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fellis:
She should know that you're in charge of the marriage? So you will not even consider your wife's opinions when you get married?

I will consider some but she should just know I'm in charge.

Fulani BOII: I will consider some but she should just know I'm in charge.

You will consider some and disregard others?
Lol, marriage doesn't work that way o
You have to cooperate with your spouse in all matters that concern the two of you if you don't want to turn them to a bitter and angry person that would turn your home into hell on earth.
You would only fully understand these things when you get married, all this one wey you talk na just to make mouth

fellis:
You will consider some and disregard others?
Lol, marriage doesn't work that way o
You have to cooperate with your spouse in all matters that concern the two of you if you don't want to turn them to a bitter and angry person that would turn your home into hell on earth.
You would only fully understand these things when you get married, all this one wey you talk na just to make mouth

Actually i just dey make mouth. About the naming thing I believe it should be an agreement between the couple. I see no problem with last name, it is not something worth causing wahala for house.

Fulani BOII: Actually i just dey make mouth. About the naming thing I believe it should be an agreement between the couple. I see no problem with last name, it is not something worth causing wahala for house.

Cool

DC-ONE:
hey im a muslim my real name is yusuf muhammed z..i just have broad mind...i ll answer her tommorow sleep dey catch me now...una Good nite. Shout out to kilmix...abeg let them know the koko...

Regards Bro

fellis: Kim should not change her last name to Kanye's last name.
She is not his daughter neither is she his property so why should she discard her last name for his?
Rubbish.
I don't even know where this nauseating culture of women throwing away their father's name came from. It is neither in the Bible nor the Qur'an and I don't know of any traditional religion that endorses it so why are people still taking it serious?
A man would sweat and suffer to train his daughter from kindergarten to university then when she marries she just tosses his name and starts bearing the name of another person that did not and will never be able to add to her life as much as her father did.
What an idiotic culture.

See MADNESS

fellis:

I see.
I am not a Christian so I don't really agree with this but I understand where you're coming from.



Nigerian men don't want to lose the position of superiority that has been bestowed on them culturally and that is why you see them getting worked up and overreacting when any female starts speaking the truth about how no gender is superior or inferior to the other.
I understand; giving up a favoured position is not easy
I expect their offensive comments and I am not in the least bothered by them.

My Dear gender superiority is not peculiar to Nigeria.
In fact, in Britain under the Shakespearean and Elizabethan Literature, women were not allowed to act in their dramas in theatres. In Romeo and Juliet, a man acted as Juliet at that time .. Men were costumed as women.
Even in the Land of Freedom, America, there has never been a Female President.
Male superiority was not created by Man. It is in the ordering of things(State of Nature).
Am not against women treated equally with men.

The Matrimonial Causes Act LFN 1990 would be helpful as it relates to a married woman changing her last name to that of the husband.

ayztech: kai...who be this fellis? you too go school o.

I like Fellis. Very SMART and Intelligent. I'm still not on her side.

kilmix:

My Dear gender superiority is not peculiar to Nigeria.
In fact, in Britain under the Shakespearean and Elizabethan Literature, women were not allowed to act in their dramas in theatres. In Romeo and Juliet, a man acted as Juliet at that time .. Men were costumed as women. Has this position changed till this era? NO. Till this moment a female has never been a Prime Minister in UK.
Even in the Land of Freedom, America, there has never been a Female President.
Male superiority was not created by Man. It is in the ordering of things(State of Nature).
Am not against women treated equally with men.

The Matrimonial Causes Act LFN 1990 would be helpful as it relates to a married woman changing her last name to that of the husband.

Emmm... Margret Thatcher was what? Health minister in Nigeria? Don't talk about what you don't know.

