I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Nobody: 1:00pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Nigerian Parents can be too critical and spiritual, instead of pratically facing this issue they will turn it to prayer point and start screaming deliverance. I have faced depression what helped me overcome it waas constant love aand reassurance from my Dad that kept me going. I am happy you read it, please assure her she is pretty, our girls and even as women always have weight issues, it is really hard especially with the media. As for your parents tell them to try to be nicer she is at a critical age, her friend can onlly weigh influence on her when she thinks her family doesn't love her or care. Make time and create activities, buy a ludo board and have good old fun, try not to take her cloth shopping till she looses the weight trying on clothes which don't fit will only add to the depression. If she stays with you then stuck up on fruits and vegetables as against biscuits, soft drinks and chocolates. Thank You for being a good brother. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by ferhyntorlah(f): 1:01pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Aafulenu: another point is that she might just be ranting Whether the diary contents are rants or not, she needs help to get out of the depression she is in. She is already exhibiting the signs: For the past 4months my sister has changed and been acting |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by ferhyntorlah(f): 1:04pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
tellwisdom: Bro, does she have a sexy yansh??... Derailer!!! |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by dammytosh: 1:09pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Dear Ops, I wish i could read everybody's comment before posting this. In case it is just a repition of what reasonable people have already said, Please pardon me. You need to show your sister plenty love as you would to your new found heart throb. Defend her whenever your parents attack and let her feel at home with you. Indulge her and agree with almost everything she says or she sees as her opinion about things for now. Shower her with gift and get ready for stories of people with much worse more situation than she is and give her a reason to be alive. She needs attention. Wait a minute, don't allow her friend go, that will be a very big mistake. I advise you get very close to her as you have all the information you need with her. Expect any thing from them ranging from extremely stupid excuses to really terrible reasons for your sister to kill herself. Like her doing complicated abortion for a guy she loves so much who eventually dumped her to a stupid reason like everybody around does not like her. Best of luck. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by ferhyntorlah(f): 1:17pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Meklex: I've there,, the reason why we write down things we want to do on a book is because we cant do them,,atleast not without loads of encouragement and zeal,, thats more reason why there are more fictional books than non fictions,, Mexlex, must money be involved? What about charity? |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by fittty(m): 1:19pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Report her to the nearest police station!  |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by ferhyntorlah(f): 1:23pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
This topic has made frontpage; no wonder I'm reading so many derailing and unpleasant comments. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by hardeyincah(m): 1:24pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Some people are not meant to be heren, i guess Yaba Left and Aro is ur home... Okija_juju: ...Kill who?! She think say suicide na beans?! |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by ayduamah: 1:26pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
I love my people because we r abt the most non practical people.what if your sister is the bad influence in the friendship and the friend is the person that has kept her from the suicide? If you like call her,if you like take her to tb joshua all that na story,nshe needs medical attention fast,very fast. Take her to see a psychiatrist,thhey r not onlly for people running wild on the road,some of us here need am too. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by tajulasblog(f): 1:43pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
black_panther25: First of all before anybody gets on my case about reading my sister"s diary I know I should not have but I am glad I did.i READ UR POST WITH great pains and am so sad because i hve been dere, my dad was on suicide mission and he succeeded in killing himslf and its a sad place to be, pls snd me a mail modems4u@hotmail.co.uk. I would rather not say all here but i would leave u with this apologise to ur sister that u read her diary and dis is what u saw, be honest and tell her cos its her life , apologise for reading and it tlk with her. Agree with her to pray along with and let her open up to u. she needs to knw that someone is on her side and loves her to bits. Be honest and tell her. pour all ur love on her. i would be praying for u both even if u dont contact me. Peace be with u and it is well with ur family. u will testify. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by animari(f): 1:48pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
