Marriage means to get someone help you cope with all the problems you never had when you were a bachelor.

A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word".

His friend: "What is the word?"

The man: "I am sorry. Forgive me"

During the first year of marriage, the husband speaks and the wife hears.

During the second year, the wife speaks and the husband hears.

During the third year both of them speak, but only the neighbours hear

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married, but then it was too late,

When a newly wedded man is happy, we understand why. When a man, after ten years of marriage, is happy, we don't understand why. It's all a question of time!

Chicken is the only animal we eat before it is borne and after it is dead.

I hope you're not seeing double now??

all hail sam milla "the baba of dem all"

good sets of jokes.

RULES OF ASO ROCK. THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT HOUSE

If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for.
Don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
There is always one more criminal than you counted on.
An honest answer can get you into a lot of trouble.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
"NO" is only an interim response.
You can't kill a bad idea.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
The truth is a variable.
A promise is not a guarrantee

Can a teacher give a homeless man homework?

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the
happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping
it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why
is the groom wearing black?"

Thats thoughtful but correct me if I am wrong, I thought that the white gown symbolises purity

every body is entitled to his own opinion don't u think?

@poster u rock man keep it comin

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once=

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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

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Inside every older Woman is a young girl wondering what happened.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays ,live the longest.

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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip!
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Grandma, is it exciting being 99?
It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.


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I'm not 99 and i'm dead. You just killed me with laughter.
You're so cool.

nice posts

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

My friend said that i am nobody. If nobody is perfect, and I'm a nobody, am I perfect?

A FINE is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a FINE for doing well.

If moths are attracted to bright lights, how come they sleep during the day?

I love being married. It’s so great to find thatspecial person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Anyone who thinks he is too small to make a difference has never been in bed with a mosquito.

I wear my wife’s glasses because she wants me to see things her way.

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.