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Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 3:39pm On Mar 27, 2013
My dear ur case isn't any diff from mine.I ave the same ish wit u buh the good is dat my family stood by me till today my baby will be 1year soon,such a cute boy.His father denied and betrayed us to his people I was strong and prayerful to God,despite my sis nd mums warinings of keepn the child the tld me to kip him in a motherless after birth buh I refused cos dey were afraid of what my dad will do to us wen he hears it,to my amazement he accepted me nd the child and wen my baby father heard it was a boy he rushed to do the intro snc sep. Last year ave been n my fathers house nursn my child wit the lil money he pays n into my acc for the baby,he niether callS or pick my calls.It has all be gud snc I tuk the decison to tkia of him and God has bn faithful am praying for a job and I no very soon he will do it.So what am saying is dis ave bn dere u ave to be strong for ur child is not easy buh pray to God for grace to deliver safetly and children are blessngs from God help will cm from nowere u didn't evn expect be prayerful daz all hand everyting to God.People will say all sorts of tins buh God has a final say dat child will never bring shame to u.My son is indeed a blessing to me.

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Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by blessedindeed: 4:45pm On Mar 27, 2013
Pls in my opinion i will advise u face ur challenges now else u will live to fight this problem eternally. go 2 ur parents if they are still alive cos no matter what happens they still remains ur no1 fans. tell them exactly what happens hv d baby and live d baby with them wherever they stay n surely baby will survive. Go on with ur life n always remember to send them stuffs as u make some money. all of u will remain grateful to each other in future and d thought of this babys future if given up for adoption wont hunt u. its ur mess. take care of it with pain but u will be happy u did at last.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 5:27pm On Mar 27, 2013
[quote author=booqee]Wow..I can't believe we still have good hearted nairalanders, infact nigerians.
May God bless u all o.
@poster. I do pray you have a gud and safe delivery. I wish i could help you financially..but i'm just a prospective corper. But i want to ask, i've noticed at least 7pple on this thread who are really really willing to help you financially. Why you still considering temporary adoption?? Spending his first year with you is very important for your baby and u too..healthwise, emotio. thank u. if i have the means, i will be so happy to keep my baby, but if not, i will give him away for a why so that i can strugle to have all i need to take care of him. i dont know how easy it'll be for a mother to give her baby away after birth. but i'll give up everything to make sure i give my baby a very gud life.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by biolabee(m): 9:36pm On Mar 27, 2013
debrief08: Biolabee, please explain what you mean "not so financially challenged", a 7 month old pregnant woman who can't afford antenetal?
So she has money and is keeping it to buy shoes or what?

At 7 months I almost lost my life and my babys life, this is a delicate time for any mother, she shouldn't have the stress of running around, crying and thinking.
Some people have offered help, am asking Ify to coordinate so she can have small money to do basic things before I find my feet again and redeem my own pledges in addition to the several offers of monthly support.
She realistically can't hold any meaningful employment now till after the baby is at least 8 weeks so if she will keep the baby she needs all the help she can get and promises fulfiled.
She realised all this and was overwhelmed hence she came here.
For those asking why she is still discussing foster care its called keeping options open in case promises don't materialise.
We can all preach, have a romantic idea of how she should indefinately wait for the man but she is living in the reality.
If he had a job welfare would have forced him to pay, the response of his family she has writen here, because he is an adult social welfare can't force his family to contribute to the babys welfare.
I beg people, life is a circle, let's do what needs to be done not the blame back and forth game.

Dear Ma, my statement was not to make light of matter but to highlight a potential sour point that what is the basis for help
A lot of pregnant ladies come on NL with accounts of the dilemma there are in considering they have been abandoned by their lovers and support is not forthcoming. And nothing seems to come forth of it

What i was trying to point out if that do we intend to look at this niche of support and if it is feasible considering the growing cases of single moms
I know firsthand what a woman goes through from conception to parturition and realise the need for support
Just thinking of others who have been told to abort or adopt not diminishing the noble efforts of those here
Sorry if it did not convey what i was trying to say


Sisi_Kill:
Well since OP says the guy already knows they are having a boy.....your whole point of him rushing her to the alter is moot, no?

