COOLDUN:

Good that your father rejected the guy even before his proposal to your sister, ok let me ask you these few questions: 1: What was your father before he married your mother? Did your mother's father visited his base and office before approving the marriage? 2: Were there no criminals during his youth age? 3: Which hospital is your sister heading as a medical doctor? Which university and grade? 4: Does it mean that a jobless hard working man can not marry anymore? Is there any fixed date for a man not make it in life?

I am not against your father from deciding for your sister, because she herself is a gold digger too, because she was expecting a millionaire husband, she never loved the guy but after his status or physical appearance.If she was in love really your father wouldn't have done anything to stop her from marrying the guy. Many successful men in this world today were no body before eg: Bill Gate dropped out from school to face his job, can any of your generation be compared to him? If he came that time and told your father that he was a school drop out, would your father allow your sister to marry him?

There are a lot of hard working young men who have not yet made it but are busy doing legal business to meet up in life, your father is one of the problems of this generation take it or leave it. Many young and naive men fell to your greedy parents types to claim what they are not just to please the kinds of your father. The only thing that remains permanent in this life is change, nobody today can be somebody tomorrow.

Your father want your sister to marry someone who will steal the people's pension money tomorrow and pay the fine of a change to be freed,while the pensioners die in abject poverty, while he come to your family and spoil you people with blood money and gifts.Your father is looking for a politician who will loot the common wealth of people to come and give him a chieftancy titles in your village and town right. Nonsense.

How sure is your father about the future of your sister new husband? your father and other parents like him are big disgrace to this new generation. Not all the Nigerians in RSA are criminals ok, we have a lot of educated professional successful Nigerians here in all the sexes. Only few Nigerians in RSA are into crime. Many are legal street traders living better than the useless parents that are calling Nigerians in RSA nasty names.

I repeat it again, your father, sister and your entire family are gold diggers, challenge me if you can. The young man who came to marry her was not courageous enough, because there was no love. But demanding for a flight ticket from his daughter's suitor was an act of exploration. Your sister was not matured enough for marriage, also never knew what she needed in a man. She is a materialistic type that was why she fell for your father's greed.

What the reasonable parents prays and wish to their children is good family background, the character of the suitor, and happiness of their children in their matrimonial homes, and not the financial status of the suitors of their children.Some parent are too funny mostly in Nigeria.God help us.

I type with only one finger for now and would give you a very brief answer.

Calling my family gold digger doesn't stop us from doing background check before marriage.
Btw, you sound like a frustrated fellow!

Kpele o! Keep struggling, God will see you throughb

Anu nkpam!

Vikin:

Coogar, there is nothing like trust in this one oh! As far as its marriage, he takes his time to find out about the person family and work relations too.

I don't have any problem showing off my medical records if that's the requirement afterall some churches request for that before getting married. So my dear, if you got nothing to hide, why brother and tremble!

Your father will find out more than what you already know about your spouse?

Can the father know 99% of what his daughter knows about her spouse?

You already know this man you're presenting to your parents . . .you've known him for all these years and suddenly what the father sees after going to the office will "disqualify" the man?

If you're not an 1d1ot, you'll already know what the father is about to find out. It's 2013! Abi you want to tell me you've never been to your spouse's office to see what he does?

If your father is the one that has to go his office to "confirm" for you, then he raised an 1d1ot.

PS: my you's are not necessarily directed at you

Is your friend hiding something? If no, then let him accept if he truly loves the girl. I think he is trying to learn from other peoples mistakes rather than his' own mistake. @vikin, you have said it all. Keep it coming. you are really hitting the nail on the head.

Vikin:

I type with only one finger for now and would give you a very brief answer.

Calling my family gold digger doesn't stop us from doing background check before marriage.
Btw, you sound like a frustrated fellow!

Kpele o! Keep struggling, God will see you throughb

Anu nkpam!

BABE!:


Your father will find out more than what you already know about your spouse?

Can the father know 99% of what his daughter knows about her spouse?

You already know this man you're presenting to your parents . . .you've known him for all these years and suddenly what the father sees after going to the office will "disqualify" the man?

If you're not an 1d1ot, you'll already know what the father is about to find out. It's 2013! Abi you want to tell me you've never been to your spouse's office to see what he does?

If your father is the one that has to go his office to "confirm" for you, then he raised an 1d1ot.

PS: my you's are not necessarily directed at you

Like I said, if you got nothing to hide, why tremble!

