@All!
Bawomolo needs our prayers, this one one of the seed of Abraham that the devil is seriously after!
If you love this guy since everyone has showed in the thread that he is meticulously pursuing, I will crave our dedicated prayers for the redemption of his soul.Even if its just for 30secs ina day it will go a long way!
The god of this age has indeed blinded his eyes from seeing the light of the gospel.

gay Bashers fear Self !!. [/b]A man should not be intimidated by a homosexual. By that I mean, those people who set out to preach “fire and brimstone,” the beating and harassing of homosexuals and lesbians, in most cases are people that fear for a dormant personality that might come forth from themselves. If you are sure about your manhood or womanhood, then [b]you should have no fear of socializing or befriending a person with different sexual preferences than you. The very fear is a confession that if you were to socialize with a homosexual or lesbian you’re afraid you might become a homosexual or a lesbian. I don’t care whether you’re a Reverend this or Pastor that, or Imam this or Sheik that or even a Rabbi. All of these people go home to loved ones and have classified their sexual activity lawful, righteous, upright and pure. Anyone who does not follow their personal instructions sexually, is a pervert or a freak or whatever other name they can come up with. When in actuality, the strictness that the M'uslim has in sex restricts them to one position and for one reason - reproduction. However, when it comes to the Jewish population you’ll find it very strange if you do any research that they have sexual intercourse through a sheet, never looking at their partner. Then Christians accept everything in sexual activity except homosexuality and lesbianism, which all of the above call sodomy. They have given the word their meaning when in actuality the word simply means, “burning” and has nothing to do with burning people for sexual practices. Nowhere in the bible does it tell them who named the city Sodom or who it was named after. If you were to read these books, SEX AND THE BIBLE by Gerald Laure and The X-RATED BIBLE by Ben Edward Akerly,  you would be amazed at some of the things that the Prophets did in the bible. If it were today, they would be put in jail for indecent exposure or rape. Then if you read the Talmud of the Jews, you’d find that it condones sex with little boys. If you studied the history of I'slam you’d find the Prophet M'uhammad took a wife named 'Aisha, the daughter of Abu Baker. When she was only 9 years old and he consummated that marriage, which means had sex with her when she was only 11 years old and he was age 50. So if you look at the people in the religious world today, we’re talking about the Jews of the Torah, the Christians of the New Testament, and the M'uslims of the K'oran.[b] These people have skeletons in their closets. I mean skeletons the size of dinosaur bones. [/b]Yet they, the religious people set out to breed violence and segregation against a group of human beings with a different sexual preference.

Bawomolo needs our prayers, this one one of the seed of Abraham that the devil is seriously after

i don't need prayers, i need answers. why are u guys unable to explain how homosexuality is unnatural and evil. how does homosexuality harm anyone??

I will crave our dedicated prayers for the redemption of his soul.Even if its just for 30secs ina day it will go a long way!

you christians spending way too much time talking about salvation and redemption. what soul??

The god of this age has indeed blinded his eyes from seeing the light of the gospel.

i thought there was only one god, ok maybe three??

@Bawo!
My guy it is in the prayers you will find answers that will liberate your soul!

What religion do you practice sef gan naa?

Are you am antichrist cause I can see that you are more confused than what I was imagining it to be.
I thought you knew the grounds from which you were postualting your ideas but from your response I cansee that you nothing.I used small letter g-god and you are already getting confused that there are three gods!
Even in Africa small child knows there are small gods here and there.
Mr Bawo, I will stand by my earlier post, YOU SERIOUSLY NEED PRAYER,IT WAS FOR YOU HE WAS BRUISED![b]Soon Christ is going to locate u![/b]Mark my words you will com eback to testify on this forum thta God actaully met with you on this road to destrcution that you are plying.

ty4real:

@Bawo!
My guy it is in the prayers you will find answers that will liberate your soul!

Prayer for bawomol(o) ->

Lord, please open bawomolo's eyes, that he may be able to differentiate between men and women. Amen.

Prayer for bawomol(o) ->

Lord, please open bawomolo's eyes, that he may be able to differentiate between men and women. Amen.

i doubt anyone is listening to you. anyway why are u guys struggling to explain ur homophobia.

Prayer for bawomol(o) ->

Lord, please open bawomolo's eyes, that he may be able to differentiate between men and women. Amen.

Bawomolo, i my heart goes out to you, the basis of right or wrong is not impact and it is not personal standard as we all have varied and diverse levels of conscience, morality, understanding, ignorance, consideration and self-greed.

You may not accept as you have free will, you see God(not allah, buddha,harry krishna) i mean the Creator of all things the Jehovah that is God. Has given you free will, he's calling you now you know in your heart the small voice that tells you Jesus Loves you and that this is not his way. The devil is real he lies through suggestion and the manipulation of your mind and spirit and if you let him in he will hold on to you like a wild dog. The fact something feels and looks good doesn't make it right. Many are enslaved by the desire of their self , your flesh, are you so caught up in your desire that you are now a slave  to it, if so the devils got you. Please for a moment consider.
 
Homosexuality is adopted behaviour it is abnormal inclination resulting in deviant behaviour. Have no doubt God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. It is disfunctionalism to substitute created function for malfunction there is always a price to pay. Let’s keep things simple it is wrong although it may be your choice. It is not inherited but deviant suggestive transformation through negative interactions from which initial habit becomes character.

The character of a person good or bad does not justify their actions good or bad but the actions impact on the character to create it. You may be contributing to whatever society you belong to positively does not give credibility to all your actions as being right.  Your actions may center on yourself the me, myself and I, you belong to God and your chosen free-will actions do not reflect him the question is who do they reflect in otherwords who are you representing God the father or someone or something else. Who is in you ?? Who can you hear The Bible says i can have the mind of Christ because he lives in me, who is living in you?

Homosexuals are not looking for tolerance they are looking for acceptance. The acceptance they seek is agreement to their chosen adopted lifestyle. To agree is to believe it to be right. That way you will feel comfortable in this deviant lifestyle which is an insult to God.