Male superiority is completely man-made. In as much women may not be as strong physically,there deserve every iota of respect.

kilmix:

My Dear gender superiority is not peculiar to Nigeria.
In fact, in Britain under the Shakespearean and Elizabethan Literature, women were not allowed to act in their dramas in theatres. In Romeo and Juliet, a man acted as Juliet at that time .. Men were costumed as women.
Even in the Land of Freedom, America, there has never been a Female President.
Male superiority was not created by Man. It is in the ordering of things(State of Nature).
Am not against women treated equally with men.

The Matrimonial Causes Act LFN 1990 would be helpful as it relates to a married woman changing her last name to that of the husband.

Which State of Nature?
Who stopped these women from acting? Angels?

bukatyne:

Which State of Nature?
Who stopped these women from acting? Angels?

State of Nature refers to how things were created.(Which ever way you think life came into existence).
I quoted her on the issue of Women not allowed to act in Britain when @fellis referred to Nigerian men.

DC-ONE:
@fellis now i see the level of your I.Q...lol....damn you are soo retarded...lwkmd....you need to have you cranium checked...arguing with you is just a waste of time...i dont know what men have done to you in you life maybe your boyfriend or your husband..(dats if you have one)....if i were you i would let it go and get the load out of my chest...lol...by the way if you dont know,man was created from dust and a woman was created from the rib of a man (Adam) in the Garden of Eden while he was sleeping...im not saying that women are not very important but the natural law is that the male folks would always be the head..there is nothing you can do about it...either you take it or not...you cant change it....lol........YOU HAVE NOT STILL ANSWER MY 3rd QUESTION,IF YOU DONT I WONT REPLY ANY OF YOUR COMMENT....angry feminist...lol...go change yourself.....i laugh outt...peace out loser....Lol

First of all am a dude..and I think you are the one with a low IQ for having to result to name calling when she was flooring you with intelligent and articulate argument..you started with good points but you are no mor making them..am loving the debate but please keep it articulate and intelligent not showing you have run out of points and start insulting her..as for Fellis,if there was a place in the bible or Koran that says it am sure the church will be strict on it,however its just a case of unification,so the man,wife and kids can bear the same surname..Its a simple tradition and nothing more..If you decide to go by it,its your choice but whatever happens the man and wife should discuss it before the marriage and I strongly believe its wrong for the kids to bear the woman's name. that's my personal opinion..

Common, I know yu re all doing the women right and all that but seriously we try and do things the way they are to be done.......everyone knows of course dat what a man can do some women can do much better but in dis case, a woman adopting his husband name shouldn't be a case for arguments at all........and by the way it's not only in Nigeria that things are done dat way. If you think after all the pains, sweat yur father invested on you, you kinda feel guilty about adopting your hubb's name then ask your dad he'll let you know he's proud of it cuz he did just that once with your mom....and that's it should be......stop the dumb argument pls fellis

fellis:

Look, I am not saying these things because any man is oppressing me or because I hate men, I only speak the truth.
If you think anything I have said is false then kindly point it out to me.

fellis:

Look, I am not saying these things because any man is oppressing me or because I hate men, I only speak the truth.
If you think anything I have said is false then kindly point it out to me.

Morayo747: I can tell you are really a weirdo. Its so all the members of a nuclear family can all have the same last name!!!
Mathew 19:5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? What part of this don't you understand

So why can't the husband take the wife's name? Kane West can become Kanye Kardashian and all their kids will have the same surname.

kilmix:

State of Nature refers to how things were created.(Which ever way you think life came into existence).
I quoted her on the issue of Women not allowed to act in Britain when @fellis referred to Nigerian men.

You have not answered my question:
Do you mean God by State of Nature?

