kulyie: In nigeria,it is a man's world while in more developed,rational thinking countries like america and sweden,its a woman's world.ok,look at the case of yerima that went to marry a 13 year old girl.with all the shouting and threatning of women's group,didn't he still have his way? The truth of the matter is that even women support this behaviour because if many women resisted the advances of married men,adultery will drop.moreso we live in a morally and financially bankrupt society.a hungry single woman who is materialistic is ready to throw morals away if the married man promises her heaven and earth.if worst comes to the worst,this men will marry them so lets face it,women are their own worst enemy.

coogar: this is absolute nonsense.....

you cannot force people to live the way they don't want to live - women still carry the majority of the blame. it's not like these women don't know the man in question is married, why then do they still sleëp with the men? were the women forced to? were they råped?

women should take a hard look at themselves and stop blaming the men for their own irresponsibility. if an irresponsible married man asks a woman out, she should refuse his advances. pure, plain and simple!!!

kulyie: exactly.so this campaign you are starting will not yield anything.i remember some years back when i used to go to national council of women societies (ncws) for my msc research,i discovered that these women that claim to be fighting for women's right,gender equality,fightig for oppressed and abused women in marriage are actually their own enemies.even though i am not their member but for the purpose of my thesis i used to go there to jot down some information and elicit data.these women will gossip about each other,slander themselves,secretly date each other's husband and so many sick things.the real founders of feminism and women empowerment will be ashamed and disappointed if they go there and see all the atrocities these women do to themselves.apart from getting my masters degree,i later discovered that these women are just going there for show off,getting connected to the governor or ministers wife who may be appointed as their chairman so they can get contracts.some of them even secretly sleep with these governors so that they can get bigger contracts and oppress themselves with the latest gold necklace,voile or swiss lace,brazillian hair and car,so will you blame the men when women themselves are strengthening adultery and polygamy because of materialism

biolabee: 200 years ago, did this cheating as you call it exist
The man is doing what his ancestors did legally within polygamy only that he has NOT adjusted himself to modern realities.

Women should wait for another 40 years when naija men will be cleaned out for cheating on their legally married wives

i am not surprised - feminism has always being a fraud!
the women championing it cannot even tell you categorically what it means - they want sex equality. one moment women are weak, the next moment - women are equal or even greater than men. yet, when these female freedom fighters gather together, all they do is slander, gossip and hurt each other.

modern realities? are you aware the holy quaran actually supports polygamy? you mean people would abandon their long-held traditions because of political-correctness? the same political correctness that says "aye" to gay marriage and frowns at polygamy? they would have to stop nigerians practising islam first - not possible!

women can wait 4000 yrs and nothing would change!
an alhaji knows he can marry 2 or more wives - his religion backs the practise and logic states he must have cheated on the first wife before bringing in the second and third wives home.

coogar:

i am not surprised - feminism has always being a fraud!
the women championing it cannot even tell you categorically what it means - they want sex equality. one moment women are weak, the next moment - women are equal or even greater than men. yet, when these female freedom fighters gather together, all they do is slander, gossip and hurt each other.



modern realities? are you aware the holy quaran actually supports polygamy? you mean people would abandon their long-held traditions because of political-correctness? the same political correctness that says "aye" to gay marriage and frowns at polygamy? they would have to stop nigerians practising islam first - not possible!



women can wait 4000 yrs and nothing would change!
an alhaji knows he can marry 2 or more wives - his religion backs the practise and logic states he must have cheated on the first wife before bringing in the second and third wives home.

biolabee:
Can musilims in the UK actually marry more than one wife

ileobatojo: Interesting! So these single fraudulent feminist females are r*aping all these married men who have sacred vows to protect innit?

It seems that the society has redefined its
norms that now people see it as normal
thing when men cheat.Little wonder [b]a
friend that is yet to marry has concluded
that he is going to cheat and even girls
that are yet to marry has believed that all
men cheat.[/b]This has really downplay the
importance of fidelity in marriage.

coogar:

no one is råping the other. rãpe cases aside, a woman holds the key to any sëxual congress. if she says no, then it's no regardless of the kind of mouth-watering promises the man must have made. if women say no then the issue is dead n buried but do they?

ileobatojo:



I know this comes as no shock to you but guess who else can say no? The married men! Being pursued vehemently by hot, single skanks? Just say no. The hot secretary in your office flirting with you? Just say no. The multitudes of women you go after yourself without invitation nko? Just say no. How about the ones you lie to that you are single? Just say no!

