R-Dy, just like you to complicate matters even more!

Joy, did you say if someone is raped 10 times does it mean she'll have to abort 10 times? So, if she gets pregnant 10 times she should have all 10 babies? Na winch?

Abortion will continue even in the next 100 years not only in 2008.

D-reloaded:

R-Dy, just like you to complicate matters even more!

Just a thought

**

Bebstic:

This is all so interesting. It's amazing what the ladies think.

I thought the really funny answers would be from the guys.
For those who would conveniently abort the baby, does it mean the wedding goes on as planned in 2 months? besides, does the abortion heal the relationship between the two of you? will it ever be the same?

for the pro-life people, are you willing to give up the wedding in 2 months or do you even have to - i mean, are the pro life guys willing to go ahead and marry and raise an unknown man's child?

I think one more question I'll like to pose to the guys is that; whether the child lives or dies, does it change the love you have for your fiancee?

Thank you oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!  That is what this thread is about.  A test of courage, love, resolve, and loyalty.  Nothing to do with religion at all.

I am pro-choice, but I will not abort that baby!  Being a victim of rape does not make me any less of a human being--even if I begged for the rape.  All I need from my fiancee is love and support, not even for the child, but for me.  No one says it is going to be easy.  If he thinks it is difficult, how does he imagine I would be feeling with such a predicament around my neck for the rest of my life? This is going to be a long race till I die.  I have to confront a lot of nightmares and no one says it is going to be easy.  The wedding and the fiancee takes a back seat for now, till we can sort this whole thing out.  That child growing inside me is HALF OF ME!  I cannot imagine giving that half up--just because the other half is as a result of a crime.  If it makes me an outcast--so be it.  Will deal with the "stuff" as it comes along.  If that fiancee loves me--he would just have to accept me with ma package otherwise-----OR------LET'S JUST KISS AND SAY GOODBYE!   Life goes on.


If he can't stand the site of me growing with a "rapist's" baby--too bad.  I will not abort that child.  I will not give it up for adoption!   Where ever he can fit in--fine.  I will not blame him for whatever decisions he chooses to take.  PROCHOICE for me, PROCHOICE for him. Just like if he rapes a housemaid and impregnates a housemaid or anyother lady before or after while we are married--it is ma duty to raise that child unconditionally if the housegirl/mother decides she does not want the child. That love makes a difference in the child's life.  She can come and claim her child in the future when she discovers it is the only one she has in this world--and after she has been dumped by many "fiancees"!

All I am going to face in the future is nothing compared to my taking the life of an innocent child.  If the child turns out to be a curse, so be it.  If a blessing, so be it.  It is a chance I MUST take. I don't think I can have the heart to do it.  If the man cannot hang with me, he is free to go.  If he decides to hang with me--better understand the implications.  His presence in my life should not[b] tempt [/b] me to miss the rapist.

R-Dynamite:

Joy,

did you say if someone is raped 10 times does it mean she'll have to abort 10 times? So, if she gets pregnant 10 times she should have all 10 babies? Na winch?

Abortion will continue even in the next 100 years not only in 2008.

If it is ma call in life to be impregnated by 10 rapists or more and be lucky enough to be "fertilized" by them all, Giuness book of records here I come. Abortion does not bother me at all.  I just would only encourage it if the woman or fetus is in danger.  Anything else--not an option.  Life will go on.  Unwanted pregnancy is not a crime--including one from a rapist with 8 heads!

I will wear that badge with honour!  My "PROCHOICE"!

I can only speak for maself.  Every body else---PROCHOICE your matter.  I have taken care of ma end and I feel comfortable with my decisions.

almondjoy:

If it is ma call in life to be impregnated by 10 rapists or more and be lucky enough to be "fertilized" by them all, Giuness book of records here I come. Abortion does not bother me at all.

I don't believe you, sorry.

Thread has become redundant.

Precisely.

the woman's choice I think would be between the fiance and the baby. The fiance would most likely call off the wedding if the girl decides to keep the pregnancy.

However, the choices can also depend on the circumstances or location. For example, women have been raped in war zones and kept the babies rather than have an abortion. There was a documentary on Rwanda which showed some of these women. These kids were still loved by their mothers even though they were the product of rape. And many times the kids were all that was left of the women's extended family- everyone else ( parents, siblings, cousins, etc), were all dead.