See tittos or what ever you call your self...i know you want my attention and i wont give it to you... i dont care if you are G.E.J or obama...this post was one of my first post...i and @fellis are not quarelling and i never called you any name SO DONT START WHAT YOU CAN NOT END...you dont know me like that...shay you hear

Tittos:
First of all am a dude..and I think you are the one with a low IQ for having to result to name calling when she was flooring you with intelligent and articulate argument..you started with good points but you are no mor making them..am loving the debate but please keep it articulate and intelligent not showing you have run out of points and start insulting her..as for Fellis,if there was a place in the bible or Koran that says it am sure the church will be strict on it,however its just a case of unification,so the man,wife and kids can bear the same surname..Its a simple tradition and nothing more..If you decide to go by it,its your choice but whatever happens the man and wife should discuss it before the marriage and I strongly believe its wrong for the kids to bear the woman's name. that's my personal opinion..

kilmix:

My Dear gender superiority is not peculiar to Nigeria.
In fact, in Britain under the Shakespearean and Elizabethan Literature, women were not allowed to act in their dramas in theatres. In Romeo and Juliet, a man acted as Juliet at that time .. Men were costumed as women.
Even in the Land of Freedom, America, there has never been a Female President.
Male superiority was not created by Man. It is in the ordering of things(State of Nature).
Am not against women treated equally with men.

The Matrimonial Causes Act LFN 1990 would be helpful as it relates to a married woman changing her last name to that of the husband.

This is a rather stupid thing to say. How can you use the laws of Britain under the elizabethan and shakespearan rule to buttress your point? Are you alright?
Under the elizabethan era in Great Britain, black people were not allowed to marry white people, it was illegal/punishable for people of colour to marry white people, that law was only abolished as recently as 1965 by the race relations act.
Does that mean it is natural for black people to be discriminated against and segregated? Do we determine what is natural and unnatural by looking at what great britain outlawed in the elizabethan era?
Mtshew.
There is no gender superiority or inferiority, deal with it.

Boboye4slim: Common, I know yu re all doing the women right and all that but seriously we try and do things the way they are to be done.......everyone knows of course dat what a man can do some women can do much better but in dis case, a woman adopting his husband name shouldn't be a case for arguments at all........and by the way it's not only in Nigeria that things are done dat way. If you think after all the pains, sweat yur father invested on you, you kinda feel guilty about adopting your hubb's name then ask your dad he'll let you know he's proud of it cuz he did just that once with your mom....and that's it should be......stop the dumb argument pls fellis

Why is it obligatory for women to throw their family names away and bear their husband's names when women are not inferior to men? Why can't they both hyphenate their names or why can't they both come up with a new name?
The culture of women bearing husbands' names started because women were regarded as possessions that could not have identities of their own, they were identified with the names of whatever male they lived with, maybe their father or husband. We have become more enlightened and educated as human beings and we now know that females are actually human and not possessions so why should we uphold that culture that degrades women and takes them lower than the level of human beings?
Why should we uphold laws that were made with the intent to carry out gender discrimination against women?
You men blindly advocate women changing their names after marriage because you are not the ones affected by it, you don't understand what it truly means to change your family name and start bearing the name of someone else's family.
There are professional and personal consequences to changing one's name. In the internet age, all the work you did under your previous name isn't going to show up in a google search, a name change means a new driver's license, international passport, professional documentation etc. It means if someone is trying to track you down, maybe a former client or an old classmate, or a co worker with an interesting work opportunity for you, it means these people are likely to never find you because you have a different name from when they knew you before.
There is also the fact that women start to develop an attitude of psychological dependence on men because of the change of name thing.
But that is probably what you want to happen anyway, for women to feel helpless and hapless and to feel psychologically dependent on you.

Tittos:
I strongly believe its wrong for the kids to bear the woman's name. that's my personal opinion..

The only reason you have for strongly believing it is wrong for children to bear their mothers' names is because your bible says so. If I ask you to give me logical reasons outside the bible for having that belief, you will never be able to do it.

chukkynwob:


Male superiority is completely man-made. In as much women may not be as strong physically,there deserve every iota of respect.

Thanks for this, I believe men also deserve every iota of respect. Whether we are dealing with males or females, we should try to show respect to each other.

I don't see why it is so difficult for people to understand something as simple as this, I cannot simply point at any agbero in a bus stop and tell you he is superior to Diezani Allison for instance just because he is male and she is female.

fellis:
I don't see why it is so difficult for people to understand something as simple as this, I cannot simply point at any agbero in a bus stop and tell you he is superior to Diezani Allison for instance just because he is male and she is female.

