Flashaldrin: ok, after going through your posts, i have to two conclusions.
Op is both stupid (still stays with same boyfriend that neglects her and she has allegedly broken up with many times) and an attention seeker (keeps advertising her stupidity online). No offence.

and you are much more stupid because you come here to comment on my post!

Flashaldrin:
ofcourse you certainly dont act like a nigerian! My naija girls can never be this vulnerable.

My situation has nothing to do with vulnerability. I simply don't want to hurt a friend by pushing him away like I would do with any other guy! Anyway, I'd rather be vulnerable than materialistic and calculative like many Nigerian girls!

miss-sweety86:


My situation has nothing to do with vulnerability. I simply don't want to hurt a friend by pushing him away like I would do with any other guy! Anyway, I'd rather be vulnerable than materialistic and calculative like many Nigerian girls!

Darling you're vulnerable. You just don't See it.. Look at how guilt is messing with you, that's the crack in your defence.
Draw your boundaries and make them clear and acceptable...

miss-sweety86:


My situation has nothing to do with vulnerability. I simply don't want to hurt a friend by pushing him away like I would do with any other guy! Anyway, I'd rather be vulnerable than materialistic and calculative like many Nigerian girls!

an advice, take it or leave it: when someone criticizes you, no matter how harsh it is, dont try to refute, deny, argue it or think they're hating, instead try to search inwards and consider the criticism, if there's any truth in it. Only that way you can learn and grow.

Flashaldrin:
an advice, take it or leave it: when someone criticizes you, no matter how harsh it is, dont try to refute, deny, argue it or think they're hating, instead try to search inwards and consider the criticism, if there's any truth in it. Only that way you can learn and grow.

I'm sorry but I don't consider insults as any sort of criticism.... Maybe Nigerian girls take insults as critics but I just take insults as insults!

miss-sweety86:


I'm sorry but I don't consider insults as any sort of criticism.... Maybe Nigerian girls take insults as critics but I just take insults as insults!

insults are not insults if they are true.

Flashaldrin:
insults are not insults if they are true.

OMG! Can't believe that people can be that stupid! Please, go insult yourself then!

@ Op..STOP PLAYING CASUAL with issues like this.first sit down and ask yourself, how will you feel if your BF is spending weekend with your female friend or sister? After all,she's just a friend and or a sister?.If you can honestly answer this or yourself,then you know what to do.Break off or start afresh.

Pls cn some one get me my lens? My naked eye cnt read this 'thesis' unaided. Pls i wld love to see the abridged version

Yeah, thnk da gud Lawd ur not Nigerian but damn gurl, lissen to kambo, fubby &wacky; chuck da dude outta ur life befo u fin im in yo bed. Stop being so vulnerable; assert urself, go all diva on him b4 guilt &naivety takes u down else he'd be da one making a touchdown on ur booty. U sound sincere in some odd clean way like dat but we aint in no more in dem Jane Austen climes &tymes wiv all their starched collars, gallantry &nobility. Try making som new friends, look fer activ service/joint interest groups an join up cos u do need company, u do need to unwind bt close 'em options tht cld make u stray into his space.

jidewin: @ Op..STOP PLAYING CASUAL with issues like this.first sit down and ask yourself, how will you feel if your BF is spending weekend with your female friend or sister? After all,she's just a friend and or a sister?.If you can honestly answer this or yourself,then you know what to do.Break off or start afresh.

Depends on the situation and on the friend.... But that is not the main issue..... And I barely see that guy.... I told him several times that I am not interested but I'm not good at saying that kind of things in front of people... I mean, I'm scared that he would take it bad and get angry or upset and then I would have ruin the entire week end and our friendship...

Mekanus: Pls cn some one get me my lens? My naked eye cnt read this 'thesis' unaided. Pls i wld love to see the abridged version

I've written a short version, if you can't see it there is nothing I can do to help your vision! By the way, my eyes don't read weird English either!

thimbook2: Yeah, thnk da gud Lawd ur not Nigerian but damn gurl, lissen to kambo, fubby &wacky; chuck da dude outta ur life befo u fin im in yo bed. Stop being so vulnerable; assert urself, go all diva on him b4 guilt &naivety takes u down else he'd be da one making a touchdown on ur booty. U sound sincere in some odd clean way like dat but we aint in no more in dem Jane Austen climes &tymes wiv all their starched collars, gallantry &nobility. Try making som new friends, look fer activ service/joint interest groups an join up cos u do need company, u do need to unwind bt close 'em options tht cld make u stray into his space.

Anyway, I don't think I'll see him again before I leave in September....

