bunmioguns: I no fit laff oooo....u r truly the Jokes Professor

Homar: And you were denied jokes section poster of the year . What a shame .

larride: Bin, you too much

bin gbagbo:

PART 1
I stayed in the same house with Akpors.
Akpors lived in the room next to mine and we had the same landlady, mama erimma.
Akpors and i were great friends, but what i disliked about him was his stingy nature.
It was evening and Akpors had prepared fried-rice with chicken.
Because i was around, Akpors wouldnt eat it.
I stayed on the compound till 11pm, but Akpors still wouldnt eat so i would beg for some.
When it was 12 midnight, i went to sleep with extreme hunger and disappointments . .
The moment i got in and locked my door, Akpors began eating his rice. . .

PART 2
When i smelled the aroma, i came out of my room under the guise to come and pass water, but Akpors covered his food hurriedly and began whistling.
I went in again to sleep.
It was 12 midnight, and i couldnt bear the hunger anymore, so i picked a machette and left my room.
I found myself in Baba Alhaji's backyard garden.
I saw one mature plantain so i fell it.
Harvested it and carried it towards home.
Soon i saw some well built men led by Baba Alhaji himself numbering about 16, chasing me and chanting thief oo!!, thief ooo!!!!, thief oooooooooo!!!!.
I was faster than them so got home before them.
I got home and saw Akpors asleep on a bench.
Without him noticing, i dropped the plantain by his side and rushed into my room to sleep. .. .


PART 3
Just as i entered my room, i heard my followers enter the house.
i heard them scream "there he lies, thief!!"
Akpors was in trouble grin
I could hear and feel the punches, blows and lashes they were administering to Akpors right from my room.
Akpors was weeping, wailing, and crying.
i constantly heard him cry "wetin i do?.. ..wetin i do?"
for my mind i was whispering "you do ya papa!!" grin
It was now 4:30 am and they were still beating Akpors . . ..

part 4
Soon it was morning so i checked my clock and it was 7am.
i stormed out of my room and the compound was quiet.
Akpors' door was locked.
i went to chek, pushed it and was opened.
Akpors was lying on the bare floor nakked with bruises all over his face.
i must confess i wept. He had really been beaten.
I carried him straight to the native doctor.
The native doctor said he could not heal him, so i must take him to the hospital, but money too no dey.
i carried him back to the house and he was wailing in pain, i was laughing then.
then he fainted in my arms


part 5

weeks later and akpors had fully recovered.
I was in the house one day when Akpors brought home a refrigerator.
we were overjoyed as nobody in the village owned a fridge.
Everybody came to akpors to put their drinks and other items into the fridge.
Sometimes we woke up to see a queue on our compound waiting to get their drinks in uncle akpors' referigerator.
As the facilitator, i sometimes aided some of the fine girls skip the queue by "scoring" them.
I always did the fine selection and gave the bad ones to baba AKpors.
This went on for days till we woke up oneday to see Baba Abdulai in the queue.
We were shocked, as Baba Abdulai was the most wicked man in the village.
He had a male goat and would visit any man who had his female goat deliver to collect the kids who resembled his goat, claiming that his male goat was the father
He had a long beard and mustache that fully covered his upper lip.
He mostly wore extra large trousers to hide his huge groin as a result of hernia.
It finally got to Baba Abdulai's turn and he handed his drink which was in a gourd to Akpors.
"This is fresh palmine, please freeze am for me " he said and left.
Akpors smiled and went to keep baba Abdulai's palmwine in the fridge.

PART 6

In the afternoon, i looked from left to right,
nobody was watching, so i sneaked to Akpors' room, opened the fridge, grabbed baba abdulai's palmwine and gulped down several liters my throat angrily.
i had drunk about half.
i later topped it up with water and left.
In the evening, baba abdulai came for his palmwine and left.
Early next morning, Baba abdulai was first in the queue with his palmwine.
i took it this time.
He added that " the taste was different yesterday, please keep it well for me "
i took it, nodded and assured him "i will ogah"
In the afternoon, i sneaked into AKpors' room and repeated my action
I did this on four days in a row.

part 7
It was early morning and as usual Baba Abdulai was first in the queue.
This time he had a frown on his face.
"Has he found it out?" i guessed
All the same, i saw Akpors go for Baba ABdulai's gourd and kept in the fridge.
At exactly 12:30 in the afternoon, i sneaked into Akpors' room and went for the gourd.
I removed the cover and gulped it down.
" pppppppppwaa!!!"
i spat out the drink.
The taste was different.
And the smell was terrible.
Houseflies quickly engulfed the room.
Akpors entered the room and asked what was happening.
i told him nothing only i tried bABa abdulai's palmwine and it was so sweet.
"mek i try " akpors requested
i quickly gave it to him and he began drinking .
After 2 minutes Akpors spat out violently "pppppwwwwwwaahh!!" and screamed "BIN TODAY WE DON DRINK SHITTZ OOOOOO!!!!"

we vommited the whole day

watch out for part 8

zwalnanmak: D story too long jor!