Thanks anyway, now I understand why all the single mothers out there are mothers to girls. That always confused me.


I am not particular abt the boy
In the western part of the country, some families will prevail on the boy to accept because of the strong inherent belief in destiny..that was what i was putting across

Also its sad that the girl child is still not as appreciated as the male.
SAD indeed
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by dadewuyi200: 11:09pm On Mar 27, 2013
hi i saw your ad and i am so sorry for what happened ,the guy obviously don't give a shit about you or the baby..ok i will like to adopt that baby i live in american but i am a nigeria i still have some family in nigeria also ok so i promise to take care of that baby if you allow me...here is my email Bleep send me an email and we can continue this conversation there and we shall exchange numbers if thats ok with you.....hope to hear from you soon..
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 11:30pm On Mar 27, 2013
[quote author=lovemychild][/quote] ok@lovemychild. God's favour on you, on whatever decision you plan to make.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 11:35pm On Mar 27, 2013
dadewuyi200: hi i saw your ad and i am so sorry for what happened ,the guy obviously don't give a shit about you or the baby..ok i will like to adopt that baby i live in american but i am a nigeria i still have some family in nigeria also ok so i promise to take care of that baby if you allow me...here is my email Bleep send me an email and we can continue this conversation there and we shall exchange numbers if thats ok with you.....hope to hear from you soon..
jeez..wat is this?? pls don't do dat. She wants temporary adoption..and it seems to me dat you want a permanent one (or am i jumping to conclusion??). Its not likely you would want to return the child when she's ready for him and up on her feet.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Fajzay: 1:00am On Mar 28, 2013
OP! I'll advice you not to give up your baby. Only the heartless will give up the treasure they carried in their belly for 9 months. Come to think of it, 10 years down the line, how would you feel? About you having your blood somewhere that you don't know. Am very sure you wont be able to sustain that emotional trauma. Life isn't bed of roses. Rise to the challenge, fight it out. Many of us were raised from meagre homes where we struggled it out. Today, we look back at those times and we r grateful that our parents never gave us up.
Nevertheless, it would be a honor to be of help for this cause. You can contact the moderator for my contact and we can take it up from there.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 7:08am On Mar 28, 2013
dadewuyi200: hi i saw your ad and i am so sorry for what happened ,the guy obviously don't give a shit about you or the baby..ok i will like to adopt that baby i live in american but i am a nigeria i still have some family in nigeria also ok so i promise to take care of that baby if you allow me...here is my email dadewuyi2002@yahoo.co.uk send me an email and we can continue this conversation there and we shall exchange numbers if thats ok with you.....hope to hear from you soon..
. thank u vey much for ur concern. am sorry i dont want my baby too far from me and am not given him up for adoption but child custody. but if God decide to bless me with means of taking care of him, i'll keep him and take very good care of him myselve. thank u
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Ivynwa(f): 7:27am On Mar 28, 2013
@Lovemychild
You seem to have gotten some good offer of financial helps in the thread which if carefully checked and faithfully given as promised may help you a little bit while taking care of the baby while it is at the tender stage.
You seem to have waded through some parts of the problem already by carrying the pregnancy even while your loved ones are not happy about your unmarried state. A newly born child will need the warmth of its mother and if you have the little wherewithals at that time to care for that child, I will advice that you stay with the child and give it care until it blossoms out. If you still feel like giving it out temporary after the child has grown strong say a year or two so that you can work or study then you can do that while still playing an active role in the life of the child whether it is being taken care of in an orphanage or by a foster parent. I don't think that one should turn the back, break that parental bond and walk or disappear from the life of a child.

The younger ladies should learn to make good decisions from cases like this. The young man you lovey dovey with, will he abandon you to your fate after impregnating you or will he be there to love and take care of you? If he shows signs of selfish behaviour from the beginning, better avoid such.