By the way, you should also learn how to address people, I can see you are well raised!

Whoever, the " you" is directed to doesn't deserve it!

Na wa o. Some comments here odikwa very serious.

Well, first of all, what kind of business did OP's cousin say he's into?

2nd, by saying he wants to know his future inlaw's office and see what goes on, the girl's father is indirectly saying that he does not trust his daughter's judgement/ common sense as regards choosing a life partner for herself which may be because

1) He raised an absolutely dum.b (ok, insert milder language here) daughter who cannot effectively think for herself and forgot to give her life lessons while she was growing up especially as regards what and what she should look for in a man

OR

2) His daughter is 16 years old.

Either way, it simply points to the fact that he didnt do his job effectively as a parent while she was growing up and now he feels it is the right time to do ''careful daddy''.

I understand the fact that a man has to be concerned about his future inlaw but even if he's not completely certain about a guy, then at the very least, he can make enquiries in a cladenstine manner. I'm sure that'll be even more effective.


Then again, its funny how all you ladies endorsing the man's action will be the same ladies making noise if the man's mother should insist that the girl must get pregnant before marriage. Is this not hypocrisy? & yes, both requests are very similiar afterall, there are so many loose serial abortion veterans who are already womb damaged roaming the streeets with innocent faces looking for a man to come and buy their very wrong market pay their bride price.

Vikin:

Like I said, if you got nothing to hide, why tremble!

By the way, you should also learn how to address people, I can see you are well raised!

Who the f u ck are you?!?! I already told you my you's weren't directed at you!

Was my post about having nothing to hide? Was it about the SIL trembling or about the dad sitting his old self down on a couch?! You're acting like the father is about to find out some deep secret, whereas, the daughter should (if she's not an 1d10t) already know what her spouse does, and she's obviously fine with it.

Speak to me like an 1d1ot again and i'll have your head for lunch!

BABE!:




Who the f u ck are you?!?! I already told you my you's weren't directed at you!

Was my post about having nothing to hide? Was it about the man trembling or about the dad sitting his old arse down a couch?! You're acting like the father is about to find out some deep secret, whereas, the daughter should (if she's not an 1d10t) already know what her spouse does, and she's obviously fine with it.

Speak to me like an 1d1ot again and i'll have your head for lunch!

Next time avoid quoting me if you can't speak like a well-mannered "babe".

I don't discuss with trashy tongues, even online!

My last post to you!

see ya!

Vikin:
Coogar, there is nothing like trust in this one oh! As far as its marriage, he takes his time to find out about the person family and work relations too.

i don't disagree with you. like i said, tests should be conducted on each and everyone of them!

I don't have any problem showing off my medical records if that's the requirement afterall some churches request for that before getting married. So my dear, if you got nothing to hide, why bother and tremble!

i just think the father-in-law has taken it too far by even thinking of such. it then means he cannot trust the judgement of the daughter he raised - if her father cannot trust her judgement then i would be worried to proceed with the marriage.

stillwater: @coogar
I just knew the side of the argument you'd take on. Why shouldn't the father take you at face-value? Where is it written in stone that since you are dating his daughter that he should automatically trust you? Trust is earned not given. The same way you earned your girl's trust, do the same for the father. Even if you were referenced by someone in a company, they would still perform certain checks on you. Why don't you scream for privacy when employers try to prove you are who you say you are?

nigerian women and their hypocrisy.....
if your mother in law insists you get pregnant before marriage you would feel offended. why should she trust you are fertile on face value? trust is earned not given!

https://www.nairaland.com/947848/husband-lied-job

Her Husband Deceived Her:

My little cousin introduced her fiance to us (the Family) in Nov last yr and got married dis Jan. The guy said he works for an oil company at PH. My cousin is a PG student and lives in a one bedroom apartment. The plan was that she would finish her masters in April and relocate to PH to live with her hubby.
However, her husband has been staying with her at her 1 bedroom apartment since after d marriage since he said he was on leave and wanted to be close to his wife.
I just discovered that he was never working at PH but was putting up with a friend who works in an oil company. The guy is actually jobless. Now my cousin is pregnant and just discovered that her husband is jobless. They have now come begging on their knees and asking for a loan to start a business for the husband.
Her father is so pissed off that he says he never wants to set eyes on d husband. I feel insulted for being deceived. Do i raise mny for them? I dnt think d man is responsible and may not pay back. I' m confused and upset. What do y'all think?

double wahala for dead bodi

Vikin:

Next time avoid quoting me if you can't speak like a well-mannered "babe".

