I dated a guy before now I like his best friend and  have slept with his best friend. I want to marry his best friend. do you think this is acceptable.  i am caribbean, he is nigerian.

No one knew I dated the first guy though so it makes it easier. I want to know if he would be proud and marry me thoughHELP

i AM 34 YEARS OLD and he is 38 this year. Will this be an acceptable age for him or would he want a younger bride?

If the new friend u want to marry is nigerian, than you won't be the one making the decision
believe me, no nigerian guy will marry a sis that has ever slept with his best friend
but if he does, then it's ur choice. . .

ok, thanks. I dont feel any better.

any more thoughts from anyone else

Not that it makes any difference to me though. Even though if your current dude knows about you dating his friend and still went ahead to date you, its his decision not yours!!
I dont think u shld feel guilty at all

what will i call you ? a red street light agent or spiner.well if you mean business go for who you cares.after all they never have anything in common as in parenting.

thanks, now I feel alot better, indeed.

You met a guy . . . , . was involved with the guy . . . . . . . Left the guy_{or maybe he left u . . . . .it don't matter} . . . . . Now you are "involved" with his best friend . . . .

I don't get it.?? Seriously, if you'all are resident in the same locality. . . .the "Best friends" WOULD always see each other every now and then right? . . . . . are you sayin' that the 1st guy doesn't know??

2. you didnt say if you guyz are dating . . . . .you just said that you slept with him . . , , and you neva mentioned him "Proposing" to you anywhere in your post. . . .

Your storyline has too many gaps dear . . .

4 honest opinions, you need to "come-out-of-the-closet" on this one.

the first guy does not know; the 2nd guy - we have sworn never to telll the first guy. I slept with the 2d guy - three times, but this is the guy i WANT to fully date and marry. Gosh they are best friends though ( 2 Nigerians Yoruba blood). I am British Black of Caribbean descent. He has not proposed or anything, I am waiting and waiting and waiting.

The 2nd guy is 38 years old, no kids; I am 34 with 2 kids.

marzipan73:

the first guy does not know; the 2nd guy - we have sworn never to telll the first guy. I slept with the 2d guy - three times, but this is the guy i WANT to fully date and marry. Gosh they are best friends though ( 2 Nigerians Yoruba blood). I am British Black of Caribbean descent. He has not proposed or anything, I am waiting and waiting and waiting.

The 2nd guy is 38 years old, no kids; I am 34 with 2 kids.

2 best friends, yorubas. Neither will touch u with a 10ft pole when it comes to marriage.
The 2nd guy is having a good time, free sex . . . he wont choose a woman, not even nigerian, over his best friend. The fact that he is not willing to let his friend know is even more proof. Perhaps both are even having a good laugh at ur expense as we speak.

Continue waiting for godot.

1. Don't be too fast . . . ok   one thing at a time.  Let him propose first_{and from what i just read . . . .seems like you guyz just started dating!!}

2. You swore?? why?? why??  . . . . .I hope you will neva use that statement in the nearest future. . . . . Place of origin, Tribe and location are completely inconsiquential

My greatest fear for you now is "I hope that they haven't shared this gist" and this second guy isn't just partaking of the "report" on your sexual excapades with the first guy??

I just wanted to say, when it involves guys, best friends, family members etc - Nigerian men would usually run a mile or maybe sleep with u first and the run away.

I dont think the guy that wants to marry u is being genuine - thats just my thought though.

[i]You are in big trouble dear, when the two friends got to know you will be the one to loose, and beside where is the father of the two kids? am asking so that your third child wont be fatherless my advise for you is to stay out of the relationship. Let love find you instead of you looking around for love and dont be too fast because we Nigerian can be desirate atimes.[/i]

thanks for being honest

but do you think that a NIgerian man will think that 34 years old woman is too old to marry

Very pitiful and shameful!
You're a big shit, a disgrace to the entire ladies of this noble group.

Faitymine:

Very pitiful and shameful!
You're a big shit, a disgrace to the entire ladies of this noble group.

hi man that HAD
she needs advice not this.

In my country 9ja things are not done this way,
my advice to u is to 4get them,
Thank God u have ur kids,
Love them and let this men go.
Mr Right will come one day.
l

I wld only add that next time, don't sleep with a man to get his commitment.
For us men, sex is sport that we want to get any time we are aroused; we are hardly emotionally attached to a lady b/c of sex.
Your biggest mistake here.

Being a 34 year old lady with babies is an added responsibility.
I bet the 2nd guy would not want to be saddled with the responsibility of taking care of another man's babies when he can have his own.

Finally most male best friends are open to each other about their sex exploits.
It doesn't mean anything to us concealing it esp when the woman in question is not our wife.
Both guys have probably discussed you while the first is merely playing silent.

VERDICT; The mistakes has been made. The 2nd guy is only your lover-boy.
Beyond that, there is no guarantee.

Make your own decision whether to stay or move on.
Good luck.