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Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 7:29am On Mar 28, 2013
thank u everyone on this forum for ur advice and encouragement. in one way or the other ur words have really enlighten me for good. pls for those who are asking to adopt my baby. thank u for ur concern, but i dont want to give out my child to a family or for that far. it's custody i want so i could come back soon to carry him and that can only be achieved if i went through social welfare but if i have the means, i would keep him with me. sorry if u send me pm and i didnt respond. i dont know how to reply it. and i dont know also how to reach the moderator to get some of ur contacts or leave my contact with as u'r requesting. thank u
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 7:30am On Mar 28, 2013
now i know dr is smtin rong swwere,is either u r trickn us wit dis u just wnt sm money frm the forum.i just tld u i wnt tru the same truama.i prayed nd god ansd me.am nt wrkn buh yet i feed my boy wel even wit bst diapers nd milk,cloths name it anything.ur case is never diff frm odas.is ur choice wen dat baby grows nd knows the wway u nd father treated him wel u ave urslf to blame i rest my case.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Ivynwa(f): 7:32am On Mar 28, 2013
lovemychild: thank u everyone on this forum for ur advice and encouragement. in one way or the other ur words have really enlighten me for good. pls for those who are asking to adopt my baby. thank u for ur concern, but i dont want to give out my child to a family or for that far. it's custody i want so i could come back soon to carry him and that can only be achieved if i went through social welfare but if i have the means, i would keep him with me. sorry if u send me pm and i didnt respond. i dont know how to reply it. and i dont know also how to reach the moderator to get some of ur contacts or leave my contact with as u'r requesting. thank u

You can write the moderator of the section TGirl4real or any trusted person here that can carefully help you communicate with these persons that promised to help you.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 7:33am On Mar 28, 2013
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Ivynwa(f): 7:39am On Mar 28, 2013
lovemychild: thank u everyone on this forum for ur advice and encouragement. in one way or the other ur words have really enlighten me for good. pls for those who are asking to adopt my baby. thank u for ur concern, but i dont want to give out my child to a family or for that far. it's custody i want so i could come back soon to carry him and that can only be achieved if i went through social welfare but if i have the means, i would keep him with me. sorry if u send me pm and i didnt respond. i dont know how to reply it. and i dont know also how to reach the moderator to get some of ur contacts or leave my contact with as u'r requesting. thank u

Aw-aw-aw okay,
if they send you pms that come to your mail with a note that says something like "so-so and so person wants to send you a mail but cannot because they don't have your e-mail", all you have to do is click on reply and send the mail back to the sender again, that way the person will get your e-mail address and can easily communicate with you, okay Baby?
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 7:43am On Mar 28, 2013
[quote author=chaircover]
abeg mk sht end dis joor na she sabi i don talk tire.she is the one carrying the child so mk she decide wetinshe want.children are gifts frn god.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 8:46am On Mar 28, 2013
[quote author=ucgirl][/quote] ^^are you for real?? Must u even comment??
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by travelxpat(m): 9:41am On Mar 28, 2013
Hello once again,contact the moderator to get my contacts from him\her.I still stand on my words.I hope my baby is doing fine.remember am to father him for one year.but please make up your mind if its custody you want ,use the right channel.don't give out your child ,you might just kill a destiny,asides so many spiritual implications.
Cheers my sister

1 Like

Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 10:03am On Mar 28, 2013
ucgirl: now i know dr is smtin rong swwere,is either u r trickn us wit dis u just wnt sm money frm the forum.i just tld u i wnt tru the same truama.i prayed nd god ansd me.am nt wrkn buh yet i feed my boy wel even wit bst diapers nd milk,cloths name it anything.ur case is never diff frm odas.is ur choice wen dat baby grows nd knows the wway u nd father treated him wel u ave urslf to blame i rest my case.
. thank u for sharing ur past challenges too. am encouraged, but i dont have an intention to extract money from the forum as u said. do u think am not praying as u did? in ur case, how did God answer ur prayers since u weren't working and nobody help u yet u were able to do all those beautful things for ur baby? i want to learn too
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 10:24am On Mar 28, 2013
travelxpat: Hello once again,contact the moderator to get my contacts from him\her.I still stand on my words.I hope my baby is doing fine.remember am to father him for one year.but please make up your mind if its custody you want ,use the right channel.don't give out your child ,you might just kill a destiny,asides so many spiritual implications.
Cheers my sister
. thank u so much. u make me smile. God bless u
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Tgirl4real(f): 10:48am On Mar 28, 2013
travelxpat: Hello once again,contact the moderator to get my contacts from him\her.I still stand on my words.I hope my baby is doing fine.remember am to father him for one year.but please make up your mind if its custody you want ,use the right channel.don't give out your child ,you might just kill a destiny,asides so many spiritual implications.
Cheers my sister


Hello Sir, kindly send me a PM. BTW, she will definitely need more dan a year support. I haven't read the thread in to to, but I do hope she can get a job if she decides to keep the baby.