tajulasblog:excellent advice- be honest and non-judgemental- |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Nobody: 2:05pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Okija_juju: ...Kill who?! She think say suicide na beans?! I think you are wrong there,shit happens,i,ve seen people do what you,ll never expect them to do.I,ve seen someone jump on the train track and got crushed.There are people out there who can do very bizarre things.Killing isnt as hard as most people think especially if done to defend and protect your own life..suicide is another thing,boko boys who do it for fun are human beings. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by troy20(m): 2:32pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
men dis life is tough enuf.wel am disapointed by d unempathetic comments here.it shows d kind of parents u would make.i hope u dnt become a parent cause i fear 4 ur kids.jst because we dnt hav pple attemptn suicide here doesnt mean d tots dnt occure.u jst hav no idea wars goin on in d minds of pple u pass on d road.in a cuntry like dis, d fact suicids dnt happen shows our mental strenght.mayb dts y we hav a lota mad pple on d streets.its human 2 have empathy. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Bokoharam: 2:45pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
@OP, I tried to see if you talked about her age, her occupation/status but could see it throughout the first page I read. How old is she? Is she a student? These could help in deciphering what her problem could be. The advice for a teenager will be different from the one meant for a girl in her 20s, and also 30s etc. But I can tell that more teenagers are suicidal than girls in older age range. Anyway, you have to use wisdom. Let her know you, without necessarily referring to her diary, noticed her withdrawn behaviour. If she doesn't open up, you may then tell her about the diary. I don't know how close she is to you because that is what would determine the outcome of this exercise. tell her you love her sincerely. Time is of essence here, because a suicide doesn't say when it happens. Good luck to you. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by rakumiii(m): 2:59pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
black_panther25: First of all before anybody gets on my case about reading my sister"s diary I know I should not have but I am glad I did. Having gone through a similar situation with a friend's daughter, I have an idea what is going wrong. I know you didnt really say all you read but from the little hints you gave us, I know what is wrong with her. If you do not mind my saying but my assumption is that she is having a lesbian relationship with her girlfriend... That talk of being the black sheep of the family, planning to commit suicide is a technique the young Gay, Lesbians use if they are in a family that is not open to such a lifestyle. Would you rather have a gay sister or a dead sister? Thats a question you need to ask yourself before you proceed on what to do. If you really love your sister you have to accept her the way she is or stand the chance of her killing herself. Or hating you for life. 1 Like |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by tutu1: 3:09pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
people don't plan to commit suicide in public, I think this posters is a liar, stop feeding us fairy tale |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 3:27pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Thank you to all those who helped. I spoke to my parents about it and it was the biggest mistake ever. My dad wants to send her back to nigeria as he feels it"s western influence that is making her that way while my mom feels that she needs deliverance because she feels the devil is trying to use her. So I spoke to my sister about it and she told me she is not happy. She does not feel loved or understood by our parents. Whenever she speaks to them about something they don"t listen. She told me that even til now she stil gets teased at school and that friend of hers is her only friend and that there is many things going on that she does not want to talk about. I told her that she can come and live with me and that she should try not to let anything or even our parents make her feel unhappy because they are very old school and one day she will leave the house and can start her own life. She said she would like to come and live with me so I hope that things will be better. I have told my parents to try not to be too harsh on her and maybe should consider counseling but ya I think she wil b ok. Thanks for all your help. Am not gud when it comes to expressing emotions or know what to do in such situations so I don"t know if will be the best of help. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 3:30pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Am not the one planning to commit suicide. Why would I lie about something like this? I came online because I really did not know what to do. tutu1: people don't plan to commit suicide in public, I think this posters is a liar, stop feeding us fairy tale |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by missblessiN(f): 3:36pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Don't take this lightly, she is really depressed and needs all the love and attention that she can get, DON'T PITY HER, make her understand that she needs to be strong for herself...I''ve been through this and I can relate to how she feels. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 3:37pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