In any other situation, there'd be a bigger debate, I guess. The woman might just have to choose between her fiance and the baby. Though maybe a lot of women would decide to abort in the confusion of the moment, and also fear of losing their partner.

imo, if the man can't live with what happened, then maybe the union wasnt meant to be and they should both go their separate ways. Even if the woman aborts the pregnancy, what happened will still be a big problem even during the marriage.  A marriage which should be postponed anyway so both parties can recover from the trauma and reevaluate their situation.


In another instance, there was case years ago in the paper where a woman went for IVF treatments and was accidentally inseminated with the wrong sperm. From a white man. The woman was black. So was her husband.  The clinic found out after everything. The woman decided to keep the baby but I don't know her husband's reaction.  I wasnt there o- no way of verifying. I read it in some paper ages ago.

tpia, any reason why you and a few others keep implying that the only reason why a woman might choose NOT to keep the baby is because of fear of losing the fiance or what "society" would think?

Is it really that hard for people to believe that maybe some women just wouldnt want such growing in their bodies?

D-reloaded:

tpia, any reason why you and a few others keep implying that the only reason why a woman might choose NOT to keep the baby is because of fear of losing the fiance or what "society" would think?

Is it really that hard for people to believe that maybe some women just wouldnt want such growing in their bodies?

oh, I'm not implying a woman wouldnt want to abort the pregnancy as her own personal decision. I was looking at it from the angle of the woman not wanting to abort the baby if possible.

But many women no doubt would prefer to get rid of it. After all, that's lifelong evidence of the rape. Not to mention the demented rapist. In fact, in some western countries I think most rape victims are given drugs to end/prevent any such pregnancy, as soon as the rape is reported. Doubt if the woman is even asked whether she wants it or not.

Rape isnt the only reason a woman would end a pregnancy- inconvenience, health, annoyance, breaking up with a partner, uncooperative boyfriend,etc are all some of the reasons why pregnancies get terminated.

Yes. There are various reasons but rape is the one being discussed here

In fact, in some western countries I think most rape victims are given drugs to end/prevent any such pregnancy, as soon as the rape is reported. Doubt if the woman is even asked whether she wants it or not.

Like I said thank God for civilized countries.

D-reloaded:

Do you consider yourself such?

Would you mind ,just answering the question?

No. If that's what you got from my comment, that's your problem.

. . . . . . .Redundancy!!!!

abortion is not the key. You can still prevent conception from taking place by rushing her to the hospital.

Wow, a complicated topic, however, this issue is not black and white, many shades of grey in between. Um, I honestly do not know what i would do in that situation, probably would need a lot of encouragement and help from others. That is not something i would wish on myself or anyone for that matter. I don't want to be in that situation, I honestly wont know what I will do, its not that simple. However, I do see myself doing the whole rape kit thing, where i am tested and i take the morning after pill so that i will not have to be in that situation. But push comes to shove, if the pregnancy ended up being full term and I end up keeping it because its too late to abort it, I would probably cuss or hate that child. But then again after carrying it for9 months and giving birth and looking at that child, i might have a change of heart. Looking at that innocence, he/she did not ask to be here and nor must it be punished for the insensitive acts of the man that put us in that situation. Like i said i wouldn't even wish that situation on my worst enemy.

Ndipe:

abortion is not the key. You can still prevent conception from taking place by rushing her to the hospital.

aint in medical field so cant argue, how is it done?
very serious issue guess i would need serious advise from all angles and find out what my wife-to-be would want to do about it.

They can prevent conception from taking place and collect DNA evidence for a possible rape trial.

Seun reply dey always taya me DNA to match watin? for naija? abi developed countries?

I go fashi her! and am being HONEST here unlike these hypocrites acting "holier-than-thou"

I guess she is a super fiancee who deserves the jilting I'll serve her. In under three months she can take in and have a child, it means she can deliver thirty six children before she turns forty eight years old.
Please o, I only date and marry normal human beings not aliens.

[UPDATE]
I just saw 'pregnant'. From some reason I thought the title said 'pregnant and gave birth'.
My solution still remains to abandon her if she didn't know morning after-pills are readily available. I don't see why she won't tell me a day after the incident but rather hide it till pregnancy.