I'lld rather not start. It's better not to start what u foresee can't be finished.

But if i stubbornly started the relationship, ignoring the odds & we have something wonderful going for us except for religious boundaries. Wel then, it has to be finished.

aisha2:

I left a very good man, one of the best men to ever walk this earth because of religious differences. My dear, if you ask for my oppinoin now, i will say religion is all politics. I have now refused to believe any person or instruction that says i have to hate someone else because he does not have the same believe as i.

Religion instead of being an instrument of love and peace has turned to be a grooming institution for hate, segregation, and oppression. I want to believe we are all created in Gods image and he loves us all, I will not beleive any religion that makes me think contrary

I couldn't agree more. Religion or the idea behind religion is supposed to bring us together. . .love one another yet it is the major divisive factor on earth. Why? Because MAN (and I mean man in the general sense) has found a way to use it as a tool to further their own selfish agendas.

It saddens me to read people say they won’t have anything to do with someone else from another religion. What happened to tolerance for goodness sakes?

Personally I would not terminate a relationship based on religion; I will do so only on lies. Religion is a belief which varies according to condition and environment. I am not sure which group you belong to but if you remember in the 80's and early 90’s the then born against were scripture unionist (SU) even the now popular RGGC, there were codes for every thing such as dress code, musical codes, behavioural code and name it but now the only code in vogue is tithe and multiplier products. Simple thing that is need in marriage is how individual accommodate each other the only difficult part is to do with when the kids and how you will nurture then and I tell you the most important religious is to fear of God (however you worship him) and be fair to all mankind which can be summarised as love. But if you apply wisdom to it and teach them the fear of God they will be adult one day and have the freedom to choose which religion to go for.

@ Sisikill
u made so much sense right now

and your parents are still together after so many years ain't they?
don't know if its because am not in nigeria but reading the response people are giving here is so shocking

then again, as my slogan goes . . ."Everyman to each his/her own".

the contribtions have been great, i choose not to answer certain questions so we dont end up in the "religion" section.

i would have had to subscribe to Aisha2's opinion but the truth is this issue shouldnt be treated lightly, we all have our opinions based on background and what we choose to believe.

I RESPECT EVERYBODY'S OPINION, LIKEWISE MINE.

@ Poster,

the Bible said we should not be of equal yoke with unbeliever.  light and darkness so to say can not work together.

but really i have seen couples with different religious believes that are doing fine. My uncle is a Muslim and he got married to a christian.  they have four kids now.  the wife goes to church while the husband goes to mosque.  the children will attend 'ile-kewu' during the week and church on sunday.  they have being married for 10 years.  the children havve being told to choose their own religion once they are 18 years old.

but e no dey easy, abeg.  once you have two altars in your home, there is problem.  God will help you dear!!

@Sisiskil, My Dear common sense is not so common after all. We have covered common sense and our ability to reason in lots of made doctorines, and teachings. They have taught us to hate so much and disregard Gods greatest Law, Love: If i could live like an angel and know what tomorrow ill bring, If i had power to move mountains, it would not mean a thing, If i had all the worlds knowlegde but i have no love, then i have nothing, for love is the greates gift of all. If i had a second chance I would choose love over hate and tolerance over segregation.
All you Bible quoting group can come and damn me to hell, but i will tell you this for once in your life use your common sense and do some simple reasoning. Any Pastors who tells me to Reject someone because he is not my religion does (Do not be unequally yoked with Unbelivers Slogan)not know God. . Who defines who an unbeliever is, Who gives me d right to call someone ho obviously believes in God and the supremacy of God an Unbeliever, who  or hat gives me he right to call someone created by God( Unless There is evidence that people who share a different faith from mine where not created by God) an unbeliever.

yes, i most definately would

zheroes:

the contribtions have been great, i choose not to answer certain questions so we don't end up in the "religion" section.

i would have had to subscribe to Aisha2's opinion but the truth is this issue shouldnt be treated lightly, we all have our opinions based on background and what we choose to believe.

I RESPECT EVERYBODY'S OPINION, LIKEWISE MINE.