Being deprived will eventually lead to depravity if you have starved your mind of truth you will have your mind fed with untruth and turn good to evil and evil to good. This is not condemnation its the truth not mine but the truth that saves Gods word.  

Pray tonight in sincerity and ask God to open your eyes, your heart and ears so you can hear him once again its not too late with Jesus, then you can be free to know your Father in Heaven.

@Komekn!
God Bless you real good!Could feel the burning in your soul for this seed of Abraham.

@Bawmolo!
How are you doing!

@Imhotep!
Apprecaite the fact that you ar joining me in praying for this soul!

the bible warned seriously against it.
so for Christianity, it is not acceptable.

to know more about what the bible say about it click the following link.
http://homosexualdebate./

We are all sinners. How come people that fornicate are not condemned like homosexuals? How about thieves and liars? I think and have lustful thoughts. How come a Gay is treated worse? All sinners should be treated equal. I wonder if the church discriminates against people who are Gay.

mntpaul:

We are all sinners. How come people that fornicate are not condemned like homosexuals? How about thieves and liars? I think and have lustful thoughts. How come a Gay is treated worse? All sinners should be treated equal. I wonder if the church discriminates against people who are Gay.

Indeed the Bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That is why the redemptive work of Jesus Christ is so important. It is also true that fornication, stealing and telling lies are all sins as are so many other such practices. But contrary to your opinion, these vices are preached against by the church and where it is discovered to have been commited, it is condemned and the perpetrators have to ask forgiveness of God so that they are reconciled to him once again.

The issue with homosexualism is that it seeks understanding and acceptance!!! They come up with all these fallacious arguments, chief of which is that they were born gay!!!! That is a lie from the pit of hell. To agree with that line of argument would be to accept that the fornicator, adulterer or thief was also born that way and should be accepted and tolerated by one and all.

The church speaks out against sin where it is identified. But it does not discriminate against sinners as long as they do not ride with the idea that sin is ok and acceptable. I know a few notable homosexuals that are now straight. It is possible to go straight.

I don't know why the short-sighted men are always persecuting male homosexuals when lesbians have been sleeping with each other for centuries.

@ Reptyle

I believe your are saying that that the difference between the sin of homosexuality and other sins are that in todays age the agenda of homosexuality is for it to be accepted as a non-sin when it actually is.

Well said Reptyle, I never thought about looking at it from this angle.

DO YOU WANT HELP?

There are concerned people who know what you're going through and know how to help. Many of them have been set free from homosexuality themselves and would love to help you in any way they can. If you or someone you love is struggling with homosexuality, you can receive helpful literature, counseling and possibly information about support groups in your area. Just write one of the groups listed below. We love you and pray that you will be willing to reach out for help!

Exodus International
P. O. Box 540119
Orlando, FL 32854

Exodus Europe
CP 6, CH-1239
Collex, SWITZERLAND

True Freedom Trust
P. O. Box 13
Prenton, Wirral
CH43 6BY UK

Exodus Asia Pacific
P. O. Box 1882
4064 Milton
Queensland, AUSTRALIA

Outpost, Inc.
PO Box 22429
Robbinsdale, MN 55422-0429
763-592-4700
FAX : 763-592-4701
Outpost_inc@email.msn.com

Love In Action
P.O. Box 753307
Memphis, TN 38175


Sy & Karen Rogers
c/o Steiger International
P.O. Box 1186
Northampton, MA 01060

Walking Out Of Homosexuality
By Joe Hallett




What I remember most from my childhood is a deep hunger to be loved. My father ruled our home with a tyrannical self-interest, and I was the frequent target of his bitter sarcasm. No matter how I tried to please him, nothing I ever did was good enough.

Gradually I began to look to other men for love.

For many years I would cut out pictures of men from magazines and hide them under my mattress. I would take them out at night and create whole worlds in my head. Worlds where these men would love me and care for me as my father never did. Initially there was nothing sexual in these fantasies - only a son desperately longing for the love of a father.

In the real world I had a crush on any man who was kind to me. It didn't matter whether he was a teacher, a bill collector, or a grocery store clerk - I was open and vulnerable to anyone that showed an interest in me. When I discovered sex with some neighborhood boys at the age of ten, it felt exciting and dangerous at the same time. I didn't want to say no to them because I'd never received so much attention from anyone in my life. Finally I was wanted for something, even if I felt dirty and humiliated afterwards.

But I knew it was wrong, and it wasn't just society telling me. Something deep within me immediately recognized the wrong, but being used sexually was better than being ignored. I saw myself as unlovable, ugly, and stupid - all the things my father said about me. I was bad. And the worse I felt about myself, the more I would return to sex to find that distorted sense of self-worth.

At first there was the basic need for the love of a father, but then sex became a way to fill my need for intimacy. Little by little homosexual relationships became my only way of coping with emptiness. Sex became my comfort, even though it was a false comfort. In my desperate search for male love, I unwittingly stepped into a deepening pit of lust and emotional dependency My high school years became a dark blend of fear and forbidden desire.

I was terrified. What if someone knew? What if someone found out? I felt so different from everyone else. I knew the gay jokes and the disgust that society heaped upon "them" - so I hid inside myself. I tried to be noticed for my music, my humor, or for anything other than sex. My heartfelt desire was to be acknowledged as a person, yet casual sex only deepened my suspicion that I was less than nothing.
A New Kind Of Freedom
When I finally left home to go to college, something unexpected happened. For a brief moment, I was cut free from my past. There was no one there who knew where I'd been, or what I was. My slate had been wiped clean - at least as far as other people were concerned.

Little did I know the scene was set for me to have a head-on collision with authentic Christianity. I had grown up in a "Christian" home - or so I thought. My family went to church every Sunday. I knew where God lived and what kind of people He hung out with, but I didn't know Him.