I don't discuss with trashy tongues, even online!

My last post to you!

see ya!

You're a reta--rd! You're in urgent need of an adult english/reading class. Dumb broad. "My yous weren't directed at you", I wrote that with a damn cheesy smiley at end, and it still wasn't enough. You want me to kneel? address you as my highness? F u ck your life!

Good you're running. I was about to fry your eyes.

Vikin, your father will find out more than what you already know about your spouse?

Can the father know 99% of what his daughter knows about her spouse?

Vikin, you already know this man you're presenting to your parents . . .you've known him for all these years and suddenly what your father sees after going to the office will "disqualify" the man?

If you're not an 1d1ot, you'll already know what the father is about to find out. It's 2013! Abi you want to tell me you've never been to your spouse's office to see what he does?

Vikiin, if your father is the one that has to go his office to "confirm" for you, then he raised an 1d1ot.

PS: my you's were directed at you

Read and weep!

coogar:

by the same token, where's the trust? why would a father-in-law not trust me via face value? follow me to my place of work to find out if i am employed? after then what else? spërm motility test? psych evaluation? that's arrant nonsense!

ok, let's flip the script, how many of today's women would follow their mother in law to a clinic to have a virginity test or fertility test?.......by the same token, there are lots of women who have done multiple abortions with their wombs completely removed.....

using your own words, i wouldn't blame any mother in law trying to know who her son is getting married to cos there are plenty of damaged goods out there in today's world! if women have nothing to hide, they should follow their mother in law to such clinics and have the test.


i rest my case!

ON POINT jare.

so sweet of the ol' man.
who want shuffer for marriage? it should be enjoyed not endured. The father is crossing all the 't' and making sure

I would have saved dad the trouble by doing the 'checking' myself.

a guy with head on his shoulder is what we pray for. if the shoulder no strong it can't carry the head.

spot on dad!

BABE!:


He wants to make sure his daughter doesn't fall Into wrong hand? And going into his future SIL's office for a few hours will rule out the possibility that the SIL is wife beater, a serial killer, a cheat, a sterile bloke??

If you really really want to make sure your daughter is in the right hand, you think going sitting in an office and staring at people is the way to go about it ?? In short, you can't know these things for sure. Your daughter knows best! She may even be the one hiding things from you(the father).

The dad is hungry! or he's being over protective like you claim but he's going about it the wrong way. . . common sense and decorum should be applied here. There's should be a balance! The two adults planing on getting married are grown! . .except he raised an idîôt, ike someone said earlier.

Its like some nairalanders will gladly be with a wealthy serial cheat and wife beater than with a caring well mannered focused not so wealthy man.

How visiting his office to see what goes there can guarantee his daughter's happiness still beats me o.

Anyone for water melon ?

Vikin: Anyone for water melon ?

You're a serial 1d1ot. Grow the balls to quote me and you'll regret ever registering on Nairaland.

Find Out!:


Its like some nairalanders will gladly be with a wealthy serial cheat and wife beater than with a caring well mannered focused not so wealthy man.

How visiting his office to see what goes there can guarantee his daughter's happiness still beats me o.

If the man going to the office will bring out facts that no one(especially his daughter) knows about his SIL, then fine.

But like you said, what is the purpose of a few hours visit to the SIL's office?

I don't know why some parents think they have super powers to declare a suitor unsuitable.

The daughter's loyalty lies with her spouse! She knows more than they'll ever know. Fact is, she'll be one hiding things from her parents.

So all these women shinning teeth here and saying "there are many wolves in sheep clothing" are raising red flags.

If the father's visit to the SIL will bring out facts that the daughter doesn't know after all these years/while of being with her lover, then she's not even fit to get married. If anyone is waiting for their dad to "reveal the wolf" then marriage should be the last thing on their to-do list.

stillwater: Like I would care if MIL wants to perform fertility test. Infact I'd drive her to the hospital myself. I probably would have done the tests with her son, long before she even insinuates such.
Marriage is serious business!

GOOD! Shows that you have sense. Same should also apply in this case. The lady too should have gone to the guy's office enough times to know what goes on there. She should have listened to him talk about work enough times to know what he does. If he doesnt like talking about work at home, she should have asked him. But then these days, you have sooo many stu.pi.d unfocused d.umb girls who only care to discuss Kim Kardashian and Tonto Dikeh even when the husband tries to bring up topics relating to what happened at work. Therefore, such du.mb girls will have to resort to thier dads asking to do what they should ordinarily have done.

