I’ve made up my mind to marry Augustine though he doesn’t have money to pay my bride price

By Adaeze Amos

Ruth and Augustine have made up their minds to get married. They dated for three years before Augustine proposed marriage. But Ruth kept him waiting for two years because he didn’t have a job. Five years into the relationship, Ruth decided to buy some of the items needed for the traditional wedding so that the ceremony can take place



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They were staying in the same neighbourhood in Lagos and saw each other as neighbours –– nothing more. But whenever Augustine needed water, he would come to Ruth’s compound. Ruth said, “The flat he was sharing with his brother had no water because their pumping machine broke down and no one cared to fix it. And because he hails from the same tribe with me, I always allowed him into my compound to fetch water. Although my neighbours frowned upon this, I lied that Augustine was a relative and pleaded with them to allow him fetch whenever he came.”

That was how Augustine started developing a cordial relationship with Ruth. “Sometimes, he would come into my apartment to iron his clothes. I made him to feel free anytime he came around. We would discuss and he would always tell me how hard-working I was, leaving the house early in the morning and coming back late in the evening because my office was on the Island. I always found his company interesting. When I moved into that neighbourhood, I only had my weekends to stay at home, except of course when I was on leave. Augustine was the only person who was coming to my house. More so, we spoke the same language, although we hail from different states.”

There was a day it rained heavily and Ruth had some of her washed clothes spread outside. “He collected the clothes, took them to his house and brought them back when I returned. I was already getting worried and was about asking my neighbours about the clothes when he opened the gate and handed them to me. That was the kind of relationship we had. It was a platonic relationship.”

Gradually, the relationship developed into a sizzling affair. Ruth explained, “The affair didn’t start suddenly. It took Augustine time to woo me, although I saw the writing on the wall. Perhaps, he was waiting for an ideal time to do that. And that happened one Saturday evening when Augustine and his elder brother, whom he was staying with, came to watch a football match in my apartment.

“He felt so free in my house that a close observer would think we were dating and that was what I liked about him. I never had much interest in football, but because they came to watch, I sat down with them and watched with them. While we were all watching, he went to my fridge, brought out some soft drinks and a bottle of peanuts from the dining table, poured it into a saucer and served. I was only smiling. The brother was just observing him in awe. The reason was because people around me thought I was always feeling too big and hardly smiled or greeted anybody. So, the young man was surprised that I could find a friend in Augustine.”

After the match, his brother left, but Augustine stayed behind. “We discussed until it was late at night. Although it was raining heavily that night, I reminded him that he would not sleep in my house. His response was funny.

“Augustine said if sleeping over would make me start to keep him at arm’s length as I did to other people in the street, he wouldn’t mind going home drenched. He avoided anything that would annoy me and he respected me like a lady. Apart from the fact that Augustine was dark complexioned, good looking, with a body frame that attracted me the first time I saw him (which was what made me to greet him with a smile and allow him to be fetching water from my apartment), he knew how to talk. His spoken English was fluent. He knew the right words to use. He read Economics, but had no job after seven years of graduation. He studied in Benin and came to Lagos to look for a job, but Mother Luck hadn’t smiled on him yet. So, he would confide in me and tell me about his family, his sisters, and his poor mother. His father was late.”

Ruth started seeing Augustine, not just as a mere friend, but a confidant. “We would talk about almost everything; but one thing he never asked was if I had a man in my life. I also did not ask if he had a girlfriend. I had this fear that if he said he had a girlfriend, I might not be able to hide my ill feelings. So, both of us avoided the question. He also had not met a guy in my house, not even once.”

Ruth’s love life had been shattered when the man in her life travelled out of the country. Since then, she had refused to give another relationship a trial. “But when I met Augustine, I told myself that I would re-consider having an affair. But he had not said anything. I was waiting for him to pop the question. I’m very traditional. I’m not one of the educated ladies who feel it is normal for a lady to woo a guy, instead of the other way round.”

Ruth and Augustine continued like that. Maybe Augustine was waiting for the right time. Perhaps Ruth felt he was long overdue to name the relationship. She overlooked it. “But when a colleague visited me one Sunday evening, and we were chatting, Augustine strolled in as usual and met him chatting with me. His countenance changed. I could read it on his face that he wasn’t happy at all. He was jealous. In order to prove to the guy that he had been coming to my house and he wasn’t a stranger, he went to the fridge, took a bottle of soft drink, picked one of the dailies on my table and was reading it as if he was going to write an exam on it. He purposely refused to contribute to our discussion and I too purposely refused to introduce the man to him.”

When the man left, Augustine dropped the paper he pretended to be reading and asked me a series of questions. “You should have told me your boyfriend was coming, I wouldn’t have interrupted.”

I replied, “But you didn’t interrupt. I welcomed you, didn’t I?”

“I was listening to his wishy-washy discussion. I think he talks a lot,” he continued.

Ruth kept quiet for a while, knowing that he was just being jealous. When she didn’t talk, Augustine broke the silence. “But I don’t think he looks more handsome than me. I wonder what you are looking for?”

“But why this comparison? You have refused to say anything about our relationship. So, what is your problem?”

“But you already know that I love you. My actions are glaring about it.”

“I believe so much in what I hear because one’s actions may not be glaring enough. So say it,” She challenged him.

Augustine left his seat and sat beside her, “I don’t want a mere affair. I want you to be my wife, but why it looked as if I was delaying was because of my jobless situation. But I know things will be all right soon.”

That marked the beginning of their courtship. Their discussions also changed from that moment. “I told him about my love life and how Henry jetted out of the country and out of my life. He told me some interesting stories about himself too. He told me how he had not been able to love a woman until he found me. Even if that is not true but that honestly made me happy and I believed him.”

A few weeks after the discussion, Augustine insisted that Ruth should be wearing an engagement ring on her third finger. “Yes, so that people would know that you are engaged and leave you for me. Please, I don’t want to see any male colleague in your house. The female ones can come, but the male ones. No!”

Augustine had no money to buy the engagement ring. Ruth ended up paying for it, although both of them went to the jewellery shop. Ruth picked the one she liked; but when they got to the counter, Ruth had to pay because Augustine had no money. “That is my fear. How can I engage myself? I hope this will not tarry for long. I’m waiting for Augustine to raise the money for the traditional wedding ceremony first.”

Readers, when they waited for a year and Augustine was still jobless and there was no money for the traditional wedding, Ruth took a bold step. Keep a date with us as you get to know what happened.

AMBO movie script _{. . had lots of contradictions but i REALLY wouldn't want to go into that now}

Please keep your stories short and to the point. . . , ^{Yawns and leaves thread}

i had to go look at my Punch of Sunday when i saw this thread, poster , is that your story in the paper?

I read the story on sunday and I think she may regret it.

am not sure Augustine is really in love with her. Rather, he only wants to block her from dating another guy.

No, I dont think he loves her.

The Poor can also Love just like the Rich also cry!!!!! Its possible its true love

A story perfectly cooked and served

even if he does, is Ruth going to be the one financing the whole process. From traditional wedding to white wedding and honeymoon. She already coughed up the funds for the engagement ring.

If Augustine wants to marry and he has no job, then surely common sense should tell him he needs to find a solution to his situation. Either delay the marriage or find a job. Start a business, no matter how small. When the children start coming, is Ruth also going to be the one bankrolling the entire household expenses. Unless the guy is handicapped, she's getting herself into a big problem here.

Ruth herself is an enabler. She's placing no demands or responsibility on the guy, hence she's not helping him in any way, even though she thinks she is.

Love can go either way, be it the rich or the poor cos love has no boundary. Actually real love conquers all things, wishing them the best of luck.