At college, some of the people I met told me God was not an all-powerful deity waiting to squish me like some kind of bug under His foot. They said Christianity wasn't a dry system of rules but a living, breathing relationship between me and the living God!

As a child I'd learned that God was distant and unreachable, yet here was a God who knew me better than I knew myself - and still loved me. If I reached out and took the gift of His love, He would cleanse me from all the sickness of my past.

I could not resist such love. I asked God into my life.
Falling Short Of The Glory Of God
Even though I had accepted Christ, I still refused to leave the homosexual lifestyle. Since I didn't know how to separate myself from it, I decided God would just have to accept me the way I was. Thus began the war between my love for God and my desire for homosexual relationships.

After two years of "living on the fence" - desiring God but also desiring men - I left college and moved to Minneapolis. It was a sort of a "Mecca" for homosexuals in the Midwest, and seemed like a safe place for me to live.

As we drove into the city for the first time, my aunt pointed out a gay bar and told me I would do well to avoid it. Unwittingly, she provided the answer to my most pressing question. I had arrived. Freedom was mine, and I threw myself into the gay world with full abandon. I belonged. I fit in.

At first I felt guilty, but gradually my conscience became quieter and duller. I convinced myself that it didn't matter how you loved, all that mattered was that you did love. Rules and regulations seemed to destroy the freedom love could bring. I continually told myself it was okay to be a homosexual.

I dove deeper and deeper into sin. I didn't realize I was drowning. Love and intimacy were elusive, but sex was available and cheap. The men were different - but the situation was the same. I was a tool to be used, not a person. I would go out in search of love, but time and time again I would return knowing that I was only desired for how well I could perform.

To the world, I was just another homosexual on the street. But God continued to keep the small flame in my heart burning.
A Second Chance
After living in Minneapolis and struggling for three years with student loans and other debts, I decided to join the army. My family thought I was crazy, but I was still on a desperate search for acceptance. I wanted to belong somewhere.

The Army sent me to a unit in Germany, and six months later I auditioned to sing with the Army Chorus in Europe. I was accepted and soon settled into my new assignment in Heidelberg.

I would like to say that I didn't continue in the gay lifestyle, but I did. Here I met a German named Claus and began my second live-in relationship. I didn't think life could get any better. I was singing before huge audiences in Europe and I was loved by a beautiful man. I had a life. I finally belonged.

But a strange thing was taking place. Even though I had the life I'd always dreamed of, I was growing increasingly restless. It was just about that time that the Lord sent an ambassador of His grace into my life. Actually, she was more like the "hound of heaven!" Her name was Debbie.

After many lengthy discussions about the Lord, Debbie began to invite me to her church. The first time, I turned her down. The following week she called again, and I made some excuse. But she continued to come to the barracks every Sunday morning. One month, two months, three months, four months went by - still she remained faithful. Finally, in the fifth month, I accepted her invitation. To be honest, I did this more out of frustration than from any real desire to go.

But her church was different from anything I'd ever known before. The people were truly friendly, and the service was alive -not so bound in ritual. That morning, an intense hunger for God awoke in me. I came away desiring to know the Lord in a new way.

So I began to go to church.
But He Is Strong
Yet I continually complained about having to give up the thing I desired most. One day before Sunday School class, I again rehearsed my complaint against God: If homosexuality was sin, then why didn't He take it away? After all, God was more than powerful enough to deal with my sin! I accused Him of not doing His part to deliver me from my struggle.

But that day the class was reading from the book of Jeremiah, and when it came my turn to read the words leapt off the page: " Why has my pain been perpetual and my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Wilt Thou indeed be to me like a deceptive stream with water that is unreliable? Therefore, thus says the Lord: 'If you return, then I will restore you - before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman." (Jer. 15:18,19)

The Spirit of God had rebuked me with my own mouth! I felt as if He had just dunked me in cold water. I was severely shaken, and began to pray in earnest that God would give me the desire to leave homosexuality behind for good.
No One Can Serve Two Masters
I knew I could no longer serve both God and my desire. Matthew 6:24 became the verse I couldn't forget: "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other, "

But I didn't know how to change! I loved men. Everything about them attracted me - how could I give them up? I was so weak. I prayed that God would just give me the desire to leave Claus. That was all I had the strength to pray.

Two months later, while sitting alone in a gay bar in Berlin, I began to reflect on my life. None of my homosexual relationships had brought me closer to my true objective: an intimate loving relationship with a man.

I confessed my sin to God that day. I admitted that I had messed up my life and my sexuality. I vowed that, if He would change me, I would follow Him. But my vow was conditional. I told God that if He didn't change me by the end of two years, I was going back into homosexuality.

That day I began to walk a new way - but at first I stumbled badly. I fell many times, but eventually I did succeed in laying my sexual behavior down. But I was still terrified of being left alone. That fear dominated my every waking moment. Who would be my friend without me somehow "paying" them?

In answer to my terrifying fear of loneliness, God immediately began to provide the love and friendship I so desperately needed. He gave me a wonderful friend, Julia. She taught me about God, and we grew together by leaps and bounds. She even helped me do really gut-wrenching things like going to my lover's house and moving all my things. God knew I could never have done that alone, so He gave me a Christian friend to strengthen me in my weakness.

After that the Lord brought godly men into my life - men who demonstrated the pure love and acceptance I so desperately needed. These men put aside their own fears about reaching out to a man struggling with homosexuality. Thank God for their courage and unconditional love!

I'm sad to say many Christians are afraid to reach out to those trying to leave the gay lifestyle. It's true many homosexuals don't know how to relate to men on a non-sexual basis - but how will they learn if no one reaches out to them with real love and friendship?

Relationships with Christian brothers have helped me to walk in the light of God, and I know that will be true for others. The need for male love lures most men into homosexuality, and only the unconditional love of God's people will help lead them out of that desperate loneliness.
One Day At A Time
Laying down sinful desires is a very long process.

Although I'd given up the outward show of homosexuality in Germany, there was much I hadn't released. I still harbored a small hope that God would someday change His mind and make homosexuality okay!

