1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?

2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

maclatunji: 1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?

2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

1. yes

2. Talk about it to harsh it out.

jidegirl12:

1. yes

2. Talk about it to harsh it out.

I assume there has to be some communication in "letting you know" you have done something wrong. How good a negotiator are you especially when the other party is accusing you of doing something wrong? Do you go on the defensive and try to rationalise or do you see things from the man's perspective? Questions that your response have triggered in my mind.

@ op,
1. Yes, no controversy about that.

2. Tell me exactly how he feel about what and how i did wrong, then we trash it out, at last, say sorry to him d best way i know how to say it.

greatgod2012: @ op,
1. Yes, no controversy about that.

2. Tell me exactly how he feel about what and how i did wrong, then we trash it out, at last, say sorry to him d best way i know how to say it.

Please can you expatiate on the bolded? Is there like a "ceremony" or something?

@

1 yes i do
2 I will want him to do it lovingly and calmly when am in my best mood

1) Of course he is the Head, he wears the "trouser" in the relationship, I just tell him which "ones" to wear all the time

2) He married Mrs Right - I am always "right" so there is no room to entertain "wrong" in my dictionary

Busy_body:
1) Of course he is the Head, he wears the "trouser" in the relationship, I just tell him which "ones" to wear all the time

2) He married Mrs Right - I am always "right" so there is no room to entertain "wrong" in my dictionary

Women like you are really handfuls, the only thing there is that your man knows you've got his back and that's really cool.

chaircover: 1. yes

2. I prefer that he goes straight to the point with what I have done and not to say it in too many words which thank God he does. I hate nagging men. deep in me I usually know when ive goofed and i apologize straight away.

What I dont want is you not saying anything when I commit offence A and then when I carry out offense B, you add offense A and offense B together and complain about both offences at the same time. . . . gerrit

I get that, I don't like that too.

maclatunji:

I assume there has to be some communication in "letting you know" you have done something wrong. How good a negotiator are you especially when the other party is accusing you of doing something wrong? Do you go on the defensive and try to rationalise or do you see things from the man's perspective? Questions that your response have triggered in my mind.

Oga Mac , I am a very good listener , I live for my family and i will do anything for them.

if I do something wrong , I will know the atmosphere is thick around the house so I'll be like dude what's going on? And he says it right away and we harsh it out...

but honestly I've always been the one on the receiving end cos I'm like a meek, I watch and be careful what I say and he tries not to take advantage of that, i respect him for that and he's a good man ....that's not the case for me on NL tho

1.of course,Yes.
2.The same way he had like to be corrected,i run on oxygen too.no nagging,bossing,redherring.just straight to d point and subtly.

1. No! He made me understand that we're equal.

2. We talk to each other, correct our mistakes. Also note, we compromise a lot.

jidegirl12:

Oga Mac , I am a very good listener , I live for my family and i will do anything for them.

if I do something wrong , I will know the atmosphere is thick around the house so I'll be like dude what's going on? And he says it right away and we harsh it out...

but honestly I've always been the one on the receiving end cos I'm like a meek, I watch and be careful what I say and he tries not to take advantage of that, i respect him for that and he's a good man ....that's not the case for me on NL tho

Sweet. Your "meekness" does come across on Nairaland too.

maclatunji:

Sweet. Your "meekness" does come across on Nairaland too.

yeah I guess ....I was too perceive until I was bullied a while ago here then I started to grow some e-balls lately.... It's been helpful in my real life I must say .... I say some things and my hubby & my eldest kid just look at themselves with surprise ! She said mom what got into you lately?

My hubby says way to go baby!

Lets not derail sir

maclatunji: 1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?

2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

1.Yes
2.As long as he doesn't do it in public/in any other person's presence,or abusively,all will be well!!

slimyem:
1.Yes
2.As long as he doesn't do it in public/in any other person's presence,or abusively,all will be well!!

Your response to number 2 looks more like a threat. I am smiling here so that I don't look like a madman in the midst of other people by LOL.

1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?


ME: Yes!

2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

ME: I would like to be corrected calmly and nicely in LOVE & AFFECTION. Shouting angrily at me wouldn't solve anything; it would only worsen it because doing that would make me withdraw to my shell.

maclatunji:

Your response to number 2 looks more like a threat. I am smiling here so that I don't look like a madman in the midst of other people by LOL.

lol...
Its what i don't and won't expect/accept from my man for whatever reason or under any circumstance,otherwise.....

maclatunji: 1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?

Yes I do

maclatunji: 2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

He should tell me politely...I believe that would be the best way to go about it.

maclatunji:

Please can you expatiate on the bolded? Is there like a "ceremony" or something?