Its a serious issue depending on how we choose to live. If you want to claim your way is the best then you will have serious problems, God is all about love and once you make that the center of your thoughts and relation and refuse to subscribe to peoples way of thinking and segregation and discrimination it ill be difficult.  
I ask again who has the right to sdefine ho is right or which religion is wrong? The God i serve is about love, I will not succumb to any mann made doctrine

This thread is long on idealism, fantasy and alice in wonderland sentiments but extremely short on truth and reality.

4Him:

This thread is long on idealism, fantasy and alice in wonderland sentiments but extremely short on truth and reality.

and ur point is?
u agree or disagree?

aisha2:

I ask again who has the right to sdefine ho is right or which religion is wrong? The God i serve is about love, I will not succumb to any mann made doctrine

John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Sometimes i wonder if we all read the same bible.

4Him:

This thread is long on idealism, fantasy and alice in wonderland sentiments but extremely short on truth and reality.

And you would be gracious enough to enlighten us on the truth and reality?

Imani:

And you would be gracious enough to enlighten us on the truth and reality?

We can fantasise all we want on "love conquers all" . . . that one only exists in novels.
Spiritual compatibility between couples is very essential for a marriage to work.
The bible says little foxes spoil the vine . . . after the lovey dovey honey moon period when both man and wife settle into the routine of married life, it is those tiny little differences "that didnt matter" while they were dating that will draw them apart.

The only way such marriages will work is if one or both of the couples is simply practicing his or her religion on paper only.
It is hard to see how you will cope with a husband who wants his children dressed taliban-style while you struggle to meet up with bible study.

They have landed on the thread and am out, 4him the chief sentencer and judge. Use your head and reason, anyway no need talking to you, because you will only get me a long list of Bible Quotes. Am not against that oh, but i try to understand why you focus on the judgement part and leave out the whole essence of God. I have said it before and on the risk of sounding like a broken record: I REFUSE TO BELEIVE ANY PERSON OR RELIGION THAT WOULD MAKE ME BELEIVE THAT GOD WILL HATE A PERSON HE CREATED IN IS OWN IMAGE.
Abeg make i go with my alice in wonderland dreams of a world without hate and discrimination or segregation since it is such a terrible thing to wish for

aisha2:

They have landed on the thread and am out, 4him the chief sentencer and judge.

Same ol', point out the truth and they quickly hide under the skirts of "thou shalt not judge".

aisha2:

Use your head and reason, anyway no need talking to you, because you will only get me a long list of Bible Quotes.

Perhaps you shld get out the bible and read it for urself. I dont bother most people with quotes anymore . . . just seed on stony ground.

aisha2:

Am not against that oh, but i try to understand why you focus on the judgement part and leave out the whole essence of God.

I doubt you have the faintest idea what the "whole essence of God" is.

aisha2:

I have said it before and on the risk of sounding like a broken record: I REFUSE TO BELEIVE ANY PERSON OR RELIGION THAT WOULD MAKE ME BELEIVE THAT GOD WILL HATE A PERSON HE CREATED IN IS OWN IMAGE.

I'm even more convinced you do not understand what the bible is all about.

aisha2:

Abeg make i go with my alice in wonderland dreams of a world without hate and discrimination or segregation since it is such a terrible thing to wish for

enjoy, my sister.

4Him:

We can fantasise all we want on "love conquers all" . . . that one only exists in novels.
Spiritual compatibility between couples is very essential for a marriage to work.
The bible says little foxes spoil the vine . . . after the lovey dovey honey moon period when both man and wife settle into the routine of married life, it is those tiny little differences "that didnt matter" while they were dating that will draw them apart.

The only way such marriages will work is if one or both of the couples is simply practicing his or her religion on paper only.
It is hard to see how you will cope with a husband who wants his children dressed taliban-style while you struggle to meet up with bible study.

4Him:

1. We can fantasise all we want on "love conquers all" . . . that one only exists in novels.
Spiritual compatibility between couples is very essential for a marriage to work.

2. The bible says little foxes spoil the vine . . . after the lovey dovey honey moon period when both man and wife settle into the routine of married life, it is those tiny little differences "that didnt matter" while they were dating that will draw them apart.