Not many of us are willing to acknowledge the fact that it may take time to change. We live in an age where we're taught to want everything, and want it now! Everyone demands instant cures and easy answers. But sometimes those answers are not instantly forthcoming.

Too many people coming out of the gay lifestyle echo the same sentiment: "If Exodus or Outpost can't 'cure' me of homosexuality in six months, then forget it!" Each time I hear that I'm reminded of the very words I spoke to God back in Berlin.

Some people think you're not really saved if you still struggle with homosexual desire, but I don't believe that's true. All Christians struggle with the temptation to sin. We need to realize that a salvation experience is not a pre-frontal lobotomy or a substitute for exercising personal discipline. God does bring change, but not always instantaneously. And contrary to some popular belief, godly change does not always come about without pain or struggle.
A Tree Of Righteousness
A growing percentage of Christians, and even many unbelievers, think that believing in Christ should put an end to our struggle with sin.

But that is a lie.

God is interested in something much more important than our comfort - He is intent upon developing His eternal character within us. And He uses our daily struggles with the flesh to shape and define that character. God can and does use struggle and conflict to bring forth His glory in us.

As A. H. Strong once wrote:

"A student asked the president of his school whether he could take a shorter course than the one prescribed.

"Oh yes," replied the president. "But then it depends on what you want to be. When God wants to make an oak, He takes a hundred years. But when He wants to make a squash, He takes six months."

I hope you want to be an oak.
Seeking God For Comfort
Although my sexual liaisons with men ended seven years ago, I am still imperfect.

When I give in to despair or refuse to seek God for comfort, then I find myself most vulnerable to my old romantic dreams. My fleshly desires still continue to war against my desire for the peace and righteousness of God.

Most of us want to be able to switch off our sinful natures like we switch off a light bulb - but I don't think that's a very realistic attitude towards salvation. My desperate need for God's strength keeps me incredibly close to Him. Like a child on a busy city street, I know that if I let go of His hand - even for a moment - I'll get hit by a bus.

I am still a sinner who struggles with his flesh, but I'm being changed daily. I used to think Christianity was just God's scoreboard for keeping track of all my sins. But now that I've walked with the Lord for several years, I know that Christianity simply means total dependence on the love and forgiving mercy of my Father in heaven.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they will not over flow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior." (Is. 43:1-3)
For Your Light Has Come
God's love is reaching out to each one of us through the brokenness of our hearts and lives. But the question is: Will we trust Him even when it hurts? In Jesus, I have found Someone that I can give my whole self to - body, soul, and spirit. In Him I have placed my trust. So now I can say of all men I am the most fortunate, because I know where my hope lies: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

"Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him." (Rom. 4:7,
DO YOU WANT HELP?
There are concerned people who know what you're going through and know how to help. Many of them have been set free from homosexuality themselves and would love to help you in any way they can. If you or someone you love is struggling with homosexuality, you can receive helpful literature, counseling and possibly information about support groups in your area. Just write one of the groups listed below. We love you and pray that you will be willing to reach out for help!

Exodus International
P. O. Box 540119
Orlando, FL 32854

Exodus Europe
CP 6, CH-1239
Collex, SWITZERLAND

True Freedom Trust
P. O. Box 13
Prenton, Wirral
CH43 6BY UK

Exodus Asia Pacific
P. O. Box 1882
4064 Milton
Queensland, AUSTRALIA

Outpost, Inc.
PO Box 22429
Robbinsdale, MN 55422-0429
763-592-4700
FAX : 763-592-4701
Outpost_inc@email.msn.com

Love In Action
P.O. Box 753307
Memphis, TN 38175

Sy & Karen Rogers
c/o Steiger International
P.O. Box 1186
Northampton, MA 01060


©Last Days Ministries
825 College Blvd.
Suite 102, #333
Oceanside, CA 92057
Phone: 1-800-228-9536
Toll free Fax (U.S. only): 1-877-228-9536
Fax for International: 1-760-806-3673

A. Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Gen.38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

Crazies, Dumb and Dumber!

I suppose you all banish women from your houses that are on their periods? Wow

how many of you have ever met a gay or lesbian person. there is a certain amount of distance needed before this level of condemnation and horror can be heaped upon a group of people. many gay people i know do not have sex, so i wonder how much of this applies to them. there are always shades of grey, but i guess that's why i don't mess with religion.

Dear Nairalanders,

Lets me contribute my two cents to this discussion. I hope you guys keep an open mind and respond politely if you wish. The issue of homosexuality is a complex yet it is not supposed to be so complex. Like they say, you cannot understand another man's situation if you have not walked in his shoes. And if you are heterosexual, you can never understand the struggles and experiences of a homosexual person. I just hope that you will try to put yourself in those shoes for a minute while you read this. The most important thing I want you to do is to keep an open mind and not equate homosexuality with just a sexual act. Afterall, when you think of heterosexuality, you dont think of sex. You think feelings, love, the need for human companionship and maybe sex down the line. But sex is not the building block. In the same vein, a 15 year -old boy may discover that he only has same sex feelings but he never actually engages in same sex activity all his life as he enters the priesthood. That doesnt make him any less gay. He was gay at 15 and he will be gay all his life. that he never engages in the a sexual act doesnt change who you are attracted to. Or do you think priests and reverend sisters and 12 year old kids are asexual? Ofcourse not. You may not be engaged in sex, but it doesnt mean you do not have a sexual orientation. Its either gay or straight. So please lets disentangle this discourse from sexual intercourse. Its about who you are drawn to emotionally, physically and spiritually.

First and foremost, I believe the cardinal bone of contention here is that most people find it had to believe that people are born gay. The real question is, Are people born heterosexual? If you believe that you were born heterosexual then do you think it is possible that some people were born gay? I want to assume that if you are straight that there was never a point in your life when you were attracted to both males and females; after which you then decided to choose the opposite sex. Did you ever get to make that conscious choice? I doubt it. Then why do you think that a gay person was given that choice by God? Why would anybody ever choose to be attracted to the same sex when he knows the price that he will pay in society? The risks are numerous- your family will disown you in a heartbeat, all your friends will abandon you and any hope for a real fulfilling future is gone; all because for no reason, you hit puberty and you discover that you are different.