@ CC, IFY n Debrief,

From the few posts I read, I think u guys are volunteering to organise d donation. If yes, OP u are in safe hands.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 10:53am On Mar 28, 2013
Ivynwa:

Aw-aw-aw okay,
if they send you pms that come to your mail with a note that says something like "so-so and so person wants to send you a mail but cannot because they don't have your e-mail", all you have to do is click on reply and send the mail back to the sender again, that way the person will get your e-mail address and can easily communicate with you, okay Baby?
ok. thanks
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 10:56am On Mar 28, 2013
thanks [quote author=chaircover]

That is good. What I want you to do is to go through this thread and send a PM to all those who had offered financial assistance for you. Get in contact with them and discuss how they can help you. Be honest and open to them on what your needs are and see how you get on from there. I believe that things will fall into place and you will have no reason to give up your baby for a single day by His Grace.

May God bless everyone who comes to the aid in any form of this young wo
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 1:22pm On Mar 28, 2013
Well I tld u am with my parents,my parents support me from tym to tym,and my elder sis too,all together wit the lil money my baby dad sents to my account daz it.I manage the resources I got very well.So I dnt really overspend bfore I get anoda,then my friend sometyms buy a lot of baby cereals wen ever she travels it just comes n lk dat lk dat,daz the way I ave been getn gifts money here and dere.Dat is y I said u shud kip ur baby ok dnt wori abt tomorrow it will tkia of itself honestly only pray to God and allow him to do the remaining for u.He will def provide for u nd the baby ok nd always be thankful for the lil u ave he will gv u more.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by biolabee(m): 1:31pm On Mar 28, 2013
It's so unfair that women are left to clean up after the mess caused by some steewwpid azzes

What rankles me further is the high level of hypocrisy that labels men that abandon their seed as players while women are called child killers or heartless.

We all should be Judged
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Fhemmmy: 1:55pm On Mar 28, 2013
Once you have made up your mind and your case has been investigated to be real as well as sure of what form of help you would need, we would like to be a blessing as well . . . God Bless!
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Tgirl4real(f): 10:02pm On Mar 28, 2013
biolabee: It's so unfair that women are left to clean up after the mess caused by some steewwpid azzes

What rankles me further is the high level of hypocrisy that labels men that abandon their seed as players while women are called child killers or heartless.

We all should be Judged

Hmmm... I gree!

@ OP, I haven't heard from u still.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Ndipe(m): 10:34pm On Mar 28, 2013
I posed this question some years back if one would give up their child for adoption?

Here it is.

https://www.nairaland.com/156219/give-up-child-adoption
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 10:39pm On Mar 28, 2013
Tgirl4real:

Hmmm... I gree!

@ OP, I haven't heard from u still.
i sent u a mail this afternoon.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Tgirl4real(f): 11:20pm On Mar 28, 2013
lovemychild: i sent u a mail this afternoon.

Dear, I guess u missed up d email cos of d space I added...

I sent u a PM, check ur mail and reply me.
Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Nobody: 6:19am On Mar 30, 2013
i'll keep posting everything that's happening with me here. thank u all especially debrief. u've done so well. may God bless and keep u wherever u are. yestday your frnd called me and took me out. she gave me some money for drugs and we went to silver bird for sight seeing. it was really fun. she's so wounderful. am really learning. after all my storm, i know God will help me to have so i could also be a blessing to someone in times of need. thank u so much

4 Likes

Re: Thinking On Giving My Baby Up For Adoption. Does That Make Me A Terrible Mom? by Tgirl4real(f): 7:58am On Mar 30, 2013
Dear,

I just saw all ur responses in my spam folder. Pls check ur spam folder for mine as well.

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