3. The only way such marriages will work is if one or both of the couples is simply practicing his or her religion on paper only.
It is hard to see how you will cope with a husband who wants his children dressed taliban-style while you struggle to meet up with bible study.

1. Love conquers most not all things. Most responses to the topic actually favour quiting a relationship because of difference of religion. However, some have also pointed out the fallacy of using religion as "major" yardstick in ditching a mutual loving relationship. I believe religion is important but i am not overtly fanatical about it.  

2. The example of little foxes is a flawed concept because it can also be applied to Christians who love each other but belong to different churches who differ on fundamental teachings on the bible. Example, a pentecostal may not be comfortable with someone of a white garment or catholic denomination. At the end of the day they are all Christians but what people believe in the bible is also important in how they live their daily lives.

3. Any inter religious marriage rarely work, not simply because of the religious differences itself but because of how/what OTHERS perceive about it. Those that work tend to have an inactive religious person. However, that requires a high level of maturity. Of course i am all for spouses praying for their spouses however, not forcing them to change religion.

At the end of the day, yes religion is important but maybe not as important as people make it out to be. With all the level of religious activity in the African or particularly Nigerian culture, are we getting better or worse as a people?

Please let's keep this thread in the romance section and not allow oga Seun to relegate it to the religion board thanks

@ busta
Almost 40 yrs until my dad died but that still hasn't stopped my mom from celebrating Sallah or going to the mosque for his remembrance.


@ Aisha2
I feel you. . .I really do.

I am not against people quoting bible but please have an understanding of what you are quoting. . .some just  regurgitate the wordsthey hear without thinking it through and it pisses me off. I hate to get into religious debates especially in a forum that's supposed to be for fun but I guess I'm can bend it a little.

Take the "be ye not of unequally yoked with unbelievers" quote now. . .

1) Who is an unbeliever? Some will say it’s someone who isn't Christian? Oh really? So why. . .pray tell, then do we have the different Christian denomination fighting amongst one another. So a Baptist can’t marry a Catholic or Anglican or Redeemed. So there goes that theory . . .

2) Let’s try the next one. . .is it someone who is your church member but has not reached your level of spirituality? Obviously if you believe in going to church 7 days a week and they think Sunday is just fine for them. . .doesn’t that make you unequally yoked? Another theory in the trash can.

3) Let see another. . .You are a gbim, gbim Christian, he isn’t anything. . .okay, not that he isn’t anything, he just refuses to put a label on what he is. He believes in God though, he prays and he even has a couple of Christian CDs that he meditates on in the privacy of his car. He respects your beliefs and has never once stopped you from going to church . . .but since he doesn’t go, he is obviously unequally yoked, right? Yep another theory kicked to the curb.

I can go on and on with but I will be digressing from my real point which is and someone please correct me if I’m wrong…. but isn’t the whole unequally yoked set in place to help couples avoid future problems? Yet we have a couple who are both Christians,  who are on the same spiritual level, attending the same church but are contemplating divorce. Meanwhile on the other side of the street is a Christian woman and M u s l i m man who have been together for years and years, good people, good parents and still love each other. . .however, according to the verse, These are the ones who are unequally yoke?

Lmao. . .can you honestly say there nothing wrong with this picture?

4Him:

This thread is long on idealism, fantasy and alice in wonderland sentiments but extremely short on truth and reality.

Then please do enlighten us on the truth and reality. No better place to have a discourse on this matter, no?

This is a very serious matter, so serious that it's destroyed great future, great dreams.

It's very sensitive too, because you see most of us are very inclined to our religious beliefs, emotionally attached.

For about 25years now, my parents have been together, my father is a confirmed alfa and a great one and a great one, and my mother is an evangelist, in fact, she's a gospel ministry + manages a church.

I have had the opportunity to review both religious beliefs, at the age of 11, I already graduated from finishing the quoran and was quite dedicated, thoroughly dedicated, however at the age of 19, I was already a christian.

Thats the good thing about understanding how it works, you can make defined decisions.