If you are straight, you may not understand this. But I assume that if you are a guy that around the age of 11-12, you started becoming interested in girls. That is normal at puberty. Imagine if at that age you find yourself with no attraction whatsoever to the opposite sex, but only to your own sex. That is the reality of a gay person. You try to fight it. You try to go to all the church deliverances and say all the prayers and promise God everything if only he will just take it away- If only he will just make you normal. Believe me, that is the only prayer of gay people. You try hard to keep the secret and you also are afraid that if anybody finds out the secret, that you may be mobbed in a heartbeat. It is hard enough for a heterosexual teenage boy to stay focused in school and stuff because hormones are raging and you want to chyke guys and all. Imagine how much harder it is for gay people when you know that what you have is what Oscar Wilde called 'the love that dare not speak its name'. You can't tell anyone about it. You just live with your secret into your twenties. Some are bold enough to carry on with secret relationships with their peers just like their heterosexual mates are doing. Others torture themselves everyday because they cannot reconcile what they feel inside with what their religion and society has told them that they should feel. Its no wonder that the rates of teenage depression, suicide and all is so high. In the US, teenage suicide among gay teens is 7 times what it is in heterosexual teens- This means that for every 100 suicides among teenagers, more than 80 of these will be gay teens - usually those struggling to come to terms with their sexuality or experiencing rejection or discrimination from their friends and families. Do you think 14, 15 year old teenagers will want to kill themselves over something they could change? Think again. Do you know the kind of emotional turmoil that a gay person must be in to think that the best solution is to take your life and just escape this earth and its hardship? I'm sure you cant begin to imagine this. But like I said, try and walk in the homosexuals shoes for a minute because unless you can do this you will never understand his life experiences.

But then, you are a human being- with hormones and real feelings. Just like a 15 or 16 year old boy would see a girl in his class and like to 'toast' her, there also gay people who are surrounded by people that they are attracted to- but who they dont want to be attracted to. Its simple biology. Every human being has the capacity to love and be loved. But people do not control the sex they are attracted to. If you are straight and think it is a choice, I bet that If I offer you a billion dollars to turn gay, that you will not be able to. And by turning gay i mean that you will be genuinely attracted emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and then physically to someone of your same sex. Believe me, you cannot do it. Why? Because you were not born that way. It is the same way for people who are gay. They have tried and tried and begged God and done everything but it doesnt go away. Most importantly, most gay people do not have the natural attraction to the opposite sex - so what should they do? They just cannot connect emotionally, spiritually and physically to the opposite sex as they can to their own sex. Its plain and simple. It would be easier for some if they had a natural capacity to like both sexes- truly Bisexual people have that capacity and so they can swing both ways naturally. But for most gay people, they are forced by societal and religious pressure to go into heterosexual relationships that they are not naturaly equipped to go into.

In Nigeria, we dont even acknowledge the existence of homosexuality and so I'm sure that we may have no statistics on the magnitude of this issue. If we are to go by what the researchers say, 2-5 % of every population is gay. Every population means every population and not just Western population like we want to believe. In other accounts, this proportion is closer to 10%. This will mean that close to 15 million Nigerian are most likely gay. Gay people seem to be non-existent because in truth, heterosexuals are about 80-90% of people and they will always be the majority. Its just the way nature works. As the most populous black nation on earth, it also means that we have the highest concentration of black gay people on this earth. I am not saying this to alarm you, but it is just a reality of life and nature that will shock you probably because you may think that you dont know too many gay people personally. But then, who in his right sense will tell another person in Nigeria that he is gay. People just carry on with their secret affairs and pretend that everything is ok. We are a nation that is notorious for hidding things under the basket.

Most gay people go ahead and get married. For most of them, they may like and even learn to LOVE their spouses, but they will never be IN LOVE with their spouses because they can never connect on that level with them. And I believe that every one deserves to be with someone that is truly IN LOVE with them and not someone that is using them as a cover for the busy-body Nigerian society that will begin to wonder why this middle-aged Nigerian man is not married. If you are woman, you want a man that loves you completely and you will be utterly heartbroken to find out that your husband is gay and is having affairs with men outside. Yes, with men. A married gay man will not have affairs with women, it is with men- because it is men that he is truly attracted to and their is nothing that his 'poor' wife can do to change his biology or to give him emotional and yes- sexual, satisfaction. And believe me sexual satisfaction is a big part of every relationship- gay or straight. Most importantly, his poor wife will not be genuinely loved and may not have a fulfilling sex life because the man is not genuinely attracted to her. So we have an innocent woman who is trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who may contract an STD anytime if he is not careful. This is what they call the 'Down low syndrome' among African American communities- gay men who are forced to live straight live and have wives and girlfriends. Believe me, this scenario I just recounted is living and thriving in our own Naija as it is in all parts of the world. In more open cities like Lagos, there is a thriving gay prostitution scene where 'respectable' men go to satisfy their passions. Some men, enter into long term relationships with their 'buddies' while still keeping their wives. Secrets, Secrets and Lies everywhere. I'll use the handedness analogy for this issue because it is very appropriate. About 10% of people are born left-handed while 90% are born right-handed. Its an in-born thing which in times past was seen as an abomination. There were times when left-handed people were persecuted and killed (you can do your research on this). In Nigeria now, left-handed kids still have it tough. Most parents try to change their kids and most parent succeed in making them learn to use their right hands. Still, those kids never truly lose the function of their left hands. They just learn to become ambidextrous and they learn to write and eat and take stuff from their elders with their right hands. But after all said and done, they are all still most comfortable with the left and always resort to it when no one is looking or when they are all grown up. For a small percentage, they will never learn to use their right hands and they are the ones whom their parents will always flog. Still, they never are able to learn it. Its just their nature. It is that way with gay people. You may force yourself out of societal pressure to be with the opposite sex but you never truly loose your attraction for your own sex. Most times, this leads to cheating in marriages. For the small percentage of gay men and women who cannot even fake an attaction to the opposite sex, there are like the perpetual left-handers- unable to conform to society's expectation, not out of their own stubbornness but because of how God created them

