Hello all,I had initially posted this on romance section before moving it here.I would really appreciate real solutions especially from anyone who has been through similar situation. God bless.

A second cousin's hubby has asked her to leave his house after 9 years and 4 kids...his reason"we are no longer compactible.I want to marry another person"

Dear naira landers,pls help with phone nos of a good lawyer to help cousin as her hubby insists the marriage was not legal as they were only married traditionally...no church or court marriage document

Personally I think this is crap..but let me hear ur views and comments.


Pls they shud be helpful notes I beg...am serious!

Ha . . . this is a serious issue oh!
Either the man is under some serious spiritual influence, or he has gone plain mad!
In this day of (to use AJ's words ) 'Chop and clean mouth' that a man will throw his wife and mother of 4 kids out of the home because of another woman
Mba nu . . . It can't be done!
This is why I think every woman should be financially independent . . .
If he wants to go and marry the other woman, he's free. But I'm not leaving my home for now b***h!

Now, this is serious. The woman needs to pray hard to save her marriage.

How can a man just wake up one morning and tell his wife, mother of his kids, to pack and leave? Valid marriage or not, things don't just happen that way. There must be underlying reasons your cousin hasn't told you or you haven't mentioned. Even if a man is tired of his wife and has someone else, he won't just throw away a marriage of 9years away like that. He may begin to misbehave, have extra marital affairs etc but not ask wife to leave.

Ask your cousin what's been happening in her home, what arguments/disagreements she and her hubby have been dealing with, to know the best way to approach the matter.

Thanks everyone!

I feel bad for my cousin...praying for her for God to restore her marriage...but if the hubby pulls thru with his threat,what will she do?...how will she start from the scratch!!

I really need a lawyer's take on this...its sad,young ladies becareful b4 u enter marriage...I also think u shud insist on a proper wedding b4 sleeping with a man....

Smh....

dollypenn: Thanks everyone!

I feel bad for my cousin...praying for her for God to restore her marriage...but if the hubby pulls thru with his threat,what will she do?...how will she start from the scratch!!

I really need a lawyer's take on this...its sad,young ladies becareful b4 u enter marriage...I also think u shud insist on a proper wedding b4 sleeping with a man....

Smh....

So they are not even married

@uju


There was a ttaditionl marriage ceremony which both families attended.

She got pregnant immediately after that...

Ujujoan:

So they are not even married

Op had mentioned that they didn't have a court or church wedding. Just traditional.


@Op, your cousin is in a mess. If they are in Nigeria, what's the husband's family saying about the situation? She should get a lawyer (if she can afford it, a very good lawyer) but even if her husband is asked to pay child support, remember this is Nigeria and there is no system in place to force him to pay child support. I hope for her sake and that of her kids, she is financially independent. By the way, in Nigeria, what difference does it really make to have been married in court, church or mosque-asides being the bonafide wife?! If the man wants to abandon his family, there is no law in place to stop him! Best wishes.
N.B- if the house belongs to the man, I.e, not a rented house, ask your lawyer what her chances of keeping the house is or at least staying there until they have a place to move into. I'll suggest she opts for that than child support which cannot be enforced. At least with that, your cousin and her kids will have a roof over their heads!

Nothing stupefies a man in any relationship than YOU calling his bluff! Just tell him thanks! BUT LEAVE THE CHILDREN WITH HIM and exercise VISITATION RIGHTS ONLY!!!! Let HIM BE THE SINGLE PARENT!!!!

Shiooooooooor!!!!

@challotte....I feel u...I too wanna call hi bluff.

@all...thanks. Join me in praying that everything will turn out well in the end.

What are you going to do? Hold on to the door? The best you can do if you want to stay is beg for some reconciliation. But then you will be at his mercy. Depends on how much you want the marriage, and how low you are willing to sink. The depths some people will go to stay married is incredible. So you will not be the only one.But maybe in that time you can love up enough to convince him to do a court wedding, which is quite cheap. I think cheaper than traditional sef. It was a silly thing to be satisfied with traditional alone. If you stick to your pride and let him have his way, odds are he will move on and get remarried, and you will move on and get remarried the right way too. Nothing worse than being with someone who doesnt love you, treats you like sh*it, and doesnt want to be with you. The choice is yours. Try a reconciliation, but dont look desperate. if that fails, well give him what he wants. The guy is not married to you, period. God be with you.

The person he LOVES, is waiting to take your place. next time shine your eyes and go for someone that loves you.

dollypenn: Dear nairalanders,pls help with phone nos of a good lawyer to help cousin as her hubby insists the marriage was not legal as they were only married traditionally...no church or court marriage document

What do you think the lawyer should help with or how do you want the lawyer to help?
To prove that the marraige is legal or child support?
If its the former, which i presume it is, its pointless trying to remain with someone who doesn't want you

if
the hubby pulls thru with his
threat,what will she do?...how will she
start from the scratch

Person say im wan marry another wife and you still think it a threat?
...and what do you mean by "start from scratch"?
Is that relationship-wise or sustainment-wise?