Your post still concurs (even if unknowingly) with Coogar's and my earlier posts.

Vikin: Anyone for water melon ?

Lmao! That picture is disturbing and cute at the same time. Love your approach to the online bullying though!

ileobatojo:

Lmao! That picture is disturbing and cute at the same time. Love your approach to the online bullying though!

Still hurting? Awwwww.

Ileobatoso, life sucks uhn?

Approach to the online bullying? F u cking reta--rds. Better start writing your suicide notes.

BABE!:


Ileobatojo, don't you just secretly wish you were a housewife?
Lounging with your kid/s? Having a good time with them? Have your whole life centered around them? Don't you just wish you have that luxury to worry less about when your next pay check will emerge, because its all about your kids? Arggh!

Life sucks, doesn't it ?!
Not everyone will have the iPhone5, some will be stuck with Nokia3310 till Jesus comes, but at least, lets be honest with ourselves.
If you keep basking in your "my nokia3310 is better than an iphone5", the dude next door that had the plan to give you an iphone5 as a gift will change his mind, because he'll think you don't want it, meanwhile na lie. . .

Nigerians and their "ako"!!

The search light should be on everybody (both families). Marriage involves two persons / families (especially for those who believe in one man, one woman).
The prospective father in-law (even though suspicious) should have been more covert than overt. Such fathers should also subject their daughter(s) to be investigated by their prospective in-laws to balance the equation. Some of them (fathers) may also be amazed by the outcome of such investigations on their daughters/family.

ileobatojo:

Lmao! That picture is disturbing and cute at the same time. Love your approach to the online bullying though!

Lol.... Some people love the attention of trying to feel like one online. For all I care, they might be a sick fellow typing away their sorrow and trying to feel good! Nothing going on for them, but come ranting online.

I type with only one finger and no intention to change that all because I want to show some weird character online!

They know their type, I don't succumb to it, if you don't like my opinion and can't discuss like an adult, I have no time wasting on such fellow. I just ignore them!

Meanwhile, the melon is finished o! Wil get some other refreshment!

who wants to have to take care of one's daughter after she gets married?

would anyone be happy in such a situation?

a relative had this exact issue - the guy she brought home had mad money - but no one could figure how the guy was making his money. long and short of it, the girl married the guy, and not very long after,the guy got busted by NDLEA. they locked up the guy, impounded the house, everything. the girl's folks had to house her somewhere and start paying the kids school fees.

back in the day parents used to do extensive background checks into the families their kids were marrying into - no one wanted any surprises down the line

Vikin:

Lol.... Some people love the attention of trying to feel like one online. For all I care, they might be a sick fellow typing away their sorrow and trying to feel good! Nothing going on for them, but come ranting online.

I type with only one finger and no intention to change that all because I want to show some weird character online!

They know their type, I don't succumb to it, if you don't like my opinion and can't discuss like an adult, I have no time wasting on such fellow. I just ignore them!

Meanwhile, the melon is finished o! Wil get some other refreshment!

Motherf u cker, you sure you don't have the time for me? This is you crying, you know. You're already writing epistles and eulogies and I haven't even done anything. Pathetic and laughable. What the french is "some people"? You scared to be bullied?

You're in for it. You WILL be bullied. Next time you see me, you run!

oyb: who wants to have to take care of one's daughter after she gets married?

would anyone be happy in such a situation?

a relative had this exact issue - the guy she brought home had mad money - but no one could figure how the guy was making his money. long and short of it, the girl married the guy, and not very long after,the guy got busted by NDLEA. they locked up the guy, impounded the house, everything. the girl's folks had to house her somewhere and start paying the kids school fees.

back in the day parents used to do extensive background checks into the families their kids were marrying into - no one wanted any surprises down the line

The "a relative" didn't know what the husband was doing for a living?

Time for family engagement!

No time for cyber riff-rafts chasing my a.r.s.e.e.e!

BABE!:

If the father's visit to the SIL will bring out facts that the daughter doesn't know after all these years/while of being with her lover, then she's not even fit to get married. If anyone is waiting for their dad to "reveal the wolf" then marriage should be the last thing out to-do list.