If the man says no to a woman's sexual advances and refrains from making any sexual advances to other women, the issue is dead and buried, but do they?

Both parties are at fault (as long as their is no deception involved). As far as I'm concerned though, the fault lies more with the person disrespecting the marital vows. Male or female!

ileobatojo:
I know this comes as no shock to you but guess who else can say no? The married men! Being pursued vehemently by hot, single skanks? Just say no. The hot secretary in your office flirting with you? Just say no. The multitudes of women you go after yourself without invitation nko? Just say no. How about the ones you lie to that you are single? Just say no!

If the man says no to a woman's sexual advances and refrains from making any sexual advances to other women, the issue is dead and buried, but do they?

Both parties are at fault (as long as their is no deception involved). As far as I'm concerned though, the fault lies more with the person disrespecting the marital vows. Male or female!

coogar:

women are at fault - men are faultless here unless räpe is involved!


it's never in a man's hand!

biolabee:


Scanning the minds of men out there going through the conumdrum of saying no to a hot bod


Error Error Error.... Reboot Device

Mkpakala:
I don't have problem with an unmarried men sleeping around, but the truth is a married man has a vow to protect and also an obligation to protect her wife emotionally or otherwise then why will he go ahead to cheat? knowing quite well the act will cause emotional trauma to the other spouse.The question is will the society judge them the same? if it were to be the other way round way the answer is NO then the society needs to protect the other spouse.

coogar:

why he went ahead to cheat is irrelevant - did he cheat with himself?
there was a willing partner out there who should know better - a woman! this woman knows a fellow woman is the wife of this man and she shouldn't have accepted such a devious offer but she still went ahead. women are their own worst enemies! all those aristo men in the nigerian universities, are you trying to tell me the chics don't know these men are married? if every woman says no to married men, would there be infidelity?

ileobatojo:
By the way, which side are you on again? On one thread, you are championing single women going for married men if that's what makes them happy. On this one, you are calling the women that do so all manners of names. Mr flip flopper.

Mkpakala:

I don't have problem with an unmarried men sleeping around, but the truth is a married man has a vow to protect and also an obligation to protect her wife emotionally or otherwise then why will he go ahead to cheat? knowing quite well the act will cause emotional trauma to the other spouse.The question is will the society judge them the same? if it were to be the other way round way the answer is NO then the society needs to protect the other spouse

ileobatojo:
If parents would start living by example and instilling good values into the coming generations, perhaps there would be change.

biolabee:
coogar, not all marital affairs involve full disclosure
SOme ladies are deceived

biolabee:

Some of the mothers stole their husband from another hapless girl

#JustSaying

Coogar: women should go for what makes them happy - i support that. happy women equates a happy place of work, happy place of study and ultimately, a happier nation! what goes around wont come around. what went round in the first place that condemned good-mannered women to singlehood?

coogar:

there was a willing partner out there who should know better - a woman!

this woman knows a fellow woman is the wife of this man and she shouldn't have accepted such a devious offer but she still went ahead.

if every woman says no to married men, would there be infidelity? if there's no market, there wouldn't be men leaving their house to commit adultery in the first place. when women close these markets, there wouldn't be buyers!!!

coogar:
why should a woman even go after a married man in the first place?

women initiate the moves and yet they are the ones to cry foul after being slaughtered and used like a sanitary towel - women can't have it both ways!

women are at fault - men are faultless here unless räpe is involved!

if women learn to close their legs when married men are on the prowl, no one would get hurt.

ileobatojo: In response to a discussion about single women going after married men.

https://www.nairaland.com/1202715/when-desirable-not-available

On this thread.

Clearly, 'I have a problem with logic'

ileobatojo:

That wouldn't be living by example, would it?

Mkpakala: Dear people,

I don't know if there is another thread on this but I am starting it again because I really want to disillusion the societal belief, that a cheating married man can get away with impunity.