SMH you are cofusing yourself @fellie...what are you thinking....how are you thinking....how can you say an odinary man on the street is superior to another mans wife when there is no string attaching them....(i curve my mouth and shake my head).,.We are all equal in the eyes of the lord....but when the woman leaves her fathers house and get into her matrimonial home her husband becomes her new father,..she becomes submissive to him and he becomes the head of the family,..they work together as one.

DC-ONE:
SMH you are cofusing yourself @fellie...what are you thinking....how are you thinking....how can you say an odinary man on the street is superior to another mans wife when there is no string attaching them....(i curve my mouth and shake my head).,.We are all equal in the eyes of the lord....but when the woman leaves her fathers house and get into her matrimonial home her husband becomes her new father,..she becomes submissive to him and he becomes the head of the family,..they work together as one.

Crap.
So assuming Diezani marries the agbero that means he automatically becomes superior to her inspite of her acheivements and intelligence?
Why should men be the leaders by default? Is there some kind of test to show that the man has leadership qualities and is fit to lead the home? What if the wife is smarter than him, has better planning skills or is better at decision making generally? These are important qualities that a good leader should possess and most women are better at these things than their husbands yet they are supposed to let their husbands have the last say because he is male. Whether he knows anything about leadership or not is not anybody's concern.
He is the husband, therefore he is now superior to his wife.

Anyway, at least you have agreed that there is nothing like gender superiority or inferiority and that is a step in the right direction.

I am pleased

fellis:
This is a rather stupid thing to say. How can you use the laws of Britain under the elizabethan and shakespearan rule to buttress your point? Are you alright?
Under the elizabethan era in Great Britain, black people were not allowed to marry white people, it was illegal/punishable for people of colour to marry white people, that law was only abolished as recently as 1965 by the race relations act.
Does that mean it is natural for black people to be discriminated against and segregated? Do we determine what is natural and unnatural by looking at what great britain outlawed in the elizabethan era?
Mtshew.
There is no gender superiority or inferiority, deal with it.

Maybe if you read in-between lines you'll understand better people's point. Instead of heating up a base less and frivolous argument... I only used Britain(Elizabethan) to buttress the point that it does not only happen in Nigeria when you asserted that "Nigerian men don't want to lose the position of superiority that has been bestowed on them culturally".

SECTION 46 of the 1999 Constitution of FRN (as amended) provides that if any of your Right has been contravened, apply to a Court(High Court).

So Lady Superiority, my advice is: ask a guy out(woo him), take care of his needs (hair,cream etc) ask of his hand in Marriage(Propose Marriage), pay his Bride Price, take him to your house, change his last name to yours before you come here to argue aimlessly.
Gracias.

kilmix:
Maybe if you read in-between lines you'll understand better people's point. Instead of heating up a base less and frivolous argument... I only used Britain(Elizabethan) to buttress the point that it does not only happen in Nigeria when you asserted that "Nigerian men don't want to lose the position of superiority that has been bestowed on them culturally".

The fact that gender discrimination was allowed in Britain centuries ago does not mean it is the natural way of life.
End of.

So Lady Superiority,

You are misunderstanding me, I never said that women are superior to men or that I am superior to men,

my advice is: ask a guy out(woo him), take care of his needs (hair,cream etc) ask of his hand in Marriage(Propose Marriage), pay his Bride Price, take him to your house, change his last name to yours before you come here to argue aimlessly.
Gracias.