As in ehn, the more I think about the matter and read responses of those in support, the more it doesnt make any sense to me.

Now let us assume that the father is the type who always likes to check things out himself or/and is overly protective. In that case, a time will definitely come that even he will admit that, ''ok, well, this girl is old enough''. Then he sits the girl down in private and asks her critical reasonable questions, if the girl is even unable to provide satisfactory answers, all he has to do is tell her that ''look here young lady, this is a move that can make or mar the rest of your life, you need to go and do your homework more. Find out about this and this and get back to me before I give my approval''. If the girl is smart (& not a dumb brazillian hair twitter only no brains kinda girl), then she must be able to get those answers.

If the man is still curious, then he can make some cladenstine enquiries on his own (thats what our grandparents used to do), without of course embarassing his son in law or make him feel unworthy.

Many women out there too are scammers and gold diggers na who seek to get married to rich guys just to ''end the poverty line in the family'' and to train their younger ones through school. Should a rich guy's rich dad also seek to know what his future daughter in law does for a living and ask if all her parents can afforf to train her siblings without placing burdens o their son?! Yeah, even the asking of such question ALONE is embarassing!

Most responses on NL here simply prove that some women can choose to be rational when they feel like it and choose to be biased when it appears convenient for them. Na the guys i pity sha, coz i wont be surprised if many guys supporting the request here won't find it funny if such request is made to them by a future father in law, even though they are clearly planning how to render same treatment to their own future sons in law when the time comes.lol

BABE!:

If the father's visit to the SIL will bring out facts that the daughter doesn't know after all these years/while of being with her lover, then she's not even fit to get married. If anyone is waiting for their dad to "reveal the wolf" then marriage should be the last thing out to-do list.

As in ehn, the more I think about the matter and read responses of those in support, the more it doesnt make any sense to me.

Now let us assume that the father is the type who always likes to check things out himself or/and is overly protective. In that case, a time will definitely come that even he will admit that, ''ok, well, this girl is old enough''. Then he sits the girl down in private and asks her critical reasonable questions, if the girl is even unable to provide satisfactory answers, all he has to do is tell her that ''look here young lady, this is a move that can make or mar the rest of your life, you need to go and do your homework more. Find out about this and this and get back to me before I give my approval''. If the girl is smart (& not a dumb brazillian hair twitter only no brains kinda girl), then she must be able to get those answers.

If the man is still curious, then he can make some cladenstine enquiries on his own (thats what our grandparents used to do), without of course embarassing his son in law or make him feel unworthy.

Many women out there too are scammers and gold diggers na who seek to get married to rich guys just to ''end the poverty line in the family'' and to train their younger ones through school. Should a rich guy's rich dad also seek to know what his future daughter in law does for a living and ask if all her parents can afforf to train her siblings without placing burdens o their son?! Yeah, even the asking of such question ALONE is embarassing!

Most responses on NL here simply prove that some women can choose to be rational when they feel like it and choose to be biased when it appears convenient for them. Na the guys i pity sha, coz i wont be surprised if many guys supporting the request here won't find it funny if such request is made to them by a future father in law, even though they are clearly planning how to render same treatment to their own future sons in law when the time comes.lol

Vikin: Time for family engagement!

No time for cyber riff-rafts chasing my a.r.s.e.e.e!

More like it. I'm taunting you already? You just can't help but comment?

Listen sweety, bullying is a gradual process. I'm glad i'm already suceeding. Soliloquizing is a sign that you're succumbing. I'm getting to you. Your tone has also changed. You were sister mary a while ago, now you're gangsta; another sign of success.

Senile f o ol.

Find Out!:

Most responses on NL here simply prove that some women can choose to be rational when they feel like it and choose to be biased when it appears convenient for them.

This!

coogar:

nigerian women and their hypocrisy.....
if your mother in law insists you get pregnant before marriage you would feel offended. why should she trust you are fertile on face value? trust is earned not given!

Face value? I have a doctor's diagnosis (who is a professional) to show I am fertile. What is your proof you are working? Mouth? Crude means like getting pregnant is not even substantial. Who is to say the baby is yours? Who is to say me as a 'Nigerian woman' have not done some abracadabra? Doctor's report would forever trump crude means of proving myself. Besides your analogies are all over the place. Now let me show you how to compare/ make analogies. If your mama ask I get pregnant, then my papa should insist he sees and measure your pe-nis to determine if you can maintain an erec-tion, satisfy his daughter and prove you are very capable. If my dad asks to see your office, tell your people to ask to see my own office. Simple!