My sister will be 19 in may. She will be starting university this year.quote author=Bokoharam]@OP, I tried to see if you talked about her age, her occupation/status but could see it throughout the first page I read. How old is she? Is she a student? These could help in deciphering what her problem could be. The advice for a teenager will be different from the one meant for a girl in her 20s, and also 30s etc. But I can tell that more teenagers are suicidal than girls in older age range. Anyway, you have to use wisdom. Let her know you, without necessarily referring to her diary, noticed her withdrawn behaviour. If she doesn't open up, you may then tell her about the diary. I don't know how close she is to you because that is what would determine the outcome of this exercise. tell her you love her sincerely. Time is of essence here, because a suicide doesn't say when it happens. Good luck to you. [/quote] |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Okijajuju1(m): 3:37pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
gbosaa: Point of Correction::: BOKO HARAM Does not kill/(commit suicide) for fun)... They have the highest motivation any human can ever get to kill which is 'A higher purpose (GOD)'... If his baby sister wants to commit suicide, then she must be very very clinically depressed. Now depression is caused by a shitload of factors ranging from low self esteem, self hate, rejection, pregnancy (for teen girls), struggling academically, e.t.c.. Nobody ever commits suicide for fun.. And trust me sir, suicide is not as easy as you think.. You need to have hit the ultimate low for you to have the streght to actually kill yourself.. I think the OPs sister is just ranting in her diary like a juvenile delinquent..  |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 3:40pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Yes I think she is deppressed that's why I want her to see a counsilor or something. Will make arrangements for that. Thank u missblessiN: Don't take this lightly, she is undergoing acute depression and needs all the love and attention that she can get, DON'T PITY HER, make her understand that she needs to be strong for herself...I''ve been through this and I can relate to how she feels. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by abiL(f): 3:41pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
missblessiN: Don't take this lightly, she is undergoing acute depression and needs all the love and attention that she can get, DON'T PITY HER, make her understand that she needs to be strong for herself...I''ve been through this and I can relate to how she feels. Definite diagnosis without knowing the full symptoms. I salute you o!  Please tell me more.. Is she suffering from mild or severe acute depression? There will never be a shortage of "doctors" on NL.   |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by chronique(m): 3:43pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Ortis: We are over 150million peepz in nigeria fight tru d buzzle n struggle of life bt if ur nasty little sis tinks SUCIDE is d answer 2 her small little poo poo shit problem...dem let her b n i wil b happy becos d population wil go down 2 149,999,000 peepz i guz,...datz a gud news n pls email me her burial date Do you reason with ur anus? What's dis crap you posted? @ all: Just incase you guys dont know,a lot of peeps at one point in time in dia lives,have toyed with the idea of suicide. The first step to commiting suicide,is falling into depression. At that point,life begin to feel meaningless & worthless to the person. Pple contemplate suicide for different reasons. Some could think of suicide when everything positive they try to do ends in futility. It makes them feel worthless & they fall into deep depression. Others could feel they're not loved,or dont look attractive enough(self esteem issues),etc. However,some pple overcome it just by finding one person who truly loves them. I've faced different challenges in life & have also contemplated taking my life in the past. Each time I thought of it,I ended up remembering a woman who has given everything in life that she has to me. The thought of how she'd cope losing her only son,fear of her running mental & many others,were the only reasons why I dropped the idea. Unfortunately,most pple go thru this but dnt speak up. While I was thinking of it,I was still smiling at pple,trying to help others share their burdens,advicing pple,etc. But I couldn't tell pple my problems cos everyone thought I was doing fine & was more than capable. If it had happened,it would have shocked pple cos no one would have imagined it. Pple who go thru this,just need at least one person who they can say got much love for them. I'm sure if you carry out an anonymous research & ask pple to tell you the truth,you'd be shocked at what you'll get. @ OP: Look for how to bond with ur sister. Suicide is a function of the mind & once it eats deep into a person's thoughts,it's difficult for the person to come out of it. When you see pple who like staying alone by themselves in secluded places for as long as possible & as often as they can,that's sometimes,a sign there's something wrong. The best way to fight suicide,is to attack the mind of the potential victim positively. Some pple are strong enough to come out of it on their own(my case for example) but not everyone can do that. Even some of d strong ones end up taking their lives over time. You cant save them by buying them gifts or giving them cash;it wont work. You need to draw them out of their self induced seclusion & work on their mental faculty cos that's where the problem resides. You need to find a way of re-organising their minds & debugging them of all negative thoughts. Try as much as possible not to let them stay alone by themselves cos when they do,it's an avenue for them to revisit their worries. You also need to engage them in heart to heart discussions where more than two pple are involved. Hearing others share their deep personal problems,might lead them to ask questions & eventually open up on what they're going through. 1 Like |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 3:46pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
