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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Best Way To Correct Children (11024 Views)
I Tried To Correct Her, What I Got Were Three Slaps, Husband Tells Court / Is This The Best Way To Correct A Child Misconduct? / Best Way to Punish Kids? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Best Way To Correct Children by MMM2(m): 2:18pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Lock d kid in d police station |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 2:18pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
gluv01:I totally disagree. Educating a child is done out of love in the first case. Beating a child will end him in having bad idea about life generally and the family in particular. I don't how much impact this can have on a society but I think Nigerian society is a reflection of how the kids were raised and treated by their parents. There is no way beating a child can be of better solution when other ways are available to help the child understand what he is doing is wrong. We have read many comments of parents who beat their kids end them repeating the same thing. Beating will only strengthen the child in committing crimes and adapting to a hostile life. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 2:19pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
greatgod2012: Isolation works for me like magic.........."go and sleep in your room".......he/she will go, spend like 15-20 minutes there and come back on their own, well behaved. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by gluv01(f): 2:21pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
all4naija: I totally disagree. Educating you child is done out of love in the first case. Beating a child will end the him in having bad idea about life generally and the family in particular. I don't how much impact this can have on a society but I think Nigerian society is a reflection on how the kids were raised and treated. I understand what you mean, but if you read my comment again, I said depends on how many times the child has done that. And even if you are to whip that child, it should be for a very good reason. And it also depends on the society too as you said. And i think the education stuff is part of the love too. Yea... |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 2:33pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
gluv01:First and foremost, I apologize for my bad typos. There is no one way of educating a child but not through beating. Don't you ever beat a child for doing wrong. A correction by explanations and giving the child reason why not to do such a thing again will be of great help to better adulthood. Even when he does it again and again, in education there is always the sense of guiltiness that can push him to learn. This will give him the ability to reason and apologize. In the case of beating , the child may repeat the wrong and look for means to hide it from the parents thereby committing another crime of lying complicating the issue the more. Children are humans and are bound to repeat wrong. That should not be viewed as a weakness on their side that deserves a beating. The psychological impact of beating a child can be devastating to the social life of a kid without the parents knowing it.Another thing, children learn very fast. So, don't let them learn how to beat people. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by africanrapper: 2:38pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
When I become a Husband and Father, I will use the 'stick' approach ONLY when it becomes absolutely necessary. My whole body is full of scars of strokes my father gave me (using a stretched Iron cloth hanger) several years ago. Even till today, I can never wear only singlets - even when I'm with my male friends. If I do, you'll start hearing questions like: "Uche, what's reason for these scars?" , "Uche, were you a cultist in School"?. I can't stand the sight of seeing such scars on my beloved children - let alone remembering that I gave them those marks. God forbid. When I must discipline my children, I will use the Isolation method or the Carrot method (as described by someone here). #africanrapper |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by JallowBah(f): 2:42pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
africanrapper: When I become a Husband and Father, I will use the 'stick' approach ONLY when it becomes absolutely necessary. My whole body is full of scars of strokes my father gave me (using a stretched Iron cloth hanger) several years ago. Wow..I am sorry. That is terrible. A good friend of me told me her uncle used to beat her bad ( her father travelled much with his work ), and that the only thing that led to, was for her to act even more rude. She knew she would be beaten no matter if she listened or not, so she could might as well not listen.. I have a 2 year old in the house, and most of the time; she listens. When I tell her to leave something, and she do not listen after the second time, I always tell her "I`m gonna count to three now." Before I reach three, she normally listen, and if I do reach three, I put her on a chair, and go down to her and tell her why I put her there. When she stops her "crying", I ask if she is finished, and repeat why she was put there. She then tells me she understands, she say she is sorry and give me a hug, and goes to play. I rarely have to do it more than 2-4 times regarding the same things before she learns. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by gluv01(f): 2:48pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
all4naija: First and foremost, I apologize for my bad typos. There is no one way of educating a child but not through beating. Don't you ever beat a child for doing wrong. A correction by explanations and giving the child reason why not to do such a thing again will be of great help to better adulthood. Even when he does it again and again, in education there is always the sense of guiltiness that can push him to learn. This will give him the ability to reason and apologize. In the case of beating , the child may repeat the wrong and look for means to hide it from the parents thereby committing another crime of lying complicating the issue the more. OMG!!! You make me wanna cry ...That's so educating. Nice writeup. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 2:50pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
