Before you get married please read...

1. Once you are hooked to the wrong person the battle is over, you will either be managing or patching till you die. If a goat marries a fish, how would they live or where would they be meeting each other? It is only
when the goat is thirsty and goes to the river to drink water that they will only see briefly as the fish will jump out to greet the goat and swim away. Any marriage where both partners see each other once in a long while is likened to the goat and fish illustration above. Marriage does not make marriage. It is the people in marriage that make marriage.

2 .Compatibility is worked out, of course you may never get a perfect person. But with dedication,knowledge and wisdom compatibility will start building, that is if he or she is the right person.

3. But the major challenge in getting married is choosing the right person. You don't choose a person because he or she is available or eligible. You choose a person because that person is the right for you.

4. Run away from any man or woman that is easily angered by nature; that is getting angry easily is he or she's lifestyle. It is difficult to change that person. But if someone gets angry by mistake, that person can be corrected but if it is his or her nature, you have to think twice.

5. It is possible to mis-marry. It is possible to be living with the wrong man or woman. It is possible to be dating the wrong person or be in courtship with the wrong person.

6. Once your choice is right then you are on the right track. How can a lion be married to a goat? what now
happens when the lion is hungry? Any man that beats his wife is likened to the above illustration. Any woman that oppresses her husband is also likened to this scenario.

7. There are some people that are highly inflamable, please do not take a box of matches near them. What this means is that these people's hearts are made of stone, giving them your soft heart in love is a mistake. They will not value it.

8. Love may be blind to many, but marriage will definitely open their eyes. Love in reality is not blind when you start seeing those unchangeable signs during courtship please keep off. When a man starts cheating on you when dating, it is a sign that he will do much more when he is married to you. He or she may legally begin to cheat on you because he is now married legally to you.

9. Dating is not for outing alone, dating is for knowing, watching and examining. Watch out for negative signs to see if it can be dealt with, if it cannot be dealt with in courtship it may not change in marriage.

10. To get the right person, try to be the right person. Work on yourself, work on your flaws.

11 America and the western world is plagued with divorce today because they marry without paying attention to these facts listed above. They marry without knowing the person they are marrying at least to a large extent.

12. Don't practice divorce before you get married. That is when you are breaking relationships over and over
again, your emotion is also affected in the process. Wait for the right person.

13. Don't marry because you cannot enjoy your singlehood. If you are happy being single, then you will be happy being married and if you are not happy while still single....

14. Marriage is not an escape from singlehood but marriage is actually a graduation from singlehood...moving
from writing simple exams of life to writing another hard exams.

15. Do not rush into marriage because you are under pressure or you are feeling you are the odd one out. When you are feeling everyone is getting married except you then you are making yourself becoming a wrong person.

True talk sha

Na so oo

Marriage has no recipe, no formular, no written constitutions and no rigid rules. Two strange people can have nothing in common and still be married happily for life.

van bonattel: Marriage has no recipe, no formular, no written constitutions and no rigid rules. Two strange people can have nothing in common and still be married happily for life.

I strongly believe so. it all takes wisdom and consideration. without these, even 2 pple who were head over heels in luv can fall out. . . and

Stegomiah: Before you get married please read...


2 .Compatibility is worked out, of
course you may never get a perfect
person.
But with dedication, knowledge and
wisdom compatibility will start
building, that is if he or she is the
right person.

I sooooo believe the above point. you cant force compatibility. give it a little time. the couple each grew up in different environments. so, from day one, they may not immediately blend. but as the poster said, with dedication, knowledge and wisdom, it will build. the point is, its not from day one that we'll immediately start eating from the same bowl, or sharing toothbrush (IF THAT'S UR KINDA THING EWWWWWW)! Even sharing account sef. its not for everyone. there r not rules. its the couple who should make up the rules that suit them!

Nice write,I left a relationship of 5years,cos my Ex held my shirt in public,I was surprised,never believed such could ever happened to me.I told her,its over instantly,cos if I marry such,I will end up a miserable man.

No matter what,I believe differences should be settled at home,not in public.

Yomieluv: Nice write,I left a relationship of 5years,cos my Ex held my shirt in public,I was surprised,never believed such could ever happened to me.I told her,its over instantly,cos if I marry such,I will end up a miserable man.

No matter what,I believe differences should be settled at home,not in public.

Guess U̶̲̥̅̊ did what was best for U̶̲̥̅̊, aπϑ I agree wit U̶̲̥̅̊, differnces should be settled at home

van bonattel: Marriage has no recipe, no formular, no written constitutions and no rigid rules. Two strange people can have nothing in common and still be married happily for life.

