"Ilorin where u dey go?" i inquired as i saw him going out of the compound. "i wan go drink Monkey tail, e be like say i get waist pain" he responded. I left the table tennis i was playing and joined him. If Monkey tail was to relieve pains, then i sure needed it, because i could still feel the pains of the heavy beating i recieved the other day.

Monkey tail is a herbal mixture that is very alcoholic. I had tried it once. It works wonders in relieving waist pain.

"mama Ade abeg give me 3 short" Ilorin ordered. Mama Ade gave him the 3 shorts, and he drank it with all dexterity. "Mama Ade, give me 4 short" i ordered trying to outshine Ilorin because his eyeh brothers were there.

As i drank two sips from the big cup Mama Ade used to serve me, something happened. Mama Ade's monkey tail seems more alcoholic than the one i had drank before.

It was very hot. As it ran down my throat, i tot my throat was melting. "make i no fall my hand oh, make i drink dis monkey tail finish oh" i said to myself as i drank more. I took a quick glimpse at Ilorin and he urged me to drink up. As i drank more, i could feel something inside as if a "Volcano was erupting" in my stomach. Inside of me was as hot as "Molten Magma".

"Mama Ade, abeg come take this your cup, i no fit finish the Monkey tail wey dey inside" i almost cried out. My eyes were spinning. Profused sweat were goshing out of my body. "make we dey go Flow" Ilorin said after paying for the drink. One thing about me is that anytime i drank alcohol, it would seem as if i had suddenly become a cripple. So i looked at my legs to confirm if it was still there. It was there.

I developed a new walking step. I walked as if i was wearing a "Timberland" shoe when i was only putting on a leather sandal. "why u dey waka like dis na?" Ilorin asked. "ehnnn, u say?" i queried because i couldn't get what he asked, or was it that the Monkey tail had blocked my eardrum?. "i say why u dey waka like dis?" he asked again as my eardrum were now open. "i wan learn how to waka like big man na" i responded and he giggled.

My phone rang, it was Ireti. Initially i tot i saw "eti", (without the "i" and "r" as the caller, or was it that the Monkey tail made me momentarily long sighted?

Ireti wanted me to come to Blue angels hotel. I knew it was time for "serious business".

Legend has it that Monkey tail enhances L'ibido. So i was fully ready for the task ahead.

Pls continue o flow.

The old looking Blue angels hotel was very colourful that evening, with beautiful ladies walking to and fro, i noticed practically all of them were putting on Blue clothes. Some young men were also there but they weren't putting on blue.

Just then, i saw someone. I saw Tobi; Omolade's boyfriend or rather Omolade's ex-boyfriend with someone that looked like Ronke; Ireti's friend. Yes, it was Ronke. They were walking hand in hand like lovers.

"abi Tobi nahim be Ronke sugar boy? Chai!! So na Tobi dey chop dis sweet Ronke" i said to myself. I waved at Ronke, and she waved back. On seeing that, Tobi gave me a "u wan die abi?" look, while i gave him a "bros, na u be chairman oh" look in return. He was asking Ronke something, i guess was: "do u know that big headed boy?" as they walked upstairs. I looked away to prevent my eyes from seeing the dreadful face of Tobi any further.

I called Ireti to inform her i was around, she told me to come and meet her in the famous room 17.

As i walked down, i saw a lady fumbling with opening the door to a room while her lover was kissing her in the neck. This lady was also on blue. "why all dis women wear blue today na, dem dey do party?" i tot as i knocked at room 17.

"come in Ugo" Ireti said from inside. At that instant my d'ick stood at attention, i just couldn't tell why. "bros, behave urself na, i know say u get work to do, but just behave for now, when work wan start u go stand" i said to my d'ick.

I opened the door and walked in with my d'ick still hard.

The first thing Ireti saw as i came in was my bulged d'ick. She grabbed me instantly and unclothed me.

I had strength to perform, i couldn't tell why. I f~ucked the living daylight out of her and she moaned loudly. "abi na the Monkey tail wey i drink?" i asked myself as i rammed into her from behind to begin the "fourth round".

Ireti gave me money, i weighed the pile of money with my hand and assumed it soundn't be less than 30k.

I asked Ireti why all the ladies were putting on blue, and she said, "u see Ugo, i knew i would definately tell u dis someday, well, that day is today, ehnnnn, Blue angels is the name of our female club, it is not a cult but a club for divorcee and widows." she pulsed for a while and continued, "we gather, not to harm anyone, but to help ourselves, those of us that needs sugar boys, they get hooked up by others". "ok, i can see where the name of this hotel was coined from" i said. "yeah, Ronke; the owner of this hotel is our president, and i am her vice, we meet here every Tuesday, that is today, our colour is blue" she added.