lol
You sound upset
I am not arguing aimlessly mister, I am saying it like it is.
There is no gender superiority or inferiority and your owning a pënis does not make you automatically better than all the women on earth.
The reason why men do the wooing and buying of things in relationships is because it is the culture of the society we live in. How we act, the things we accept as normal and the things we discard as abnormal are all shaped by the culture our society.
If tomorrow it became the fad for women to ask guys out and buy them things, then more women would do such. Right now these things are expected of the men and women would be frowned on if they carried out these acts so more men do them than women. It doesn't mean that it is wrong for women to woo men and buy them things and it doesn't mean that men are superior to women because they do these things. It is just the expected behavior and it is going to change in future because cultures change with time. Some years ago, bethroting children that were not old enough to give their consent was the norm and people did it without finding anything wrong with it, a 12year old girl marrying a man of 50 was also acceptable in the past but these things have changed and nowadays they would be frowned on.
So you see, men wooing women and doing more of the buying in relationships is just a cultural phase, it doesn't imply gender superiority.

Let me also add that this cultural phase I speak of only came about because people were living under the erroneous belief that men are superior to women and the trend will change soon seeing as how more people are becoming aware that no gender is superior or inferior to the other.

@fellis

Unless you an Atheist, this will help...

The Bible
1Cor (11:3)- "...the husband is supreme over his wife..." (Good News Bible)

The Qur'an:

Qur'an (4:34) - "Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them."

Qur'an (2:228) - "and the men are a degree above them"

Qur'an (33:33) - "And abide quietly in your homes..."  Women are confined to their homes except when they have permission to go out.

Qur'an (2:223) - "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will." Wives are to be s*xually available to their husbands in all ways at all times.  They serve their husbands at his command.
 
From the Hadith:

 Bukhari (88:219) - "Never will succeed such a nation as makes a woman their ruler."  

Bukhari (2:28) - Ingratitude toward her husband (ie. disobedience) can land a woman in Hell. 

 Bukhari (72:715) - A charming little tale in which a woman seeks Muhammad's help in leaving an abusive marriage, but is ordered by the prophet to return to her husband and submit to his commands.

Bukhari (4:149) - Muhammad's wives are even trained to defecate on his command.

 Bukhari (48:826) - Women have a deficiency of intelligence, meaning that their decisions will not be comparable to a man's.

 Bukhari (58:125) - Women are tradable commodities.  A Muslim with two wives offers a fellow Muslim his pick between the two.  Muhammad then arranges a wedding banquet.

@kilmix, are u a muslim or christian?
Please I would like you to answer this question.

@your post, If you notice, everything I posted on this thread was not based on any religion, it was based on common sense, what we reason with our brains as human beings.
If you want to bring religion into the matter then just let me know whether you are a muslim or christian in your next post so that I will know how to address you.
Please reply soon. Thanks.

I hope kilmix hasn't run away in fear. . . . .

fellis: @kilmix, are u a muslim or christian?
Please I would like you to answer this question.

I know I got you there.
I am a Christian... I did my research well I guess.
I took you through the Historical view, now I've given you religious back up. Let me know if you want the Legal perspective of the argument...

@your post, If you notice, everything I posted on this thread was not based on any religion, it was based on common sense, what we reason with our brains as human beings.
If you want to bring religion into the matter then just let me know whether you are a muslim or christian in your next post so that I will know how to address you.
Please reply soon. Thanks

In the tackling this part I'll refer you to my earlier post on State of Nature... All men are subject to a Superior being(God, Allah, Hindu, Shintu etc) as such all our thoughts are geared towards submission to this Superior Being. When ever we find ourselves in a confused state, we turn to the words of this Superior Being. So it's not out of place to argue in line with religion...Even in Law, Religion is a good back up for arguments.

I quoted Qu'ran because earlier on your Post, you mentioned that Islam does not support gender superiority.

Lastly, for your argument to be Valid and Accepted, it must be backed up...

fellis: If you notice, everything I posted on this thread was not based on any religion, it was based on common sense, what we reason with our brains as human beings.

And what makes you think your sense is the Most Common here. Base your assertion on Facts and not mere reasoning... Everyone is entitled to his reasons, but not all reasoning will hold sway. If you like bring Heaven Down here...When you are Married you'll change your last name to that of your Husband's. So brace yourself on that unwanted task.