No,one thing i discover about him is dt my kneeling down to beg him after a disagreement melts his heart, and since i have discovered that, i have been using it accordingly. Once he says, honey, i dont like d way u .....blahblar......, i quickly go on my knees and start begging, he rarely allow my knee to touch d floor b4 carrying me up, d next thing is, its over, just dont do that again, and yes, its indeed over as he said it.

greatgod2012:

No,one thing i discover about him is dt my kneeling down to beg him after a disagreement melts his heart, and since i have discovered that, i have been using it accordingly. Once he says, honey, i dont like d way u .....blahblar......, i quickly go on my knees and start begging, he rarely allow my knee to touch d floor b4 carrying me up, d next thing is, its over, just dont do that again, and yes, its indeed over as he said it.

I am not a big fan of kneeling but the logic of the process is infallible. I think many of us can learn from the mutual respect you accord each other.

greatgod2012:

No,one thing i discover about him is dt my kneeling down to beg him after a disagreement melts his heart, and since i have discovered that, i have been using it accordingly. Once he says, honey, i dont like d way u .....blahblar......, i quickly go on my knees and start begging, he rarely allow my knee to touch d floor b4 carrying me up, d next thing is, its over, just dont do that again, and yes, its indeed over as he said it.

My sister... I admire your style O... that's the way I was brought up too but my hubby is like a boxed kind... and that works for me ...I'm a tall person and kneeling down would have been a work for me if I married your hubby's kind

keep up whatever melts his heart.

maclatunji: 1. Do you accept that the husband is the head/leader of the home?

2. If you do, how would you like him to correct you if he feels you have done something wrong?

1. Yes.

2. By telling me as soon as we're alone. No yelling and definitely no dissing in public (not that he's ever done that to me sha). I guess this is where maturity comes in to play.

I've learnt over the years that my gra-gra doesn't sway him one iota. If I wan rant, he lets me expel it all out to my heart's content. I've got a big, strong but calm, soft spoken man with a steely resolve.

(Sigh) what more can I say? 14 years on, and I just love that man like crazy, more and more with each passing day...(sigh)...

Talk is cheap. Whenever I upset him, my actions more than show my contriction. Texting, cooking his favourite, serious bedmatics, you name it...

B_ngene: 1 yes i do
2 I will want him to do it lovingly and calmly when am in my best mood

And when you're not in ur best mood, what will happen?

Vikin: 1. No! He made me understand that we're equal.

2. We talk to each other, correct our mistakes. Also note, we compromise a lot.

I do believe in equality in the home too but my religion seems to be a stumbling block.

Depends what you mean with "the leader of the home".
He is my husband, we stand equal on every choice regarding the household. His voice does not speak louder than me.
But, due to his culture, I never correct him or tell him he is wrong in any way in front of his family and friends. In my culture, that is ok, not in his.
So, out in the streets he is the boss, but inside the house, I have the last saying

If I am doing something "wrong"..earlier, he would keep it in and then blow up out of nothing. Lol. And I did the same.
Now we know better, and tell each other in a nice tone that "I don`t like this and this. How can we fix it?"

Works for us.

CrazyMan:
Yes I do
He should tell me politely...I believe that would be the best way to go about it.

@CrazyMan, Topic says "Questions For The Ladies"... I dunno how you fit in here bruv, or are you a she-male?

jidegirl12:

My sister... I admire your style O... that's the way I was brought up too but my hubby is like a boxed kind... and that works for me ...I'm a tall person and kneeling down would have been a work for me if I married your hubby's kind

keep up whatever melts his heart.

abi, my sister, thank u, im not also a short person, i know he really loves and care 4 me,hence, my submission to him, hes a wonderful man, even with all my inadequacies,he has never gone to bed wit grudge against me, 8 yrs, and stii counting, so, since hes playing his part well, which is "husbands, love your wife", i also have to play my part well, which is "wives, submit to your husband".........and it has been working 4 us

maclatunji:

I am not a big fan of kneeling but the logic of the process is infallible. I think many of us can learn from the mutual respect you accord each other.

thats d way i was trained and since i have discovered that it melts his heart and keep us closer&stronger, i do it genuily and it doesnt take anything away from me.

Humility is a virtue!

Busy_body:
1) Of course he is the Head, he wears the "trouser" in the relationship, I just tell him which "ones" to wear all the time

2) He married Mrs Right - I am always "right" so there is no room to entertain "wrong" in my dictionary

I bet ur still single or mayb ur husband is vry uncaring

1. Yes,I don't have any problem with that.

2. In a calm even tone,kneeling down to apologize works like magic always. Thank God he doesn't scream or wear a long face.