Who do we blame for this kind of double life? It is easy to blame the gay man or woman, but then we should ask ourselves- what role do we play in cultivating this kind of double life? Isnt society to blame for being so hostile to the idea of homosexuality that people are forced to live in the closet and deny an essential part of themselves? I'll tell you this, if you know anybody that is openly gay in Nigeria and has chosen not to marry but to be honest with themselves, you should go up to them and give them a handshake. Because they have defied all the pressure from religion and society to do the honorable thing and live life with dignity instead of deceiving an innocent person into marriage. They are the ones that have chosen to obey their consciences and be honest. Most importantly, for that gay married person, can you imagine how unhappy his life is. Knowing that you have to lie everyday and that you cannot truly be yourself or be with someone you may truly love because of society. Its a hopeless situation and thing can only begin to get better when people realise that the gay person cannot change to a heterosexual anymore than the heterosexual can turn gay. People are just made that way by God for his own reasons and it does not go away anymore than a heterosexual person suddenly stops being heterosexual. Once we learn this truth, we can begin to accept people for what they are and then they may feel comfortable living honest lives. But we cannot expect people to acknowledge their homosexuality when we as a society will want to treat them as second class citizens.

As a gay Christians will tell you, they have made peace with themselves and they know that God loves them the way they are. They do not consider a same-sex loving couple in a monogamous relationship to be a sin and I dont either. By this relationship, I mean 2 people of the same sex who are comlpletely devoted to each other and have chosen to build a life together. In some countries in the West and even in South Africa, they are legally married and some of them have biological or adopted kids and are as normal as every family. The only difference is that both partners are of the same sex. And please get your head out of the gutter and dont think about what they do in bed or how they do it in bed because it is not anybody's business what happens in the confines on one's bed chambers. This may seem silly to some of you but I ask you to read on. First and foremost, I want you to use you brain because God gave it to to you for a reason - to think independently and make up your mind on issues. Ignore whatever you have been told that the Bible said and look for God's answers on your own. Now, there is a school of thought that says that Biblical interpretation should be taken literally- that is, just exactly the way it is written in the Bible, while there is a second school of thought that says that you should look at everything said in the Bible in the context of the times in which it was written. i belong to the second school of thought.

Let me begin by saying that we all know that people say that the Bible is the 'word' of God. I agree that the Bible was inspired by God; but it was not written by God. It was written by inspired men who wrote in their own 'words' and not God's exact 'words'. This men wrote within their own socio-cultural context and this is abundant when we consider the things in the bible that we ignore today because it doesnt make sense in our time. The literalist will always throw the passages in Leviticus that say that a man must not lie with another man because it is an abomination. However, the literalist also tries to forget verses in that same Leviticus that say that if a woman is not a virgin on her wedding night, that she should be taken back to her father's house and stoned to death; and that a disobedient child should also be stoned to death. This same Leviticus said that it was an abomination to mix two types of fabrics together. It also calls it an abomination to eat shellfish. And the list goes on and on, It called all these things an abomination. Yet today, we all eat shellfish, we all wear ankara and brocade in the same cloth and we all eat shellfish. Most girls are not virgins when they get married and their husbands do not return then to their fathers and stone them to death. Why then do we persist in
hurling these passages at gay people. These portions of the bible make it clear that the people that wrote it did so in line with their own cultural practices thousands of years ago. In this age and time, some of those passage will be seen as sexist and child abuse.

Now, we know that the Bible was not written in English. Infact the Bible as we know it was not compiled in its original language until hundreds of years after the death of Christ when the Church decided to put together a Holy Book based on religious writings. Of course by then there were so any writings. These writing were mostly stories handed down by word of mouth and passages by the early Christians to successive generations. By around 400 years after the death of Christ when the Vulgate bible was compiled, there were a lot of books written and it was up to a select committee of men to choose and decide which books will make it into what we now know as the Bible. Out of thousands of books, they choose the 66 books that we now know as the Bible. Or do you think that it was only Matthew, Mark, luke and John that told stories about Jesus and had it written into books? There were many other Gospels. There is the Gospel of Thomas, Gospel of Barnabas,Gospel of Truth, Gospel of Peter, Gospel of Mary and the list goes on. Why werent these ones selected? The point I am trying to make is that the assembling of the Bible as we know it was done by human beings like you and me with their own guiding philosophies and interests and so it makes no sense when someone assumes a literalist stance and says that the Bible provides the answer to everything that is God's will.

Now we know that the bible is full of passages that make it clear that the place of a woman in society is akin to that of a man's property. She is to be seen and not to be heard. A man could marry plenty wives in the Bible and nothing was wrong with that- Moses was married to Sarah and still sired a child through her maid, Solomon had hundreds of wives. This was normal in their time, but in this age and time, we do not subscribe to those beliefs because we whether we like it or not, we agree that the bible is context specific and that those things that were acceptable in that culture do not apply now. Just look at the high rate of divorces everywhere and you will agree that we are not following the bible to the letter. Now it stands to reason that if women were invited to the table when the final 66 books of the Bible were being out together, that there will have been some protest against some books that expressly permit discrimination against women. For example, we have a place in the new testament that says that women should not speak in a place of worship and should instead sit and listen. Up till date, some churches still use that to ban the adoption of women into the clergy. But tell me, do you think that a woman who is spirit-filled is any less an instrument of God than a man? There are numerous instance where the Bible has been used to denigrate a particular group- whether women, slaves or homosexuals. But i bet that if people fro any of these groups were present during the final compilation of the Bible, that the parts of the Bible that harm them will not have made it into the final draft. My point- the Bible is a book inspired by God but written by man and put together by man to reflect his peculiar leaning. My point- Learn to look at things for yourself and question a bit- Because as someone said, it is only by questioning your faith that you van find a deeper faith.