Well said, but you can't just travel to a strange land without researching about d place, or go into a particular career path, course of study or field widout avin a clue, d above tips ar preambles, basic tins you must know, sure it doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, but it will sure help many not to make mistakes oda pple made!

van bonattel: Marriage has no recipe, no formular, no written constitutions and no rigid rules. Two strange people can have nothing in common and still be married happily for life.

Absolutely on point. Every relationship/marriage is unique. Do what works for you as long as it doesn't involve abuse from either party in any form. There is no one size fits all advice to marriage, kind of like no one size fits all advice to anything in life. So we all have to be careful what we take in or listen to.

@ op you are 1oo % right but as usual,some nairalanders will argue,criticize and even diss the topic.some wont even take it,except of course the wise ones

The three major things that should be a motivating factor in choosing a life partner are: compatibility, love, and fear of God. Without these three things being initially available, you have 95percent chances of marrying the wrong person. And if you neglect them and got married , you will join the band wagon of those who press down their emotions so hard for a long time to achieve little change in their marriages.

[quote
author=Princess zoe]The three major things that should be a motivating
factor in choosing a life partner are: compatibility, love, and fear of
God. Without these three things being initially available, you have
95percent chances of marrying the wrong person. And if you neglect them
and got married , you will join the band wagon of those who press down
their emotions so hard for a long time to achieve little change in their
marriages. [/quote]

on point!

nice thread

For ur no 1, e get as e be..

The battle is not over when you marry the wrong person.

Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair. Don't patch things up, u deserve the best, if u are not getting that, then it's time to walk!

No time

[quote
author=Vikin]For ur no 1, e get as e be..

The battle is not over when you marry the wrong person.

Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair. Don't patch things up, u
deserve the best, if u are not getting that, then it's time to walk!

No time [/quote]

[quote
author=Vikin]For ur no 1, e get as e be..

The battle is not over when you marry the wrong person.

Marriage shouldn't be a do or die affair. Don't patch things up, u
deserve the best, if u are not getting that, then it's time to walk!

No time [/quote]

dnt tink i agree with you, technically d battle may not yet be ova, as u indicated dat divorce nd remarrying is d escape route, but realistically d battle is ova.

firstly, my bible says God hates putting away(divorce), nd also ur vows is till death do yo part! so to me divorce is not an option.

secondly, u dont get d same glamour, u av as ur first marriage, u will b shy to even invite pple 4 ur wedding dats if dia is one, cos ur first marriage is a failure, even ur church may not support dis.

lastly is d fear on ur path, as in will dis one work out or not, if u av children, u put dia future at gr8 risk, dey av 2 living fadas, definately dia will be division nd uncertainity.

Good points bt wil they ever finish? Lots of dos n dnts in marriage. Most times,we're nt wired to follow rules n regulations nt to talk of a free institution like marriage where no two marriages are the same.
Generally, there are basically two sides to every marriage, the physical aspect (covering emotions, thinking pattern, finance, sex, communication and temperament) and the spiritual aspect. So,as a married young man wit two kids at 29, if I were to advice those planning on entering the institution, I would say just two things: WILLINGNESS TO LEARN AND GRACE OF GOD.

chaircover: Lots of good points but bottomline is its the grace of God. Many people didnt tick off all those 15 points and still have a happy marriage, while some ticked off the 15 boxes and are struggling in their marriages

I have come to accept that having a stress free marriage is the grace of God. Ive seem good men and women turn bad overnight, something that the husband or wife wouldn't have predicted before hand.

Of course shop very well and open your eyes very well before picking a husband or wife and some traits/qualities you see in some people should make you run miles, but most importantly dont forget to invite God, cos we def cant do it alone. we are only human and as humans we dont have superpowers to see into the future.

Your advice this tym sounds directly from the spiritual realm ma. Are you now a pastor? Pastor Chaircover

Likes attracts likes, if you try to be the right partner, there is 90% probability for you to attract the right partner, also, the golden rule can never be over-emphasized in marriage.........doing unto your partner what you will want to be done to you.
In addition, learn to speak out,(effective and timely communication) when things do not work out the way you expected, instead of bottling up, it helps.
Above all, have the fear of God in mind when dealing with another person and learn to forgive freely.
May God help us all.

greatgod2012: Likes attracts likes, if you try to be the right partner, there is 90% probability for you to attract the right partner, also, the golden rule can never be over-emphasized in marriage.........doing unto your partner what you will want to be done to you.
In addition, learn to speak out,(effective and timely communication) when things do not work out the way you expected, instead of bottling up, it helps.
Above all, have the fear of God in mind when dealing with another person and learn to forgive freely.
May God help us all.

You made a very Valid point,one is most likely to attract the right partner, if you consciously try to be the right partner yourself .

Nice post but i must say dia is no formula or recipe for successful marriage, it only takes Gods grace, courting 4 a long period of time does not neccessarily guarantee dat u know d peson weell, cos pple can pretend it's afta u don enta am den u begin 2 see dia real character, most pple ar wolves I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ sheeps clothing..