"I'm scared", you are indeed vulnerable, undeniably so.

miss-sweety86:


Depends on the situation and on the friend.... But that is not the main issue..... And I barely see that guy.... I told him several times that I am not interested but I'm not good at saying that kind of things in front of people... I mean, I'm scared that he would take it bad and get angry or upset and then I would have ruin the entire week end and our friendship...

jntyjnty007: "I'm scared", you are indeed vulnerable, undeniably so.

Lets say that I don't like hurting anyone's feelings!

Flashaldrin:
ofcourse you certainly dont act like a nigerian! My naija girls can never be this vulnerable.

You over-protective type males need to grow up.

Shes not 'vulnerable' u dolt.. she is actually in control of the situation. @ the OP, you are in control of the situation... tell him, rudely if you have to, that you are not interested and sever the relationship. You may think this is mean, but its actually the best thing to do.

Right now you are using him as an "emotional tampon" and not giving him anything in return. I know you are not telling the whole story, but any guy whos ever been friend-zoned knows the drill

If you don't think of him like one of your female friends he is not a real friend.

The reason why platonic friendships barely exist is because men rarely want to associate with women they are not attracted to, and women usually view men on the basis of what they can get from them. In cases like this its usually free diners & 1 sided emotional support

pleep: If you don't think of him like one of your female friends he is not a real friend.

The reason why platonic friendships barely exist is because men rarely want to associate with women they are not attracted to, and women usually view men on the basis of what they can get from them. In cases like this its usually free diners & 1 sided emotional support

I'm not friend with guys because I expect things from them, and certainly not dinner! Maybe Nigerians always buy things for girls when they hang out, even if they are not their girlfriend, but in Europe it's different maybe more casual. For example, a female friend might decide to buy me a coffee while if I have a drink with a male friend each of us pay for what we took.

Regarding that friend, I see him maybe every three months if I'm in Switzerland, something like that. We meet in a café, both pay for our drinks and then sometimes when he wants another drink he will pay for mine. And then the next time I will buy him a drink as a thank you. But it's like that with my female friends as well. And also he knows he has more money than me because he is working while I'm just an unpaid intern, so I think that's maybe why he sometimes pays for my drinks. Anyway....

1. I politely tell him we can only be friends...if he doesn't understand I ignore him.
2. I jus ignore him from the word go.

1. I politely tell him we can only be friends...if he doesn't understand I ignore him.
2. I jus ignore him from the word go.
3. I hook him up wit my friend instead.

Lool... Funny thread. Better say yes to that ur friend in the friend zone. Your bf abroad always sees you as a slut whether u're one or not. Girls sha!!!! So u hang out with him wear bum shorts around him, hug him even give him a slight peck on the cheeks and you don't want him to fall for u? You must be a learner. Don't you know guys are stimulated most physically?

12 inches!:
Lool... Funny thread. Better say yes to that ur friend in the friend zone. Your bf abroad always sees you as a slut whether u're one or not. Girls sha!!!! So u hang out with him wear bum shorts around him, hug him even give him a slight peck on the cheeks and you don't want him to fall for u? You must be a learner. Don't you know guys are stimulated most physically?

maybe you consider your girlfriend as a slut but i highly doubt my boyfriend does! And I don't hang out with my male friends wearing shorts! First of all it's the only guy I ever spent a week end with, second of all it's not 30° here so you don't wear short even in the house! And I don't kiss him on a cheek or anywhere!!! Keep your twisted comments for yourself!

miss-sweety86:


I'm not friend with guys because I expect things from them, and certainly not dinner! Maybe Nigerians always buy things for girls when they hang out, even if they are not their girlfriend, but in Europe it's different maybe more casual. For example, a female friend might decide to buy me a coffee while if I have a drink with a male friend each of us pay for what we took.

Regarding that friend, I see him maybe every three months if I'm in Switzerland, something like that. We meet in a café, both pay for our drinks and then sometimes when he wants another drink he will pay for mine. And then the next time I will buy him a drink as a thank you. But it's like that with my female friends as well. And also he knows he has more money than me because he is working while I'm just an unpaid intern, so I think that's maybe why he sometimes pays for my drinks. Anyway....

You r not telling the whole story.

Im not in Nigeria either, but everyone knows that platonic friendships don't work in Europe or Africa. There is some reason why you are hanging out with this dude other than simply enjoying his company. And vice versa for him.

The problem is your adgendas don't match... so you should sever the friendship or keep complaining.

pleep: You r not telling the whole story.

Im not in Nigeria either, but everyone knows that platonic friendships don't work in Europe or Africa. There is some reason why you are hanging out with this dude other than simply enjoying his company. And vice versa for him.

The problem is your adgendas don't match... so you should sever the friendship or keep complaining.

I think I told everything about my friendship with that guy, and I've nothing to hide about it! He's just a friend. And he's not my only male friends. When a guy and a girl are friends it is not always because one of them is attracted by the other. For example I'm friend with a 21 years-old guy who lives in the US. We met in college and we've always keep in touch. I Skype wtih him, chat with him on Facebook, send him postcards, etc, but I am not attracted to him at all and I think it's the same for him!