We know from the translation of the Bible over two thousand years that it has been through many languages. The original languages in which it was first transcribed are mostly non-existent now. And we also know that the 'homosexuality' did not appear in the English bible until about 1949. Before then, most translations referred to some of the verses as male prostitution and co. It is no surprise that homosexuality as we know it today- a loving relationship between people of the same sex, was not written of in the bible because the Biblical writers did not have any concept of sexuality or same-gender loving relationships like we have today. How can the bible then condemn homosexuality when the word didnt make it way in there until about 2,000 years later. it is in the same way that we dont expect the Bible to give us answers to issues like Nuclear energy or assisted reproduction techniques or Information technology because in the biblical times, they had no concept of this.

To be sure, the bible condemned male prostitution- just as it did for female prostitution. And it is this word that many biblical scholars feel have been mutated over time to no become homosexuality in the bible. But then, how does male prostitution equate with a present-day same gender-loving relationship like we know it to be today where you have partners that are committed to themselves physically and emotionally just as heterosexuals are?

And to be sue too, Paul condemns people who have given up their 'natural' desires to pursue the same sex. The only thing is that for the homosexual, what is 'natural' is attraction to the same sex. Being with an opposite sex partner to the gay person is as unnatural as forcing a heterosexual to sleep with someone of the same sex. The level of revulsion is the same. The only difference is that society forces the homosexual to effectively 'rape' himself/herself, go against his nature and do it. It is not a surprise that Paul felt that people were giving up their natural desires. Afterall, the concept of sexuality as we know it today was not their in his time. And so I'm sure that he assumed that it was only the kind of desires he had that were the 'natural' ones. In that way, he is no different than you the reader or most heterosexuals who always wonder what the f*** is wrong with gay people? Why would they give up what you have and that which you assume is natural to most people- heterosexuality, to pursue homosexuality? The answer boils down to what I have said earlier- if you have not lived in a gay person's body and gone through what he has gone through- the hormones, the exclusive same-sex feelings, the utter absence of opposite-sex attraction throughout life, then who are you to tell him that his feelings are not 'natural'? It is just like telling a left-handed child that his 'bad' habit is not natural and that he should stop it. This a very telling analogy because almost all gay people who speak truthfully say that they have always known that they were different. Some know as early as 7-8 years in life. They might not have the word for it at that age and they certainly are not engaging in any sexual activity at that age, but they do know that the way they feel about people of their own sex is not quite 'normal'. So to base the condemnation of homosexuality on what St. Paul has said would be not to use our God-given intelligence to think for ourselves. if God created some people homosexual, then how can we say that their desires are unnatural?

Some people try to say that homosexuality is mostly environmental and that people who may have been abused sexually or had absent parental figures are the ones at risk. This is utter garbage. Did you become heterosexual because you were abused by an opposite sex uncle or aunt? Did the environment really have anything to do with your sexuality or did you just hit puberty and found it there? Afterall, almost every homosexual was raised in an home by a mother and a father and if environmental influences are the strongest, then the child should have learnt from his parent's example and also become heterosexual. Infact, I dont believe there is any gay family in Nigeria, why then do we still have homosexuals in our society? This brings me to the issue of the arguement against gay parenting. People say that if homosexuality and hay marriage and parenting becomes allowed, that children will be turned gay in those families. How so? Parents have no influence on the sexual orientation of their children and gay parents are not any more likely to raise gay kids than straight parents. Afterall, most of the gay parents were raised by straight parents and they still turned out gay! Go figure!

The most common Biblical portion used against homosexuality is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The popular assumption is that the city was destroyed solely because of homosexuality. This cannot be further away from the truth. God saw the iniquities of Sodom- their greed, lust, wickedness and all. Sodom was a very rich city but they had given themselves unto wickedness. Because of their wealth and wickedness, there were notoriously territorial and did not let people into their city lest they try to tap into the source of their wealth. God saw all this and wanted to destroy them but he instead decided to send his angels to see for themselves. Keep in mind that ab initio, God wanted to destroy them- which was why he told Abraham later in the Bible that if he had seen even just ten righteous men in all the city of Sodom, that he would have spared the city. Back to the story. So the angels were welcomed to Lots house but as soon as the men of the city heard that they had visitors in the city, they demanded that they be brought out to them. It was there in-hospitality and wickedness that made them demand that the angels be brought out to them so that they could 'know' them. This means to forcibly rape them. S we have a mob of maybe hundreds of men who men who want to gang rape three angels. Why? It wasn't because of homosexuality as we know it today - a loving relationship between two men. It was because of their inhospitality and their greed -to protect their city's wealth, that they would not let strangers into their city. It was because of this that they wanted to humiliate the strangers by forcibly gang raping them- to teach them a lesson so that they dare not come back. Afterall, what is more humiliating than gang-raping a man. It was sure to serve as a deterrent to future visitors who may want to come there for their wealth. Lot pleaded with them and even offered up his own daughters but they refused. They wanted the men(angels) in Lot's house. Now tell me, do you think that the gang of men were so sex-crazed that they just all wanted to 'make love' to these three men out of all the men and women in that city at the same time? Definitely not. They wanted to RAPE them. That was their sin. That was the sin of Sodom in that instance- Rape, Humiliation, Inhospitality. Added to this, is their wickedness and other sins that made God send down his angels to come and survey things for themselves first hand. These were all the sins of Sodom and that is why the city was destroyed. Not because of Homosexuality. or do you think that if instead of the gang of men requesting for the male angels, but requesting for females instead that the city would be spared? No. The city would still have been destroyed even if it was women that wanted to rape. So please, lets open our minds to the real truth why Sodom was destroyed and not equate it with homosexuality- which is simply two people who are attracted to each other, fall in love and just want happily ever after like every heterosexual wants.