My girl of over 7years met me when I was a a great one, a sweet relationship, because, if because of religious beliefs she had dished me the first year, we won't be together for the past 8years or so,

90% of those that became a xtians became so because you were exposed to this religion from your family and in fact: 98% of moslems are moslems because of their background, so tell me, how does that actually translate to going to heaven, allowing your background to decide your religious beliefs, have you ever asked yourself why over 1billion people are moslems and over 1B people are christians, and in countries like china, over 1.3B are more or less neither a christian or a moslems. Do you ever think over 1B people are foolish, I told you this is a complex thing.

I think people should be quite cautious before they make foolish decisions they will eventual regret, Like aisha said, the key to any religion is basically LOVE, out of the 10 commandments, 6 had to do with other people and our care for them.

And the interesting thing about it all is that, most of us only do follow follow. Follow wetin imam and pastor talk without seriously studying it Or reviewing it.

A simple case study is as follows:

Do you know it's not mandatory as a christian to pay 10% as tithes, Yes, I know it's God's money and we shouldn't talk about it, but it's because God said it, thats why I am saying it,

The day I saw Pastor Okotie ride a Hummer Jeep (which I felt was quite extravagant for his position), I went to on my computer and studied the issue of paying tithes keenly, and guess what I found out ?

In denmark, Austria, Finland, people pay roughly: 1% of their income, read below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tithe

And a simple further googling to other christian sites will sustantiate this fact that it's good to support your church, however it's more important to love your neighbour enough to support him when he asks for your help than feeling you have done your obligation to God just because you paid 10%,  it's better to support your neighbour with this money, and giving as you wish.


So, why would you allow that God sent guy go or that sweet princess go, simply because you assume he's on the other side.

In fact, think it over, before you might just miss that great person just because you ASSUME,  One love my people.

Damola, God Bless you. Thank you. You wont believe how painful it is to let go of someone so right and so good, someone who fits u and gets you so perfectly because a group of people cant get over their bias. I may have been a coward and taken the wrong step but I ill advice anyone never to let go of a good person because of man made sentiments, called religion. When it gets to religion even so called learned poeple become so myopic and dumb.

if neither of them practices the religion, there's no problem: there are lots of people who claim a religion but dont practice.

If either of them is a living Christian, I dont see how it will work

where man for start from now?  

Imani:

1. Love conquers most not all things. Most responses to the topic actually favour quiting a relationship because of difference of religion. However, some have also pointed out the fallacy of using religion as "major" yardstick in ditching a mutual loving relationship. I believe religion is important but i am not overtly fanatical about it.  

I agree . . . i have used religion as a yardstick here with the assumption that both parties are actually seriously into practicing their religions. For those to whom religion is merely a tick of a box then this should not be an issue.

Imani:

2. The example of little foxes is a flawed concept because it can also be applied to Christians who love each other but belong to different churches who differ on fundamental teachings on the bible. Example, a pentecostal may not be comfortable with someone of a white garment or catholic denomination. At the end of the day they are all Christians but what people believe in the bible is also important in how they live their daily lives.

That doesnt make it a flawed concept . . . it simply implies that there are a wide range of issues that it can be applied to, it is not strictly speaking about religious differences in marriage.

Imani:

3. Any inter religious marriage rarely work, not simply because of the religious differences itself but because of how/what OTHERS perceive about it. Those that work tend to have an inactive religious person. However, that requires a high level of maturity. Of course i am all for spouses praying for their spouses however, not forcing them to change religion.

That is not entirely true.
However i had a change of mind as regards the last line of your comment above, i was listening to a bible chapter in Corinthians and was actually surprised to note that if your spouse is an unbeliever but is content to dwell with you and you with her then you dont have grounds for divorce.

Lets not even look too far, not every couple is on the same plane spiritually even if they attend the same church. One spouse wants to live in the church 24/7, the other is just content with sunday mornings and saying a short prayer before bedtime . . . that may be a basis for marital friction if both dont learn to adjust to the other's differences.

I wont go out of my way to marry a woman who is of a different faith from me . . . biblically it is wrong but i wont be looking for a prayer warrior either. The most important thing is to learn to compromise, if others can cope with a spouse of a differing faith then so be it.
At the end of the day, you do what seems best in your eyes and in the sight of God.

