One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
>> When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
>> sacrifice and gave up baked beans.
>> Some months later, on my birthday my car broke down on the way home
>> from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and
>> told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
>> On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
>
>> more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would
>> walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at
>> the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of
> baked beans.
>> All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my
>> arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
>> delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
>> He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
>> I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
>> telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
> returned and went to answer the
> call.
>>
>> The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the
>> pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out
>> of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg
>> and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
>> fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
>> I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
>
>> Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The
>> stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
>> Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other
>> room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
>> The pleasure was indescribable.
>> When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my
>> freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin,
>> placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very
> relieved and pleased with myself.
>>
>> My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
>> returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
>> peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this
>> point he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
> around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

>>
>>
>> I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it has been here before. still funny sha.

I'd be super-embarassed if I were in her shoes.

very very embarrassing