I asked about her friend and if something was going on. She told me she is not gay. That her friend is going thru similar stuff so they are just very close friendsm rakumiii: |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Meklex(m): 3:47pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
ferhyntorlah:oh! I totally forgot about charity, she was my ex. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Nobody: 3:57pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
black_panther25: Thank you to all those who helped. I spoke to my parents about it and it was the biggest mistake ever. My dad wants to send her back to nigeria as he feels it"s western influence that is making her that way while my mom feels that she needs deliverance because she feels the devil is trying to use her. So I spoke to my sister about it and she told me she is not happy. She does not feel loved or understood by our parents. Whenever she speaks to them about something they don"t listen. She told me that even til now she stil gets teased at school and that friend of hers is her only friend and that there is many things going on that she does not want to talk about. I told her that she can come and live with me and that she should try not to let anything or even our parents make her feel unhappy because they are very old school and one day she will leave the house and can start her own life. She said she would like to come and live with me so I hope that things will be better. I have told my parents to try not to be too harsh on her and maybe should consider counseling but ya I think she wil b ok. Thanks for all your help. Am not gud when it comes to expressing emotions or know what to do in such situations so I don"t know if will be the best of help. Tot almost evribody here advised you against telling ur parents. U eventually did nd u now claim it's d biggest mistake ever. Is it dt u're tryn to write a script here or disturb us cos i tot u said u came here for advice nd d one tin almost evribody here has advised u against is telling ur parents. Well, i hope d mistake doesn't backfire cos u shldn't av expected less 4rm dem. Good luck nd i'm outta here (i'm starting to doubt ur story). |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 3:57pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Thank you so much. Your advice really helped. I thought my sister was just an introvert. She never likes to go anywhere. Even on christmas day and new years she did not want to go out. But we are all going to be there for here especially since she has opened up a bit to me. chronique: |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by Bokoharam: 4:04pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
rakumiii: No, please! There is no need to offer such lxb acceptance advice. This is not the best kind of advice this guy needs now. There is nothing without a remedy. For her to realize she is doing something bad (let's assume your theory is right), it means she can easily come out of it. The problem with most people is that they indulge in something bad, yet do not have a feeling it is bad. |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackpanther25(m): 4:06pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
I told my parents because I live about 3hrs away. What if she decided to do something and am not around. Her parents should be aware so that they know she is deppressed. If it was my child I would want to know. They have not told her they know and I don"t blv they will. Their initial reaction was not what I expected but they have aagreed to counselling and her living with me for a bit. You do not have to believe me. I got some advice for my situation which helped me make a decision that I thought would help my sis the best way. alutacontinua: |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by blackis(m): 4:45pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Do ALL you can my brother to ensure she feels loved, understood and free to express herself. Get her to move in with you asap and create an environment of love, acceptance and understanding for her. Go easy on her, open up and let her know you draw strength for your difficult times when you remember that you have someone like her around. Say little but reassure her that you understand what she's going through and that you will be there for her. Be ready to listen when she warms up to you because she will once she senses she can trust you. It will take some doing my brother but it is possible. Good luck to you!! |
| Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by ferhyntorlah(f): 4:52pm On Jan 03, 2013 |
Black_panther25, You're off to a great start. Now that you've told your parents, I really hope they won't mention it to her by mistake. Now you've got her to open up to you, which is great! Also, her temporary relocation to your place and counselling has been accepted by all for her well-being, good! The next phase is improving her self esteem and worth. Making her feel comfortable in her own skin and body, harnessing her inherent skills and talents and having a positive mindset and attitude. The counselling sessions and your efforts will go a long way to achieve the above. Speak nice, encouraging and positive words to her. If you notice she's good in a particular thing, point it out to her and compliment her. What builds up self esteem is positivity and appreciation not negativity and insults. You both should hang out together often and have lots of gisting time; involve your babe also. Give her a listening ear and let her feel very comfortable around you. Now that she's preparing to enter the university, be her mentor in university affairs. Finally, show her plenty and plenty of TLC-Tender Loving Care, attention and appreciation. |
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