deal with as a pastor cos what is abuse for A is not for B, because Abuse is a subjective word.

A n y w aaays

It was a very long recorded conversation but since they all came to the same conclusion.

and 2 invited me over for tea/coffee cos they think I'm having problems in my marriage.

I must say its a very interesting topic to learn more about.

And oh!.... they said the 'VOW' is not biblical but a cultural thing and that's why the Roman Catholics do Annulment of Marriage .

I see the witches, biatchs and hoes are all a tither. How nice. Confronted by intelligent and rational thought they are all a quiver!!!!

@ debrief08
Are there members that don't matter? I see, I thought all members of the forum were important. So sad.

@Efemena_xy
Are you so low on the pecking order of the cabal that debrief now gives you orders? I weep for you. So sad!!!

@Guitarlife & Richy

Please my brethren, do not let these deluded girls (they are not fit to be called women) confuse or divert us. We have a duty to assist the younger generation, point them in a SANE AND RATIONAL direction. We will always point out the NONSENSE that they throw into the public domain.

I have NOTHING AT ALL against debrief and neither should you, but she CANNOT be giving advice on marriage to INNOCENT AND VULNERABLE youth. Misery loves company but she has enough with all the witches and biatchs in the cabal.

Marriage is a sacred covenant and not to be trifled with like the morally loose women here do.

Now now don't shoot the messenger That was what I was told and that's why I asked three different pastors from different denominations so I can figure this vow Guitar keeps alarming on, I really don't give a hoot.

Jide Girl. Thank You for the great research. I have always asked for Biblical references for the vows especially the till "death do us part" part but no one seems to have the answer. Its good to know that the vows used to induce guilt for people in bad situations is not biblical after all.
Summary, Bible clearly Permits divorce, no marraige vows in the bible, they are man made, This is wonderful great research, thank you.
I wish I could give you a hug, well done.

Yep yep....Nuh un Not Biblical but Cultural.

But Debrief btw me and you ; so are you telling me you didn't even make any effort to find out about this vow thing cos I know you must have went thru a series of bashing and judgment

or could it be you just didn't want to open that chapter of your life again(I don't think so)and just decided to seal it?

Obviously I don't leave any stone unturned...I spent my whole lunch break doing this research, enough is enough.

Lol Jide, You na real detective, a whole lunch break, you try jor.
Actually we didn before we remarried, after my divorce, I felt condemned so I avoided Church, the Church we attended then didn't do me good (story for another day), I was hurt and betrayed by so many actions. However I took time during my seperation to study the bible Genesis to Revelation and No mention of Wedding Vows, when I met my husband His mother also highlighted that, the Priest also told us about it, I always throw open the Vow question especially the till death part so someone can answer and no one did till today.
I owe you a bottle of wine

Thanks I'll sleep on it , make it Pinot ....nite night...my babe is dragging me inside , it's 11:47pm.....work tomorw

Night love.
Let me get the Church thing off my chest today. It is one of those churches obsessed with branches in every corner.
Anyway, My Ex was a major financial muscle, bought Pastor a Car and sponsored one or (wo foreign trips. So when there is conflict and I report to His Pastor( I joined him from another church) I got the "be submissive, fast and pray sermon, He is a generous man, don't disturb him, if he upsets you pray to God for comfort"
Anyway, one day I had brusies as usual, I normally wear long sleaves and shades when I have bruises because I am fair skinned and it shows easily, so It was really hot and there was a tiny one behind my neck I imagined my hair will cover it so I didn't tie a veil round my neck as usual, I have never seen Pastors wife so upset, and it wasn't because I was beaten and bruised it was because I didn't cover it well.m
She dragged me and gave me a serious lecture on how to properly cover up and "hide my shame", told me that people will start talking and I shouldn't bring shame to my husband, even advised that on days I was too badly bruised I should simply send my offering and not attend church. Lol
When I was in the hospital, none of them came simply called and "prayed" for me. When I left and didn't go back Madam Pastor called almost cursing me on the phone and ordering me back home, when she was done I called her by her full name and asked if she didn't have anything better to do like covering her husbands recent scandal with choir girl up. Dead silence on the other line, I know so many others face the same

Debrief, a " church" that covers up evil is no church!