Imani:

At the end of the day, yes religion is important but maybe not as important as people make it out to be. With all the level of religious activity in the African or particularly Nigerian culture, are we getting better or worse as a people?

I dont think religion is important either as i dont practice one. I have a relationship with God, its popularly called christianity but i see it not as a badge but as a way of life for me. what we have in Nigeria today is nothing short of hypocrisy . . .

Imani:

Please let's keep this thread in the romance section and not allow oga Seun to relegate it to the religion board thanks

I get the point.

Oh, and I should add that, my parents have only 2 of us, my brother don't even go to church nor does he goes to mosque, but he believes in God,  though he recently turned a xtian, but still, it's hard for any of us to follow follow pastor talk,  just because he talk.

Where does that put him,

Guy, shine your eyes, don't let religious politics kill your future, 

Girl, hold your bobo tight,

I don't listen to people anymore, in fact I never did listen to people because people just like to talk the talk,  what makes your father or mother or your friend strong enough to condemn a religion, is she an expert, is it not what he's been hearing, not even studying that made him say this and that,

Oh boy, I have only been to church once in the last 6 weeks, does that make me a bad boy,  na between me and my God, 

As sensitive as this matter is, don't let other people make decisions for you, be wise enough to believe in yourself and your decision.

Like my great pastor 2face says: no body holy pass,  no body no it all,  100T people have lived before me, 100T people will live after me, I go enjoy my life in a coooooool way,

And to those that feel religion might actually be an issue,

I think you guys won't even click that long, if it's going to be an issue, it's because you made it obvious, the reason why you got along for weeks and months was because it doesn't really matter,

If it'll be a strong issue, then while dating, it'll be obvious that this one na prayer warrior or na so so mosque , and you cannot stand the talk, the relationship will speak for itself.

A larger percentage of youths are simply casual xtians and moslems, therefore it's rarely going to be an issue, if it'll be an issue, while dating you will know,

Sisikill:

Take the "be ye not of unequally yoked with unbelievers" quote now. . .

1) Who is an unbeliever? Some will say it’s someone who isn't Christian? Oh really? So why. . .pray tell, then do we have the different Christian denomination fighting amongst one another. So a Baptist can’t marry a Catholic or Anglican or Redeemed. So there goes that theory . . .

I dont get it either. My parents used to be big on this issue of "you cant marry outside your church" until i asked them to show me where it was so written in the bible . . .
I think, however, that the bible is pretty plain on who constitutes an unbeliever.

Sisikill:

2) Let’s try the next one. . .is it someone who is your church member but has not reached your level of spirituality? Obviously if you believe in going to church 7 days a week and they think Sunday is just fine for them. . .doesn’t that make you unequally yoked? Another theory in the trash can.

I fall into that category . . . my best friends in college went to church almost 7 times a week while i was content with going on sunday and the odd wednesday. That is sufficient to me, the problem with "religion" today is we have allowed too many man-made doctrines to creep in so much that many of us end up being confused as to what is really God and what is just the sentiments of ur pastor.

Sisikill:

3) Let see another. . .You are a gbim, gbim Christian, he isn’t anything. . .okay, not that he isn’t anything, he just refuses to put a label on what he is. He believes in God though, he prays and he even has a couple of Christian CDs that he meditates on in the privacy of his car. He respects your beliefs and has never once stopped you from going to church . . .but since he doesn’t go, he is obviously unequally yoked, right? Yep another theory kicked to the curb.

No hard and fast rule, if you are the tongue-speaking type of christian then dont bother hooking that "i just want a simple christian life" chic because she happens to be cute. Even water finds its level.

Sisikill:

I can go on and on with but I will be digressing from my real point which is and someone please correct me if I’m wrong…. but isn’t the whole unequally yoked set in place to help couples avoid future problems? Yet we have a couple who are both Christians,  who are on the same spiritual level, attending the same church but are contemplating divorce. Meanwhile on the other side of the street is a Christian woman and M u s l i m man who have been together for years and years, good people, good parents and still love each other. . .however, according to the verse, These are the ones who are unequally yoke?