"Ugo i would like to give a task to u" Ireti said. "whats the task, u know i can do anything for u" i said. "ehnn, we just welcomed new members to the club today, and some of them needs sugar boys, i would like u to hook them up with fine young men that are ur friends, of course u know these young men must be able to perform well, like u" she said touching my hard d'ick. "ok i would do my best" i assured. "thank u, thats why i love u" she said.

I told her i knew Tobi; Ronke's Lover and she insisted she would go introduce me to Him. I put on my cloth, so did Ireti, we left room 17, and yet my d'ick was still hard.

Ireti practically berged on Ronke. We met Ronke and Tobi n'aked. "see as dis one p'rick small, nahim him wan burn my own for fire that day" i almost spoke out as i stared at Tobi's d'ick.

As i gave Tobi a handshake of friendship, he smiled, and for the first time i saw his gap teeth. We had become friends, or so i tot.

Ibo boy wey like Yoruba,now I see why

Foxy eeeeh! Where u dey oooh!! U don do wetin i say make u do?

^^Bro, your thread risk serious derailment if put it gets to the front page!
But if that's what you want...

kwangi: ^^Bro, your thread risk serious derailment if put it gets to the front page!
But if that's what you want...

so what do u suggest?

flow1759:

so what do u suggest?

I'm not really suggesting anything.
Just pointing out the down side of the thread making it to the front page. Can you manage the attention?
It's your choice to make. Anyways i think more subscribers would be really nice.

kwangi: I'm not really suggesting anything.
Just pointing out the down side of the thread making it to the front page. Can you manage the attention?
It's your choice to make. Anyways i think more subscribers would be really nice.

p

ok. Can u help me suggest the story to the moderator? Am finding it difficult to do so.

i ve jst been reading ur story bt had neva commented... Flow u dope bro, and very funny u are... U are too MUCHEST

"Angom, shebi u been say if u see sugar mummy, u go rush am?" i asked Angom as we were smoking in Angom's room two days later. "ehen na, u don see sugar Mummy for me?" he inquired.

"i don see, but u fit perform?" i asked, "Flow why u dey ask dis kin question na, u no know say any benue pekin must sabi perform? Me na original benue pekin like Tuface na" he added. "guy, tommorow, i go carry u go see somebody, but u go dey give me my cut when the money begin dey come, u hear?". I said. "i go dey give u na, kai ibo boys!! una too like money" he said. "benue boys una no like money!! Ehen no tell anybody oh, na only u i wan involve for dis tin. Ilorin no be fine boy and him no even sabi perform sef" i said. "hahahahaha!!! U too funny oh, what of Kelvin and Sammy na?" Angom asked. "them no get mind na" i reponded and we laughed.

I went outside to play table tennis with others. "Ilorin, u know say Ojiga don come back from police station?" Sammy said, "ehennn!!, who bail am na?" Ilorin asked. "na Mama Alhaja na" Sammy responded. "guy we need to dey careful with our things oh, Ojiga na serious thief" i added.

Soon, i lost interest in the table tennis so i told Kelvin to go bring his Chess board for both of us to play. Ilorin and Sammy were playing table tennis while me and Kelvin concentrated on Chess game.

The four of us paused at the same time when we saw a drop dead angel catwalking. "chei!!!! Ilorin eeeeeh!! This one na Mammy water eeeeeh!!!" i said with my mouth wide open. "No be small thing oh, nkà wu ólùgbajié boys eeeeh" Sammy spoke in Ibo. "i go go chyke am" Kelvin said suddenly.

"no go, she go fall ur hand, u no even dress well sef, na only boxers u wear oh" i cautioned. "abeg e no mean, i go go jor" Kelvin said as he walked up to the lady. I knew he would mess up, so i drew closer in other to hear their conversation. I was hiding by a wall, so they couldn't see me.

"Hello babe, my name is Kelvin, what of u?" he asked, "am Bimbo" the lady responded. "ok Bimbo, Do u from this location? Does u have a phone?" he fired from his arsenal of grammatical blunders.

I did my best not to laugh. But, i burst into heavy laughter when he finally said ..................................... "Bimbo i will calling u tommorow".

Guy mehn we dey feel ur story here 4 ghana ooh,any time guys wan laugh...na nairaland tins.

don ifez: Guy mehn we dey feel ur story here 4 ghana ooh,any time guys wan laugh...na nairaland tins.

chaaaaarley!! How ghana na?

Masaaaaa,weather hot ooh.

flow1759:

chaaaaarley!! How ghana na?

Masaaaaa,weather hot ooh.

laughing in yoruba *mo ku* yekeyeke* hehehehehehehe* but flow y u get half baked fwends lyk diz.