Name and shame them here pls!

Can't we just talk without whipping up sentiments ? I can't believe you will expect that this playing the victim card and trying hard to look like a really abused individual still cuts it.
You can wear whatever you like but stop misleading young women who are going through hiccups in their marriage.
When you knew the marriage vow was cultural why did you take it in the first place HYPOCRITE!
Why didn't you ask the priest to skip that part and get the other aspects of the wedding ceremony ovet with.
Like they put a gun to your head when you were taking the vow. Is it to hard to phantom [b]if you are an epic fail in something you have no right whatsoever to come out and give advice on that same issue [/b]it is quite simple isn't it ?
And stop lying against your husband debrief, it's not fair. If you must then get him here so that he can refute and state his own side of the story too. You should know as a lawyer that in the court of law even the deadliest killer has a right to an attorney.

StateOfMind:

Guitarlife, not again!! Haba..them swear for you with this woman matter??

And you saying johndoe is an inspiration to you is just unbelievable..

Yeah! He is cos I old I be sef, that is a man that has been content with the same punny for 20+ years (I'm sorry if that sounded x-rated but that is the stuff real men are made of).
Do you know what that means ? How many men could possibly do that ? He has earned my respect, if a man who is married to the same woman for 20+ years isn't worthy of my respect is it the woman who ran away from her matrimonial home less that 3 years into it that will earn it ?
More worrisome is the vitriolic onslaught she has declared on her estranged husband. It shows clearly that she never respected that man. If she ever did she won't find it a pasttime to continously humiliate that man and blackmail him on every and any board .
Her action is disgusting and speaks volumes of her disposition to the man when they were married.

Efe, as disgraceful as so many uterances and actions of the Head Church has been recently, I am not aware that this action of the Pastor and Wife are approvoed by the Church. It will be unfair to discredit the whole church for the actions of a greedy parish pastor and his wife.

HumbledbYGrace: *smacks him across the face twice before whipping his ass*

I thought I heard the last of u,next time I will kill u

I still dey humble I swear. Where is my Bella huh ? I have been looking all over the place for her.

Hmmm, the Cabals and anti-cabals are at each other's throat again. Both sides have always been nasty and viciously vitriolic towards each other, and give as good as they get, and once it gets into full swing, no one cares whose ox gets gored, that even innocent bystanders get dragged into this battle-of-the-sexes affray, so no comment

StateOfMind:

Guitarlife, not again!! Haba..them swear for you with this woman matter??

And you saying johndoe is an inspiration to you is just unbelievable..

Guitarlyf has lost it finally.

Airpure: Nice thread debrief, this is such good advice to singles looking to get married ve sent the link to my single Sis n friends ?

On the negative comments on this thread I think what they don't like is the beginning part. That's wats derailing ur thread.

[/b]debrief08: Somehow a lot of single friends seem to like getting my point of view on issues around relationships and marriage. I don't know why, funny enough they send their friends who also send other friends and I have joked about starting to charge them.[b]

@ Airpure what is wrong with the Bolded that should cause people to derail the thread with senseless talk.

Abusing a woman, whatsoever, s not gud & shd not be encourage, but there r s no gud Pastor that wil tel u to pack out of ur home, Debrief pointed hw nice & generous her Ex was, & dis does nt show a real bad person. D fact s, some gud guys & ladies can loose at any time, & most times, d woman in an abusive marriage can nt be exonorated.There was a time my wife was always naging & we quarelled a lot, later i had 2 develop d silent approach & it worked, if i had 2 resolve 2 abuse, na diferent strory

Guitarlife: I still dey humble I swear. Where is my Bella huh ? I have been looking all over the place for her.

haven't heard from her in a while too

Efemena_xy: Debrief, a " church" that covers up evil is no church!

Name and shame them here pls!

please don't name and shame, its a common thing here in Nigeria.