One knowing what he/she wants to be in life also helps very much (Vision or purpose). It automatically reduces the pool of eligible suitors.

'When a person has no destination, anywhere becomes his end point.'

If a single is not happy, he/she cannot be happy in marriage
If a single is not complete, he/she cannot be complete in marriage
If a single has no sense of fulfillment, he/she cannot be fulfilled in marriage

Marriage is NOT a status symbol! You are telling people that you have found a companion that together you want to fulfill your collective and individual purposes.

If you want to marry because:
you want someone to cook your meals get a cook
you want someone to wash your clothes/clean get a maid
you want someone to pay the bills get a job/rich maga
you want security get a maiguard
you want a change of name go to a court
you want kids adopt or get a baby mama/daddy

However, if you want a lifelong companion with all the above in the package .... GET MARRIED

it's well



A

Op,I feel u but I must disagree with some of ur points.

That person u said pple should walk away from,who then will marry him/her? For every hot mannered guy,there is always a cool sisi outa there for him.its a matter of finding ur missin rib.
Marriage is not a do or die affair some can't and will not continue in an abusive union.
Some pple r atheist,they live by there own principle and policies and it works for them also.
Some pple didnt court and yet hv good marriage.


Every marriage is distinct and unique.

Great write up

Stegomiah: Before you get married please read...

1. Once you are hooked to the wrong person the battle is over, you will either be managing or patching till you die. If a goat marries a fish, how would they live or where would they be meeting each other? It is only
when the goat is thirsty and goes to the river to drink water that they will only see briefly as the fish will jump out to greet the goat and swim away. Any marriage where both partners see each other once in a long while is likened to the goat and fish illustration above. Marriage does not make marriage. It is the people in marriage that make marriage.

2 .Compatibility is worked out, of course you may never get a perfect person. But with dedication,knowledge and wisdom compatibility will start building, that is if he or she is the right person.

3. But the major challenge in getting married is choosing the right person. You don't choose a person because he or she is available or eligible. You choose a person because that person is the right for you.

4. Run away from any man or woman that is easily angered by nature; that is getting angry easily is he or she's lifestyle. It is difficult to change that person. But if someone gets angry by mistake, that person can be corrected but if it is his or her nature, you have to think twice.

5. It is possible to mis-marry. It is possible to be living with the wrong man or woman. It is possible to be dating the wrong person or be in courtship with the wrong person.

6. Once your choice is right then you are on the right track. How can a lion be married to a goat? what now
happens when the lion is hungry? Any man that beats his wife is likened to the above illustration. Any woman that oppresses her husband is also likened to this scenario.

7. There are some people that are highly inflamable, please do not take a box of matches near them. What this means is that these people's hearts are made of stone, giving them your soft heart in love is a mistake. They will not value it.

8. Love may be blind to many, but marriage will definitely open their eyes. Love in reality is not blind when you start seeing those unchangeable signs during courtship please keep off. When a man starts cheating on you when dating, it is a sign that he will do much more when he is married to you. He or she may legally begin to cheat on you because he is now married legally to you.

9. Dating is not for outing alone, dating is for knowing, watching and examining. Watch out for negative signs to see if it can be dealt with, if it cannot be dealt with in courtship it may not change in marriage.

10. To get the right person, try to be the right person. Work on yourself, work on your flaws.

11 America and the western world is plagued with divorce today because they marry without paying attention to these facts listed above. They marry without knowing the person they are marrying at least to a large extent.

12. Don't practice divorce before you get married. That is when you are breaking relationships over and over
again, your emotion is also affected in the process. Wait for the right person.

13. Don't marry because you cannot enjoy your singlehood. If you are happy being single, then you will be happy being married and if you are not happy while still single....

14. Marriage is not an escape from singlehood but marriage is actually a graduation from singlehood...moving
from writing simple exams of life to writing another hard exams.

15. Do not rush into marriage because you are under pressure or you are feeling you are the odd one out. When you are feeling everyone is getting married except you then you are making yourself becoming a wrong person.

OK

Yomieluv: Nice write,I left a relationship of 5years,cos my Ex held my shirt in public,I was surprised,never believed such could ever happened to me.I told her,its over instantly,cos if I marry such,I will end up a miserable man.

No matter what,I believe differences should be settled at home,not in public.

You called the relationship quits because she held your shirt in public? Like seriously? you didn't tell us the reason behind her acts. don't worry, the next woman you will date will slap you in public! nonsense!!

Gbanikiti, you are a wicked woman.

Above all, don't forget to pray. Prayer reveals so much.

nyc 1 bt numbr 4 be as e get o...wont people who r easily angered get marry?