Let me add to this - i recently learnt that a guy, a family friend i have respected for yrs, a christian couple i looked up to were separating because the husband had been caught cheating on his wife.
Sometimes you wonder, what went wrong? Werent they both SU christians for the last 30yrs? Who was deceiving who?

Sisikill:

Then please do enlighten us on the truth and reality. No better place to have a discourse on this matter, no?

I have tried . . . i dont know the whole truth either. What i do know is that compatibility in marriage is not as simple as "love conquers all".

Siskill and damola are making me take more than a second look at this issue.

@Poster

That's a tough one. I'll try to get her a taste and promises of Christianity and hope she is willing to change but if she refuse to change, well we'll remain friends. I just can't imagine raising a home with my Lord and personal savior in one corner of the house. I want him to be the king of all of my domain.

@4Him,

I just checked your profile image and saw the picture of a "serene" tiger rather than a "roaring" tiger. I was prompted to look based on the mild nature of your response regarding a topic you are such and expert on or rather passionate about. You haven't even abused anyone on this thread, yet. Hmmm what is happening to you?

@ Topic,

By all means if spiritual compatibility is important to you, then it should be a important factor in deciding which relationship to be involved in. I have nothing against that. I onced said that three factors i look for in a relationship in no particular order.
1. Spiritual compatibility
2. Mental compatibility
3. Physical compatibility

It is important that i relate to a loved on on those levels, BUT if i meet someone not necessarily compatible on all 3 fronts, then i may make adjustments. But i wont go into any relationship blindly but aware of the full facts.

Imani:

@4Him,

I just checked your profile image and saw the picture of a "serene" tiger rather than a "roaring" tiger. I was prompted to look based on the mild nature of your response regarding a topic you are such and expert on or rather passionate about. You haven't even abused anyone on this thread, yet. Hmmm what is happening to you? 

I am now a man of peace.
Seriously though,  a couple of experiences have made me change my mind on a wide range of issues i once held a dogmatic opinion on.
Perhaps abusing people is not a good way of passing across a message.

Do i think that wilfully marrying an unbeliever is wrong as a christian? Absolutely!

Imani:

@4Him,You haven't even abused anyone on this thread, yet. Hmmm what is happening to you?

@ imani how do i thank you? you make me laugh i cant believe it. i normally run away when i see my dear brothers teachings especially on his beloved religion.

anyway love they say is blind but marriage is an eye opener. the road to hell is always full of good intensions.

i like to be proved wrong but these kind of relationships are always presure cooker relationships.

i think funmi had a thread on this a while back, by the way what is her new name. funny i miss her. funmi hope you are well and doing fine?

have a great weekend everyone and brother david especially

4Him:

I am now a man of peace.
Seriously though, a couple of experiences have made me change my mind on a wide range of issues i once held a dogmatic opinion on. Perhaps abusing people is not a good way of passing across a message. Do i think that wilfully marrying an unbeliever is wrong as a christian? Absolutely!

mmmmmmmmmmmm there is heaven afterall. bless you brother david. no wonder paul said when i was a child i did childish things now i am grown and put away childish things.

your stock just went up in value in my book. God bless

That's a tough one. I'll try to get her a taste and promises of Christianity and hope she is willing to change but if she refuse to change, well we'll remain friends. I just can't imagine raising a home with my Lord and personal savior in one corner of the house. I want him to be the king of all of my domain.  

Na you be God!!!, you cannot love a woman cos she's  a just a christian or a moslem . You love her for who she's, her composition, her totality,

Bro, God has seen a lot, in fact, a lot!!!, interestingly 1000 years ago, someone would have made this same mistake, last year, someone still did, open your mind, , be like a business man, review matters without emotions for once,

Listen, the pinkin you will have will choose his path, whether he will become a pastor or an moslem or a mad al qeida blowing people up, live your life to the fullest, be open to changes, because time changes, stick with your principles however allow it to adapt to changing times.

My say on this is: I will marry them all, just make me happy, in fact, all of them, bring them on, I will marry them all.