Why do some people want to have it their way every time. I am against divorce, but growing up in a family where you are taught to respect people, irrespective of gender, class, or title, I find it hard to cause my fellow human being unnecessary stress.

Those who believe till-death -do- you-part of the vow, will actually be happy to receive the corpse of their daughter, sister, or female relations from a wicked & heartless husband all in the name of keeping a vow.

THE LAW WAS MADE FOR MAN, NOT MAN FOR THE LAW.

That you have a successful marriage does not make you judge over those who are less fortunate.

Abali1: Why do some people want to have it their way every time. I am against divorce, but growing up in a family where you are taught to respect people, irrespective of gender, class, or title, I find it hard to cause my fellow human being unnecessary stress.

Those who believe till-death -do- you-part of the vow, will actually be happy to receive the corpse of their daughter, sister, or female relations from a wicked & heartless husband all in the name of keeping a vow.

THE LAW WAS MADE FOR MAN, NOT MAN FOR THE LAW.

That you have a successful marriage does not make you judge over those who are less fortunate.

I'm not married. Don't even have a galfriend yet plus I read engineering, How could I possibly be a judge ?heheheheee.

Guitarlife: I'm not married. Don't even have a galfriend yet plus I read engineering, How could I possibly be a judge ?heheheheee.

I already read your previous post, so you will definitely know that am not referring to you.

And since you are not married, why do then think that there are no basis for divorce (going by your posts)?

Abali1:

I already read your previous post, so you will definitely know that am not referring to you.

And since you are not married, why do then think that there are no basis for divorce (going by your posts)?

Becos my bible tells me so . Eeeewwwwww! And that is what all married couples profess in front of the whole world and God. I don't care wether it is scriptural or traditional. You willingly took an oath so why are you selective in implementing it. Running away when the worst aspect evolves.

Guitarlife: Becos my bible tells me so . Eeeewwwwww! And that is what all married couples profess in front of the whole world and God. I don't care wether it is scriptural or traditional. You willingly took an oath so why are you selective in implementing it. Running away when the worst aspect evolves.

Are u sure u know the bible you are talking about?

Guitarlife: Becos my bible tells me so . Eeeewwwwww! And that is what all married couples profess in front of the whole world and God. I don't care wether it is scriptural or traditional. You willingly took an oath so why are you selective in implementing it. Running away when the worst aspect evolves.

Please, I will like to argue with you on the bible passages you are refering to. Just quote the passages, so that we trash it out.

So if I take a vow in front of the whole world and God, to do my part and expects that my partner will do her part. Then she wakes up one day and tries to cut my throat with a butcher knife, I should willingly give her my throat to slice.

Guy, abeg when you argue always have it in mind that if you have not been there, you can never understand what those that have been there went through.

Please quote the bible passages.

MiracleChild:

[/b]debrief08: Somehow a lot of single friends seem to like getting my point of view on issues around relationships and marriage. I don't know why, funny enough they send their friends who also send other friends and I have joked about starting to charge them.[b]

@ Airpure what is wrong with the Bolded that should cause people to derail the thread with senseless talk.

Lemme answer ur question with a question will u go to a failed business man for advice before u start up a new business? Or if u want to go into the music industry will u go to Piddy or Mase for advice. Like I said be4 the thread is great. My opinion was that the thread is been derailed cos of d lines above.

Lol @ Failed business man, what about someone who started one business failed at it, got up, rebuilt himself and is flying high in another line of business, is he or she still failed? Is it better to stay in a dying business and keep lamenting about how hard and bad life and business is instead of getting out alive and with less damage and building up from scratch?
Does one failed business means that the life of that business man has ended? Will you go to Dangote today for advice? Do you know his first business failed? What about Adenuga? His first business failed and he was a cab driver for a while before he bounced back, they picked lessons and made them better business men, while others died llamenting pursuing a failed business.

Besides its a failed business not a failed busines man, people fail in tasks all the time and rise again, it doesn't make them failed individuals, it only makes them humans, he who is failed is he who has allowed failure to define him or her, certainly not me