"make we go smoke for Legendary na" Ilorin suggested. "make we go na, anything wey una wan drink, i go pay, money dey" i assured.

We got to Legendary. We chatted as we drank, "u know say if igboh no dey, u fit use some other local things hi urself" Angom said, "things like wetin?" i asked. "guy if u soak cloth for fuel, press the fuel comot for the cloth, con put the cloth for ur nose, as u dey breath in naso e dey hi u, e go hi u pass igboh sef" Angom said. "guy u sure wetin u dey talk?" i inquired. "i sure na, we dey do am for benue wen igboh no dey, one day i go show u how e dey be" Angom promised.

"dis una igboh sef, how e dey sweet una sef?" Sammy asked. "oboy, na the sweetest thing oh" Ilorin said. "na the sweetest thing oh, but only say t'oto sweet pass am, u wan taste am?" i said offering Sammy the Jumbo i was smoking. "make i taste the thing sef" Sammy said, reluctantly, he took the weed from me.

Kelvin was about saying something to make Sammy stop, but it was too late. Sammy had already dragged in and puffed out. "Sammy!! Sammy!! Sammy!!" we cheered. As he puffed out, he coughed. Ilorin, Angom and Myself were still cheering but Kelvin frowned at our mischief. The smoke was choking him. "see person wey say him hate Igboh, Igboh go show am pepper today" i tot. He dragged in again, this time shouting, "yeeeeeeh!!". I saw his eyes shuting, i tot he would run mad soon as he continously shook his head. "maybe him want make the Igboh diggest well well for him brain nahim make him dey shake him head" i tot. He was enjoying it because i could see him smiling, or was it the igboh spirit in him that ordered him to smile against his own wish?. He dragged in for the third time and ...................... He passed out.

Emperortj93: Flow pls i can't fit shout oo, jst update sharpali cus ma babe, re sista and me (shairman) rili luv ur tori Btw u re d best nigeria comic writer ever **jst tinkin out loud**

hahahaha. Bros AMEN oh. What am i to say.

flow1759:

Foxy pls do me a favour, can you suggest it to Cuddlemii. Am finding it difficult. Pls do it for me. Just like Damex has suggested "barack boy". @DAMEX, Thanks

I had recommended it in the past.

And, I just recommended it again.

I am sure it would be on frontpage soon, considering that it's a unique write-up.

Thanks

I doubt. Seun doesnt like sex explicit thing s on his front page

We tried reviving Sammy but to no avail, i tot he was dead.

Just then, i tot of giving him Mouth to mouth resuscitation, because same thing occured in the barracks some years back and the guy that passed out was brought back to life by mouth to mouth resuscitation. "even if we go use mouth bring sammy come back, no be me go use my mouth, Sammy wey him mouth dey smell like soak-away" i tot. "make una bring water oh" Angom ordered.

As i and the barman rushed to bring water i was recalling with nostalgia my first day of tasting weed. It was in the barracks, my friends told me after the incident that immediately i dragged in as i took my first kiss, i removed my cloth; wearing only boxers and telling them; "heat dey oh!!", when it wasn't sunny but cloudy (thats a story for another day). "igboh go tell u say sun na moon, and u go call sun, moon" i tot.

The water was splashed on Sammy and he was still lying like a log of wood, "abi him don die, God forbid!!, imagine say him die, police go just arrest us, news to just say: A CORPER DIED AFTER SMOKING M'ARIJU'ANA FOR THE FIRST TIME, him no fit die jor, i never see where igboh kill person before jor" i tot to myself. The water was splashed on him again and the was revived.

It was 10pm. We were happy our dead friend ressurected. We walked home happily; though Sammy was walking dizzily, we were still happy that at least our friend isn't dead, not knowing our Happiness would turn sadness in few seconds.

Dis one wey Aunty Cuddlemii say my story unique ehnnnnn!!!!

flow1759: Dis one wey Aunty Cuddlemii say my story unique ehnnnnn!!!!

flow on oga flow no mind these jew men were no wan carry your tori go frontpage, na because of your tori the make i come nairaland

flow1759: Dis one wey Aunty Cuddlemii say my story unique ehnnnnn!!!!

Lol!
Daddy flow, my saying so doesn't make a difference.
The quality of your story attracted a lot of views and comments(even without it being on the FrontPage)
Just keep up the good work.

My main man Flow,
Let me be the first to say Congrats! on making it to front page,
Oya let the numerous updates begin....
You need to go to Legendary bar o to celebrate

An don't forget the monkey tail....

@Foxy/yellow efon,
Just take am easy o,pls.

Viewers plenty o,
Oya,Oga flow we dey wait o....

No it's not

Flow just hit front page!!! FOXY SERVE EVERYONE VIEWING one JUMBO round