Sometime last week,I read on one of the most popular blog in Nigeria where a woman complained about her husband impregnating his ex one month before their marriage, he even lied to her that he has stop doing anything with the ex since both of them started their relationship.In summary, the woman is 8 months pregnant while the soon-to-be-rival is seven months pregnant,she ran to her father's house and after 6 months she was asking people if is the right decision to return to her husband's house and out of the 334 responses (as at the time i read it) 90% (am not exaggerating) advised her to go back.(please i don't have problem with the advice) but the naked truth is her marital bliss has been punctured and she will live the rest of her life either sharing husband or sharing a child which might not be what she planned for herself.Again on the same blog someone else narrated how her husband decided to cheat on her, when she was observing her hormonal changes during her 1st trimester, and how irritating the whole idea of touching her husband has become, and as usual greater percentage of the responses was stay put(again i don't have problem with that),also the naked truth is her psyche has been damaged and she might live the rest of her life being tormented by that wanton experience and countless of others that i cannot mention.I quoted blog responses because it somehow represent the sample population of how the society views cheating in men.THE POINT IS MEN GET AWAY EASILY even when they have inflicted a life time injury on the other partner.

It seems that the society has redefined its norms that now people see it as normal thing when men cheat.Little wonder a friend that is yet to marry has concluded that he is going to cheat and even girls that are yet to marry has believed that all men cheat.This has really downplay the importance of fidelity in marriage.The ease is so emphatic that even the seemingly good and nice men has started toeing the same line after all is as simple as "impregnate your wife go about screwing every other woman without remorse if she ever found out she will give you a second chance and if she decides to go don't even worry continue screwing as many as you can because after 7 months just go and say I am sorry is the devil's work she will definitely come back because she will not want to give birth to a child without the father" can you imagine? this has almost been the scenario.

However my intent of writing all this epistle is to challenge the society that if a man chooses willingly to be irresponsible the society should address this irresponsibility and punish him cos if there are laws against theft,pilfering,attempted murder why wont there be law against cheating? all of them are ways of taking away people's joy.Please I will like us to suggest a realistic punishment or consequence that should be meted on a cheating married man the essence is we can't continue to wait for karma while some irresponsible fathers go ahead to destroy the sacred institution of marriage(note am not accusing only men of cheating but the society has by default dealt with the issue of women cheating)and you might not know who will be reading this thread or someone that read it might have the opportunity to change this ugly trend that is about to plunge the whole system into doom.Personally I will suggest that the government should enact a law that any man caught cheating, maybe the wife will even help in the prosecution and if the wife is afraid of the outcome or want to save the marriage she should hand over the evidence(s) to a third party who will submit it to the court,the court will enforce the arrest and after considering the evidence(s) and the man is found guilty he should be taken back to his village and under strict restriction of children below 18years the man should be strip naked and put to shame (lol).YES!!as primitive as this may sound it might go a long way in curbing it than have nothing to do. Believe me until there is a punishment attach to the issue of cheating men will never hold to their obligation and will always see it as an easy way out and please don't tell me anything about the way the western world will see it because the laws in western world protects women a lot and you dare not cheat on your wife and go scotfree if she finds out and decides to punish you.

Finally, my fellow nairalanders lets suggest in this thread ways to stop this either by monetary loss or any form of punishment because infidelity will give rise to a dysfunctional family and a dysfunctional family will definitely give rise to a dysfunctional society.On a lighter note HAPPY MOTHERING SUNDAY to all the mothers that their husbands have punctured their happiness through cheating, don't worry very soon!! i mean very soon!!! monkey go go market and chimpanzee go show am where im belong.lol
Please keep the suggestions coming!!

NB this is coming from a guy abeg no surprise

I SOOOOOOOO AGREEE, WE HAVE STARTED WITH CITIZEN PUNISHMENT. I THINK NOT ONLY THE WIFE SHOULD EXERCISE THE PUNISHMENT BUT THE GIRLFRIEND AND HER FAMILLY TOO IF HE LIED ABOUT BEING MARRIED! NIGERIAN MEN HAVE BEEN GIVEN CARTEBLANCHE TO CHEAT WITH NO CONCEQUENCES OF THE ACTION. I AM JUST SO EMBARASSED THAT I GUY WOULD COME UP WITH SUCH WHEN THE 99.999 OF THOSE WHO SAY FORGIVE HIM, LET IT GO ARE WOMEN.
AMEN