What kind of folks do you people have? checking genitaliaa ewwww

stillwater:

Face value? I have a doctor's diagnosis (who is a professional) to show I am fertile. What is your proof you are working? Mouth? Crude means like getting pregnant is not even substantial. Who is to say the baby is yours? Who is to say me as a 'Nigerian woman' have not done some abracadabra? Doctor's report would forever trump crude means of proving myself. Besides your analogies are all over the place. Now let me show you how to compare/ make analogies. If your mama ask I get pregnant, then my papa should insist he sees and measure your pe-nis to determine if you can maintain an erec-tion, satisfy his daughter and prove you are very capable. If my dad asks to see your office, tell your people to ask to see my own office. Simple!

don't even bother yourself with that....
you would have reported my sexual prowess to your father even before i show my face......you would have told him my medieval methods of bonking a woman! trust me, that won't be an issue to discuss at all!

wonlasewonimi: What kind of folks do you people have? checking genitaliaa ewwww

welcome to the new world!
i agree all tests should be done - especially all those obese naija chics with hearts that are overheating - these women are all quarter to die. so checking employment record is the tip of the iceberg. i would be checking liver, blood, lungs, heart, ovary, fallopian tubes, fibroid, etc. you can't be too careful these days - fake people everywhere!

coogar:

don't even bother yourself with that....
you would have reported my sexual prowess to your father even before i show my face......you would have told him my medieval methods of bonking a woman! trust me, that won't be an issue to discuss at all!

Hehehe, na lie. You must prove it to him. Where's my ruler?

oyb: who wants to have to take care of one's daughter after she gets married?

would anyone be happy in such a situation?

a relative had this exact issue - the guy she brought home had mad money - but no one could figure how the guy was making his money. long and short of it, the girl married the guy, and not very long after,the guy got busted by NDLEA. they locked up the guy, impounded the house, everything. the girl's folks had to house her somewhere and start paying the kids school fees.

back in the day parents used to do extensive background checks into the families their kids were marrying into - no one wanted any surprises down the line

Bros Oyb, na your relative get problem. Serious problem. & your relative's parents too. How could they open their eyes and allow thier daughter marry a man she (not they) did not know his source of income? Even if the guy pointed at one or two ''businesses'', could she not apply her sense to know that those businesses couldnt be bringing in that sort of money? Now, it wouldnt have made sense for your relative's dad to ask to know the guy's office. What would have made sense was for him to TELL HIS DAUGHTER to explain to him EXACTLY what the guy SHE WANTS TO MARRY does for a living.

Now good you mentioned our grandparents. Well, i'm young but not too young to know that the background checks they conducted back then were usually done in a 'coded'/cladenstine manner and even usually through 3rd parties. Yes, 3rd parties such as the bride to be's uncle/sisters husband or even one of the ''iyawo-ile'' as in the case of the man's family as well.

No one is against conducting background checks but asking/demanding(even if subtly) to spend some time in your son in law's office is just somehow bro.


The man for even apply wisdom. Go towards the son-in-law's offoce one day, call him up and be like ''my boy, how are you, how's work? I came to (mention a place close to his office) so I felt i should just call you up and say hi. Are you free for a brief chat at the office?....'' If the dude says he's not (who can say that?lol), then he can be like ''oh, no problem, the people at that place asked me to come back tomorrow so maybe tomorrow then....'' * if tomorrow comes and potential SIL says he's still too busy to see FIL, then FIL is well within his rights to start seeing signs of a red flag in his brain*

Of course, if the son in law is smart, he'll suspect that papa's original intention might have been to come to the office in the first place but he felt it would be rude (it actually is) to demand that he be granted a visit. That's wisdom!

Rotflmao! But really though, going to check where your child's prospective works and focusing on money, doesn't earn respect for the wives family at all. So when he loses that sweet job nko? It just doesn't look good at all. My brother's can never marry into such sha. Lai lai. My dad would never have done such cause it kinda suggests the family can be bought by anyone with the right job or cash. When really it is the man's attitude and his view on life and marriage that should matter. An inlaw should be respected and have this air of mystery and wisdom to where my husband will listen everytime my dad talks. If my dad does this,Would I blame my spouse if he disrespects my family in the future? Nope. Ahn ahn, when the two involved are not in kindergarten.