im twenty five years old and i have been in a relationship with my man for the three yeras and a half, we met in my final year of school, however,when i met him,he was just getting admission into the school, he had been in school before but had to leave because of some academic problems, i didnt know this at first but when i found out,it wasnt really a big deal for me, iwas determined to wait because i felt i had finally found the man i was looking for, im thru with service now and he is still in school, there are so many things against us, my dad is tribalistic and will not hear of me marrying another tribe, ma man is not my tribe, im working now and he is trying to establish his own company.things ahve been pretty rough.im not a materialistic person nut sometimes,i feel a twinge of fustration.i love this man of mine with every fiber of my being and im willing to stand up to my dad for him, he has tremendous potential or else i wouldnt be so adamant bout him, that does not mean i dont get tempted from time to time to ditch and run, am i being stupid?is it wrong for me to feel impatient once in a while?by the way,he's 31 yeras old, what do you guys think?

truth, be paitent, d best things come to those who wait. u cant c tomoro so dont make your decisions on today's issues. if d problem is his attitude i will ask u to reconsider but if he is good enough for u and there are other things bugging u(money, tribe) then u should make a mistake to leave him.

Well does this guy have the same feeling you have for him too?
Cause it would be pointless u doing all this without your man not having the same feelings.

I dont think u are being materialistic cause there are some times at a certain stage in a girl's life that she wants to date someone who is secured in certain areas of their life, i would do the same.

Girl, maybe u should give this the test of time, am sure it would fall into place.

adeboo:

Well does this guy have the same feeling you have for him too?
Cause it would be pointless u doing all this without your man not having the same feelings.

I don't think u are being materialistic cause there are some times at a certain stage in a girl's life that she wants to date someone who is secured in certain areas of their life, i would do the same.

Girl, maybe u should give this the test of time, am sure it would fall into place.

well said .
@poster,what abt your dads stand?is this guy worth your going against your dads wish?

First you should ask yourself if this guy is worth it.Is he the type that will turn his back on you the moment oppurtunity presents itself? Does he feel the same way about you?
It's not abnormal for you to feel impatient and frustrated at the same time.At 25 i was married for 2yrs with a baby,so i cannot say i have felt a bit of what you are feeling. Do you intend to wait for him till he finishes school before you guys get married?

Have you spoken to your dad and he says he'll not let you marry this guy? The final decision is yours to take,but all the same,there's no harm in waiting if you both really love yourselves.
goodluck

amsky:

First you should ask yourself if this guy is worth it.Is he the type that will turn his back on you the moment oppurtunity presents itself? Does he feel the same way about you?
It's not abnormal for you to feel impatient and frustrated at the same time.At 25 i was married for 2yrs with a baby,so i cannot say i have felt a bit of what you are feeling. Do you intend to wait for him till he finishes school before you guys get married?

Have you spoken to your dad and he says he'll not let you marry this guy? The final decision is yours to take,but all the same,there's no harm in waiting if you both really love yourselves.
goodluck

ma girl amsky has said it all!

ma man loves me, thats something ive never doubted, he would do any woman proud and he has stuck with me through thick and thin , my dad is saying its got to be my tribe or a person with a lot of money and class, ma man is worth standing up to my dad for, id rather not do it but if that is what its going to come to then i will, thank you all for your advice,i appreciate it,

In that case stay by him. There are ways to "force" parents to agree to such wedding without confronting them. But it would require sacrifice on your path.

I think trust in God is essential.

In that case stay by him. There are ways to "force" parents to agree to such wedding without confronting them. But it would require sacrifice on your path.

I think trust in God is essential.

@poster

You have a lot to deal with.  I can only say follow your mind and I hope the guy is worth all this stress you are going through.  Don't envy you at all.

You might have to wait another 5 years till this guy settles down.  I hope he does not abandon you for being too "old" at 30 years old?  I think at 31 years old he should go ahead and propose to you so you can build your future/home together.  If he shows no sign of committing, then you know he is wasting your time.  At 25 this is a perfect them for you to settle down since I am an advocate of ladies having their kids before 30. 

Please think properly and make sure this guy is on the same page as you are.  I really am not concerned about the way your father feels.  You can win him over if this guy is behind you and gives you full support.  Have a talk with him and see what plans he has for the future.  This is not "pressure" but common sense planning. Gone are the days when women sit and fold their arms waiting to be proposed to because they do not want to look like they are being "pushy".  It is your life too.

Goodluck.

just be a little more patient, you may not need to wait for another year.

good luck

Sounds like you are not willing to let go,however it seems difficult holding on,i think you guys have done really well and the only thing i will see as an issue right now is this tribe of a thing.Parents can be very funny at times .
Its worth thinking this through and see if you really haven't got any other thing against this guy and see if your dad is willing to bend.If that the case,then its worth tieing the knot.

Well has he proposed to you? I mean has he also made a formal or informal approach to your parents
Does he really feel the same way you do or are you making excuses for him perhaps b/c you are love blind
Questions for you girl.

You said he is still in school and yet you also said that he is trying to establish a company
What contrast Is he a magician or perhaps 'the Bill Gates of Africa'
Question 2

Now, I would have gone ahead to tell you to stand for whom you love and what you believe in.
However, judging or dismissing your father as tribalistic is too hasty for me and mistakes which we youths are won't to make.

Only remember Opoks! word of advice; "Wetin your father sat down and saw, if you use an elevator, you no go see am"

It is bitter but you have to weigh all the options and try to get your father's blessing in your marriage.

You no fit buy am for market. Trust me when I say that you will need it.

I'm not sure why she has to "wait 5 years".

If she's asking if she should marry him, looks like their on the precipice of that decision right now. Ultimately, you have to decide if you are willing to go forward without the immediate support of your parents. Parent's tend to be stubborn (because as we get older, we tend to get set in the ways we want things done) but they usually come around. If you can deal with this, and he can deal with this, as well as handle anything from his family's side when they see that your parent's are not initially on-board, then I'd say go for it.

I think you already know this so I'll just say that I think your decision making process is on the right track.

babes you've been with this guy for 3and a half years and he's 31 now.

let me ask you a question: when you both met did you contemplate what the future would be like?

I think you have wavering faith in your man in terms of finances. If he is hardworking, you do know that in a couple of years things will be very different.

Are you both talking about your feelings? From what you have written it doesn't look like you have. Now i dont mean nag him in any way but rather make him aware of what is going on in your head.

Your dad is not a problem at this point. You both need to iron out some issues before you approach the question of your dad because united heads are stronger. Any loving father is ultimately looking for the comfort of thier daughters. It only makes sense that he's protective towards you.

so if you both are not on the same page, . . . . . it's only safe to say that your dad will rip it apart.

Goood luck tho.