JallowBah:Hello, JallowBah. How are you? That is what I call child education and it often works. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 2:56pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Children are different, as such there are no hard and fast rules as regards discipline. My 5 year old would mostly do as she's told because she does not like me being cross with her or smacked and she's been like this since she was a toddler. My three year old however would do the exact opposite of what he's not supposed to do and smacking appears not to be working. I have since given up smacking him because I realise that isolating him seem to does the trick. A lot of parents are also guilty of smacking their children when angry or frustrated including yours truly, I have started to work on this to ensure that smacking is only done for correction as opposed to an outlet for letting off steam. Your know your child best and should be able to figure out the best approach. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Sagamite(m): 2:59pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Brand_new: A kind gentle talk educating the child on why the deed was wrong and shouldn't be repeated would do. Good approach. @OP, never rule out spanking. If it is necessary and expedient, do it! Don't be a funky parent. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by JallowBah(f): 3:06pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
all4naija: Hello, JallowBah. How are you? That is what I call child education and it often works. Im good, and you? Like someone said: kids are small human being, and deserve to be treated as such. They need to learn, and if they learn that you can beat them, they will beat others, and then what are you gonna do, beat them for beating..? |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by feyiona(m): 3:07pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
The best way is to talk to warn the child and if he continues smack him. By the time you have done this like twice or three times only the threat of a smacking will set him on the straight and narrow. We are beginning to take on take on the cultures of the White guys of not spanking. Look at what their children are turning to. The major thing is don't smack any child in anger then you will overdo it |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by MEKKYbob(m): 3:09pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
yuzedo:.....quit a thing of joy that foolz like u fell 4 my attension-looking comment and picture!!!
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Re: Best Way To Correct Children by JallowBah(f): 3:10pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
feyiona: The best way is to talk to warn the child and if he continues smack him. By the time you have done this like twice or three times only the threat of a smacking will set him on the straight and narrow. We are beginning to take on take on the cultures of the White guys of not spanking. Look at what their children are turning to. And what are white people, like me, turning into, you say..? You want me to send you statistics on what color the people who do crime and r*pe in my country is? Guess the beating did not teach them to not jump women, and to not thief people with a blade or knife in their hands, then. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 3:11pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
JallowBah:I am good. Thank you. I agree with everything you've said. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Sagamite(m): 3:16pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Austin G: Its varies with the different types of kids, some need threats, some needs a gentle talk or advice, some need public disgrace to stop it, some need whip.. so first, study the child and know what scares him/her and this has to be done in his/her early stage of life (5-7 years) after this age, u will need to work harder to be able to correct them, for me.. after warning that child on same thing for 3 times, if it happens again, use ur whip.. So brilliantly said. Funky-wannabees never get this. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by JallowBah(f): 3:20pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Sagamite: The problem for me here is that what one person consider whipping, I might consider beating. A smack on the backside, just ONE, is for me ok, if the kid got some warnings already. To lay the child over your knee and spank, on the other hand, not ok. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 3:25pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
JallowBah:You can never made some people understand the correct thing to do in your comment in this forum. No matter what you say some of them just like to follow that primitive pathway. The most annoying thing is that they claim their society is far better and when you look at the condition of things they are far worse than the hell. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by deletrue: 3:28pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
maybe, time and place (towns and cities ) matters in this issue. In my time,especially myself, i flog children much. My second son who finished his short service was an outstanding case. In his secondary school days, we were almost wrestling physically but gradually changed until he became good after his university education, the girls were gentle from time to when they finished university without flogging. can't tell why the difference in character. Generally those who grew up in remote areas tend to flog children than those who live cities. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Sagamite(m): 3:32pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
JallowBah: For the kind of child I would smack: Less than 5 and over 2 = maximum is raised voice and two-finger smacks on the hand. 5 - 8 = maximum is hand on the bottom. 8 - 14 = maximum is belt strokes to the bottom. 14 - 18 = No pocket money or anything you need to be cool and slap to the face "If you have not learnt in all this years, are you ready to fight me?" Over 18 = "Get the fck out of my house if you can't follow my rules" |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by ba7man(m): 3:39pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Children are constantly testing their boundaries so a parent has to be sensitive to know when they do this. They try somthing naughty and check your reaction, if you fail to react appropriately, they step up their boundary. Be very quick to spot these moments and nip it in the bud with a sharp reproach before it gets out of hand. Children also have things that make their lives worthwhile eg Video games, toys, new clothes, Choclate etc you normally treat them to. Withdraw these treats when they misbehave and let them realize it was their naughty behaviour that was responsible. If all that don't work, A "HARD RESET" will do.....check below for illustration.....