Regarding the friend that is into me, I think it's a matter of circumstances that we remained friends throughout all these years. I've travelled a lot so it's not easy to keep in touch with people. Or when you come back people are busy and don't have time to get a drink with you. This friend travels a lot for his job and last year he went 2 weeks in Singapore. I was living in Malaysia, so it was my only opportunity to see someone from home, to spend time with a friend and to speak French. And since I came back I saw him maybe 5 times because he's quite free when he's in Switzerland, unlike my other friends who work/study or can't afford to come to Geneva to meet me. For me that's all. Now I know that he wants more and he had told me and I told him that it won't happen. But it seems that my message wasn't clear enough, and I don't want to hurt him. That's the issue.

poster put urself in your boyfriends shoes, assuming he has this goregous childhood female friend that is relly crazy about him nd wants to date him, but he says no and tells u about her advances. now you are away and she invites him for a weekend and he says 'what the h3ll its just a weekend with an old friend' and he goes on a week vacation but calls and texts you once a while. please tell me that you ll sleep peacefully knowing that he is in another womans territory?
i wonder why women cant just say no to toasters but you ll come and tell your bf that one guy somewhere is disturbing you when it was actually you who gave out your number to him. what where you expecting?

man de toast you......you go visit am to spend weekend........and you expect your boyfriend in alabeke to pick your calls,reply ur texts and tell you 'all iz well'........FAIL.
now if i were you i would keep away from that friend till he learns to see me the way i would want. this is why guys dont take you women seriously when you tell us that you have a boyfriend or even engaged cos you make it obvious that there is room for two(or more)even if thats not what you signed up for. let ur NO be NO, and YES be YES. not sayin NO but your attitude and character is saying YES.

addictiv: poster put urself in your boyfriends shoes, assuming he has this goregous childhood female friend that is relly crazy about him nd wants to date him, but he says no and tells u about her advances. now you are away and she invites him for a weekend and he says 'what the h3ll its just a weekend with an old friend' and he goes on a week vacation but calls and texts you once a while. please tell me that you ll sleep peacefully knowing that he is in another womans territory?
i wonder why women cant just say no to toasters but you ll come and tell your bf that one guy somewhere is disturbing you when it was actually you who gave out your number to him. what where you expecting?

well, if my boyfriend were in my shoes (didn't get to see his friends for almost a year due to studies abroad, then no life because of his thesis, then no life because of his internship) I wouldn't stop him from spending time with the only friend he still has and who has time for him! i asked my boyfriend if he was ok with me going and he didn't tell me not to go. he told me to be careful and to keep in touch with him during the week end, he trusts me, he knows i'm not interested in that guy and that i would not cheat on him.

i might have given my phone number to that guy more than 6 years ago because we were classmates! I haven't changed my number since then, so he still has it! But I never gave him my other numbers (US, Malayisa, France, etc). My boyfriend is the only one to have all my phone numbers besides my mother. So, it's really not like I was always in touch with him and not with my boyfriend! I call my boyfriend everyday but I might talk to that guy maybe once a week on average!

Anyway, I just sent a message to that guy to tell him again that I'm not interested and that I hope he'll not talk about that anymore.

pleep: You over-protective type males need to grow up.

Shes not 'vulnerable' u dolt.. she is actually in control of the situation.

you are so dumb that you cant read in between the lines, you dimwwit! The vulnerability is not towards the friend but towards the boyfriend who keeps using and lieing to her all year long, you cretin!
Next time think before you open your mouth to clear all doubts!

^ I think hes a good boyfreind for letting her spend the night at another dudes house without getting angry..

Your are being over-protctive sha

miss-sweety86:


my boyfriend knows about that guy and he knows i'm not interested by him! i don't see why spending a week end with a friend would mean that I break up with my boyfriend! I was just spending the week end at his house because although it took me only 2 hours to go to his house, he lives in another country so I can't just go for the afternoon have a drink and then go back home!

Madam, na play play butterfly dey take enter bush. U are playing a dangerous game that u would regret. U know the guy wants to 4k u, yet u agreed to spend weekend at his house. Let me ask, are u well at all? Do u think at all, with that thing on ur neck u call a head? I know a similar case like this and the other guy finally succeeded in bedding the chick. I always tell girls "if u don't want cos u wanna be faithful to ur bf or whatever reason u got". Please tell the guy plainly "pls no vex but I don't want". The guy will not kill u. Don't go encouraging the guy by allowing him put his arms arnd u and so on, or holding Ur hand. Tell him no contact, just hello hi nothing more. The guy will get the message.

you are just dull! simple