I know that some of you have looked at the story of Sodom in this way before because you haven't taken the time to do your own studies and research. Or because you have always been told by your pastor and everyone around you that Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed for homosexuality. Well think again! People have always distorted their interpretation of the bible for their own selfish means. Afterall, the bible was used over the years to subjugate women and treat them like second class citizens. And yes they are biblical passages that support this treatment, but does that make it right? Is a woman any less than a man because of an accident of birth? And to believe that up till the 1920's that women did not have the right to vote in the US or in many other countries and couldn't own property. Even in Nigeria today, women cannot own property in some places if their husbands die. And believe me, the bible was used over the years to support this kind of treatment. It is no different for homosexuals. The Bible has been used by people to condemn them- people who dont understand their unique struggles. the Bible has always been used to condemn the minority and the weaker groups.

It was this same Bible that was used to justify slavery by the White man over more than 200 years. And yes there are passages which clearly support slavery. This continued until the 1960's in the US when the Black man got the right to vote. This continued until the 1990's in South Africa when Apartheid was abolished. The bible was used to support the inferiority of the Black race and that was why this all happened. The bible was also used to prevent Interracial marriages between blacks and whites in the US up till the 1970s because an inferior and a superior race are not supposed to mix. Dear Nairalander, so much iniquity has been committed against minority and oppressed groups in the name of the bible, yet today, we ignore those parts of the bible because event though they might applied in the old times, they dont apply in our time.

It is amazing how our Lord Jesus never said a word regarding homosexuality. All he preached all his life was love. Love your God and Love your neighbour. No condemnation. No judgements. Just do the right thing and be true to your conscience. And believe me, there is nothing more damning to the conscience of a homosexual as faking love and attraction to the opposite sex so that he can get married and escape societies expectations and all. It is damning to his soul because deep down, he knows that he is not only sinning against his conscience and God, he is also sinning against the innocent partner that has been brought into the marriage or relationship. The homosexual harbours his secret and it slowly eats him up. The quality of his relationship with his spouse can never be perfect because there is a secret there- the foundation of the relationship is built on lies. This makes it easier to tell more lies and keep more secrets in the marriage. In truth, closeted gay people (like most Nigerians) have not true friends. They are there own best friends and the keeper of the secrets. Afterall, how can you say you have a friend when you are not even able to talk with that friend about your true crush? Or share details about your true feelings? Friendships are formed by sharing and the closeted homosexual has learnt through life to shut himself off and just keep his struggles buried deep. The closet is a place of great sorrow- for the person . It is also a terrible thing because of the collateral damage that follows it.

My write-up has become too lengthy and if you are still reading up to this point, then you must be a strong 'pesin'. All I hope I have accomplished is to make you see things from a different lens - the lens of a christian who is questioning and seeking a deeper faith on this issue; the lens of a concerned person who may not be homosexual but can for a second put himself in those shoes. There will always be those 10% of people in every society that are gay - this has been so since the creation of man and it will continue to be so. The same way that there is homosexuality in a certain percentage of animals too. It is as natural as heterosexuality. Its just part of God's variety- the same way left-handed people are. The question is what do as a society do with and for them? Do we acknowledge them and make it easier for them to lead honest and productive lives or are we going to discriminate and make them go further in the closet and deny their true selves? - That is the question.

Thank you for reading and I hope you take out time to think things through for yourself and discover your own truth. Why? Because you dont know who amongst you is gay- It may be your closest brother; it may be that your female friend that is always kind to you; it may be your Father who even cheated on your mother once early in the marriage before you were born; it may be that 40-something year old handsome lawyer that you always see drive past in his Jeep and you wonder why he is still single; it may be your husband who is usually sexually and emotionally aloof and likes to spend time with his best buddy instead. Most importantly - it could be your child. He may still be be a baby now but he already has a sexuality and in 10 to 15 years, he will become aware of it. It could be anybody- 'e no dey show for face'. Gay people come in all shapes and sizes, fro the the most macho to the effeminate; from the most educated and responsible to the lowlife - there are no stereotypes. So please drop all your misconceptions and think of these people as human beings- deserving of your Christian love, understanding and acceptance; just the way they are.

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Oloshi, have you ever caught a baby engage in homosexuality? if yes then a baby is born with such a behaviour if no, of which the answer is no then no child is ever born to become a homosexual, no amount of your lame excuse can make it acceptable, for the mere fact that homosexuality involves a lot of filth, then on scientific grounds it is definitely not acceptable. it is easy for some one to commit a crime and claim he was made to do it by some forces beyond his control, but that does not make it right all the long tale makes no difference. If God destroyed sodom and gomorrha, then gays should watch their back, God will not accept such perversities. , But emphatically God condems Homosexuality explicitly in the Qur'an.

vedaxcool:

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Oloshi, have you ever caught a baby engage in homosexuality? if yes then a baby is born with such a behaviour if no, of which the answer is no then no child is ever born to become a homosexual, no amount of your lame excuse can make it acceptable, for the mere fact that homosexuality involves a lot of filth, then on scientific grounds it is definitely not acceptable. it is easy for some one to commit a crime and claim he was made to do it by some forces beyond his control, but that does not make it right all the long tale makes no difference. If God destroyed sodom and gomorrha, then gays should watch their back, God will not accept such perversities.  , But emphatically God condems Homosexuality explicitly in the Qur'an.

So along that same line of logic no child is ever born to become heterosexual either?!? Unless of course you have observed children engaging in "heterosexuality". I do not know about you, but liking women has never been an option for me. I just did. It is not impossible to imagine that for some people this is not always the case. Furthermore, the quran is documents countless instances where this same  being called God, mercilessly supporting cruelty, murder, genocide, and hate so it is hard to take such an opinion seriously. Not to mention the whole Aisha and Muhammad thing. You might as well be saying Joseph Stalin and Hitler were against homosexuality.