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Re: Best Way To Correct Children by gluv01(f): 3:41pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
ba7man: Children are constantly testing their boundaries so a parent has to be sensitive to know when they do this. They try somthing naughty and check your reaction, if you fail to react appropriately, they step up their boundary. Be very quick to spot these moments and nip it in the bud with a sharp reproach before it gets out of hand. Children also have things that make their lives worthwhile eg Video games, toys, new clothes, Choclate etc you normally treat them to. Withdraw these treats when they misbehave and let them realize it was their naughty behaviour that was responsible. If all that don't work, A "HARD RESET" will do.....check below for illustration..... OMG You are mean |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 3:45pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Being in this business( parenting) for a while now , I've come to realize that you need to study and recognize your child's Anatomy before you know the kind of approach to subject when it comes to discipline especially. My kids are clingy type and I never spank or hit them , my eldest knows when she misbehaves , iPad, iPhone, and iPod touch is gone for 24hrs for good and she stays in her room with tv and all games taken away . Time out works for my middle child and she dreads it, she turns red like she's about to convulse when she stays on that spot, if she moves from that spot( markedX) she will start all over again and I never gave in. My third is still infant , however she sees her older sibling and knows how they serve their time when they do wrong, just mention timeout to her and you hear her burst into loud noise with 'mommy I'm torie'( sorry ) All kids are different with different approach , just cause parent A spank doesn't mean it'll work for parent B, one size doesn't fit all. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by ba7man(m): 3:45pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
gluv01:They had their chance...if they choose to blow it, then they had it coming. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Sagamite(m): 3:46pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
ba7man: Children are constantly testing their boundaries so a parent has to be sensitive to know when they do this. They try somthing naughty and check your reaction, if you fail to react appropriately, they step up their boundary. Be very quick to spot these moments and nip it in the bud with a sharp reproach before it gets out of hand. Children also have things that make their lives worthwhile eg Video games, toys, new clothes, Choclate etc you normally treat them to. Withdraw these treats when they misbehave and let them realize it was their naughty behaviour that was responsible. If all that don't work, A "HARD RESET" will do.....check below for illustration..... So fcking well said. You are not funky. You are unlikely to end up with a child like this: https://www.nairaland.com/984548/flogging-children-school-home-good/4#14263537 Let those that want to be funky, be funky! |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by kinsbestyahoo: 3:49pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
madam or aga bible talk am say spare the rod and spoil the child....see you have to flog and talk to the child at the same time, I believe it goes hand in hand...God bless you mysticgal: I find it difficult to beat kids,so house,what the best way of correction,isolation or spanking/flogging. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 3:50pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Lmao Sagamilo . I knew your stance even before I clicked on the thread |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Krucifax(m): 3:51pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Obviously talking is the first and preferred way of speaking to a misbehaving child. The thing is though that children of a certain age lack logic and some times have to be taught via threat i.e (beatings),so whilst they may not be able to process why something should not be done they understand fear it serves (sometimes) as an effective deterrent!! However whilst i'm personally an advocate of the occasional spanking,it should also be highlighted that some parents take this to far and that's when discipline crosses the line and becomes abuse! mysticgal: I find it difficult to beat kids,so house,what the best way of correction,isolation or spanking/flogging. |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Sagamite(m): 3:55pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
jennykadry: Lmao Sagamilo . I knew your stance even before I clicked on the thread Tscheww! Some people want to be funky. *Mimicks in ridicule*: "I love my kids too much", "Ma me love my kids pass", "I can never do anything to harm my kids", "It is human rights", "That is child abuse", "Treat kids like adults". Dem think say to raise kids like na hollywood script. That na how dey fairytale to hell the concept of marriage with their mumu liberal, progressive, modern approach. Welcome to the real world. It is not a cool one, some things are essential to get good results! I am seeing the inferior outcomes on average of child-rearing in the country I live in everyday. I am not funky. I WILL NEVER BE FUNKY. I WILL DO MY JOB WELL! |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Krucifax(m): 3:58pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
Sagamite: Gaddam!!!! I read about the texts in the news but couldn't be bothered to read the actual texts,followed your link and all i can say is OMG!! I don't know what Chris Hunhe could have done to deserve that but it seems the son is a horrible little sh*t!! Point of note don't try to be your child's friend be your child's parent!!! |
Re: Best Way To Correct Children by Nobody: 4:00pm On Feb 13, 2013 |
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